Image via.
Oh come on — for these truly freakish news items about churches and porn, you know there were like a million really *bad* posts titles floating around in my head. The kind that make you really mad at me, and laugh just a little, groan painfully, and then withhold your clicks for at least a day. But how can you stay away from insanity like this:
* Gizmodo gives us Priest Infects Church Network By Surfing the Web for Porn [Bad Padre Bad]. A priest in Sweden resigned when he got caught surfing my website porn at his *work* computer — like, DUH! If he’d just surfed my site for a minute he could have learned not to do that and all would be well; the errant servant of God was busted when he unknowingly infected the entire parish network with a virus that smoked the whole holy series of tubes, hopefully not called Holy_Hoses_of_the_Strap_On_Nuns.exe. Why isn’t anyone making “Pastor Downs Network” jokes? Hello!? Is this thing on? You have to have a sense of humor when the piece concludes with, “The powers that be have not yet decided whether a righteous defrocking is in order in this case – a fate avoided by a pastor in Gothenburg who recently “came under scrutiny for moistening post-it notes with his penis and sticking them up in an office” and was allowed to keep his job.” (thanks, Praemedia!)
* Does anyone know what chemicals are released when you burn celluloid? Seems like a really toxic thing to do. But for the 300-member congregation of Members of Christ Church Anglican in Jacksonville, Florida it was a carcinogenic cleansing of the soul when they bought an old drive-in theater, discovered a vault of porn films from the 1970s and 80s — and promptly had a public ceremony burning the historic, archival quality films. (Archivists will cry when they see the photos.) Um, yay. They unspooled the films, doused the antiquities with lighter fluid, and participated in a time-honored ritual act of pointless artistic destruction. What’s even more absurd and really kind of soul-saddening is that “A priest blessed the fire truck to make holy water, and it was the holy water that was used to keep the fire under control. The church plans to renovate the theater and show family movies when renovations are done.” The reverend called it “a “holy hose-down” and said he “… hopes people passing by on busy Blanding Boulevard will stop in and see that Christians are fun.” (thanks, Evil Signtist!)
First, if the fire was doing the holy work of burning the films, shouldn’t the holy water have failed to put out the fire?
Second, priests in South America in “olden times” had entire families on the sly, so what gives with a little web skin?
Third, isn’t that just one of the best photos you’ve seen in a while?
I cannot click through to view horrible burning of film as a library worker and former projectionist. What a waste, that church could have sold the smut for a nice amount or even recycled the material to reclaim the silver nitrate that was used for the tiny sound track space.
I do like the priest blessing the firetruck, I don’t think I’ve seen that in a vampire flick.
in re: post its
Did they mean the priest had little pieces of paper and then made glue to stick them on the wall? I bet that would stick!
Now correct me if I’m wrong, I thought the whole point of post it notes was that they already had a glue on the back so that they stuck? Then Moistening them with his penis. Maybe I’m a freak but my cock doesn’t resemble a dogs nose when it comes to moisture most of the time. And anyway I wouldn’t risk getting a paper cut there.
Damn you Violet, you’ve made my mind wander ( a dangerous thing to happen) and now you have to deal with the product. A question.
Can old gay men use preparation H as a lube and kill 2 birds with one stone?