Porn for Women

Do women like porn? Is there really “porn for women?”

Do women read sex blogs, cruise porn sites and watch sexually explicit videos for their own pleasure?

Are our fantasies just as much about fucking, as they are supposed to be about shopping? Are we tired of lame, insulting, stereotypical porn?

The answer is yes to all of these questions.

You may have a lot of questions about women and porn: I have a lot of well-researched answers. This page is a great place to start, and there is a lot more information at Our Porn, Ourselves. Read the origins and pro-women, pro-porn principles. This website is a resource that aims to create an alternative and constructive conversation on the use of pornography by women, and in turn offer balance to the anti-porn feminist agenda.

Women enjoy porn and erotica of all kinds, and it’s a fact – don’t listen to sensationalists who would like to convince you otherwise. On this website, in articles further down this page and in my book on women and porn I explain how to find good porn, what kind of porn women like and don’t like (you’ll be surprised), the degradation question, how to avoid horrifying boob jobs in your porn, and more.

My blog – here on Tinynibbles – is for the savvy porn shopper, I talk about why porn sucks, I find porn where all the hot guys are, and offer a huge amount of information about online porn, RSS, online video, porn podcasts, safe porn surfing, oodles of links to hot free porn sites, grrrl-positive online porn review forums, and how to shop for porn (and watch it) with a lover.

Answers to many of your questions – from finding hot porn to dealing with getting grossed out by stuff we don’t want to see, to the “degradation” myths and more – are in a book I wrote, The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn (also: UK). Read the table of contents here; listen to the introduction as I read it in my podcast Open Source Sex #41; hear it right now with this link (MP3).

Read what a woman needs to know for her first times exploring pornography in this excerpt from my book The Smart Girl’s Guide To Porn published on The Oprah Winfrey website: Chapter 3: I Was a Porn Virgin.

After reading Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn, Wired said: “Her focus on answering common questions — What if you don’t look like a porn star? Why does the guy always ejaculate on the woman? How do they do it with those fingernails? — and her emphasis on giving the reader the tools to discover and find her own porn is more valuable than a list of recommended titles. I’m no newbie and I learned something; the book will be eye-opening for many women and probably some men, too. Meanwhile, Violet’s enthusiasm for porn inspired me to put the effort into finding adult content that I genuinely like, rather than settling for what’s easy to find. That’s a smart girl.”

* Not sure where to start in exploring porn? Start with this guide for women who are interested in watching explicit erotic imagery – or have never seen porn.

* Stay safe and protect your privacy when you surf for porn on the web: read my Porn Privacy and Safety Guide.

Hot porn websites that women especially enjoy:

How we all react to sexually explicit imagery varies from person to person. There are more kinds of porn and erotica than anyone can imagine: if you see something you don’t like, click away but don’t think it’s all the same. Be a smart porn shopper: if you hate it click away, but if you like it, then enjoy it as you would your favorite sex toy. Never assume you know what’s going on in the images you see. Most of all, enjoy your fantasies to their fullest and decide for yourself what you think about your relationship with explicit imagery. This is my personal handpicked list: I screen for quality, privacy, tastefulness, enjoyment of the performers, ethics of the creators and focus on female pleasure. Hope you like my picks.

Andrew Blake Very high-end, extremely popular, gloriously glossy and exquisite erotic porn. Read my interview with the creator in the San Francisco Chronicle ( The Helmut Newton of Porn – Violet Blue interviews erotic filmmaking legend Andrew Blake

Anna Span’s Diary Female U.K. porn filmmaker Anna Span’s fun site. Read my interview with the groundbreaking British female director creator in the San Francisco Chronicle ( In The U.K., Female Ejaculation Is Not Obscene – Violet Blue: Woman porn maker Anna Span challenged the British Board of Film Classification over a controversial sex act, and won. See her films directly on Hot Movies For Her: Women Love Porn – Anna Span.

Candida Royalle / Femme Productions New York based female director Royalle has a whole huge catalog of women-directed porn films that have something for everyone on offer. She also has an excellent, highly-recommended line of ergonomic vibrators.

Comstock Films This is the brainchild of maverick porn maker Tony Comstock and his wonderful wife — the very same company that brought us the first revolution in hot, true-love, couple’s porn, “Marie and Jack: A Hardcore Love Story.” They’ve got new films coming out regularly that are shot in remarkably high quality, so visit and see what they’re up to. TC’s blog is fantastic.

Crash Pad Series Hot queer porn. This is some hot, authentic, original indie porn – made by women (and they’re mostly women of color). It’s an ongoing series where characters pass around keys to a “crash pad” for anonymous sex in a San Francisco apartment, which is filmed from a voyeuristic point of view. This site has a loyal following of lesbians and straight men alike.

Cult Epics Vintage porn and erotica is a great place to start — or stay a while and enjoy yourself. Cult Epics is a find-and-a-half for people seeking to purchase sophisticated porn, especially vintage explicit erotic films. This site has vintage porn from the 1930s and ’40s restored on DVD, right along with Maria Beatty’s black and white modern classics and many uncut (explicit) films by Caligula director Tinto Brass. They’re also building their cult/horror sections, and often have shipping specials.

