Today is My Birthday! Viva Me!

After being duly chastised by a trumpet player from the Extra Action Marching Band for not updating my blog ("Just let us know you’re alive!"), I’m back after a couple of weeks of hellish workload, crazy playload, and my best friend’s wedding. First, I received some interesting emails in response to the women and porn…

Penis Enlargement Mafia Vandalism

First, drop everything and read this article about women who watch porn. On Wednesday morning I woke up — early, eech — to go to a Good Vibes meeting and found my car window smashed and my stereo gone. Needless to say, I missed the meeting. The stereo was worth much less than the window,…

Okay, I’m sick and I can’t concentrate, which is a writer’s nightmare, so I decide to go trolling around Amazon to read reader reviews — and to my lucky surprise, this gem was waiting for me in the reviews for The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio: (one star) The marriage bed is undefiled After 18 years…

My pal Thomas Roche (who now has his own hilarious online journal so you too can share his Gothic-tinged pain) sent me this link but it was eaten by monsters. That makes me happy, and happy has been far from me lately as I have been suffering through the most voluptuous headcold I have ever…

I know, this picture looks really freaky. I was cruising through the Exotic Erotic website looking at last year’s pictures — I was there last year on a lark, snuck in, and also snuck backstage — and found this bizarre photo. But what’s even stranger (than me going to Exotic Neurotic?) is that when I…

I love the adorable retro sex site, Lippy Imp — and Lippy loves me back! No more lonely nights, ahhh. Check out the big, fat and happy interview with me on Lippy Imp, which is actually my favorite interview to date. I’ve been interviewed by places as far and wide as Esquire magazine and the…

And I thought Larry Flynt running for governor of my fair native state was cool. Adult supermodel and queen of big-boobie naked jumping jacks Mary Carey is in the running, and with many, er, interesting platforms (and not just of the spike-heeled variety). Along with taxing breast implants, making lap dances tax deductible and a…