* OkCupid’s newest OkTrends survey report is really kind of weird. Anyone else feel uncomfortable at the part where the author calls the Internet a currency of human ignorance – and includes their own database? Ermm…. The Best Questions For A First Date (blog.okcupid.com)
* Are you bisexual if you’ve never acted on it? Great post: Can You Call Yourself X if You’ve Never Y’d? (sexuality.about.com)
* The headline is sensationalist, but the (emergent?) use of squeaky-clean Facebook is interesting: NY hookers cross street from Craigslist to Facebook (The Register)
* I had known the Facebook-CL data came from this Wired article, and though equally as sensationalist, it’s interesting: How Tech Tools Transformed New York’s Sex Trade (Wired.com)
* Because Texas lawmakers are creepy, sick and gross like that: Texas considers law requiring women to see fetus, listen to heartbeat before abortion (thestar.com)
* The lengths people go to say that comprehensive sex education is the root of all evil is… well, kind of evil when it’s presented like this: Margaret Brooks Attacks Sex Ed Again (Charlie Glickman)
* Feeding the stereotypical male identity with the trope that what makes a man into a “real man” is his many conquests: The Finance Guy With a Girl (or Two) Every Night (Daily Intel)
* The largest trans survey of its kind reveals crazy (but sadly believable) stats on trans sex work trans suicide, and everyday rights violations (weird article title): Transgender activists face multiple challenges (breitbart.com)
Image: gratuitous image of Alan Cumming, aka My Favorite Bi, via dlisted.
If you ever plan to seek asylum for persecution of sexual orientation in the Czech Republic, I suppose a bisexual card might come in handy: http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/czech-republic/101209/homosexuality-test-gay-asylum-seekers
But seriously, I find this discussion on the tension over what “bisexual” means really interesting. My LGBT friends seem pretty laid back about the topic—some of us like women exclusively, some like guys, and some both, with some variance between self-description and actions—and I haven’t seen much pressure on the bis to “declare” all the way one or the other. But then I haven’t gone to any rallies or LBGT group meetings or anything, so maybe I just haven’t seen it.
Oh, and can I take Alan Cumming home with me? He can wear a kilt instead, if he’d prefer that to the violin.
Wow… if both Elf and Violet are uncomfortable with the “bi” label, I feel vindicated. I am definitely not straight, and I’m definitely not gay. I call myself “bi,” but that’s largely because people seem to want a label and it’s the only thing I can think to give them. Honestly, I’d be much more comfortable if people didn’t bother with terms at all: you love whom you love is all. In the immortal words of Edna Mode from the Incredibles, “Yes, words are useless! Gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble-gobble! Too much of it, darling, too much!”
We have quite a few people in the Calgary bisexual/pansexual group who are not ‘behaviourally bisexual’ and it’s a really interesting and sometimes intense issue. There’s a lot of pressure from both the gay and the straight communities, and defining what it means to be bisexual (or pansexual, or whatever non-binary thing you are) is not easy. I think it makes sense to sometimes hate being bi, and to struggle with integrating that into your everyday life. Even though I try to advocate loudly for the ability of bisexuals to be in whatever relationship format feels right for them, for me bisexuality “works” best in a poly or non-monogamous relationship and I am really conflicted about how that ties into stereotypes about promiscuous bisexuals.
Well, they still have interesting data sets, they just have a different set of incentives with regard to what they want to share with us about that data.
So they remain like any other source of info on the web … you’ve got to read them with a critical eye and an awareness of what they are selling.
I agree that the buyout has shifted them several large steps further into the “boring corporate” shade, making what they have to say likely to be much less interesting.
You know, I just can’t take anything OKCupid releases anymore seriously after they got bought out by Match.com. Reputation of source is important when sifting info on the internet, and theirs went down the toilet with me when they deleted their “Why paid dating sites don’t work” post.
I think I understand. I’ve always “felt” bi and sometimes acted on bi, but have never had a fully integrated bi life. I tried lesbian, but it was like trying straight. Neither ever quite fully fits – but there’s what I want, and there’s what makes life happy and day-to-day functional, and being loved. I have rad sex with guys, and rad sex with girls and trans people, but the intersection is always… well, it’s not worked yet as an integrated system.
Sometimes I hate being bi. Is that weird to say?
I’m kinda uncomfortable with the label “Bi” these days, despite having written one of the first bisexuality FAQs. I haven’t dated a guy in almost 12 years, not since my kids were born. I miss guys, that way.