In which we are certain your vagina does not need a breath mint

Image by yasu529.

This is one of those items that does not necessarily have a happy ending, nor give anyone happy face (especially not anyone who deep-sixes a dubious suppository into their precious parts). However, the last word on the topic, provided by longtime friend, colleague and fellow sex educator Charlie Glickman had me rooting like a gothy sex nerd cheerleader from my office chair tonight. (I assisted Charlie in developing and working together in a professional sex ed department for many years.)

Femimint Hygiene: Vagina Mints? Dear Mother Mary with an Altoids fetish, NO! Snip:

(…) So where did the idea for this curiously wrong mint come from? Linger’s website (a little NSFW) offers up a wondrous, romantic tale about the supposed discoverer of femimint hygiene, an unnamed woman who was seduced in India by a man with skin “the color of caramel.” He quelled her fears of tasting bad “down there” with a mysterious, Eastern mint. “When I returned to the States, I brought the tingly sweet tasting mint with me,” she writes. I’ve requested an interview with this mysterious entrepreneur, but have yet to speak with her. However, Linger’s PR guy did send me a sample—made in exotic New Jersey. But that was just my first taste of disappointment.

And then, Dr. Glickman makes us trade our mortification for reason, wit… and something like a slap:

(…) So how does Linger manage to pass off breath mints as vaginal Tic Tacs in $7.99 packs? Despite the salacious creation story and testimonials on its site (“It gets a little warm as it starts to dissolve which took just under an hour. Then, it is SO good!!”), the mint is labeled “for novelty use only.” This is a common practice in the sex-products industry, explains Charlie Glickman, the education program manager at Good Vibrations. It gives manufacturers some cover if something goes awry, he explains. “They could say, ‘It’s just a novelty toy. You weren’t actually expecting to use this were you?'” And if you actually do expect to use Linger to “flavor the woman in a manner that is safe and effective,” be warned: its primary ingredient is sugar, which is not safe for the vagina. It messes up the pH and can lead to a really painful yeast infection, a condition that definitely doesn’t make someone want to “linger.”(…read it all,, thanks Praemedia!)

Share This Post

Post Comment