Explicite Art I was delighted to discover this French explicit porn site. The performers are having fun, we see a lot of safer sex, it’s all well shot and for those looking to see very explicit sex with the lightest possible dash of kink — but mostly good, old-fashioned het adventures that include threesomes of varying combinations — this website is a breath of fresh air. Enjoy the free fruits of my research to find us all some good quality European pr0ns.

Fatale Media The makers of some of the finest independent lesbian porn available and they carry many lesbian classics. Nan Kinney, one of the founding publishers of On Our Backs magazine, is the president of Fatale Media and producer of Fatale videos. They are primarily geared toward lesbians, yet include “other adventurous souls,” and one of their best-selling releases is Bend Over Boyfriend.

For The Girls This is currently one of the most popular porn sites form women in the world. I *heart* Ms. Naughty and her blog, and store, and general kick-ass attitude toward porn for women. Indy-owned and the largest porn for women empire on the Internet. Heterosexual focus, includes erotica, porn, galleries and more.

Girlfriend Handjobs This site is fantastic for so many reasons: real couples that are attractive, genuine chemistry, and a focus on not only the sexual interaction and clearly enjoyable control the women takes of their boyfriends’ pleasure, but the focus on playing with hot men. Nice.

Girls Out West I can’t recommend this Australian, women-run adult site highly enough. Very high quality, lots of super-hot couplings (hetero and girl-girl), they make it seem like Australia is full of gorgeous men and women, and that sex with an Aussie is fun, fun, fun. Their site is easy to use and they prize privacy. Superb!

Hot Movies for Her A full porn shopping theater curated by women, for women — with a wide range of tastes, from mainstream to outsider. The porn loving women at Hot Movies got tired of having no place in the adult market (or having the market treat them like they only watched what their boyfriends cajoled them into watching). So they actively handpick through the largest online adult library to find the best movies: straight, lesbian, bisexual, gay, trans… An unbelievable selection. Pick your porn preference in their specialty theaters or browse the full collection in their main theater. Watch videos online discreetly with no monthly or recurring charges. Pay as you go. They also have a blog featuring reviews, tips, stories, interviews and more.

I Shot Myself Women-run, Australian amateur website under that features women of all (hot) varieties making their own explicit photo shoots. Very yummy, lots of hot free content, and there are some really nice, smart and articulate women behind this enterprise.

I Feel Myself The same women who run I Shot Myself have this tasteful, sexy and really fabulous Aussie amateur video masturbation website: I know women and men who know where to find free porn but pay for this site, and this site alone. High quality and tasteful, with regular free content.

Juliland Juli Ashton is a smart and powerful woman who runs the site hands-on, and graduated from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco. The shoots are entirely comprised of remarkable women doing really wonderfully dirty things, and include Aria Giovanni, Dita Von Teese, Kim Kane, Bobbi Starr, Charlotte Vale, Dana DeArmond, Jada Fire, Justine Joli and a lot of other beauties.

Maria Beatty Her independent, lesbian and fetish-focused S/M films are breathtaking and win awards at film festivals, and her site is a feast for the eyes. See what’s new, view stills and more. Gorgeous!

Met Art Fine art nudes at their very best, shot all over Europe by top photographers. This is what men’s magazines aspire to be, but don’t have the taste, beauty or courage to show it all like the award-winning Met Art does. This is one of the most popular high-end pinup sites in the world.

Pure CFNM British men in playful erotic peril. The acronym “clothed female, naked male” tells you what the scenarios are: women with their clothes on, totally in charge of men they get to strip and perform sex acts purely for the amusement and pleasure of the women. Sometimes one women, but often several women and one lucky guy — or a guy in a whole lot of playful trouble. Pure CFNM is the best of its kind online, and hails from the U.K.

Seska For Lovers Seska is a cute, sweet and smart girl who loves making (and finding) hot porn. It’s also the lovely Seska’s personal blog. We met recently and I just can’t say enough nice things about her and her mission to spread good porn.

Stroke That Dick Straight amateur boys making money masturbating for the camera, solo – incredibly enjoyable.

Sugar DVD Why buy the cow when you only need a little cream in your morning coffee? I love the whole concept of the adult Netflix — and this is where I rent my adult DVD’s online. They have excellent service, are highly recommended by friends and Tiny Nibbles fans alike, and have a smooth site. An enormous selection, no due dates or late fees, and five different rental plans to choose from. Has a privacy policy and won’t sell, rent, or trade your customer information with anyone.

X-Art This site brings together many real-life couples in simply gorgeous settings – and features multiple or solo adventures as well. The performers are simply stunning (especially and including the men) and the sex is sweet and explicit at the same time. I love this site.

