Sex Resources and Linklove

Sexual health and emotional support resources, hand-picked erotic entertainment websites and much more.

These links are carefully vetted, examined and regularly checked and maintained. They are the real deal; they are my personal selections. Tiny Nibbles does not accept payment for endorsements, reviews, or editorial link placement. I always disclose when I’m writing about someone who is an affiliate or sponsor. Websites I affiliate with are personal friends, sites that are respectful and tasteful, and have brands and images I have decided reflect my values and the sophisticated values of my readers, viewers and listeners. I consider them the cream of the crop.

I do not link to sites that sell sex products known to be harmful, so if your site carries “Anal-Eze” or vaginal shrink creams don’t even ask me to look at your site. Read my sexual safety section about unsafe products if you are unsure. I also believe that free sex information and free porn is everyone’s right, and is a positive sexual tool for education, arousal, overcoming inhibitions and self-exploration. If a site I link to has a pay section, I promise there will certainly be some other merit to make it worth your while.

Quick jump to categories: life-saving resources * smart porn for smart people * sex culture, sex news and sex webzines * friends * sex stores for discriminating shoppers

Webmasters, bloggers, PR people, salespeople and startups: I consider “link trades” unethical so don’t even bother asking for a reciprocal link simply for the sake that you have linked to me. On the other hand, I love tips about finding cool new stuff and you can let me know about neat, smart, sophisticated things in the world of erotica and porn by dropping me an email: violet @ tinynibbles dot com.

Do you have a sex, sexual health or sexual identity question? Know someone who does? These carefully screened websites have answers:

AIM Healthcare is where sex workers and porn performers go when they need STD and HIV tests, counseling of all kinds, and help navigating the world of adult — it’s a maverick, breakthrough organization, providing a necessary resource for a previously ignored workforce. AIM not only provides resources and help, but they raise awareness about health and safety for the adult industry and beyond. Get info about testing and more, or just give your tax-free donations to one of the best causes in the world.

American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists This is just what the name says: if you need a counselor or someone to talk to, don’t troll Google, use this amazing resource to help you navigate the many choices out there to find what’s right for your situation.

Centers for Disease Control: Sexually Transmitted Diseases Facts and Information Government site for official, up-to-date information about STD’s and HIV.

The Center for Sex and Culture is a San Francisco based outlet for events, classes and sexual culture; check their calendar if you’re in town.

Coming out: or if you know someone who needs to — or just did — reveal their sexual orientation to you: The Human Rights Campaign has this great resource page with tips on coming out for all sides of the equation. Direct answers to questions about coming out are here (glbtnationalhelpcenter.org).

Erotica Readers & Writers Association makes being an erotic writer and editor — and publisher — great. Community, resources, advice, information, calls for submissions and much much more. If you write or edit, check it out.

Gay Lesbian International Therapist Search Engine – Find professional counselors who are sensitive to gay and lesbian issues. Not all the therapists are themselves gay or lesbian. Also recommended: Gaylesta.

Generation Five For survivors of sexual abuse, sexual trauma, incest, rape, and people who love someone who is a survivor, this is truly a life-saving resource. And it’s sex-positive; heal and live your life while having a sex life, too. All genders and orientations welcome. Read my helpful interview with the founder in the San Francisco Chronicle (sfgate.com): From sexual trauma to healing sex – Author Staci Haines opens up to Violet Blue about sexual healing after incest, rape or abuse

GLBT National Help Center The GLNH is an all-volunteer, nonprofit organization. They provide telephone info, email info, referrals, & peer counseling for the GLBT communities. They have over 18,000 listings for the entire US, including groups, organizations, business, bars, doctors, lawyers, therapists, etc.
Hours: M-F 4pm-Midnight, Sat noon-5pm (EST). (888) THE-GLNH, (888) 843-4564

The Guide to Getting It On! is my favorite all-around sex book, covering everything from sex and pregnancy to sex and disability, sex positions — practically everything (for heterosexual couples) imaginable. Their web site mirrors the casual and fun tone of the book, but also has tons of info in columns about sexual health, and sex and disability resources.

