Trojan’s “For No One’s Pleasure” Condoms

The Onion, making us cringe and laugh at the same time, as usual. Trojan Introduces ‘No One’s Pleasure’ Condoms For Bitter, Resentful Couples:

(…) According to a Trojan press release, No One’s Pleasure condoms feature a quarter-inch-thick layer of non-lubricated latex with a unique abrasive texture that creates a variety of stinging sensations “for both him and her.” The company statement goes on to explain that the product magnifies personal insecurities and awakens deep-seated, unresolved relationship issues that are “sure to raise passions and quicken your pulse.”

The cutting-edge prophylactics are also extremely tapered at their base and tip, which Trojan engineers said induces premature ejaculation and provides longer-lasting hostility and alienation.

Lead designer Benjamin Walton said the bulky, ill-fitting sheaths greatly constrict the movement of any man who wears them and when used correctly are 98 percent effective at preventing vaginal penetration. (…read more, theonion.com, thanks DD!)

Share This Post

One Comment - COMMENTARY is DESIRED

Post Comment