Eye Candy: What if 50 Shades was sexy?

There were so many ways the mainstream-breakthrough BDSM romance novel could’ve gone.

But instead of, say, one of the stunning contemporary novels being crafted by indies (Dark Secret Love by Alison Tyler, Slow Surrender by Cecilia Tan, Carrie’s Story by Molly Weatherfield), we got 50 Shades.

It’s not a BDSM novel. It’s ‘The Ultimate Guide’ to revoking all the hard work sex-positive sex educators have done over the past 30 years to create a culture of informed consent around kink and keep people from sticking household objects up their asses. It’s not a romance. It’s a book about a rapey douchebag with borderline personality disorder who obsesses over an invertebrate whose insecurity should win her a Darwin Award. Instead of reading Fetish Sex, people are reading 50 Shades and sticking dangerous things up their butts. Instead of a sexy, relevant, redeeming film version of the book directed by Erika Lust or Anna at FrolicMe, we got another reminder that Hollywood and the mass book market for sexual content hasn’t quite grasped this whole internet fad.


Indie, woman-run porn site FrolicMe sent me these super-hot photos saying they’re “from a film we produced called Sir. It had a very strong moody feel and oozes control, devotion and possession. The story for this film was written by a Sub herself.” I think they’re a great example of what 50 Shades fans deserve. Thank you to FrolicMe for the exclusive pics!

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  • Nick

    “What if 50 Shades was sexy?”

    Funny! I’ve read a few critiques of the movie, but you’ve got the best headline!