Herpes and HPV support groups, information and dating advice: Three highly reputable websites are on San Francisco Sex Information’s Herpes/HSV + HPV page.

Good Vibe’s Sexy Mama’s This is a commercial and shopping website from retailer Good Vibrations, but contains good book recommendations about sex and pregnancy/parenting, and a blog with informative posts.

HIV Testing: National (American) HIV Testing Resources — Locate a HIV testing center anywhere in the US.

ISIS-Inc A fabulous online service dedicated to innovative strategies and high-tech solutions for sexual health education and STD/HIV prevention, with a focus on tech and getting accurate info to youth.

The Kinsey Institute Dedicated to research, scholarship, plus events and a gallery.

Magnet is a San Francisco based gay men’s sexual health clinic, and it’s awesome.

The Midwest Teen Sex Show A fun, rambunctious video podcast by a very cool mom that covers all kinds of sex topics, and gets the conversation started with parents and especially for teens. Highly recommended. Read my interview with the show’s host and founders in the San Francisco Chronicle (sfgate.com): That Midwest Teen Sex Show – Violet Blue talks to controversial video bloggers who talk to kids about sex

Miss Vera’s Finishing School for Boys Who Want To Be Girls Transgender male-to-female and cross-dressing resource: this is the pink taffeta spawn of Miss Veronica Vera, who has run the world’s first and only actual finishing school for boys who want to be girls, and has authored two of the finest how-to books on cross dressing in print. Her site is a gateway to the academy, but is also a fantastic resource. She has oodles of links and recommendations, and there’s even an option for phone lessons available on a variety of crossdressing subjects.

Moms in Babeland Are you a mom, about to be one, and want to have sex? Some people would prefer to act like you don’t exist. This fantastic blog is by sex toy retailer Babeland (disclosure: one of my sponsors) — however it is not a commercially-focused resource. Instead, it’s a resource-focused resource. It covers questions, topics, sex and parenting in pop culture, recommendations and much much more, written by four women who work as sex educators at Babeland and are moms. YAY!

National Coalition for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth – News, FAQs, outreach and support for queer and questioning teens.

National Sexuality Resource Center A collection of online sexual lifestyle magazines chock full of mainstream sex content that isn’t full of stereotypes and typical Cosmo-Maxim sex garbage. Fun stuff, yet academic, and they’re deeply invested in advancing sexual literacy. They have an incredible religion and sexuality resource page. Also en Espanol at SexualidadesLatinas.org.

PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) – (415) 921-8850 (San Francisco), (202) 467-8181 (National)

Planned Parenthood STD testing information, nationally. Learn about sexual health, news, and refer your Spanish-speaking friends to PP’s site. Go here for up to date, factual safer sex info — I do not recommend Wikipedia because the safer sex page is constantly updated with factual errors and is subject to edit wars so can not be trusted as a permanent source of accurate safer sex info.

Queer Net Chat, message boards, discussions, and you can create your own discussions in this huge global network.

San Francisco Sex Information I can’t recommend this resource highly enough. Info on SFSI’s classes and their hotline for sex information (415) 989 SFSI. They also do email hotline info — drop them a line and ask them a question!

Scarleteen Very cool site of sex info for teens.

SIECUS (Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States) The name says it all.

Society for Human Sexuality They have a vast resource here: guides, reviews, and much more. Simply amazing.

The Abortion Gang An incredible collection of women from 16-60 who have all come together online to focus new media resources for a pro-choice resource. Not always what you think it is, they share stories about abstinence, deadbeat dads and abortion rights, talking to people who are anti-choice and much more. Fantastic.

Transgender Forum This is the heart of all resources for (primarily) male-to-female trans info, advice, community and resources. I’ve learned a lot here and my trans friends and family swear by it.

Transsexual Hormone Therapy FAQ Very matter of fact, it’s a resource many FTM people find helpful.

