…and heaven knows they’re miserable now

It is generally not my policy to send sites such as these traffic. However, the just-launched t-shirts at Passion 4 Christ Movement (p4cmtshirts.bigcartel.com) are… priceless. My irony meter passed red and the gauge exploded in giggles and steam when I saw the “ex-masturbator” tees right next to the “ex-hypocrite” shirts in their store (!), but also that the “ex-homosexual” isn’t available yet — alas, the “ex-homosexual” is “coming soon.” (thanks, Eve!)

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  • Liz

    How come ex porn-addict only comes in mens? So not fair… now I’ll have to keep watching porn while wearing my ex-masturbator shirt – things might get uncomfortable!

  • Agile Cybrog

    I would wear EX-PC4M Degenerate.

  • Bernie

    Ok, I checked out their FAQ section….

    How is it that one of the questions that they don’t answer in the FAQ is:

    Who the hell would wear any of these t-shirts?

    Because that HAS to be a question everyone is thinking when looking at this site. WTF Ex-masturbator?! Does that sound like a shirt that anyone would want to advertise about themselves?

  • Derwoody

    What Kimberly Kane said….

  • Does anybody else love the fact that they’re printed on American Apparel shirts? I wonder if these people realize what kind of porny advertising they’re giving their money to (granted, everybody uses AA to print shirts, but for fuckssake, AA has a naked Sasha Grey. These people have unhappy ‘ex’ wankers- I know whose team I want to play for).

    And what is up with the Ex-Rebel? I guess these people really doesn’t care about trying to get rid of that stereotype of the Church hating free thought…

  • what I loved was that minutes after I put up this post a queer African-American friend of mine emailed me immediately saying:

    > I have to say, that Ex-Homosexual model looks like every hot fierce
    > black dyke I know! There’s nothing “ex” about that homosexual, except maybe
    > the fact that she’s some girl’s ex-girlfriend because she started sleeping
    > with some other girl. Bottom line: that model looks like she does girls.


  • @ A.Lizard. You are likely, correct. They are probably like “Oh man, I hope these pics don’t ruin my chances of getting laid via MySpace!” *dum-dum-dum* :)

  • Chuck

    The ex-homosexual now carries no reminder of her shameful past, save for the black, wreath-like Earrings of Penitence. (patent pending)
    Hers is a quiet dignity.

  • I’d guess that at least 3 of the 4 teens photographed for posterity are sincerely praying daily that none of these pictures will wind up on MySpace or Facebook and thinking that no matter what they got paid for modeling, it wasn’t enough.

    The EX-slave T-shirt can at least be explained by “I got tired of being a bottom, I’ve reinvented myself as a domme”.

  • Alasdair

    Isn’t pretty much *everyone* an ‘ex-masturbator’? Unless you’re doing it right now, of course… it’s like the old joke: “It’s easy to become a non-smoker, I’ve done it hundreds of times. The hard part is staying one.”

  • I think those models are assholes for even being photographed in those shirts.

  • “Ex slave? When I saw that, I was thinking they had a problem with BDSM folk.”

    But, that isn’t what the shirt means? What are they against instead?

  • Erin

    I’m reminded of the old line: “There are two types of people. People who masturbate and people who lie about doing it.”

  • Emmy

    Notice: the only one not smiling is the EX-Masturbator. I wouldn’t be happy about giving up my vibrator for Jesus either.

  • Corruption of LOL

    Ex slave? When I saw that, I was thinking they had a problem with BDSM folk. This probably isn’t too far off the mark, actually: they seem to be against any kind of fun.

  • Charles

    May I suggest adding a rel=”nofollow” attribute to the link? That will prevent google and other search engines from using your link to them to boost their page rank.

  • Chad

    Wow that is funny. I should have a shirt “Once a masturbator always a masturbator.