This email was the unintentional highlight of the week:
Subject: Who are you?< who are you and why are you emailing my husband? It was sent presumably from the husband's email address, or there is one very mad, very aggressive and very snoopy gay househusband out there. I haven't written back mostly because I am enjoying the push-pull feelings of amusement and anger. I mean, like, who is her husband? Very likely he is one of many nice guys who email me on a regular basis and compliment my web site or my work, and I emailed him back to say "thank you." That's about as raunchy as it gets. This woman has obviously been cuckolded by politeness. I want to write her back and ask her why she's invading her husband's privacy. Or why she's got the balls to email me presumptuously, a total stranger, and no cojones when it comes to trusting (or talking to) her husband.
But what I really want to tell her is that she needs to be oiled up with a delicious aphrodisiac oil by six nubile and adoring male and female nymphs who blindfold her and drizzle warm maple syrup all over her sensitive parts and lick it all off while drinking some ancient bottle of sweet liqueur that makes them all hallucinate and writhe like a bunch of orgiastic snakes, all culminating with her much-needed introduction to a Hitachi Magic Wand Super Silicone G-Spotter Kit, the Tiny Buzzers nipple clamps, a Little Flirt butt plug and the iSurge, all at once. Then a sound spanking from the super-hot and very scrumptious Mistress Morgana. And a complete training on wifeliness by the dedicated wives of Whap! Magazine.
On Saturday 4/12 I represented the women of Survival Research Labs at the Gearheads: The Turbulent Rise of Robotic Sports book signing in San Francisco (Fort Mason). The book is fantastic and I love it (though a little light on the female contribution to the world of machine art). It’s the only written description of SRL that even comes remotely close to capturing the chaos, danger and prankster nature of our organization — and the book also covers Robot Wars and Battlebots, organizations that sprung up in SRL’s wake. You know, the TV shows where the only women are big-boobed blonde bunny announcers. Hey, I like the BBBB announcers, but c’mon, guys.
I ran a table selling the Official SRL Nudie Calendar (all proceeds benefit an SRL member with cancer), and got to meet just about everyone. I had a great time sipping beer and chatting robotics with guys and a few gals, and selling the hell out of the calendars. There were many instances where it took several rounds of conversation with some of the men to get them to understand that I was a *female* member of SRL, and that we do indeed exist in all our welding, carpentering, forklift-driving, fabricating and machine operating glory. I guess it was a consciousness-raising event on both sides.
Next I’ll be hosting at the Capri Restaurant on 4/23 for a Stop AIDS benefit evening, and working as Good Vibes staff at the SF Fetish Ball on 4/26 and at the premiere of Charles Gatewood‘s documentary Forbidden Photographs at the Roxie Theater on 5/9.
Oh, and last week’s favorite customer question, from two gay guys I was waiting on in the store:
Do you have any lube for really BIG dicks?
As a matter of fact…