The Oatmeal’s Horrible Valentine’s Day Cards

While I can’t decide if I want to ignore or embrace Valentine’s Day this year, the always sweet and never bitter Matthew Inman – aka The Oatmeal – makes it all better with new greeting cards conveying comic messages of twisted, tainted love (and lust).

Don’t miss his new Horrible Valentine’s Day Cards. They’re actual cards that you can give to a person in real life. That’s pretty neat. You can pay him money for them, and they start at $5. There are a number of sexytime ones, such as one card that explains how “in a sea of chest hair a man’s nipples can help you find his penis in the dark” and another one involving cheetah balls, and yet another that features a cruise missile covered in wiggling cocks. I hope that next time I see Matt I get to ask him about the science behind creating cards about farting in bed for love, and anal adventures involving man-eating cats. There’s got to be a sex guide waiting to happen in there somewhere…

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