I don’t usually post Reddit threads, but when I do I make sure it’s got a story about a guy dipping his penis in varnish. Wait, what!? No, really – this is one of the funniest Reddit threads I’ve ever had the simultaneous pleasure and horror to read.
You be careful; don’t read this while drinking a beverage near your computer or anywhere you need to be quiet – and probably not before you have a big scary sex date or if fluids make you faint. These are cautionary tales, my friends. And most of them are hilarious, albeit painful…
BoNidle: Trying to be romantic before a BJ I decided to dip my dick in champagne for her. HEALTH WARNING: Alcohol in your urethra stings like fuck.
modestmachine: You thoughtful bastard. At least you were trying to do the right thing.
BoNidle: It didn’t end there, I kneed her in the face trying to get up and run to the bathroom to wash my dick out.
After that neither of us was in the mood to continue.ThePhenix: And that’s how I met your mother…
papsmearcampaign: did that with varnish once
goodizzle: WHAT?
What is your most awkward sex story? (AskReddit)
Photo by Merkley??? who has a show in SF at 111 Minna on 11.11.11.
Thanks for this Violet. I’m jetlagged, have been up since 3am. That thread had me giggling in a helpless, dazed and hysterical fashion. Those first 10 stories are priceless.