The Trevor Project is the leading national accredited organization focused on crisis and suicide prevention efforts among lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth. (866) 488-7386

How we all react to sexually explicit imagery varies from person to person. There are more kinds of porn and erotica than anyone can imagine: if you see something you don’t like, click away but don’t think it’s all the same. Be a smart porn shopper: if you hate it click away, but if you like it, then enjoy it as you would your favorite sex toy. Never assume you know what’s going on in the images you see. Most of all, enjoy your fantasies to their fullest and decide for yourself what you think about your relationship with explicit imagery. This is my personal handpicked list: I screen for quality, privacy, tastefulness, enjoyment of the performers, ethics of the creators and focus on female pleasure. Hope you like my picks.

Free video and clip sites (garden-variety porn): Cliphunter, Empornium (torrent), PornoTube, SublimeMovies, YouPorn (recommended), RedTube, XTube

Adult DVD Talk Read reviews of porn films by thousands of reviewers, review a title you’ve seen, or jump into the forums with other viewers, porn stars and filmmakers. Best of all (to me), is that reviews are not accepted by people in the industry and you can review any title you rented, anywhere, anytime. Many reviewers and forum moderators are women.

Altporn When someone makes hip, popular porn that doesn’t fit the blonde Barbie going-through-the-motions mold and feature a variety of hot tattooed young women *actually* having fun with sex and smiling a lot, we have exactly the kind of porn featured on Altporn’s blog. And here we never see the homophobic, natural-body-phobic, fun-phobic mainstream porn industry attitudes. Which suits them (and me) just fine. Seriously yummy gallery links (to alt paysites) are found here, with a nice bit of humor.

Andrew Blake Very high-end, extremely popular, gloriously glossy and exquisite erotic porn. Read my interview with the creator in the San Francisco Chronicle (sfgate.com): The Helmut Newton of Porn – Violet Blue interviews erotic filmmaking legend Andrew Blake

Anna Span’s Diary Female U.K. porn filmmaker Anna Span’s fun site. Read my interview with the groundbreaking British female director creator in the San Francisco Chronicle (sfgate.com): In The U.K., Female Ejaculation Is Not Obscene – Violet Blue: Woman porn maker Anna Span challenged the British Board of Film Classification over a controversial sex act, and won. See her films directly on Hot Movies For Her: Women Love Porn – Anna Span.

Candida Royalle / Femme Productions New York based female director Royalle has a whole huge catalog of women-directed porn films that have something for everyone on offer. She also has an excellent, highly-recommended line of ergonomic vibrators.

Christine Kessler’s Fetish Diary If rubber and extreme fetish fashion (and refined fetish BDSM predicaments) are your flavor, look no further than the high-end world of photographer Christine Kessler. These are fetishes galore for wealthy people who like outrageous stuff, and Kessler (who did the Best Women’s Erotica 2009 book cover for me) captures it all.

Cinema Erotique What happens when a woman builds a hetero, female-focused porn empire, takes fantasy and fetish suggestions and makes them into movies using gorgeous British male and female models, and gives it all a playful, sexy twist? You get this superlative site, much loved across the Internet. Yay!

Comstock Films This is the brainchild of maverick porn maker Tony Comstock and his wonderful wife — the very same company that brought us the first revolution in hot, true-love, couple’s porn, “Marie and Jack: A Hardcore Love Story.” They’ve got new films coming out regularly that are shot in remarkably high quality, so visit and see what they’re up to. TC’s blog is fantastic.

Crash Pad Series This is some hot, authentic, original indie porn — made by women (and they’re mostly women of color). It’s an ongoing series where characters pass around keys to a “crash pad” for anonymous sex in a San Francisco apartment, which is filmed from a voyeuristic point of view. This site has a loyal following of lesbians and straight men alike.

Cult Epics Vintage porn and erotica is a great place to start — or stay a while and enjoy yourself. Cult Epics is a find-and-a-half for people seeking to purchase sophisticated porn, especially vintage explicit erotic films. This site has vintage porn from the 1930s and ’40s restored on DVD, right along with Maria Beatty’s black and white modern classics and many uncut (explicit) films by Caligula director Tinto Brass. They’re also building their cult/horror sections, and often have shipping specials.

