I am also currently reading the Charlie Glickman article, “How to Ask for Sex.” As a frequent reader of your website, and someone who frequently reads articles on sexuality (i find the topic very interesting), I can honestly say that Glickman’s article is the first I can remember ever having come across that actually offers useful information. This is what most men (techs included) are searching for when they are talking about sexuality. Dealing with women is such a perpetual minefield for men, that after years of marriage and three kids, I can still get useful information from his article. The problem is always, how do we get there without scaring her off; how can I ask without her getting shut down; where is the line between not enough and too much? You can say communication is the key, but I would argue that no matter how we try to communicate, it is often wrong. If you flat out ask, it kills the romance; ask too much and you are nagging; not enough and the message doesn’t get through. All men are asking because they want to get some, and since we don’t get a lot of help from women with how to do it, we keep bringing it up in discussion, hoping for a pearl of wisdom in the sea of oysters.

In fact, I would say a lot of the discussion from straight men, with regard to gay men, is directly related to this topic. Ultimately, most gay men are still just ‘guys’ that understand how men communicate with each other, and therefore theoretically can lend some greater insight into the matter. I don’t care if your straight, gay, bi, a, etc. And when I say I don’t care, I don’t mean act a fool. I mean I DON’T CARE. It’s none of my business and I don’t want to know. Who you do at home in your own bed is your business, not mine. I don’t want to see any overt PDA’s, from anyone; please get a room. It’s not bad or wrong, it’s just tacky.

And you’re absolutely right that “Gay Sexuality is not a Threat.” However, unwanted sexual advances from anyone can be seen as a threat; or at least very rude. And considering that men are typically less inclined to take no for an answer than women; it certainly leads to typecasting. I have had gay men hit on me, and even after saying. “Thanks, I’m straight,” (with courtesy and appreciation I might add), they still would not let it go. The difference I think is that any of the women that hit on me and I was not interested; I do not think they saw getting me into bed as a personal challenge. And yes, I certainly understand the “one bad apple” argument; likewise I think it is hypocritical to act a fool and then blame it on homophobia. I have friends that are gay, I’ve been out to party with them, and I’ve actually had people get mad at me for being a straight man in the gay part of town. I’ve personally felt the discrimination go both ways. Bottom line, unless the person is someone that you are interested in dating and/or going to bed with, than their sexuality is irrelevant, and none of your damn business.

Last but not least, the rapists clearly have much deeper issues that need to be addressed. On the bright side, I’m sure they will have many opportunities to work through their issues while in prison.

“Charges against them include harassment, criminal possession of a weapon, unlawful imprisonment, assault, robbery and sexual abuse as hate crimes.”

Unlawful imprisonment is a fairly serious charge. Robbery is kind of serious as well. But harassment? Criminal possession of a weapon? Assault?! Where’s battery? Assault is putting someone in fear that they’ll be harmed, no the actual harming itself (that would be battery). And sexual abuse? That’s one I haven’t heard. Is that a lesser charge than sexual assault?

If it had been four women that were attacked in this way (especially white women), the suspects would be tried, convicted, drawn, quartered, and fed to the sharks by now. It seems to me these charges are pitifully minor for the crime that was committed, and I wonder if it’s because the victims were gay men. (By the way, if I’m off on my reading of the law above, or if anybody with legal insight can explain to me why they were charged as they were, please let me know!)

Of course, if men who hate gays followed their own twisted logic, shouldn’t they be happy? Shouldn’t they think, well, the more gays the better! More women for us! Just goes to show that they don’t think at all.

As I was saying, gay is … well fine but can you help me with that dock and let me know if you want any help with ‘etc’ and by the way what was that comedian’s show like you were going to go to’ (pretty hilarious rendition of one of the bits thereafter was done and I spit beer….),

It comes down simply to this folks, and who could have said it better than Robert Bolt in “A Man for All Seasons” about Sir Thomas More, Chancellor of England under King Henry the 8th:

“What would you do? Cut a great road through the law to get after the Devil? … And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned round on you – where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat? This country is planted thick with laws from coast to coast, Man’s laws, not God’s, and if you cut them down — and you’re just the man to do it — do you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then? Yes, I give the Devil benefit of law, for my own safety’s sake!”

Think very very carefully on that message.

Everyone else’s safety and freedom are absolutely essential to you enjoying your own. Their protection is also your own.

Allow anyone to infringe on anyone’s safety and freedom and you allow it to creep ever closer to infringing on your own.

Regards,
etc.

To your post however, I must have been sleeping under a rock with Rip Van W but I hadn’t encountered the stereotype you describe in straight guys. Maybe it’s a generational thing. On the contrary, gay friends (of those that I know are) pretty much appeal to this straight guy in terms of “hey what do you think about ‘xyz’s chances this season” or “could I get your help this weekend with the dock – it’s gotta come out of the lake soon – bbq

Also, am I the only one that think that the homophobic gay rapists raise a new level of stupidity for all Humanity? They deserve a medal or a price, they are more stupid than all of the Darwin Award winners put together.
I mean, they had an erection seeing a male anus, they inserted their rigid penis in a male anus full of their friend’s semen, and that didn’t even ringed a bell in their mind…
It is clearly more stupid than the guy who played Russian roulette with an automatic gun or the one who through an lighted dynamite stick to his dog, and those two had a (post-mortem) price thanking them from all Humanity (well, the part of Humanity sharing my sense of humour.)
Those rapists are setting new standards of stupidity to Humanity, they are so high than no one ever imagined that possible, they are changing the world as we know it. Someone should do something about it.

~Rhaco