Today is My Birthday! Viva Me!

After being duly chastised by a trumpet player from the Extra Action Marching Band for not updating my blog ("Just let us know you’re alive!"), I’m back after a couple of weeks of hellish workload, crazy playload, and my best friend’s wedding. First, I received some interesting emails in response to the women and porn article, and here is a choice pick, addressed to the journalist and CC’d to me:

"Michelle,
I was right with you all the way in your article until you used Jewel De’Nyle as an example of a female porn director.
She and Platinum-X primarily target the male market, in particular gonzo. Take a look at this thread on the message board of Adult DVD Talk to see what women think of gonzo
http://www.adultdvdtalk.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=24800&FORUM_ID=1&CAT_ID=1.
Here’s another thread about what women think porn directors should be doing to appeal to them
http://www.adultdvdtalk.com/forum/topic.dlt/topic_id=25617/forum_id=8/cat_id=3/25617.htm.
Dirty Girlz may be her best selling movie, but it’s really not targeted at the female demographic. Here is a review of the movie (written by a married woman who considers herself 85% lesbian)
http://www.adultdvdtalk.com/reviews/read_review.dlt/sku=6132/dirty-girlz.htm.
All the best,"

I agree with the guy who wrote this — I was confused about the female director the journalist included in the article, especially when there are many women directors who are truly trying to appeal to a female audience. Hmmm. Anyway, Adult DVD Talk is a fascinating forum, and has discussions that include plenty of very articulate female porn viewers (and a good dose of lame chicks, too). It’s a nice spectrum.

Where the hell have I been? Here are some highlights:

* hosted a Pleasure Party for my best friend’s wife-to-be, the now-Mrs.-Mark-Pauline. The picture is the party getting out of hand, after the anatomy lessons and sex toy tour, and before the guys raided us. Which I was truly grateful for, actually, because it’s an odd feeling being from the groom’s side and then having the weird traditional gender-separated parties, and feeling like I should be with the boys racing cars and shooting guns, instead of with a bunch of nice ladies sipping martinis and talking about having babies. I managed to have fun giving them a 2-hour sex seminar, because roomfuls of women and sex toys always make for giddy mayhem. Still, I think we should tear down that gender fence — Pleasure Parties for all!

* I wrote five chapters for my next book. Whew! Next round of research takes me to the gorgeous (pant, pant) Mistress Morgana‘s dungeon for a session with a lucky boy!

* I have been completely overtaken by Mark‘s wedding. Dinners, parties, phew. Being the kind of "best man" in a wedding is truly like being the person getting married, except I don’t get blenders or a trip to Hawaii when it’s over. But talk about the honor of a lifetime. The man is my hero, has taught me so much, and is the closest thing to a family member I have on this earth — and as I found out this month, the meaning is mutual. Wow. I feel like the daughter of SRL.

* The finest corset couture makers on the planet made me an outfit to die for to wear in the wedding. Dark Garden made me an incredible corset and astounding matching full-length fetish skirt in the wedding colors, custom-made just for me. They dress Fetish Diva Midori, Dita and me –among others. Good god, I felt like royalty — and I was compared to a Tim Burton character. The minute I get pictures, I’ll post them.

* Things that have made me laugh: the upcoming recall election Official Voter Information Guide, and the 55 new condom sizes recently launched by Condomania. Working in the Good Vibes store last week, we stood surrounded by pocket pussies and dick tax, and read selections from the election handbook aloud to each other until we cried laughing. One man promises that a vote for him will open the seventh portal of hell. No, really. But I’m jazzed by the 55 sizes of condoms, so much that I downloaded their very cool measuring guide. So far I’ve just admired their nonjudgmental sizing codes.

* I pulled some muscles when I accidentally ended up at a Marching Band gig and found myself in a SF fire station at one in the morning on a weeknight dancing and showing off my panties on top of a fire truck. I dropped a cute horn player off at the Sun Microsystems conference gig (an overblown, big moneyed affair), and as I was attempting to leave to go home and work, I was greeted, hugged, and then found myself covered in backstage passes and handed many beers. It was a long, crazy night that found me soaking wet from pom-poms that had been dipped in a fountain swimming with flag girls, dancing for happy firefighters, then dancing on a table in a SOMA bar to finish the night. No wonder I was sore.

Okay, back to my birthday. How am I celebrating? I slept until noon!

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