The crux of Don’s character is that he doesn’t know who he really is. (Or perhaps he does and just doesn’t like or respect who he really is–the one woman who knows him best is someone he is not attracted to) We are taught that it makes us special, not only as women but as people, when a partner can be their true selves with only us. And that’s the appeal of Don Draper imo. And yet, feminism teaches us that we must accept ourselves before we can be of any use to a partner. (if that were really true you would think Pete Campbell would be the most attractive man on the show :p ) These two messages are at war with each other and I don’t think we’ve really resolved them in our culture–not for women anyway. It’s not as prevalent in our culture for men. They aren’t taught to want helpless women anymore. That’s why viewers think they love Joan–they think she knows who she is, inside and out. That she fully accepts herself. I don’t think that’s true.

Back to Don…
He has affairs because he isn’t satisfied with his wife, not because he doesn’t really love her-he does. It’s only because she doesn’t love the real him. How could she–she has no clue who he truly is. She knows this husband and father character he’s invented, and not the rest of him. The parts of him that he keeps hidden away. He cheats with these other women and you have to notice that he puts on a new persona with each and every long term affair he’s had. I can’t be the only one who’s noticed that by now. The basics are pretty much the same but there’s an awful lot that he adapts to the particular woman he dallies with. He’s completely different with the elementary school teacher than he is with Betty for instance. He’s trying on personalities until one sticks.

I think the appeal of Don Draper is that you could be the one that fits him. That he could be fully himself with you.

Now that his anchor is gone (his wife, his role) he can’t cope. He’s drunk every night and isn’t even looking for something stable. He’s looking for one night stands or professionals. He’s lost all centre–there’s nobody to pretend for. He’s working for himself so even there in his work life he’s coming off as somewhat unstable. He’s very unattractive this season imo. But some women seem to find this even more attractive–I think it’s because he seems so lost and potentially “fixable”

Don isn’t a bad boy. Not at all. He doesn’t mean to hurt anyone (usually) He’s just lost and doesn’t really know it. But we do.

Men are very good at compartmentalizing “fuckable” and “dateable”. I can understand the possibility that they’re more intertwined for women, but I don’t see how either extreme can fail to exist, especially when you consider that the Darwinian model of female sexuality (partner with a man who will be around to help raise the kids, but sneak off with the guys with good genes while you’re ovulating) and the model proposed by Christopher Ryan in “Sex at Dawn” (the women in a group have sex with the men in their group, and uncertain paternity leads all of the men to feel responsible for providing for the children) both seem to explicitly provide a drive for sex without partnership.

BS. Maybe in your part of the country but everywhere else — it is. I can tell you that every woman I know (from Ohio) isn’t intellectually analyzing Don Draper. They’re using words like — you said it yourself — “I’d tap that”.

And your quote doesn’t really help you much, all you are saying is that Don Draper is just another Don Juan, looking for an upgrade from the previous model. Yeah, Don Draper is all hot — until he cheats on you. I don’t think he’s so complex. Just another archetype.