November 2011

What I really like about the high-minded Star Wars fan site Slutty Stormtroopers (image above via) is that the “slutty” subjects are of all genders (a number of hot guys, to boot), and that it’s much more than stormtroopers but not all the usual suspects. I mean, we keep trying to raise awareness that not all the girls want to be Slave Leia. And there are plenty of those to be found on this Tumblr blog. But there is a lot of everything, the curation is quite good, and you can shout “It’s a trap!” at your monitor to your heart’s content with good reason… I also really liked the selections at Fuck Yeah Girls And Star Wars (image below via, yes they’re wearing the discontinued R2D2 swimsuit by Black Milk.

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Last year when my friend Veronica expressed her disappointment that “Cyber Monday” was not, in fact, about cybersex, I was inspired to begin this annual post: Cyber(Sex) Monday.

If you’re looking for a Cyber Monday post for tech and gadget fetishists (without the sex but including Kindle Fire cases, nerdy cat toys and more) check out my *other* new post Offbeat Holiday Gifts for Geeks.

Below you’ll find hot toys for gifting this year, and a few items that I think are truly excellent standards. I’ve provided shopping options in the below links, but if you decide to shop at Babeland I just got their Cyber Monday email saying you can take 20% off your Babeland order with code CYBER20 – today through Wednesday, Nov. 30. I personally endorse the sellers I link to. Shopping in the UK? I highly recommend Lovehoney UK.

• See also: Cyber(Sex) Monday: Top Sex Toys to Give and Get (2010)

Kits

• Coco de Mer – ‘Naughty’ Gift Kit (£140.00)
  It contains a Lelo Mia Vibrator, Coco de Mer adjustable cock ring, Coco de Mer black bondage tape, Coco de Mer silk blindfold, Lelo feather teaser, Lelo leather flogger and a bottle of Coco de Mer’s Gentleman’s Relish.
  Coco de Mer

• Jimmyjane Little Afterglow Sampler Set ($50)
  A personal favorite: six Afterglow massage candles are scented with Dark Vanilla, Bourbon, Pink Lotus, Gingersnap, Cucumber Water, and Grapefruit and offer a variety of sensual massage options.
  Babeland : Jimmyjane

• Sex and Romance Kit ($150)
  Contains Babeland Massage Candle, crotchless Peepshow Princess Panty, Babeland Satin Bondage Kit, curved Bcurious vibrator, Laid P.3 Cock Ring, and Babeland Edible Body Chocolate.
  Babeland

• Kinklab Pink Bound Leather Kit ($89.95)
  It contains 2 buckling nylon and pink leather cuffs, 1 pink contour padded leather blindfold with an elastic band, and a leather heart shaped paddle with an easy hang loop.
  Stockroom

• Jimmyjane’s Pleasure Sets (main post image; $7-up)
  They have so many exciting and arousing – and clever – sex and seduction kits, I couldn’t pick just one. See for yourself!
  Jimmyjane Pleasure Sets

Lightly Kinky Gifts

• Bunny Tail Anal Plug ($55)
  This fuzzy puff is securely attached by hand to a black rubber anal plug.
  Stockroom

• Agent Provocateur’s The Game ($21.95)
  Strip Poker with a sophisticated adult twist.
  Agent Provocateur

• Lelo Sensua Suede Whip ($44)
  Soft suede tails go from light-as-a-feather to sternly thuddy with a flick of the wrist, making this compact flogger a great choice for couples looking to ease into kinky/BDSM play.
  Babeland : Lelo

Hot Toys

• Lelo Tiani ($159)
  Tiani’s smooth, U-shaped form slides easily into place, hugging the clit and G-spot in a cuff of remote-controlled vibrating pleasure; the bonus here is a new technology known as SenseMotion where you can change Tiani’s vibration pattern and strength with a mere flick or tilt of your wrist. (Also has a smart manual mode, with a remote control range of up to 39 feet.)
  Amazon : Babeland : Lelo : Lovehoney UK