Divine Bitches The best FemDom site on the web, and then some! I love this site run by a super-sexy powerful woman, her dominating sexy female cohorts, and the handsome men they erotically torture — they train houseboys, and sometimes play a wicked game of “bend over boyfriend” to finish the scene. Very high production values, and the men really get punished — with clear consent. Fans of the “clothed female, naked male” fetish will love this, and while it’s a paysite, it has plenty of explicit free porn to get you going.

The East Van Porn Collective “A thought-provoking and genre-bending look behind the scenes of what might be the world’s only underground DIY anarcho-feminist porn collective.”

Evil Angel Sometimes extreme hardcore, even with female directors: EA is home to one of my all-time favorite porn directors John Leslie (wonderful all-sex films with all-natural European amateurs), and their copious, free trailers (and video podcasts) are extremely explicit yet a fantastic resource if this is what you’re looking for.

Explicite Art I was delighted to discover this French explicit porn site. The performers are having fun, we see a lot of safer sex, it’s all well shot and for those looking to see very explicit sex with the lightest possible dash of kink — but mostly good, old-fashioned het adventures that include threesomes of varying combinations — this website is a breath of fresh air. Enjoy the free fruits of my research to find us all some good quality European pr0ns.

Fatale Media The makers of some of the finest independent lesbian porn available and they carry many lesbian classics. Nan Kinney, one of the founding publishers of On Our Backs magazine, is the president of Fatale Media and producer of Fatale videos. They are primarily geared toward lesbians, yet include “other adventurous souls,” and one of their best-selling releases is Bend Over Boyfriend.

For The Girls I *heart* Ms. Naughty and her blog, and store, and general kick-ass attitude toward porn for women. Indy-owned and the largest porn for women empire on the Internet. Heterosexual focus, includes erotica, porn, galleries and more.

Fucking Machines Yes, it’s the famous site where fierce local San Francisco girls have screaming, ecstatic orgasms at their own hands using modified machines — it’s amazing. A paysite with lots of hot freebees, and new machines being invented all the time.

Girlfriend Handjobs This site is fantastic for so many reasons: real couples that are attractive, genuine chemistry, and a focus on not only the sexual interaction and clearly enjoyable control the women takes of their boyfriends’ pleasure, but the focus on playing with hot men. Nice.

Girls Out West I can’t recommend this Australian, women-run adult site highly enough. Very high quality, lots of super-hot couplings (hetero and girl-girl), they make it seem like Australia is full of gorgeous men and women, and that sex with an Aussie is fun, fun, fun. Their site is easy to use and they prize privacy. Superb!

Hot Movies for Her A full porn shopping theater curated by women, for women — with a wide range of tastes, from mainstream to outsider. The porn loving women at Hot Movies got tired of having no place in the adult market (or having the market treat them like they only watched what their boyfriends cajoled them into watching). So they actively handpick through the largest online adult library to find the best movies: straight, lesbian, bisexual, gay, trans… An unbelievable selection. Pick your porn preference in their specialty theaters or browse the full collection in their main theater. Watch videos online discreetly with no monthly or recurring charges. Pay as you go. They also have a blog featuring reviews, tips, stories, interviews and more.

I Shot Myself Women-run, Australian amateur website under that features women of all (hot) varieties making their own explicit photo shoots. Very yummy, lots of hot free content, and there are some really nice, smart and articulate women behind this enterprise.

I Feel Myself The same women who run I Shot Myself have this tasteful, sexy and really fabulous Aussie amateur video masturbation website: I know women and men who know where to find free porn but pay for this site, and this site alone. High quality and tasteful, with regular free content.

Juliland Juli Ashton’s outrageously polished porn site. I spent a lot of time there — do look at the free movies. Juliland has been around for a few years, though recently the site and all the ancillary media has gotten really slick — no DRM on the videos, among many other nice touches. Ashton is a smart and powerful woman who runs the site hands-on, and graduated from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco. The shoots are entirely comprised of remarkable women doing really wonderfully dirty things, and include Aria Giovanni, Dita Von Teese, Kim Kane, Bobbi Starr, Charlotte Vale, Dana DeArmond, Jada Fire, Justine Joli and a lot of other beauties.

