Great Post: No, iPhone Users Don’t Have More Sex

young Marilyn Monroe 15

Can you imagine AT & T as a sex partner? At the foot of the bed, while you clutch the sheet to yourself in disappointment *again* as they promise you it won’t happen again, I swear, I’ll be able to keep the call up until you’re done, this time I will, I promise.

I’m guessing the whole issue comes down to a lack of mature apps.

Here’s Thomas Roche on the bullshit OkCupid pulled last week with the help of a lot of wishful bloggers, with iPhone Users Do Not Have More Sex:

In case you were wondering, what publicists do all day is think up the kind of shit OK Cupid pulled last week. Reported extensively in a variety of media outlets and geekblogs, the online dating site’s media coup came by saying iPhone users have more sex.

What people who write for geekblogs do all day is sit around and tell themselves that OKCupid says that iPhone users have more sex, presumably because they all have iPhones. This is sort of the techie equivalent of a German sausage maker with a handlebar mustache who stuffs pig entrails with ground meat all day while wearing a “Germans Make the Best Lovers!” wifebeater.

And who knows? Maybe they do. But if I’m that handsome devil’s nightly bed-partner, I don’t need his T-shirt to tell me one way or the other.

Speaking of which, speculating on how much sex people with iPhones have, and what it would be like to be with the kind of cut, built, sweet, hot, well-endowed, obviously brilliant and kinda sensitive sort of person who would own an iPhone seems to have been a favorite sport for quite some time, among people with iPhones.

But I digress. To be more specific, what OKCupid said last week was this (…read more,

More sex partners does not equal more sex, duhhrrr.

Image: Marilyn Monroe via wizardface.

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  • Yes, that too. The whole survey was about self-portraits and number of sex partners; what bugs me still is the measure of more equaling better. Many people have the hottest sex of their lives with consistent partners. So retarded.

    Plus, iPhone users having better sex? Um, not necessarily the ones I know… ;)

  • Oops, I meant *people who take a certain kind of survey and also own an iPhone*…

  • As far as I can see, what they did was find out that *people who take a certain kind of survey* ostensibly have more sex partners. Sheesh.

    Thank you, Violet and Thomas.