Safe Porn Surfing Resources: Bumpercar (smart, parent-moderated web filter to keep kids away from porn), Firefox, Extended popup blocking, Pornzilla

Some recommended films and filmmakers:

* Tristan Taormino’s Chemistry 1 and 2, and her House of Ass. Sex-positive activist and post-post-post-feminist Taormino (who is a really good friend and all-around cool chick) made these incredible “reality porn” videos where the focus is on female pleasure and porn performers having sex with people they’re in a house with over a weekend — but only having sex with people they really *want* to have sex with. Authentic and incredible.

* Comstock Films‘ Xana and Dax and Marie and Jack — insanely high quality production documentary style videos about couples deeply in love, who talk about how they met, and sex, and then show us all how they make love to each other. Shot on film, thigh-clenching chemistry between people who are sexy as hell and really love each other.

* Jenna Jameson is The Masseuse. Mainstream porn star Jameson is in the role of a lietime when she stars in this film that is the one of the closest things to a regular movie with hardcore sex — a love story — I’ve ever seen. Jameson is an erotic masseuse who crosses the emotional line with a client, played by her (then) real-life husband, in a movie that’s as watchable for the plot and acting as it is for the really hot, lightly kinky sex. High production values and focus on female pleasure.

* Films by Maria Beatty — especially The Elegant Spanking, The Black Glove, Ladies of the Night. Beatty’s films are independently made and distributed, and have outrageously decadent production values — so much so that they are frequently the belles of international film festivals. Her work is kinky, usually lesbian in nature and often Gothic.

* Vintage porn is often a great place to start — or arrive and enjoy. Feast your eyes on the amazing collections of vintage porn captured in Vintage Erotica Anno 1940. There is something indescribably erotic, and extremely arousing, about authentic vintage porn. These collections contains over 20 short films from France around the ’30s and ’40s, all ranging from the naughty tease to the extremely explicit.

Some wash over you like art films, and the scoring is quite pleasant (piano, some brass). Others are plainly staged, or amateurly shot in brothels. The DVDs deliver outdoor fellatio, threesomes, graphic come shots, a woman with three men taking turns, and even a gay/bi male scenario. The display of such explicit sexuality in a time commonly portrayed as “innocent,” or at least naïve, shocks and arouses — much more so than modern porn.

Pornography is still a controversial genre, and probably always will be. Granted, there’s a lot of lame porn out there, but that’s largely because porn is usually produced as a sex toy and not as the films we’d expect them to be. However, in general, most viewers and directors consider film an artistic medium, and the trick is finding filmmakers within the adult industry that take their craft seriously. If you share these sensibilities, check out a small selection of my articles from various sources:

* There’s a fantastic indie porn film fest that tours North America every year — read about it in Have Highbrow Porn, Will Travel – Violet Blue investigates CineKink, the X-rated Sundance.

* Wanna have sex like a porn star? Not really. Porn performers take some pretty serious risks to have all that unprotected sex with strangers — find out in The Realities of Porn Sex what’s safe, what’s not, and how porn stars are protecting themselves (or not).

* I followed that article up with a piece in the San Francisco Chronicle, where I asked different performers about their physical prep for sex scenes in How to have sex like a porn star: You too can have glamorous porn star sex; Violet Blue gets techniques from the pros.

* But how do the porn performers themselves feel about what they do? I wanted to find out what the emotional (and physical) realities are like for the new generation of young women who love extreme sport fucking, and do it on camera. Read my San Francisco Chronicle article, Sex for money, not love: Violet Blue asks rising adult superstar Lorelei Lee about the differences between sex work and sex not-for-work.

* Porn music sucks. Some hate it, some love it, subcultures have sprung up around it, and porn has yet to really master it, and who knew there was so much to this sub genre? Bad porn music is like an embarrassing side effect of a promising arousal pill, and is part and parcel of our porn viewing experience. Most porn consumers hate it (and most porn reviewers loathe it), yet we are stuck with it during some pretty crucial masturbatory moments, and we either put up with it or consign ourselves to the mute button. Read more in Porn Music Still Sucks, Part One.

* Porn Music Still Sucks Part Two: The Filmmakers Good music in porn? It’s not a myth — it’s out there, and this article shows you where to find it. Part two in my series about the vagaries of porn music examines why music in porn needs to be different than music for non-erotic films, and reviews porn directors whose careful attention to music makes their porn superior films.

* A Long Kiss Goodnight to Linda Lovelace Legendary star of Deep Throat died this year from a car crash, but that was nothing compared to the car wreck that was the intermingling of her public and private lives. Not to mention the effect she had on our nation’s psyche on porn.

Organizations such as Stop Porn Culture fuel the anti-porn arguments, and pro-porn women and men who support us want a sane, fact-filled dialog. Here is a quick video rundown on women and porn:

Violet Blue

The London Times named Violet Blue "One of the 40 bloggers who really count" and Self Magazine named TinyNibbles one of the “Best Sex Resources for Women.” Blue is an autodidact and pundit on sex and technology, hacking and security, porn for women, privacy and bleeding-edge tech culture. She is a journalist for ZDNet, CBS News, CNET; she's an educator, speaker, crisis counselor, volunteer NGO trainer, and the author and editor of over 40 award-winning books.

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