Do women like porn? Is there really “porn for women?”
Do women read sex blogs, cruise porn sites and watch sexually explicit videos for their own pleasure?
The answer is yes to all of these questions.
You may have a lot of questions about women and porn: I have a lot of well-researched answers. This page is a great place to start, and there is a lot more information at Our Porn, Ourselves. Read the origins and pro-women, pro-porn principles. This website is a resource that aims to create an alternative and constructive conversation on the use of pornography by women, and in turn offer balance to the anti-porn feminist agenda.
Women enjoy porn and erotica of all kinds, and it’s a fact – don’t listen to sensationalists who would like to convince you otherwise. On this website, in articles further down this page and in my book on women and porn I explain how to find good porn, what kind of porn women like and don’t like (you’ll be surprised), the degradation question, how to avoid horrifying boob jobs in your porn, and more.
My blog – here on Tinynibbles – is for the savvy porn shopper. I talk about why porn sucks, I find porn where all the hot guys are, and offer a huge amount of information about online porn, RSS, online video, porn podcasts, safe porn surfing, oodles of links to hot free porn sites, grrrl-positive online porn review forums, and how to shop for porn (and watch it) with a lover.
Answers to many of your questions – from finding hot porn to dealing with getting grossed out by stuff we don’t want to see, to the “degradation” myths and more – are in a book I wrote, The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn (also: UK). Read the table of contents here; listen to the introduction as I read it in my podcast Open Source Sex #41; hear it right now with this link (MP3).
Read what a woman needs to know for her first times exploring pornography in this excerpt from my book The Smart Girl’s Guide To Porn published on The Oprah Winfrey website: Chapter 3: I Was a Porn Virgin.
After reading Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn, Wired said: “Her focus on answering common questions — What if you don’t look like a porn star? Why does the guy always ejaculate on the woman? How do they do it with those fingernails? — and her emphasis on giving the reader the tools to discover and find her own porn is more valuable than a list of recommended titles. I’m no newbie and I learned something; the book will be eye-opening for many women and probably some men, too. Meanwhile, Violet’s enthusiasm for porn inspired me to put the effort into finding adult content that I genuinely like, rather than settling for what’s easy to find. That’s a smart girl.”
- Not sure where to start in exploring porn? Start with this guide for women who are interested in watching explicit erotic imagery – or have never seen porn.
- Safe porn surfing resources include: Bumpercar Web Browser (smart, parent-moderated web filter to keep kids away from porn), Firefox, Pornzilla, and of course AdBlockPlus, Disconnect, Ghostery and EFF’s Privacy Badger. Read my privacy book, seriously.
- Stay safe and protect your privacy when you surf for porn on the web: read my Porn Privacy and Safety Guide.
Hot porn websites that women especially enjoy:
- Abby Winters This awesome amateur (and professional/amateur) site prides itself on all-natural performers and authentic encounters — and they deliver. Originally from Australia and now based in Holland, the site is a nonstop source for real people having real sex, and they have a very active online community.
- Andrew Blake Very high-end, extremely popular, gloriously glossy and exquisite erotic porn. Read my interview with the creator in the San Francisco Chronicle (sfgate.com): The Helmut Newton of Porn – Violet Blue interviews erotic filmmaking legend Andrew Blake
- Anna Span’s Diary Female U.K. porn filmmaker Anna Span’s fun site. Read my interview with the groundbreaking British female director creator in the San Francisco Chronicle (sfgate.com): How Anna Span challenged the British Board of Film Classification over a controversial sex act, and won. See her films directly on Hot Movies For Her: Women Love Porn – Anna Span.
- Bright Desire The female director behind this site is an award-winning indie pornographer, and her popular couples’ site reflects her passion for making beautiful porn that’s heavy on the lust and chemistry. Highly recommended; based in Australia.
- Candice Royalle / Femme Productions New York based female director Royalle has a whole huge catalog of women-directed porn films that have something for everyone on offer. She also has an excellent, highly-recommended line of ergonomic vibrators.
- Cocky Boys If you’re looking for absolutely gorgeous, chemistry-heavy gay male porn with performers so attractive they put Hollywood’s hotties to shame, then I can’t recommend this site enough. They make films, they tell stories, and most importantly, they have lots of hardcore sex.
- Comstock Films This is the brainchild of maverick porn maker Tony Comstock and his wonderful wife — the very same company that brought us the first revolution in hot, true-love, couple’s porn, “Marie and Jack: A Hardcore Love Story.”
- Cosplay Deviants A fun, refreshing indie site that features amateurs who take cosplay seriously — and want to cross the line into sexualizing their play.
- Crash Pad Series This is some hot, authentic, original indie porn — made by women (and they’re mostly women of color). It’s an ongoing series where characters pass around keys to a “crash pad” for anonymous sex in a San Francisco apartment, which is filmed from a voyeuristic point of view. This site has a loyal following that encompasses all genders and sexual orientations.
