thank you. thank you, thank you, thank you.

I needed a hug and came here to catch up. I’ll come back every time I need another squeeze.

you are all amazing; I am so lucky you visit me :)

All I can say is that you are being true to self and putting it out there. Frankly, that scares people. Trolls who spend their times denigrating people do so to project their own fears onto others so that they don’t ever have to be honest to themselves. And lets face it, trolls are nothing more than anonymous bullies. To which I say, fuck them, you or anyone else is not responsible for their shortcomings.

Being true to self means being honest about you to a fault. It takes tremendous amount of strength and conviction to advice people to follow their own state of bliss. Please don’t despair. There are people who love and respect you for being you, for being human. Continue being you and keep doing what you are doing, because you have touched many people’s lives including my own.

Absofuckinglutely. When I first got out of my marriage and was getting my life back in order, your books were the first ones I read. When I’ve encountered people in similar situations, I’ve unhesitatingly recommended your books.

There are a lot more bloggers and educators since I’ve been on the scene (2005). And yet you continue to set an example by doing what you’ve always done. I remember my excitement when you first started linking to me, and your kindness to me over the years. As time passes, the ones who are doing the good work will still be around. To paraphrase a dear friend of mine, people eventually figure it out.

Your chosen family and friends love you, but it can be hard to let them in.

I am sure it is worse for you because people seem to think they can say anything to somebody who is not intimidated by sex, in particular if you are a woman. I have never written to your blog before but I think you are great. I think what you do is important. I know how being lonely can sometimes punch a hole right through you. I know how it is even worse when you feel like you are surrounded by great friends. Sometimes it just gets a hold of me and I work really hard to shake it loose.

I hope that the comments above help to reinforce you have friends out here. We don’t always show are face but we are glad you are here.

You have friends all over this planet. So many of us wish we could find your voice, to say what you say, in the way you say it. I honestly believe you help people like me articulate against hate every day. – in the game of life, you win.

I am a honored father, husband, brother, son and person who knows that what you are becoming is god for the world. Your impact goes beyond geography, beyond SF, beyond America, to all beings.

It does take a lot to become who you are and I include you as one of the many elements in becoming who I am.

People who are negative may eventually go beyond embracing their negativity, hate and pain to face themselves and turn toward unity, kindness, positivity. Love has many forms. I teach my own and yours is an element of it. My children know you are important and that is what I can offer you as your impact on the world.

I work in a technical/engineering field and use a complex niche software everyday to program and operate machines that measure things very precisely. There are some forums dedicated to the software. I am the only one at my company that does the work I do. I have a nice measurement lab all to myself. Most of the people who do similar work have similar work environments. Consequently the off topic side of these forums see a lot of action. I recently took a couple of the teabrainers to task over the very issue that brought you the fresh hatetroll. I pointed out to them the lopsideness of their argument, how the women who engage in sex work are doing something shameful, while in the same post they admit to desiring them. I told them there are many who don’t see things that way; people who think positively about sex instead of negative and dirty. I named you along with Sasha Grey and Susie Bright. There are others to. Bitchy Jones springs to mind. Collectively you have changed the way I think about sex and my sex life a great deal in the last 10-15 years. For the better.

Thank You.

One mind at a time, things will improve . . . at least a little.

I think you are an amazing person. You have chosen a difficult life. People that are different from the norm or from what society expects have a difficult life.

I hope you read all these comments by people who appreciate what you are doing.
Go on! Fight. You are not alone. Even people here in South Africa appreciate what you are doing. My gf likes your site as well.

I hope you find an mazing partner to share your life with.

But I also think sharing your life with friends is amazing!

I don’t want to have kids in this world. My friends, my gf, my family and my cat is what is precious in my life. You seem to have a few ingredients of this as well. Enjoy your friends and cat for now :)

When the time is right you will find someone. You are so amazing I am sure most men would love you! Even I would have if I were single and in the US.

Cats seem to have a habit of sleeping in the middle of the bed. Remember….it is actually their bed and we are there slaves :)

Chin up. Enjoy the small things. Enjoy the sunset everyday and your friends laughing.

Enjoy life.

Sure you know who this is. Read a Bit of Khahil Gilbran.

You are an island and, for now, without the pieces that you need.

But it will come.

If single still at 50 call me :)

I hope Violet you don’t let this point in your life get you down and discourage you in any part of life. The courage you have for keeping this blog so you can speak out on matters of sex is an accomplishment of bravery and insight. For this, you have my respect and admiration.

Have another cupcake. You’ve earned it.

Did I mention you’re awesome?

~M

I have only very recently started reading your blog, though I’d heard your name spoken with respect, excitement, and even a touch of awe on many occasions standing in front of various bookshelves.

Today I need to thank you, to let you know I’m grateful for the tears I shed as that place in my chest cried out, recognizing your words as echoes of my own feelings. I was tempted to write out a point-for-point comparison, but I know it wouldn’t read like much more than “look! we’re cool ’cause we’re exactly the same, isn’t that awesome?”

Since “awesome” isn’t quite how I’d describe it, and the only other things I might offer are the typical full-of-hope, infinitely-positive, cheer-you-up lines that I’d bet you’ve delivered to far more people than I… I’ll simply repeat one last time:

Thank you.

For the pocket-lint’s worth of good the support of random internet strangers is good for, you have mine. You are a hero of mine, and I’ll be sending as much positive energy your way as I can! Thank you, Violet! *hugs*

I’ve kept it there with the unfinished erotic stories, porn scripts and ideas I’ve stocked piled–and slowly these secrets have been eating at me like a slow-acting poison. I know it will one day consume me, unless I “grow up” and face it; as you put it, “become who [I] really [am].” I’ve done things to feed the fire “keeping my ideas close in hand,” literally in my Notes app, but the satisfaction is only temporary. I feel a slight cringe each time someone wants to pass-play “Words with Friends” or asks to check the Internet, only making the weight on my conscious that much more heavier. Ironic enough, I’ve felt this feeling before.

And I know how to free myself, you’ve pointed it out clearly. If I’m being honest with myself, not afraid of the eventual judging, I’ll be rid of globe on my shoulders. But I am afraid, and I am alone in this. My family isn’t exactly absent, but they’ve been feeding the bullshit to me. My circle of closest friends likely haven’t the slightest idea, so I already feel alienated in the crowd. Would they accept me? I trust them enough to assume they would, but it isn’t guaranteed. What to do… sometimes I wish to have the other half of a whole heart.

For the time being, I’ll share this anonymously with you and your community.

As for the trolls, screw ‘em. They’re too narrow minded to see the gaps in their own lives.