And This Is Why We Call It “OralWorld”

If I was a local sex columnist (ahem), this would be a great opportunity for me to showcase just how much more fun tech conference attendees have in San Francisco, as opposed to, say, other major cities. Macworld *used* to be a goldmine for sexy geeks and hot ‘n nerdy hookups, but then Mr. Jobs pulled out, and we were all left high and dry. Nothing makes a girl more pissed off. It’s the truth. So, someone please tell Apple to bring sexy back.

OracleWorld takes over an entire street block in downtown SF every year — SOMA to be precise — and has a big conference. I’ve interviewed local sex workers about commerce during this event and, yes, it would make a great column. But this is a blog, and if you want to have fun along with me at home, and see why pervy voyeuristic locals like me call it “OralWorld” then just take a trip through Craigslist’s Casual Encounters and try a few search terms. Don’t forget OpenWorld and JavaOne. There are a lot of hookups on the company dime here, and while there’s nothing wrong with that in my book, I still do wonder who gets “buzzed and horned up from the receptions.” Also, I was pleased to see a woman with a no-nonsense post in there (“not exactly single female” seeks married/attached male.”)

There’s a reason we call it OralWorld. To wit:

There’s few things as good as oral to build the excitement (or add to it, or finish it). (…) Amidst the influx of visitors for the Oracle gig this week, and the local fauna, I am looking for you .. a witty, fun, oral chef.. who relishes this appetizer served both ways! You enthusiastically enjoy the intensity of both giving and receiving an appetizer best served hot. You can let go and immerse yourself, and still enjoy a laugh filled conversation. (Appetizers? Entrees? or both…. – m4w financial district)

Moscone is not just the hunting grounds of attendees, it seems we San Franciscans also plunder the spoils of Oracle booty:

Are there any bored women attending Oracle One this week that are desperate for a conversation that doesn’t involved tech? Did your company send you here to learn up on all the latest and greatest but instead your mind is wondering where all the really good men are at? Certainly not attending that conference! Are you away from the Hubby and wanting to chat with someone new and different? Do you want to drift off while some shill champions the latest and greatest from Oracle and instead fantasize about a nice set of warm, soft hands caressing your body? (Oracle Engagement – m4w – 35 (SOMA / south beach)

And — let me know if you see your boss in there. Seems like I’ve seen a lot of “senior professional” penis (plural) in the past few minutes…

Image from this explicit gallery of Met Art’s top-voted model Calla.

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