• For men: The Japanese Tenga Egg and Tenga Flip ($5.50-$64.50)
  The Tenga Egg is the most popular men’s masturbation toy in the world right now; the Tenga Flip is its Cadiallac version (see my post about it here).
  Amazon : Babeland : Lovehoney UK

• Liquid Silk ($13.45)
  The best lube on the planet. Water-based, no flavors or sugars.
  Amazon : Babeland : Lovehoney UK

• Candy Cane ($34.99)
  Made of waterproof, hypoallergenic, odor and phthalate-free Pyrex Glass that wonderfully retains and transmits heat and cold, this firm, hefty stick can conjure delight every day of the year.
  Stockroom

• Fairy Mini Wand ($69.95)
  One of the best toys, ever. This adjustable speed, petite and light wand is a mini Hitachi, and gets extremely powerful.
  Amazon : MyPleasure

• Ophoria Silicone Finger Vibe ($16.99)
  Another personal recommendation: extremely quiet vibrating finger massager made of 100% pure silicone. It’s smooth and flexible for incredible pleasure.
  Amazon : Ophoria : Stockroom

• Ophoria Silicone Anal Beads (A-Chain) ($19.99)
  Body-safe, sterilizable silicone; six oval beads of progressively larger, soft but firm pleasure. Experiment with varying depths of insertion and speeds of removal.
  Amazon : Ophoria : Stockroom

Also recommended: body-safe silicone dildos and plugs from Tantus, and Babes-N-Horny. Someday I want a beautiful Jaguar Harness.

A Little (A Lot!) Outrageous

• The Monkey Rocker ($765.00)
  Amazing non-electric, custom color sex machine with changeable dildo, thrusting controlled
  entirely by the user.
  Monkey Rocker

• Leda Silver Plated Dildo (£920.00)
  ‘Leda’ is hollow cast brass to give the best cast surface while offering weight and density; plated in sterling silver (approximately 15 microns) and polished to a high sheen finish.
  Coco de Mer

• Lelo Earl ($590-990)
  This non-vibrating gentleman’s pleasure object is available in silver or 18K gold plate and is designed to provide targeted prostate massage.
  Babeland : Lelo

• Festoon ($1,310.00)
  Beaded drops that hang in a curve from the sides of the necklace; transforms into a head piece and mouth gag. Smooth polished smokey quartz with 14 kt gold and sterling silver. (I want a set of Variance’s Stockings so bad it hurts.)
  Variance

• Liberator Wedge/Ramp Combo | Black Label ($270)
  This set includes the Wedge (tuck it under the hips to tilt the pelvis for deeper penetration or better oral sex access), the larger Ramp (pair it with the Wedge for countless possible positions), and a leopard mask and cuffs (that clip on to the Wedge or Ramp) to spice things up.
  Babeland : Liberator

Main post photo by Ellen Von Unwerth.

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In the above ad, which was aired on Russian TV in support of Prime Minister Vladimir Putin and President Dmitry Medvedev’s United Russia Party, sports the slogan “Давай сделаем это вместе,” or “Davaite sdelaem eto vmeste,” which translates as “Let’s do it together.”

In it, a hot Russian chick meets up with a tousled Russian hipster at the polls. Following a sultry look or two that expresses just how horny it’s making her to vote, she joins him in the voting booth for a hot fuck, to the (at best) mild disapproval of the oldsters administering the ballots.

Are those older Russians thinking, “Ah, the recklessness of youth is on full display in Mr. Putin’s New Russia?”

Or are they thinking “For this, my father ate rat meat during the battle of Stalingrad?”

The point is to remind Russians to vote in their December 4 election, in which the United Russia Party is expected to face no real opposition. In the ad, as Politico puts it, “the weirdness of [Russia's] fake democracy is on full display…The ad conflates voting and sex in a way that makes no sense but has great production values and a compelling beat.”

There is a compelling beat — I’ll give ‘em that! But as resurgent Russia has gained traction in the world economic community, Russian sex has gotten…interesting. For one thing, in Russia, the blow-up dolls ride you. Back when Moscow was choked by the smoke from wildfires, a Russian photographer released amazingly sexy and weird smog-fetish photos…which, sadly, have since been taken down.

