Etsy Ecstasy: Vagina Dentata Glow-In-the-Dark Panties

by Thomas Roche on December 12, 2011

 

What I love the most about these vagina dentata panties on Glukkake’s Etsy store is not just that the teeth glow in the dark…but that they’re images of actual teeth.

Like anyone familiar with vaginas that bite,  Glukkake knows that they don’t sport some cartoon snaggletooth; a pussy needs molars.

Well, there are numerous molars here, plus a few canines, complete with roots. Silkscreened by hand on American Apparel spandex cotton panties, the image is a row of x-rayed teeth, which explains why they glow in the dark. These NOM-able knickers also come in red. Says the Etsy store:

Never fear dancing on a mirrored surface in a skirt again. Perfect for deterring up-skirt photographers and disturbing your lovers!

Those of you truly obsessed with bony protrusions, incidentally, can also pick up Glukkake’s silkscreened spine shirt.

What better way to beg the toothsome orifice on your holiday list to make you her chew toy?

Photo by Lauren Goldberg, from Glukkake’s Etsy store.

Thomas Roche

Thomas Roche's first novel, The Panama Laugh, is a gonzo military science fiction zombie apocalypse that has been compared to the writings of Jim Thompson and Hunter S. Thompson. He is also a widely published author of sex-positive erotica and the occasional purveyor of horror and crime-noir short stories, and a commentator on sex, crime, culture and politics.

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{ 3 comments }

1 Sybil December 14, 2011 at 9:52 am

And if the pants were edible…

2 Thomas Roche December 13, 2011 at 9:42 am

Justin — I couldn’t agree more!

3 Justin December 13, 2011 at 5:33 am

That’s actually hilarious, if a lover of mine wore those I would laugh heartily, then tell her I love how geeky she is! Anyone can wear underwear that looks like horrible teeth and just look silly, it takes a truely intelligent person to wear something with Actual teeth on their nether regions

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