- Cult Epics Vintage porn and erotica is a great place to start — or stay a while and enjoy yourself. Cult Epics is a find-and-a-half for people seeking to purchase sophisticated porn, especially vintage explicit erotic films. Vintage porn is often a great place to start — or arrive and enjoy. Feast your eyes on the amazing collections of vintage porn captured in Vintage Erotica Anno 1940. There is something indescribably erotic, and extremely arousing, about authentic vintage porn. These collections contains over 20 short films from France around the ’30s and ’40s, all ranging from the naughty tease to the extremely explicit.
Some wash over you like art films, and the scoring is quite pleasant (piano, some brass). Others are plainly staged, or amateurly shot in brothels. The DVDs deliver outdoor fellatio, threesomes, graphic come shots, a woman with three men taking turns, and even a gay/bi male scenario. The display of such explicit sexuality in a time commonly portrayed as “innocent,” or at least naïve, shocks and arouses — much more so than modern porn.
- CutePet Hentai, pinups and comics depicting outrageous, extremely explicit sex, all within genre categories. The art is really amazing, and so are the delightfully impossible, erotically exaggerated fantasies. See also: JigglyGirls (same network).
- Divine Bitches The best FemDom site on the web, and then some! I love this site run by a super-sexy powerful woman, her dominating sexy female cohorts, and the handsome men they erotically torture — they train houseboys, and sometimes play a wicked game of “bend over boyfriend” to finish the scene. Very high production values, and the men really get punished — with clear consent. Fans of the “clothed female, naked male” fetish will love this, and while it’s a paysite, it has plenty of explicit free porn to get you going.
- Dorcel Club If high-end, moneyed, exquisite, filthy French porn sounds like your cup of tea, prepare ti have your mind blown. Marc Dorcel has created an incredible porn site that’s best described as Eyes Wide Shut with the masks off. I love this site.
- Fatale Media The makers of some of the finest independent lesbian porn available and they carry many lesbian classics. Nan Kinney, one of the founding publishers of On Our Backs magazine, is the president of Fatale Media and producer of Fatale videos. They are primarily geared toward lesbians, yet include “other adventurous souls,” and one of their best-selling releases is Bend Over Boyfriend.
- For The Girls I *heart* Ms. Naughty and her blog, and store, and general kick-ass attitude toward porn for women. Indy-owned and the largest porn for women empire on the Internet. Heterosexual focus, includes erotica, porn, galleries and more.
- Frolic Me Gorgeous, very hot woman-run site of films, stories and more — with really sexy performers — all of which makes me wish there were more like this.
- Girlfriend Handjobs This site is fantastic for so many reasons: real couples that are attractive, genuine chemistry, and a focus on not only the sexual interaction and clearly enjoyable control the women takes of their boyfriends’ pleasure, but the focus on playing with hot men. Nice.
- Girls Out West I can’t recommend this Australian, women-run adult site highly enough. Very high quality, lots of super-hot couplings (hetero and girl-girl), they make it seem like Australia is full of gorgeous men and women, and that sex with an Aussie is fun, fun, fun. Their site is easy to use and they prize privacy. Superb!
- Hot Movies for Her A full porn shopping theater curated by women, for women — with a wide range of tastes, from mainstream to outsider. The porn loving women at Hot Movies got tired of having no place in the adult market (or having the market treat them like they only watched what their boyfriends cajoled them into watching). So they actively handpick through the largest online adult library to find the best movies: straight, lesbian, bisexual, gay, trans… An unbelievable selection. Pick your porn preference in their specialty theaters or browse the full collection in their main theater. Watch videos online discreetly with no monthly or recurring charges. Pay as you go. They also have a blog featuring reviews, tips, stories, interviews and more.
- I Shot Myself Women-run, Australian amateur website under that features women of all (hot) varieties making their own explicit photo shoots. Very yummy, lots of hot free content, and there are some really nice, smart and articulate women behind this enterprise.
- I Feel Myself The same women who run I Shot Myself have this tasteful, sexy and really fabulous Aussie amateur video masturbation website: I know women and men who know where to find free porn but pay for this site, and this site alone. High quality and tasteful, with regular free content.
- JoyBear Superb British porn site, with high production values and great offerings. They had a very well-received launch in the press, as a sophisticated porn site for couples who like their romance mixed with raunch.
- Joymii If Apple made porn, it would probably look like this. Clean tableaus, attractive performers without tattoos or piercings, and sex without any of porn’s rough practices make this site a popular choice for many. It’s also a good choice if you or your partner isn’t into anal sex.
- Juliland Juli Ashton’s outrageously polished porn site. I spent a lot of time there — do look at the free movies. Juliland has been around for a few years, though recently the site and all the ancillary media has gotten really slick — no DRM on the videos, among many other nice touches. Ashton is a smart and powerful woman who runs the site hands-on, and graduated from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco. The shoots are entirely comprised of remarkable women doing really wonderfully dirty things, and include Aria Giovanni, Dita Von Teese, Kim Kane, Bobbi Starr, Charlotte Vale, Dana DeArmond, Jada Fire, Justine Joli and a lot of other beauties.
