Rating male lovers by country

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Neither patriotism nor nationalism turn me on. But give me surveys that rate stamina and prowess of the male gender by country, toss out your “no country for uncut men” notions, and it’s like giving me a bag of junk food. Not really what you should eat, but fun to nibble on and share. Not health food per se (read: unscientific) yet fun nonetheless. Okay, that’s as far as I’ll take that analogy… First, a recent online poll (heh) asked women around the world to judge male lovers from different countries. Ladies would prefer to stuff a sock in a Scotman’s mouth, and you Brit boys really need to step up. Really! Um, really? Anyway, this from the Telegraph UK, who we all know have no shame:

World’s Worst Lovers:

1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)
3. Sweden (too quick)
4. Holland (too dominating)
5. America (too rough)
6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)
7. Wales (too selfish)
8. Scotland (too loud)
9. Turkey (too sweaty)
10. Russia (too hairy)

World’s Best Lovers

1. Spain
2. Brazil
3. Italy
4. France
5. Ireland
6. South Africa
7. Australia
8. New Zealand
9. Denmark
10. Canada

(source, telegraph.co.uk)

Ouch, American men. Nevermind that “best” is a word more subjective than “normal.” I’m an American girl, and I’d love to see the inverse, but guys — my fellow Americans — I’m sorry. For you, anyway. Don’t worry, another research study — oh Telegraph UK, please stay in the gutter — ranked male lovers from different countries by stamina. US and UK boys had the last word. Or at least the last couple of minutes… Mmmmm, you Brit boys. To wit:

Average time to reach orgasm:

British men – 10 minutes
American men – 8 minutes
Dutch men – 6.5 minutes
Spanish men – 4.9 minutes
Turkish men – 4.4 minutes

The 500 research subjects clocked by researchers ranged from 6 seconds to 52 minutes.

(source, telegraph.co.uk)

Like I said, when it comes to dubious “studies” about coming, and sex by the numbers, it’s all junk food. Sounds like a good excuse for a female book on “sex tourism” — the fun kind. (Tonight’s niblets put together via Daze Reader, dazereader.com)

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  1. My new American lover rocks my socks. Fuck. He’s my Wrangler wearing neighbor. Tonight, I’m gonna fuck him with just his snakeskin boots on. He makes me drippin’ wet!
    There ought to be a category for that!

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