…and heaven knows they’re miserable now

It is generally not my policy to send sites such as these traffic. However, the just-launched t-shirts at Passion 4 Christ Movement (p4cmtshirts.bigcartel.com) are… priceless. My irony meter passed red and the gauge exploded in giggles and steam when I saw the “ex-masturbator” tees right next to the “ex-hypocrite” shirts in their store (!), but also that the “ex-homosexual” isn’t available yet — alas, the “ex-homosexual” is “coming soon.” (thanks, Eve!)

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  1. Ok, I checked out their FAQ section….

    How is it that one of the questions that they don’t answer in the FAQ is:

    Who the hell would wear any of these t-shirts?

    Because that HAS to be a question everyone is thinking when looking at this site. WTF Ex-masturbator?! Does that sound like a shirt that anyone would want to advertise about themselves?

  2. Does anybody else love the fact that they’re printed on American Apparel shirts? I wonder if these people realize what kind of porny advertising they’re giving their money to (granted, everybody uses AA to print shirts, but for fuckssake, AA has a naked Sasha Grey. These people have unhappy ‘ex’ wankers- I know whose team I want to play for).

    And what is up with the Ex-Rebel? I guess these people really doesn’t care about trying to get rid of that stereotype of the Church hating free thought…

  3. what I loved was that minutes after I put up this post a queer African-American friend of mine emailed me immediately saying:

    > I have to say, that Ex-Homosexual model looks like every hot fierce
    > black dyke I know! There’s nothing “ex” about that homosexual, except maybe
    > the fact that she’s some girl’s ex-girlfriend because she started sleeping
    > with some other girl. Bottom line: that model looks like she does girls.


  4. I’d guess that at least 3 of the 4 teens photographed for posterity are sincerely praying daily that none of these pictures will wind up on MySpace or Facebook and thinking that no matter what they got paid for modeling, it wasn’t enough.

    The EX-slave T-shirt can at least be explained by “I got tired of being a bottom, I’ve reinvented myself as a domme”.

  5. Isn’t pretty much *everyone* an ‘ex-masturbator’? Unless you’re doing it right now, of course… it’s like the old joke: “It’s easy to become a non-smoker, I’ve done it hundreds of times. The hard part is staying one.”

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