Female Sex Anatomy For Pleasure: Vagina and Clitoris
by Violet Blue
How to make a girl orgasm or “make a woman cum” is all about pleasure physiology. When you want to go down on your female partner, “eat her out” or “give her head,” knowing how she responds to pleasurable stimulation is the key getting her off. Though all female vaginas and vulvas differ greatly in appearance and response to stimulation, you can figure out what she likes if you know what everything is, and how it responds to different kinds of touch. (Most people call the whole thing the vagina, but the outer bits are frequently called the vulva.)
The clit is on the outer bits (vulva) and is often kind of like a magic button to make a girl come — but you can’t just press it and make it happen, and you have to know that every girl is a little different in how she likes it to be touched to get her off. There are basic things that work, so don’t think it’s a big mystery combination lock. Same goes for the vagina and penis-into-vagina sex. You have to do more than just stick it in and hope for the best to have her come. This is especially true for the clitoris –which is much more extensive and plays a bigger role in orgasm that anyone previously thought. If you are intrigued by what you read here and want to find out more about anatomy (because there is much more), how to give her genital pleasure, details about smell and taste, and oodles of techniques for amazing cunnilingus, pick up The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus (Violet Blue).
Everyone’s genitalia are different, no matter the gender. Vulvas follow a few basic principles in appearance and structure, but color, size, shape and response to stimulation are all unique to the individual. If you’re struggling with the concept of “normal” I suggest that you throw out those airbrushed, made-up (and sometimes liposucked) centerfolds in Playboy, and pick up a copy of the color photography book, Femalia, by Joani Blank. Or, seek out some non-mainstream erotic photo collections. Better yet, if you’re a woman, pick up a hand mirror, spread your legs, and you’ll get to see what “normal” really looks like.
The pubic mound (or mons veneris, or Mound of Venus), is the area over the pubic bone, and is usually covered with hair that can be anywhere from thick and lustrous to thin and wispy. Women wear their hair down there in a variety of styles: all natural and furry, trimmed, waxed into bikini-line obedience, or even shaved completely off. The Mound of Venus tapers eloquently down and between the thighs; this is the area where the inner thighs meet the torso and split into two outer lips around the vaginal opening.
The outer lips are similar in color and texture to the skin found everywhere else, but are usually a little darker and covered with hair. The outer lips are analogous to the male scrotum, and both are formed from the same tissue in utero. Their appearance ranges from full and covering the clitoris and vaginal opening, to thin and revealing the clitoris.
When a woman spreads her legs, you will see a hairless second set of lips that surround the vaginal opening, the inner labia. They come in a variety of sizes and shapes: they can be practically nonexistent or long and prominent –and no matter what size they are, they are never the same on each side. It is common for them to be different sizes. Inner labia come in many shades; pale peach, mauve, shades of pink, burgundy, or dark chocolate, and the color may deepen after childbirth. The inner lips are richly endowed with nerve endings, and the clitoral hood – where they meet at the top of the vaginal opening — is analogous to the foreskin of the penis. Some women enjoy stimulation of the inner lips more than their clitoris.
The clitoral hood houses the glans, or tip, of the clitoris. The clitoris actually extends deep beneath the surface of the vulva. At the top it connects to the pubic bone, and beneath the glans it splits into a wishbone shape, extending under the sides of the vagina all the way to the anus. The sensitive glans (the part that can be seen under the hood) contains 8,000 nerve endings, more than anywhere else in the human body, male or female. If you touch it in an unaroused state, it is so sensitive that it will feel painful to the owner. To begin to touch her clitoris, always use indirect stimulation, such as stimulating it on the side or the legs of the clitoris on either side of the vaginal opening – unless otherwise instructed, of course.
The clitoris is actually a complex clitoral system, connecting nerves, tissues, muscles and ligaments that react with one another when a woman is aroused. The clitoris, the area underneath the inner lips, the ring around the urethra (where urine leaves the body), and the wall of the perineum, all contain erectile tissue which fill with blood and swell upon arousal, sometimes noticeably, sometimes not.
If you gently part her inner lips you might see additional crinkly folds of skin inside. Yep, those crinkly folds are normal, and so are any seemingly “extra” bits of skin — often, parts of the hymen remain intact just inside the vaginal opening. These are called “hymenal tags,” and that more or less every woman has them to some extent. When we women are penetrated for the first time, the hymen breaks — though not always, in some women it stretches at an opening that’s already there. Most of the skin of the hymen that’s left disintegrates, and some tags (or part of the stretched hymen) remain along the vaginal wall.
The G-spot is a ring of spongy erectile tissue surrounding the urethra (where urine leaves the body), located around one to two inches inside the vaginal opening, and is on the front wall of the vagina (the front wall being the “top,” or the direction of the front of your body). Some women really like G-spot stimulation, which you can do with your fingers when you go down on her, but many others don’t find it enjoyable. Ask her if she likes to have her G-spot stimulated, and if she does, only do it when she’s really turned on. When you try it, insert your finger (or fingers) and give a sort of “come hither” stroke along the front wall of her vagina. When aroused, it will feel firm to the touch. Now, do exactly what she says…
And girls: Kegel exercises will give you more control down there, make you more able to have orgasms, make them stronger, and are incredibly powerful to increase your genital and urinary health (they can make you feel tighter, too). Please do read what I think is the ultimate Kegel exercise resource guide by The Mayo Clinic (mayoclinic.com).