December 2009

Image by the girl who tamed the tiger.

I love those end of the year — or this year, end of the decade — sex wrap up articles, lists and posts. I decided not to do one for my column this year, though I may do something to that effect tomorrow here. But for right now, I’m enjoying skimming through the bits and pieces of other people’s “end of” lists. None of them are particularly totally satisfying, but that’s why I think of them as junk food. So far, these have been the most entertaining:

* 2009 review: Sex at the noughties’ end. (newscientist.com)
* The Daily Beast’s Decade in Sex (via Viviane). (thedailybeast.com)
* The 10 Most NSFW Music Videos Of 2009. (stereogum.com)
* Sex scandals 2009: Quotes of the year. (theweek.com)
* Nerve: Top 10 Porn Parodies for 2009. (entertainment.nerve.com)
* Sex and the 405’s Weirdest Sex News of 2009. (sexandthe405.com)
* XBIZ World Magazine Names Top [Sex Industry] News Items of 2009. (xbiz.com)
* XBIZ Premiere Magazine Names Top [Sex Industry] Newsmakers of 2009. (xbiz.com)
* Sexual Losses 2009 – Sexual Icons and Pioneers Who Died in 2009 (sexuality.about.com)

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Image by helenaa75.

A colleague in sex ed posted a great short item about condom use that covers a little known fact about their use: latex condoms dry things out. Even pre-lubricated ones. I can’t count how many times I’ve advised on this topic over the decade, and it always surprises people — and most often, their eyes light up and they realize they’ve experienced it themselves. Or, it solves a problem they’ve been having. No matter how excited everyone gets, condoms always need [water based] lube. Plus, it makes them feel a lot less like they’re there (you’ll be surprised) and keeps them from breaking. Here’s a snip from The Sexademic’s great post:

My roommate breezed through the living room the other night, freshly showered and heady with man-scent, stopping short at my desk. I looked up.

“So,” he asked, “as a- a professional sex educator, do you…uh, do you get free condoms? Condoms that you might have lying around?”

His cologne made sudden sense. I guessed his current lady friend was in town and smiled. “Yeah. I’ll go find some. What size?” He stared at me. I laughed and he finally responded with his hands spaced apart.

After a few moments rummaging around in my various sex supply drawers I put together a little safe sex bag for him. I pointed out the different condoms as well as the packets of lube samples. “Lube is very important when you use condoms. Use it on the inside as well as the outside.”

He eyed the sample packs. “Well, not if you keep things wet enough on your own.”

[Cue internal sex educator alarm] “No! Latex messes with natural lubrication… “(…read more, sexademic.wordpress.com)

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One hour ago I posted on Twitter that bloggers have been served supoeanas and had their computers confiscated for posting TSA guidelines. Yesterday, these bloggers’ posts were the only point of sanity and fact my partner and I could find to use to prepare ourselves to be able to follow the rules and laws in perparation our London-SF flight.

This is a non-sex post, so feel free to skip it and come back in a little bit. Last night I landed from my international London-San Francisco flight; I wrote my SF Chronicle column shortly before boarding and in it you’ll see that before I stepped on the plane I had little idea of what to actually expect in terms of what would happen with my body, my belongings, my privacy and my rights. Human rights, not simply civil or as a US citizen. Everything was guesswork, and all I wanted to do was make sure I was going to follow the rules and not have my stuff taken away from me, my body violated in a pointless search, or wind up detained for a mistake I would have no idea I might be making. That’s how ‘culture of fear’ flying internationally had become 24 hours ago. And I’m a US citizen flying into my own country. Imagine what my boyfriend, who is not a US citizen (but is white) was going through. It’s important to mention his skin color, as it had been reported that whites were distinctly being treated less criminally than others.

We did what everyone else web-savvy and confused was doing: we read blogs. When we tried to find out from the airport — Heathrow — what to expect with security guidelines so we’d know what to pack and how to pack, and everything else… The airport told us to contact our flight carrier. Our airline told us to ask the airport. A pointless loop. We went online. Thankfully, a TSA directive was published here and there, and while we didn’t believe all the rumors on Twitter (always consider the source), we had a basic idea on how to protect ourselves — from the TSA.