Kink.com This is the premiere kinky, BDSM and fetish online porn and erotica empire. They have over a dozen different high-end websites with tastes from the mild to the extreme, and many of their websites are (surprisingly) run, scripted and directed by women. I’ve been there many times to have lunch with the staff: they’re diverse, sex-positive and while the porn looks extreme, all of the scenes are the performers’ fantasies. Their safety rules and regulations are outstanding. And their kinky porn is… incredible.

Maria Beatty Her independent, lesbian and fetish-focused S/M films are breathtaking and win awards at film festivals, and her site is a feast for the eyes. See what’s new, view stills and more. Gorgeous!

Met Art Fine art nudes at their very best, shot all over Europe by top photographers. This is what men’s magazines aspire to be, but don’t have the taste, beauty or courage to show it all like the award-winning Met Art does. This is one of the most popular high-end pinup sites in the world.

Next Door Hookups A very tasty, hetero amateur paysite with plenty of freebees — but most notably, it’s straight porn shot from a gay male perspective so the focus is on the (good looking) amateur guys. What does straight porn with real-life, attractive couples look like? Refreshing and arousing.

Public Disgrace The brainchild of dominatrix Princess Donna, she takes public and group sex to the highest level. She works closely with the women to tailor their extreme fantasies and make them come true for the camera in the safest way, even if it feels like edgy ‘reality’ hardcore. It’s not for beginners, but if bondage, public scenes (carefully staged), group sex and female domination of female submissives is your taste, this site is it.

Pure CFNM The acronym “clothed female, naked male” tells you what the scenarios are: women with their clothes on, totally in charge of men they get to strip and perform sex acts purely for the amusement and pleasure of the women. Sometimes one women, but often several women and one lucky guy — or a guy in a whole lot of playful trouble. Pure CFNM is the best of its kind online, and hails from the U.K.

Sapphic Erotica No kink (unless strap-ons and occasional back door play is your kink), no bondage, seldom any tattoos or piercings — simple, playful, orgasm-filled girl-on-girl action is at Sapphic. Occasionally the marketing text is annoying and lame, but this site is the best I’ve found and enjoyed for watching young women having sex and nothing but sex with each other.

Seska For Lovers Seska is a cute, sweet and smart girl who loves making (and finding) hot porn. It’s also the lovely Seska’s personal blog. We met recently and I just can’t say enough nice things about her and her mission to spread good porn.

Stagg Street Famous for her work as an erotic photographer starring in a reality web series for IFC — The Stagg Party — Ellen Stagg has a vast catalog of gorgeous, highly arousing galleries of the most beautiful adult and indie models in the business. The way she shoots them is a huge turn-on (especially when it’s two girls together), and she loves her ongoing work so much that she constantly blogs about how much fun she has on her latest projects.

Stroke That Dick Straight amateur boys making money masturbating for the camera, solo — incredibly enjoyable.

Vivid Alt The mainstream porn’s rogue division makes some of the hottest porn around with a growing stable of art-focused directors and their site has all kinds of goodies. Love it.

Safe Porn Surfing Resources: Bumpercar (smart, parent-moderated web filter to keep kids away from porn), Firefox, Extended popup blocking, Pornzilla

Sex journalism is still an emergent field; pioneered by sites like Nerve, it’s taken a while for real writing and reporting about sex to gain acceptance in mainstream culture. The Internet has changed the space by giving people a choice between sensationalistic, one-sided news and culture info about sex — and real, non-biased, fresh, and much more interesting examinations of sexuality. These are me favorite sex news, sex culture and sex “magazine” sites.

Asian Sex Gazette The moment I found this gem I was hooked: up to the minute sex news from Asia that keep us fascinated with sex and Asian culture. Really great site, I visit regularly.

Carnal Nation Gone but not forgotten — they are sadly now closed. They were one of the best online sex and culture news sources, period. No judgment, and fantastic features. Highly recommended — you can still find great articles about things like autism and sex, and more.

Clean Sheets Calendar, and higher-brow articles, erotica on a lovely site.

