How To Rim Someone: Advanced Techniques

To get started, read Rimming 101.

Anal rimming — licking or penetrating the anus with your tongue — is one of life’s many unique erotic pleasures. The anal opening is rife with sensitive nerve endings, and when you’re turned on, a soft, wet lick on this sensitive area can put your arousal through the roof — and some lucky people can orgasm from that type of erotic stimulation all by itself. If you already know you like rimming, you may want to take your skills to the next level. The ideas here are tidbits designed to spice up oral sex taken from my two oral sex books, Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus and Ultimate Guide to Fellatio, which detail even more techniques.

Flavored lubes can make rimming more of a sweet treat for rimmers, but warming (or cooling, tingly) lubes can add a level of pleasure to the rim-ee’s experience. Warming lubricants such as Wet Warming Intimate feel warm when you apply them — drip lightly onto the expectant bootie, or apply with gentle fingers. But when you blow on these lubes, they heat up pleasantly, imparting a warming sensation right where you’re about to lick.


The only caveat is that some warming lubes (not Kama Sutra; they are now water-based) contain oil in them, so are not compatible with latex or safer sex supplies (condoms). If you plan to use a latex condom, dental dam or gloves, make sure you use a brand without oil, such as Motion Lotion. Remember that what these lubes are doing to their bootie, they will also do to your tongue, so if you experiment with lubes that convey intense menthol sensations such as Elbow Grease Hot Gel, your mouth might feel like you licked some Ben Gay.

Mix things up by playing the game of “fire and ice.” Make a cup of hot tea, and place a small bowl with an ice cube next to the bed before your next rimming adventure. Bend your lovely lickable lover over and begin rimming as usual, but stop, take a sip of the warm tea and swish it around your mouth, then dive back in to give your partner a delightfully warm rim job. Next, pause and suck on the ice cube for a minute, transferring the cold to your tongue and lips, and go back down to give them an amazing sensation of cool licks.

Alternate for fun, or when the teabag is cool enough to feel okay on your inner arm, rub the warm bag on their anus while giving your tongue a rest — alternately rimming them with the ice cube itself. Never stick the ice cube inside their anus, where it will disappear into the colon, possibly to “burn” the delicate inner tissues before it melts.

Experimenting with anal sensations isn’t the only game in town when you want to spice up a rimming session. In the last rimming article I recommend masturbating a male partner while he’s being rimmed (yum!). But why stop there, when there is a whole world of sex toys to explore? Pause from rimming that naughty boy and snap a cockring onto his package, or better yet, slide a number of jelly rubber rings like the Stud Rings over his cock and balls to give him a feeling of intense constriction when you spin him back around and dive back in.

More advanced players can experiment with cock and ball bondage, wrapping his family jewels into a tight bundle while he submits to your oral affections. See Hardy Haberman’s Family Jewels for more advanced cock and ball torment techniques, and a few cock rope bondage ideas.

Gals like rimming just as much as guys, and while you would jack off a lucky boy toy, clitoral massage during rimming could send your female lover into orbit. Brush up on your massage techniques with the exhaustive instructional video, Best of Vulva Massage, and be sure to have a good water-based lube on hand (pardon the pun). Slip a cordless finger-vibe such as the Fukuoku or other finger vibrator onto your finger and give her clit and entire vulva a delicious buzz as you lick.

While you can run the vibe over the outside of her anus as you rim her, don’t insert the vibe in a way that you might lose it, or move the vibe from anus to vulva — doing this might give her a vaginal infection. You can always give her a buzz hands-free by having her wear a Mini Dolphin vibe. The dolphin vibrates her clit while you get busy rimming, holding her hips, penetrating her vaginally with your fingers or a dildo, or even reaching up to play with her breasts. Everyone’s happy! In fact, dildos and vibrating dildos are wonderful props to use for penetration and play during rimming, and the vaginal and anal sensations can feel incredible for her.

You can employ a variety of other sensations to your lover’s genitals while rimming, but you can also tease and torment other parts of your partner’s body — and mind — as well. Mixing light or heavy S/M with your rim session can focus your lover’s attention on your every move, and for some being bound, spanked or experiencing another ongoing sensation (such as clips or clamps) during the experience can be profoundly pleasurable. I advise you to pick up the basics on power exchange, sensation play and more in Patrick Califia’s Sensuous Magic.


But if you want to play around a little first, make sure your partner is interested and knows exactly what you two are going to do, and try out a few toys and techniques for some especially kinky fun. Get the Sportsheets Beginners Bondage Fantasy Kit and spend a rimming session experimenting with blindfolded rimming (you or them), rimming with one of you with arms restrained, or alternate rimming on a restrained, blindfolded subject with the sweetly soft included tickling feather — and the fanny swatter. Add a pair of nipple clamps, such as the gentle Tweezers, or the buzzing nipple clamps, try cordless vibrating nipple clamps and see how they like the many sensations these toys can give.

Always listen to what your partner tells you — slow down or stop if anyone becomes uncomfortable, and if things don’t go as planned, keep a sense of humor and gracefully switch activities. If you both know you enjoy power play, where one of you is dominant and the other submissive, then you’ll definitely want to experiment with “forced” rimming, where he or she sits on your face, or crams your face into her or his bottom and commands you to “lick!” The ante in these wicked love games is upped considerably when the submissive’s hands are tied (as they lick or receive licking).

Those already versed in the S/M arts might be inclined to employ some of the easy, sexy and effective rope bondage techniques in Two Knotty Boys: Showing You The Ropes to keep those submissives still while you torture them with pleasurable licks. Make their nether cheeks shine with a sweet-rosy hue before, during or after rimming with tips from The Compleat Spanker by Lady Green and. Be creative — the limits of S/M-related games and rimming are only your imagination.

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