As of takeoff, we followed what we learned here, a helpful post with then-new TSA guidelines. The TSA blog, and the TSA itself, were silent and contacted no one who was trying to find out information for travelers; citizens with rights, yo. As you can see, the post has been updated FIVE TIMES, as TSA revisions were made (albeit vaguely) and airlines made changes practically by the hour.

Before getting to the airport, we understood that:

* Our electronics might not be allowed, or the GPS on them was not allowed. No idea how this could be enforced.
* Two screenings and searches; one into the terminal, second at the gate.
* Nothing on the lap the last hour of flight.
* No airline mapping, or awareness of plane position over US airspaces allowed.
* Royalty and their family are exempt from these rules.
* No getting up the last hour of the flight.

Note that last item, and consider that with that rule in place, the passenger who foiled the most recent attack attempt would not have been *allowed* to get out of his seat. And as for the royalty exemption rule, well, you should be VERY concerned about that one.

When we got to the airport, we had been upgraded to business class. This made it more obvious for us to see that as we passed through the first security check, everyone was photographed while going through security — except people traveling in business and first class. The second security check was a pocket-by-pocket, person-by-person search with pat down that made the plane late for departure by almost two hours. So, don’t forget to add those hours to your overall travel plans, and reconsider where and how you spend your vacation money and time.

Of the above list, only the double search was in place and enforced. You cannot play by the rules if you don’t know what they are. You cannot follow the rules if they change while you are offline. You can’t obey the law if the law is subject to change without notice. By going after the bloggers who posted the directive, the TSA has validated that this was a real directive at the time of its publication. And by doing all of this, the TSA has effectively violated its own TOS.

The worst part of it all, the most heartbreaking, was watching them pat down and thoroughly search children under three. This system is fucking broken, people.

The reason I did this post: The bloggers that published the TSA directive, which had been disseminated on airline websites, have just been served subpoenas by TSA agents, and have had their computers confiscated.

Read: Paying a price for setting the record straight?

See also: President Obama, It’s Time to Fire The TSA

Update 01.01.10: TSA has dropped the subs: TSA ends journalist subpoenas over leaked memo

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Human hair whips, blonde and auburn, respectively.

Right before the holidays I got a chance to visit one of the London Coco de Mer stores (there are two; there are also two stores in the US, Los Angeles and the brand *spanking* new New York store). It wasn’t any ordinary visit to a Coco store — not that a visit to these high-end, one-of-a-kind boutiques could ever be ordinary.

For instance, I found out that each store is unique and has exquisitely handpicked stock from local sex toy and sex accessory artisans. I had the very gracious opportunity to be invited to the posh Brompton Cross / South Kensington store for a meeting and personal tour with the amazing Sam Roddick, who showed me everything you might miss at first glance, from the delicate filigree-like background panels detailing lighthearted Victorian-esque naughty bits (custom made for the store and very subtle yet filthy upon inspection), to the museum-quality stock. And not only did I get to spend hours with Sam (and hatch nefariously fun plans for VB-Coco projects next year) — I also got permission to photograph the store.

All the images are in this set — Flickr link; turn safesearch off to see all pics, or click yourself after the jump to see a selected gallery. And what is Sam Roddick like? Funny, irreverent, sexually devious, brilliant and a ridiculous amount of fun to have loud sexually intelligent and raunchy brainstorming conversations in a London restaurant with. Our time was not just inspiring, but one of my 2009 highlights. YAYZ!

Full disclosure: Coco de Mer USA is a lovingly handpicked sponsor of Tiny Nibbles — among the supporters I’ve personally chosen to partner with and who make this blog possible. This post is not part of the sponsorship, they didn’t know I was going to do it, and I’m pleased to share the pics and love.

[SATISFY your CURIOSITY and CONTINUE READING…]

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Photo of h4wt Sexy Geek runner-up Dr. Kiki Sanford by Mike O’Donnell.