ErosBlog There are many erotic blogs on the web, but few are as consistently amusing as ErosBlog. I love visiting for the hilarious commentary, the weird pictures, and sometimes utter exasperation at how truly bizarre the world can be — and I love the casual style and tone. Visit regularly, and not only will you have a more skewed view of the world, but you’ll have strange pictures to show your friends and links aplenty to free porn. I visit daily.

Jane’s Guide This is the absolute clearinghouse for sex sites on the web, with a vast listing of reviews and each site personally reviewed by an actual human being — a woman named Jane who is really smart and very cool. They don’t hold back with praise or matter-of-fact descriptions, and it’s a great place to find everything reviewed including quality amateur porn, birth control, safer sex, web cams, corsets and more. Free, with lots of free sites, though many listed sites require fees/memberships — but it’s nice to know what you’re getting into before you pay for porn.

3xL: Lust, Love & Latex You just have to check out this fetish blog, because even if you’re not into fetish or rubber, they have a great blog, notify about worldwide events, and continually posts all manner of bizarre sex links and pretty rubber stuff to buy.

Savage Love (podcast, blog, column). My friend Dan could go in any of these categories, but I’ll put him in the top one where he belongs. Irreverent and accurate, he’s one of the best educators of our time.

Sex In The Public Square Active on current sex topics, big on building community, eroticism and occasional snarkiness, this is one of my new favorite regular haunts.

Sex and Blogs They’ve got it going on with a variety of contributors and a black sense of humor with this international sex, erotic art and culture blog. Fantastic.

Sexual Intelligence with Dr. Marty Klein Sex and politics with a direct approach: his blog is a nice way to keep your sex news feed current and opinionated.

Sex or Not? A very eclectic and endlessly fascinating sex art and entertainment blog in another language, which of course, makes it even more fun.

Sexoteric A very eclectic and entertaining mix of explicit imagery, art, and occasional poetry. They catch some good stuff there.

Slashdong Geek sex toy hacker qDot blogs about sex and technology from a smart, down-to-earth, open-source POV, making this site seem like it’s sent from the future. Funny, cool and the cutting-edge source for sex, tech and open source teledildonics (and much more).

The Sex Carnival This woman-run and multi-women authored blog is high on my most-reputable list of resources, covering sex news, sexual health, toy reviews, weekly curations of excellent sex blog writing from people having lots of crazy sex and much more. It’s addictive, proudly New York based, and run by super-smart, sex positive sex educators. Can you tell how much I love it!?

Unscathed Corpse Here is one of my very favorite visually focused fetish blogs. Unscathed delivers art, latex fashion, strange and bizarre links, sublime photo galleries of fetish babes and so much more.

World Sex News Dry but a content mine for sex stories, this blog has been around for ages, chronicling not just up-to-the minute sex news from around the world, but also current sex info from around the world. Find sex events and festivals listings worldwide (planning any trips?!), and more.

I have a lot of friends and this section is constantly growing. Separating them out from the sites above is difficult and there is a lot of overlap: many of the sites in my other linklove sections are run by friends of mine. And they all make me very proud. I have a *ton* of friends in the tech world, but to list them below would make this page hyooge… So let’s stick to sex, shall we? :)

Alison Tyler Tyler’s erotica is pretty much the hottest thing going on in the world of female-focused, women-authored explicit erotic fiction and she’s always having fun contests and giveaways. I’m a big fan — her stories never fail to arouse and engage both my brain and my many other erogenous zones. This is also the site for her publishing house, Pretty Things Press.

Dr. Carol Queen Renowned sexologist Dr. Queen is pioneer, public speaker, sex educator, sexual revolutionary, advice columnist and pleasure activist. She is also a personal friend and one of my sex advice resources.

Dave Naz Incredible and completely adventurous erotic photographer (of the hardcore variety) — his blog never lets me down. And he’s sweet and soft-spoken and has tons of humility.

Dr. Ducky Doolittle: The Site of Sexual Curiosities Sexy, brainy, a sex educator, author and a fetish model? Wow, what a combo! Ducky teaches sex ed classes, dresses like a naughty clown and sits in cakes and has provocative ideas about art and culture.

