We all determine our own individual level of safety; whether it’s a decision to take a walk in the park late at night, smoke a cigarette, or engage in unprotected sex. Our decisions are all made for different reasons at different times, what’s important is to be aware of the risks inherent in any activity so that we can make informed decisions. Then, we can be responsible for ourselves and those we care about.
Cunnilingus is not considered a high-risk activity, but it can be an unsafe sexual activity. Whether you are on the receiving side or the giving side, unprotected you are at risk for sexually transmitted diseases. Some STD’s can remain dormant for as long as a few years, and it’s possible to give someone something you didn’t even know you had. It is possible that viral STD’s like herpes, HPV, Hepatitis C or HIV can be contracted by either of you through cunnilingus if she is on her period and you have a cut in your mouth -– like the invisible kinds you get when you brush your teeth. It is essential to use protection if either of you has one of these viruses. If one of you has a bacterial infection, such as chlamydia or vaginosis, you must use latex (or non-latex) barriers until you’ve completed treatment. Because the medical community’s conventional wisdom changes on safer sex often, check with the CDC (Center for Disease Control) for new information.
Barriers can be bought, such as with dental dams, or they can be made at home, such as with plastic wrap. Dental dams are little squares usually made of latex (though non-latex versions are available) that fit over the recipient’s vulva and allow you to safely lick to your heart’s content. To use them, put a drop or two of water-based lubricant on your lover’s vulva, then place the dam over her pussy and hold it in place. They can be slippery, so it’s a good idea to have a few ready if it gets away from you.
Improvised barriers can be fun. In a heated moment, you can cut open a condom or latex glove, and lick away. Plastic wrap is safe to use, and very useful because you can make a giant dam out of it that won’t slip out of your grasp. You can make a very lickable pair of see-through panties out of it by starting the end at her tummy, going down between her legs, then around her waist to hold the strip in place. Voila — hands-free safer sex!
If neither of you have any latex sensitivities, you can use dental dams, or lollyes. Dental dams are small squares of latex that are used in dentistry to isolate a tooth, and they transmit sensation well when both sides are lubricated. Exactly where this idea came from is unknown (though I can imagine a few scenarios), yet these little quivery origami squares make great oral sex barriers.
Dental dams are on the thick side — thicker than a condom — so the sex industry answered back with thinner, larger squares of latex. Glyde Lollyes are thin 10″ by 6″ sheets that come in both flavored and unflavored versions. Lixx are even thinner, yet smaller (5″ by 5″) and also have flavored or plain versions. If you can’t find dams, you can cut open a condom or a latex or non-latex glove.
The best way to use dental dams and other smaller barriers is to first mark the “up” side of your barrier with a pen (in case it slips or slides), then apply a drop or two of water-based lube to the recipient’s anus. Press the barrier in place, and you’re all set. Those little dental dams can be slippery when wet, so be sure to hold it in place with your hands. Remember to switch dams when switching activities.
If you plan on adding a finger or two to your cunnilingus session, gloves are essential for keeping bacteria off your fingers, and make it easy to avoid spreading harmful bacteria to her vagina. Remember, going from vagina to anus is fine, but not the other way around, and that goes for oral contact as well. If you want to use your hands without interruptions, try wearing two gloves on one hand.
You can find singular little finger condoms called finger cots (used to protect fingers with cuts from the environment, used a lot in restaurants) at your local pharmacy. Finger cots are great for fingers that are inclined to dip into the anus or vagina, and are very discreet.
Latex allergies are no fun, and they can rear their ugly heads as a rash, chronic infections, or as a severe allergy leading to anaphylactic shock — which is sadly becoming more common as latex is manufactured more cheaply and with low-grade additives. When in doubt, use Plastic Wrap (aka Saran Wrap); it does the trick of providing a safe barrier for rimming nicely and has playful advantages. It can be even better than those slippery little squares because you can use long sheets of it and see through it. Just be sure to get the non-microwaveable kind, to avoid the microscopic holes essential for keeping your burrito from bursting in the microwave.
To find out even more about safer cunnilingus, how to use safer sex gear to make sex more spontaneous (yes, it’s true!), and many very handy safe sex tips, get The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus. Be safe. Make any unsafe sex you decide to have a mutual decision based on knowing the facts about you, your partner, and the risk you’re taking. Refer to my free safer sex ebook as needed, and email me anytime: violet at tinynibbles.com.