Better late than unsexy; this year’s nerd lust list is being posted a few days after the traditional date, yet more carefully considered than usual and hotter than your MacBook Pro’s thigh-burning battery. Why more carefully considered? For one, there are more sexy geeks than ever and the research and nominations were of more volume than any previous year. Secondly, with the mainstreaming of many social media services beyond the realms of actual card-carrying technophiles, there are more celebrity posers than ever, boasting numbers and fans but with zero geek cred other than notoriety and access. Undeserved fame and Photoshop does not a sexy geek make. But wow — shout it high and Tweet it far; this year’s sexy geeks are the finest combination of delicious nerdiness, fire, mischevousness and yumminess on offer. Thank you, everyone, on all channels (like Twitter), for all of your nominations. You won’t see these sexy smarties in tired old mainstream media magazine/website hot lists *because they’re actually hot* and that’s worth the price of admission alone. And again: this list contains people we know, and some snacky people who might have partners — it is all in fun, respect, admiration, and the love of sexy geeks.

Runners-up — those who made it agonizing to keep the list at ten:

Tammer Saleh is a Ruby developer that makes me weak. They shouldn’t be allowed to be this sexy. It’s like, against the Geneva Convention or something.
Lisa Bettany (mostlylisa.com) is the world’s sexiest photography geek.
MG Siegler (mgsiegler.com) exudes an irresistible combination of young James Spader and Don Draper.
Dr. Kiki Sanford (kirstensanford.com) blinds us with science and unstoppable beauty.
Joshua Topolsky (joshuatopolsky.com) runs Engadget and makes us swoon.
Laura Gluhanich (lauraglu.tumblr.com) comes across as understated but up close becomes intoxicatingly sexy.
Marissa Louie (twitter.com/malouie) is just firey, effervescent and gorgeous.
Anselm Hook (hook.org) is one nerdy sexy mountain man.
Amanda Wixted (amandawixted.com) has to be the world’s tastiest game developer.
Joe Bolenbaugh (loveyourhelpdesk.com) plays the super-sexed up help desk boy in the Love Your Help Desk videos, forcing the hot fantasy pizza delivery man to find a new job.
Glenda Bautista (agendacide.com) lives in NYC now, so I can officially come out about how totally insanely hot this geek girl is without making it awkward (until SXSW, anyway). Look her up; delicious, brainy, and pure hotness.

Photo of Giannii Calvert by thekenyeung (thelettertwo.com).

Recklessly handsome, smart, funny and a hardcore music geek, Giannii Calvert has the kind of brown eyes you can get lost in and the kind of brains that make getting lost pretty fun. After co-founding a music label, he took the risk of founding his own label with success and working as a freelance secret agent for digital think tank Undercurrent. He’s been a social network researcher, worked as coComment’s Community Manager and then got snatched up by lucky Disqus. Now he cultivates the Disqus community, leaves a trail of broken hearts all over San Francisco and sidelines in creating music and animation for short films, TV, commercials and web shows.

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Photo of Amber Case by kk+ (Kris Krug).

If the fact that Amber Case is a ‘cyborg digital anthropologist’ doesn’t get your blood running hot, pair that with how drop-dead stunning she is and you’ve got the stuff that nerdy dreams are made of. Currently making all the boys, girls, various genders and most mammals too flustered to think straight in Portland (Oregon), Case founded CyborgCamp, a conference on the future of humans and computers. She’s made audiences drool from the podium at MIT’s Futures of Entertainment, Inverge: The Interactive Convergence Conference, Ignite Portland, Ignite Boulder and more. She previously wrote for Discovery Channel’s Nerdabout.com and is at work writing a book on “applying anthropological techniques to better understand industry ecosystems.” Girl crush? Yes, indeed.

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Photo of Whit Scott by stevegarfield (Steve Garfield).

Let’s just get out of the way the fact the Whit Scott is married to a very lucky girl and allow ourselves to ogle the man’s model-like features and heart-racing smile. While Scott looks like he’d be at home in front of the camera for Abercrombie and Fitch, he’s actually a devil in disguise *behind* the camera and is one of the most talented web video shooters and editors in the business. He once traveled around the world in 187 days, blogging every minute of it. An understated one, he is actually all over the ‘net and behind most of the tech-video scenes (behind his camera), and when he’s not pulling off capers like winning a Ford Fiesta with his mad video skillz, he’s observing and making subtle commentary on the uneasy marriage of social media and entertainment. Sexy, yes — but also the wickedly talented guy you want on your team if you can get him.

