Comments on: Hilariously Bad Sex Advice From The Usual Suspects (Cosmo, Etc.)

By: L

Sun, 12 Dec 2010 01:00:13 +0000

Cosmo has been a parody of itself since Helen Gurley Brown stepped down. Her successors have imitated her breathless enthusiasm, but not her winking wit. I stopped reading in the Bonnie Fuller days.

By: NF

NF — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 23:19:10 +0000

Years ago I was one of the editors on a UK sex partwork. Thankfully I did the psychology/relationship/travel strands so aside from a cross-head: The Thais That Bind, produced mostly blameless copy. But I so felt for the readers who followed and believed (there were lettters to prove it) the sex strand. No chance of simple, uncomplicated sex for them, ever. No humour, either. Just a life of increasing anxiety and decreasing libido. And yes, there were/are writers and sexperts who take this stuff seriously. We used to hide whenever they came into the office.

By: Geek Porn Girl

Geek Porn Girl — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 06:56:39 +0000

I’m confused. Isn’t “Vadge” Madonna’s nickname?

By: Pete

Pete — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 21:42:12 +0000

“Pop his socks in the microwave for twenty seconds, then slip them on him.”
A) That sounds very sexy if I was into dense chicks and my feet were always cold
B) Socks and a throbbing cock always go together – -in jack off time.

By: myLoveOwnsme

myLoveOwnsme — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 14:28:19 +0000

This was distressing and hilarious! But also, I feel anyone taking this tripe seriously just has to learn by trial and error. They’ll soon come to the conclusion that “breathing heavily” on a guys junk will probably just confuse him. Asthma attack? Smell funky?

By: ThePaganTemple

ThePaganTemple — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 05:08:43 +0000

I wouldn’t be too sure of that, Violet. They know they are purveyors of puff and fluff, so why should they take it personally.If they’re asking you for quotes, inquire about an article submission.

By: violet

violet — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 08:31:20 +0000

I just want to mention that with almost comic timing, Cosmo emailed me today for quotes on one of these kinds of articles.

Cosmo does NOT read my blog!

By: Guy Sez

Guy Sez — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 19:25:22 +0000

Soak a washcloth in warm water and gently run it from his belly button to where his pubic hair starts.

WTF? Keep going, you lunatic!

By: Erik

Erik — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 17:02:39 +0000

Oh, Cosmo. You really know how to pant on my bullocks.

By: Daniel

Daniel — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 16:37:23 +0000

Seems you still have room for parody. Colbert has made a career out of parodying Fox News, which seems impossible to top in its natural state until you see Colbert take it just a little further into utter lunacy. You just need to come up with a French pronunciation for your name while in lampoon mode.

Perhaps starting with niche topics would be an appropriate warm-up. Please complete the article titled, “Eleven Erotic Uses for Velcro and Dental Floss.” Who wouldn’t read that? And after you get some laughs from your world, go ahead and sell it to the alternate reality of Cosmo.

By: ThePaganTemple

ThePaganTemple — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 15:33:33 +0000

Maybe these magazines exist mainly to appeal to people’s vanities and reassure them regarding their basic insecurities. I guess they have to do that to remain profitable. Who’s going to pay regular subscription rates to get a magazine that tells them their losers, with limited potentials for improvement at best. You probably get more fluff pieces than anything of any real substance. I wouldn’t know, I don’t waste my time with the crap.

By: David

David — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 12:47:45 +0000

I think everything that need’s to be said about Cosmo’s sex tips can be summed up here…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTQnUTgLssI&feature=player_embedded

By: Fiona

Fiona — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 06:37:42 +0000

Needs a little IN MY PANTS action to add to the “then lick it off”

By: Peter

Peter — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 05:57:58 +0000

“Vadge?” Seriously? That sounds either like some sort of medical condition or the nickname for some sherif’s deputy in a 1970s cop movie. But I’m going to run with the medical condition here. “Sorry I’m so late, but I had to go to the doctor to see about this bad case of the vadge I caught last week.” (Naturally, it takes the definite article… like “the grip” or “the ague.”)

What is it with all the weird slang that’s been popping up lately? “Vadge” is even worse than “vajayjay,” and I didn’t think that was possible. I wish people would just speak plainly. Come on people! Let’s not be embarrassed or prudish. Everyone knows the correct term is “hoo-hoo!” If it was good enough for Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, it’s good enough for me.