But equally weird is the Western response to Russia’s sex life. The strangest example is the Daily Mail’s legendary 2007 article about the Breed-for-Mother-Russia-style bareback-sexfest supposedly occurring at the youth camp run by right-wing pro-Putin, pro-Kremlin youth group Nashi, or “Ours,” which the Daily Mail claimed was making Russian girls shed their Western underwear and proudly follow wholesome Russian males into breeding pens to further the continuance of the race. Other sources like Radio Free Europe and Time have a far less “stimulating,” but no less disturbing, account of Nashi’s youth-activist goals and methods.

Still, sometimes it seems like Putin’s Russia is devolving into, as Gavin Laessig put it, “an episode of ‘Entourage’ that has nuclear capabilities.”

As Laessig points out, The Medvedev Girls are another weird data point: “presidential cheerleaders.” No, really:

The president of Russia has his own cheerleaders. Not politically or metaphorically…literally attractive young women in tight tops and short skirts. These are the Medvedev Girls, an online activist organization who really love Russian President Dmitry Medvedev.

[Link.]

If it wasn’t for this Reuters picture of Medvedev in front of them, I’d think the whole Medvedev Girls thing was a hoax:

But, nope, there he is, contemplating world domination immediately following his imminent winning touchdown in the Big Game.

And, yes, that’s smilin’ Dmitry himself, right there on the uniforms:

Personally, I think Medvedev looks like he’s trying to grope that boob from the inside, or maybe escape from some Robo-Cheerleader’s chest cavity. I don’t know about you, but I will not sleep well tonight.

Of course, modern Russian opposition forces also have one hell of a spunky sense of humor sometimes. Let’s talk for a moment about Russia’s radical arts group Voina, which got a grant from the Russian government. That was, in fact after they painted an enormous penis (horizontally) on a drawbridge opposite the St. Petersburg offices of the Federal Security Service or FSB (the successor to the KGB). Once hoisted to the vertical, it provided a dramatic vertical statement in support of the rising Russian arts-boner and a dysphemistic middle-finger to FSB authoritarianism:

And, no, Russia is not Ukraine…but do I really need an excuse to remind you about Femen, the Ukranian women’s protest group? They don’t identify as Feminist; they’re anti-porn and anti-sex-work, despite parading around topless with their rampant Ukranian hotness on display. But Femen’s apparent contradictions just helps reaffirms to me the absolute mindfuck-to-Westerners provided by the attitude toward sex in the former Soviet states. I’m convinced that a healthy dose of this comes from the rampant exploitation and corruption that took over those states when the Soviet Union fell, which gave sex work and porn a completely different context than it could ever have in the West.

But then, in much the same way that the United States and its allies seem to have been wholly unprepared for the arrival of Russia on the world economic stage, it seems like we’re equally unprepared on a cultural level. Femen being banned from Facebook is just one example of the many ways in which the West’s media infrastructure is failing to serve the pro-democracy citizens of the resurgent states of Eastern Europe.

But then again, at least Russia’s ruling party’s polling-place sex videos have a stirring techno beat. And isn’t that what really matters?

UPDATE: As Dia Lacina points out in the comments, however freshly oversexed Russian democracy may seem from certain angles, it’s also an astonishingly homophobic nation. Nikolai Aleeksev’s November 26 Guardian article on St. Petersburg’s anti-gay bill — which passed easily this month — is disturbing as hell. Aleeksev aptly calls the law “medieval barbarity.” The wretched law takes as is inspiration a similar law passed in 2006 in the Russian city of Ryazan. And the Moscow mayor has equated homosexuality with Satanism.

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Jut Magazine is a digital photo editorial magazine that has been 6 months in the making, and their first offering – The Manifesto (embedded above) – has a lot to show for high-end erotic photography. The Manifesto features work from 12 photographers including George Pitts, Harper Smith, Karl Baxter and more.

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