It’s just the best no-apologies San Francisco Honda owner motorcycle ad ever pecked out on a keyboard. Excerpted below because things this good just never last… And here you thought the Inception-rimming ad was genius. No so. (thanks, Korntee!)
You are looking at one sexy BBW of a bike. Her name is Bertha and she loves to ride. I bought Bertha a year ago and she has been my moped on steroids. I only ride her around the city when I need to get somewhere fast. She is a k model with an F motor clip ons, two tires the back is new the front needs to be replaced before long. Dual disc up front on this bitch because fat chicks don’t stop on a dime they stop on big wet burritos. One fork seal is blown. Clear coat on the tank is coming off. But just like any hot fat chick you date they have problems so what do you expect? Give her love and she will get you laid. Does she need work? fuck yeah she does but you could ride her for years and only do the bare minimum and she would be fine. Starts up right away on the first time but then she needs to sit there while she gets her juices flowing. compression check was within specifications. Can you fucking believe that? If you are some skinny mission hipster/trustafarian this would be the perfect bike for you to hide your wealth behind, and mitigate your outrageous 5k collection of apple products you can’t even use but to browse the internet and post pics of you facebook playing the same three cord on your guitar with some stupid scarf on your neck. This truly is a poor persons Honda. The only problem with hipsters is you are probably too weak and pot saturated to wield such a big bitch; Hipsters are used to women who starve themselves on cigarettes, cocaine, bottled water, and tofu patties. I think a 50cc Buddy would be really up your ally. If you have any questions let me know. If they are funny and not entirely stupid I may answer. If you actually want to buy this thing I will probably in all likely hood respond. If there are no buyers I will ghost ride this bitch into a wall for 500 and you can video that shit and put it on youtube or digg if you are one of those.
Edit: Sale Pending. And I posted a pic of some of the sweet tang Bertha helped me land. Better hope the buyer doesn’t follow through.