Eon McKai Is one of my closest friends, period. He is a very art-minded porn director that has changed the pace of moderm porn forever, and it was about time. Like me, he loves the foreplay part of porn more often than the sex-by-the-numbers that usually follows. He mixes real altporn performers with garden-variety porn stars and comes up with really interesting results, even though the sex usually (but not always) follows the same formulas seen in typical porn productions. He loves to bring in art school costumers, street artists, undiscovered musicians and beautiful, intelligent women who typically later go on to direct their own films.

The Extra Action Marching Band Over thirty members in various states of undress, cross-dress and egress comprise this renegade marching band, complete with a full horn section, drum corps, pep squad dressed as kinky cheerleaders and a flag team of men and women who perform overtly sexual, explicit choreographed routines. What they do to music is simply pornographic.

Gala Darling Miss Gala is a lethal cocktail of sex, style, ultra-fashion and wit. Sip and enjoy at your own risk.

Jiz Lee Seen as a rising star sex art performer, straddles sex and gender lines boldly, is a tech nerd and utterly fantastic.

Laughing Squid isn’t a sex blog, but *is* an essential culture blog for your bookmarks (full disclosure: I am an LS guest blogger). Sweet Scott Beale is a friend and co-conspirator about all things tech and community and is one of the best photographers around. Plus, if you dig around the site you’ll see what an amazing (and truly innovative) underground arts and events resource it is.

Lou Paget Best-selling author of The Big O, How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure, and How to be A Great Lover. Her site features the latest toys and updated information on her popular sex seminars.

Pucker Up Sex educator, porn director and all-around sex expert Tristan Taormino’s fantastic website and blog. She directs numerous hardcore sex-ed videos and a fantastic reality porn series called “Chemistry” that is all about performers who live out their fantasy sex (with each other, hence the name ‘chemistry’) for the camera. She’s also produced several female performers who have become directors in their own right, empowering stuff.

Rachel Kramer Bussel Few blogs are as consistently entertaining and informative about what it’s like to be a sexy sassy sex writer as this one. Updated regularly, it’s really fun to keep up with Bussell, especially because she’s like the Hedda Hopper of the sex writing biz.

Steve Diet Goedde An outrageously talented fetish photographer, good friend and seriously sweet guy.

Susan Mernit Very active in tech, and a wide breadth of sex in the blogosphere, Susan is a prize, sweetheart and sublime critic. Yahoo Personals is extremely lucky to have her in charge.

Too Beautiful, The Blog is Mark Pritchard who’s one of my favorite erotica authors; his blog is an addictive little daily read featuring his interviews with fellow writers, commentary on culture and politics, especially follows (and leads, and participates in) the lit blog crowd, and generally offers up all the things we love about blogs: life through the filter of a funny, smart and cool personality.

Thomas Roche One of my favorite erotica authors and a writer who can actually make a crime noir erotica short story sexually graphic and laugh-out-loud funny. He’s a very bad man who needs to be punished by gang of cranky women in Catholic schoolgirl uniforms.

Waking Vixen Audacia Ray is insanely hot, outrageously smart and one of the most gifted sex writing bloggers out there; it’s really easy to get hooked on her sexually graphic, politically opinionated, highly personal and thought-provoking blog.

Adam and Eve While my small-business-owned supporters will cringe that I am including what they see as the Blockbuster of sex toy retail, I feel that Adam and Eve deserves props because they historically fought anti-adult prosecutors in court so that companies can legally sell butt plugs in the mail, and because they have a decent video selection. Mail-order catalog and web site of toys, books, videos, DVDs, safer-sex supplies, and lingerie, with a heterosexual focus — they even have online personal ads for customers and the web site has a Spanish option. Double-check the privacy policies as you order.

Alcova With a website and a brick-and-mortar store in Rome, Italy, Alcova is a reputable fetish and BDSM shop that offers BDSM gear, clothing, sex toys, and even sex furniture. Website is in Italian.

