Image by the amazing Stuntkid.
In this week’s column, I explore the (not so) brave new world of New York spa delivered “sperm facials.” It’s called The Skinny on Spermine: Not Exactly Snake Oil – Violet Blue: Straight guys getting sperm facials “for science.” It’s a wrong, wrong, wrong comedy of terrors. Here’s a snip:
I was typing “Spermine sperm facials San Francsico” into Google when I realized what I was doing.
Truthfully, I was trying to see if any local spas were offering Norwegian company Bioforskning’s facial treatment with their product, Spermine. It is touted in magazines and blogs as a revolutionary facial treatment that uses sperm and lasers to induce a more youthful appearance. I’d read journalist Marty Beckerman’s recent article “Spermboarded” where he — a straight male — goes to a New York spa for a sperm facial. When he announced his plans to his girlfriend, he claims she “offered to receive a Spermine facial beside me for emotional support.” His reaction? “No, I don’t want that on your face,” He screamed. “From anyone else, I mean.”
He’d apparently read the New York Magazine blip about the new beauty treatment. Okay, maybe it’s not so new. But two NYC spas offer the treatment (Townhouse Spa: $250 and Graceful Services: $125) and I wanted to know if Spermine had yet made a splash on the Barbary Coast.
Beckerman was unable to get his very entertaining article published. Maybe the inclusion of a YouTube video demonstrating the procedure hampered his offerings on an already-delicate subject. Though Beckerman was not naive about the outrageousness of his own situation, nor immune to the irony that it was self-induced. He wrote,
As promised Anna slathers Spermine all over my face; it doesn’t smell like semen, so that’s nice.
“My parents will be so proud of me when they see this,” I predict.
“Great!” Anna says sincerely. “Probably they would like to come here too!”
“Yeah,” I say, “I’ll buy them… uh… well… Father’s Day is coming up.” (…read more, sfgate.com)