- Kink.com This is the premiere kinky, BDSM and fetish online porn and erotica empire. They have over a dozen different high-end websites with tastes from the mild to the extreme, and many of their websites are (surprisingly) run, scripted and directed by women. I’ve been there many times to have lunch with the staff: they’re diverse, sex-positive and while the porn looks extreme, all of the scenes are the performers’ fantasies. Their safety rules and regulations are outstanding. And their kinky porn is… incredible.
- Lust Cinema This is one of the best porn sites online: Spanish porn director Erika Lust featuers her films alongside huge and growing stable of female pornographers from all over the world (including Tristan Taormino, Maria Beatty and others). Everything here feels like a ‘real’ movie, but with incredibly hot sex and gorgeous performers.
- Maria Beatty Her independent, lesbian and fetish-focused S/M films are breathtaking and win awards at film festivals, and her site is a feast for the eyes. See what’s new, view stills and more. Gorgeous!
- Nubile Films This is where you’ll find beautifully shot couples’ porn, with threesomes, experimentation, award-winning girl-girl scenes and much more. If you’re looking for top-shelf, heterosexually-focused, explicit yet respectful porn, with a focus on kissing and connection — without the rough stuff — I highly recommend this terrific site.
- Pink Label TV This is pioneering, indie porn director Shine Louise Houston’s queer-owned hub for streaming queer independent adult video. It presents her company’s prolific work including feature films, and videos from an ever-increasing catalog of new, talented and groundbreaking indie porn makers. This is where all genders and all orientations are truly showcased having hot sex the way they really like to fuck, and the chemistry is always riveting.
- Porn MD For garden-variety porn from around the globe on free tube sites, Porn MD searches 10+ porn tube sites, all in the PornHub network (they own everyone in the porn-tube space). The free tube sites largely have content from pay-porn production companies, in affiliate deals the tube network makes with pornographers. Other content is user-generated and user-uploaded; viewer beware, only because this is like a porn bazaar where you’ll probably see things you may not like.
- Pure CFNM The acronym “clothed female, naked male” tells you what the scenarios are: women with their clothes on, totally in charge of men they get to strip and perform sex acts purely for the amusement and pleasure of the women. Sometimes one women, but often several women and one lucky guy — or a guy in a whole lot of playful trouble. Pure CFNM is the best of its kind online, and hails from the U.K.
- Stagg Street Famous for her work as an erotic photographer starring in a reality web series for IFC — The Stagg Party — Ellen Stagg has a vast catalog of gorgeous, highly arousing galleries of the most beautiful adult and indie models in the business. The way she shoots them is a huge turn-on (especially when it’s two girls together), and she loves her ongoing work so much that she constantly blogs about how much fun she has on her latest projects.
- Stroke That Dick Straight amateur boys making money masturbating for the camera, solo — incredibly enjoyable.
- Trouble Films The Trouble Films Network is writer, director and performer Courtney Trouble’s independent queer porn film empire. The porn is high quality, explicit, and regularly wins awards for hot sex scenes with a huge variety of sex acts and diverse performers.
Pornography is still a controversial genre, and probably always will be. Granted, there’s a lot of lame porn out there, but that’s largely because porn is usually produced as a sex toy and not as the films we’d expect them to be. However, in general, most viewers and directors consider film an artistic medium, and the trick is finding filmmakers within the adult industry that take their craft seriously. If you share these sensibilities, check out a small selection of my articles from various sources:
* There’s a fantastic indie porn film fest that tours North America every year — read about it in Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel – Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance.
* Wanna have sex like a porn star? Not really. Porn performers take some pretty serious risks to have all that unprotected sex with strangers — find out in The Realities of Porn Sex what’s safe, what’s not, and how porn stars are protecting themselves (or not).
* I followed that article up with a piece in the San Francisco Chronicle, where I asked different performers about their physical prep for sex scenes in How to have sex like a porn star: You too can have glamorous porn star sex; Violet Blue gets techniques from the pros.
* But how do the porn performers themselves feel about what they do? I wanted to find out what the emotional (and physical) realities are like for the new generation of young women who love extreme sport fucking, and do it on camera. Read my San Francisco Chronicle article, Sex for money, not love: Violet Blue asks rising adult superstar Lorelei Lee about the differences between sex work and sex not-for-work.
* Porn music sucks. Some hate it, some love it, subcultures have sprung up around it, and porn has yet to really master it, and who knew there was so much to this sub genre? Bad porn music is like an embarrassing side effect of a promising arousal pill, and is part and parcel of our porn viewing experience. Most porn consumers hate it (and most porn reviewers loathe it), yet we are stuck with it during some pretty crucial masturbatory moments, and we either put up with it or consign ourselves to the mute button. Read more in Porn Music Still Sucks, Part One.
* Porn Music Still Sucks Part Two: The Filmmakers Good music in porn? It’s not a myth — it’s out there, and this article shows you where to find it. Part two in my series about the vagaries of porn music examines why music in porn needs to be different than music for non-erotic films, and reviews porn directors whose careful attention to music makes their porn superior films.
* A Long Kiss Goodnight to Linda Lovelace Legendary star of Deep Throat died this year from a car crash, but that was nothing compared to the car wreck that was the intermingling of her public and private lives. Not to mention the effect she had on our nation’s psyche on porn.