A Woman’s Touch Women owned Madison, WI store of adult products focused towards women.

Babeland Seattle, Los Angeles and Manhattan stores that are women-focused and provide classes along with toys, books and videos. Great staff!

Babes ‘n Horny Small and women-owned, this is a super-fab London sex toy store with an excellent online shop; women-friendly, with a superlative selection of really cool and unusual sex toys.

Blissbox This is a London-based web site and mail order company that offers videos and DVD’s, sex toys and accoutrements, and possibly one of the best adult video review databases around. The site is smooth, incredibly well designed and easy on the eyes, they provide fan information on porn stars, and the site’s sex tips are accurate and to the point. Videos and toys paired together are a perfect combination, and Blissbox knows it, and the tone of the site is healthy, nonjudgemental, supportive and encouraging. They have a strict and simple privacy policy.

Blowfish This small San Francisco based web company has a loyal customer following, personally selects and reviews the finest — and funniest — sex toys, books and videos, and they carry edgy stuff that the other “safer” women-owned sex toy shops won’t. But everything is rigorously tested, so quality (and happy Blowfishes) are assured.

Coco de Mer This is one of the absolute sexiest, classiest high-end erotic emporiums in the world. They have gorgeous, glorious shops in the US and UK.

Come As You Are Toronto, Canada sex toy store dedicated to accurate sex info. If you go there, pay them a visit!

Condomania I love Condomania — fifty sizes of condoms and a printable measuring chart! The site is fun, has weird new products and news.

Eve’s Garden New York based toy store for women.

Forbidden Fruit Austin, TX store of toys, novelties, BDSM gear, and community info.

Gamelink The biggest selection of porn for sale (and most diverse) VoD and pay per minute, and they carry Vivid Alt

JT’s Stockroom Attention kinky shoopers! JT’s has kinky toys and wicked-sexy photos of almost all their products in action.

Le Boudoir is the Spanish woman’s answer to a female-friendly, smart and sexy online sex shopping experience — from Spain, they are a fabulous resource. Lovely; website is in Spanish.

Libida is a woman-run online store with an ever-changing lineup of toys, books and videos and all sorts of features, specials and other goodies — like free erotic galleries and dirty stories, nicely done.

LoveHoney I love LoveHoney! is one of my favorite UK-based online sex shops!

Lust is a women-run, women-focused online sex boutique from Denmark, with a lovely site and fantastic selection. Site is in Danish.

Madame S and Mr. S High-end fetish fashion and BDSM gear and toys from mild to — unbelievable. Great people, incredible products that they stand behind and they love privacy…

Pleasure Chest Retail stores (NY, LA, Chicago), gorgeous website and catalog of novelties, toys, videos, and clothing. When I cold-called them for undercover research on my video book, they were incredibly nice, helpful and very knowledgeable about their straight and gay video selection (sales only, no rentals).

Purple Passion Online catalog of fetish fashions and gear.

Second Sexe French website, erotic boutique and resource for women-positive, feminist-identified products and porn. Lovely site, lots to choose from (site is in French).

Womyn’s Ware Women-focused Vancouver store with toys, books and novelties.

Yoba A gorgeous online women’s sex toy boutique, with sex toys, lingerie and their own beautiful sex magazine. I wish American sex toy boutiques looked and felt like this (site is in French).

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I'm Violet Blue: author, sex educator, blogger, podcaster, GETV reporter, The San Francisco Chronicle's sex columnist, robotic artist, and a Forbes Web Celeb. Writing: Forbes, O: Oprah Magazine, RH Reality Check, and bestselling, award-winning author/editor of over 2 dozen books, 5 translations. Lectures: Cyberlaw class at UC Berkeley (Boalt), ETech, SXSWi, crisis counselors at community teaching institutions and Google Tech Talks. Podcast: Open Source Sex: Wired, Newsweek (MSNBC), The Wall Street Journal. Tech blog: techyum. DRM-free audio + ebooks: Digita Publications. I also blog at art machines and vbsf (Violet Blue's San Francisco). I am: violet at tinynibbles dot com. Represented: ICM.

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