I have no problem admitting to having sexual fantasies about RealDolls — you know, those freakily realistic sex dolls made of silicone on a metal skeleton, custom-made from templates of eye color, pussy hair styles… etc., etc. They’re strange and otherworldly, and yet, growing up reading Omni magazine and all the sci-fi and horror books…

I’m back home, yay! I had a really great time, and I’ll tell you all about it and post more pics — but I’ve only had three hours of sleep and just want to watch horror movies. Until I’m alive enough to give a full report, enjoy these two sample pics from my four hours…

We Can All Tell She’s Faking It

First, it’s bad, it’s hilarious, it’s the Rotten Dead Pool. Next, I got an email today that is very typical of the type of letters I get (see, they’re not all marriage proposals from oversized Elvis impersonators). I get piles of well-written and articulate letters from oodles of couples (and singles) who are just regular…

If I sit on my suitcase, it’ll close. That’s what I tell myself, looking at the heaping pile of clothing on top of the yawning mouth that should be my easy-trundle case. Normally, even for such a looky-loo faux-glamour event such as AVN I’d not pack as much, but (good news for people who love…

I visited a professional acquaintance at his job the other day, actually I was invited to watch a taping of a locally filmed TV show, and when we had time to chat he told me he’s going to the Adult Video News awards and convention in Las Vegas next week. He seemed excited to "find…

It’s freezing cold here in SF — I hope everyone is having a warm and wonderful, if not sexy and slippery, holiday. Did you catch daddy kissing Santa Claus? Don’t worry — according to experts, straight men can enjoy gay sex guilt free, but only under certain circumstances. Read Bryan Quinn’s Straight Man’s Guide to…

It’s definitely the season of sharing, and I am definitely one excited little elfette. Here’s what kind of email I’m getting: "Just wanted to drop you a line to say I love your work, your website and your blog. I also felt the need to tell you that I have boxed up three dildos, three…

On the main page you can read a bit about how my book party went — great, and I was shocked and surprised to get a visit from Nina Hartley, who it turns out, is a fan of *mine*! Here is how I enjoyed signing books. And last night (it’s 1am Saturday as I write…

Hey, I’ve been selected as a judge for Carly Milne’s (of Pornblography fame) hilarious — yet right on target — First Annual Pornblography Awards. Go ahead, nominate who you think should win "Performer Whose Sex Noises Most Closely Resemble The Sounds Of A Tortured Farm Animal" or "Stupidest Boxcover Misspelling" or "Penis That Should Not…