Australia is back on the pipe

Image by Tenebras Lux Studios.

What are they smoking Down Under on the censor boards? I mean, it was a mess before, but now it’s looking like… crack. Not the kind of ‘crack’ we like, either.

* I was sent this a few days ago: the top item this week is that Aussie porn gatekeepers hate real female orgasms, and only want to see chicks with big tits. The Australian Classification Board is banning porn with women who have A-cups (they claim itty bitty titties on adult women encourage pedophilia!) and porn that shows female ejaculation, a byproduct of orgasm for some women, stating that it is “an ‘abhorrent’ depiction” and classify it with… urine. Never mind that just last year Anna Span proved to the British Board of Film Classification that female ejaculation is real, natural and not urine — thus lifting their ban on showing this permutation of female orgasm. (,

* The Australian anti-porn brigade must have some really good drug connections, because also this week, a man in Australia was recently convicted for possessing pornographic images depicting characters from The Simpsons and The Powerpuff Girls, and is now a registered sex offender. In this great article by Jacqui Cheng, we learn that Australians should probably just never go on the internet. (

* This is timely: Great Moments in Australian Censorship. (

* Today is the last day of The Great Australian Internet Blackout, a protest of the forthcoming mandatory internet filtering of refused classification content. The government is pushing forward with a plan to force Internet Service Providers to censor the Internet for all Australians. Hmm, what other countries have internet filters? China, Cuba, Egypt, Iran, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Syria… I guess they could always just move to Jordan and have partial filtering and honor killings… (,

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  1. The Australian Censors only want to see Grown Up Looking Ladies in any “adult material”, but can’t bear to see any actual Grown Up Looking Lady vulvas in soft-porn. So any sight of labia minora are routinely “healed to a single crease” to avoid being refused classification. And, as the report below asks, does this misrepresentation of the diversity of appearance in female anatomy (and crappy sex education) account for the rise and rise of labiaplasty?

  2. This censorship doesn’t seem like too much of a shock when we have a prime ministerial candidate who spouts out pearlers like ‘women’s virginity is a gift’, wouldn’t get his own daughters vaccinated against HPV and thinks women should essentially have to prove spousal abuse before they’re given a divorce.

  3. It feels like the USA, but 10 years later. I remember I lived in Cali when they tried to ban porn with women who ‘looked’ under 18, or images of women ‘portrayed as being under 18’ or some such silliness. There are Plenty of laws that the Australian Federal Police use to break up kiddy porn rings, all of this stupidity (filtering, etc) just takes funding away from that valid effort. I don’t hear Any mention of the AFP calling for tougher laws, this is pretty much All pandering to the newly rising Australian Religious Right, yet Another import from the USA. One Australian politician just banned (0 votes against, however some are saying they were misled) Any anonymous political commentary on websites, you had to give your full name and post-code. *rages into the night*

    I wish we could be more selective with what cultural invasions we suffer :(

  4. *chuckles* Well, I’ll leave it up to Violet’s readers whether they would call something that is factually incorrect (Australia is not, presently, banning porn that has women with A-cups) “a little over the top”.

    My point was that Violet is one of the most notable voices for us (yes, “for” us) on these issues, ergo it is important that she gets her facts straight. Moreover, she should not, deliberately or otherwise, counter hysteria with hysteria. This will only cause more reasonable and persuadable folk stop listening and people on our side to catch the hysteria virus, allowing our opponents to cast us as fools. (The fact that Mario above even asked his question, when A-cups are not prohibited, is case in point).

    Thus far, Violet, you are to be commended. I am only interested maintaining your place as our champion.

  5. Wolf, having been involved from the start of this story, I wouldn’t say it’s baseless. While the original headlines about “banning small breasts” was a little over the top, the issue remains. The Australian Classification Board has the power to ban any adult material that features models who “appear to be under 18”. Never mind if she’s a 28 year old consenting adult; if her boobs are small or she’s thin or just looks young, they can ban it and call it child porn. And then arrest the person who took the photo.

    The Board have not expressly said that breast size is never a factor in banning a magazine or movie. They’ve also refused to confirm or deny their stance on female ejaculation. We’re still waiting for their answers to direct questions about this.

    The main point of this whole kerfuffle is not the “banning of small breasts” per se. It’s Australia’s ridiculously vague censorship laws and our lack of a guarantee of free speech in our constitution. It’s also about the knock-on effects of censoring certain sex acts and body types.

    And it’s also about the growing hysteria surrounding child porn – as shown by the story on the second prosecution for looking at dirty Simpsons cartoons – cartoons in which no child was actually harmed.

    In the mad rush to stop people from *thinking* dirty thoughts about children, they’re actually forcing us ALL think that way.

    And the excuse of “protecting the children” to justify censorship is becoming disturbingly common. It’s being used to justify the mandatory internet filter, it’s been used to censor art exhibitions (e.g. Bill Henson) and it’s already been used to restrict how non-porn R-rated films can be displayed in South Australia.

    By the way Violet, here’s two more examples of censorship craziness:

    Abby Winter’s owner to face court in March:

  6. Not sure how I feel about this one. I LIKE WOMEN! Curvy, slender, tall, petite, fair, swarthy, shy, outrageous, WOMEN!

    Last week you posted on CURVY women ( Now you’re complaining because the AU gov’t wants to portray CURVY women?

    Perhaps if some “A” cup models filed discrimination suits … think of the jokes about “handling the cases”. That could get ugly.

    luv the column!

    criolle johnny

  7. Perhaps it’s time to update the parable:

    When ‘they’ attacked homosexuals to ‘protect the children’, I said nothing. I was not a homosexual.

    When ‘they’ attacked sexual health educators to ‘protect the children’, I said nothing. I was not a sexual health educator.

    When ‘they’ attacked Australian women with A cups to ‘protect the children’, I said nothing. I was not an Australian woman with an A cup.

    When ‘they’ attacked female ejaculators to ‘protect the children’, I said nothing. I was not a female ejaculator.

    When ‘they’ attacked internet users to ‘protect the children’, I said nothing. I quit using the internet.

    When ‘they’ attacked me (and took my things) under the guise they were to ‘protect the children’, it didn’t matter what I said. I was alone…

    Without effective accountability and responsible representation, there can be no protection…Only oppression and tyranny.

  8. THANKS for bringing this up! So glad someone from overseas is aware of this stuff. You know it hasn’t been in our media AT ALL? It’s all being swiftly shoved under the carpet and kept in silence so no one can complain. The scary thing is, some people think the whole censorship thing is a GOOD idea?!!

    It truly boggles the mind what is happening to my country. It makes me so angry! My parents escaped communist Romania to bring us to a more fortunate and free nation but now I think Romania is looking better than ever! Heh!

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