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Photo of Jiz Lee by Joseph W. Carey (Stark-Arts.com).

Power babe Jiz Lee stops us in our tracks whether in a seriously butch suit or attending an art opening in little but eyeliner, a leather corset and rope. The self-described genderqueer geek and “web slave” quietly hacks on everything within reach while consistently pushing for more LGBTQ visibility at tech conferences such as SXSWi, and Lee develops and maintains various websites, online marketing campaigns and affiliate programs for small businesses, non-profit organizations and independent artists both in Lee’s full-time job, and “an odd assortment of side projects that never ever seem to end.” Arrestingly magnetic Lee is also a certifiable phone fetishist.

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Photo of Paul Carr by Paul Clarke.

Unerringly attractive Paul Carr is a Brit who comes off as dryly handsome, yet quickly ups the temperature in any room with one of his trademark cynical smiles — though luckily he comes with dozens of warning labels, not the least of which is warning innocent bystandresses not to date *or* employ him at any cost. We’re sure many ignore the ‘don’t touch the hot thing’ safety signs and proceed with no caution whatsoever with this TechCrunch columnist, who is a serious geek in his own right and a refreshingly self-proclaimed “New Media Whore.” He’s an author, tech writer, all-around problem child, and a force to look out for in the tech landscape.

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Photo of Angela Natividad by Steve Hall.

Her Hotness Angela Natividad calls herself a ‘compulsive communicator’ yet while we arrive to her communication channels for the scrumptious lady herself, we’re compelled to stay for the whip-smart wit and her outstanding, provocative observations about the terrain she traverses: advertising, branding and technology (and gender). She is absolutely gorgeous and has been seen being hit on by celebs and pretty much anyone lucky enough to enjoy her down-to-Earth character and glamorous countenance; but what we love about Paris-based Natividad (besides her strategic wisdom) is that she’s the kind of girl you want to be seen with *and* hang out with. Currently she’s the lovely hostess of AdVerve, edited Marketing Vox and Adrants, and is a branding and content counselor extraordinaire.

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Photo of Sirus by Adam Cecchetti.

Sirius (Mikhail “sirus” Davidov) is the kind of boy who makes nerd girls weak in the knees: insanely hot, hackery, fun and funny, a code junkie — a ‘code whisperer’ — and a tried-and-true melty hacker boy… We’re all glad he ‘caved’ and started blogging (as few hot hacker boys actually do) so we can drool and affectionately stalk him a bit more, and we can easily forgive that he was a Software Development Engineer / Test Intern at Microsoft. Now he’s the Security Consultant at Leviathan Security Group which is probably enough of a business card (combined with those eyes) to make the boys and girls ready all available ports for routine checks and making our security protocols just enough of a challenge to make it interesting. Wow.

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Photo of Amanda Coolong by Vissago.

Amanda Coolong is not just another pretty face, though saying she’s ‘easy on the eyes’ as a tech correspondent for TechZulu.com is both a truism and an understatement. She’s classically beautiful but don’t let that distract you from the tech industry savvy supercomputer of a brain cooking behind those eyes. She’s one of the few PR people I’ll actually admit to liking; in addition to being CCO, EP and the face of SoCal tech company focused TechZulu, Coolong lives in LA and does public relations for VC-funded tech startups, knows her way around telcos, the wireless industry, IT security, and more.

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Photo of Brady Forrest by Randy Stewart.

The story goes like this: I walked into a San Francisco bar and noticed a really cute guy was staring at me. It made me nervous and I turned away from him. After a few minutes of being stared at by the hot guy, he tapped me on the shoulder and said — “Hey Violet, it’s me! Brady!” After knowing Seattle-based Brady Forrest as a colleague for several years, this recent experience coupled with the overwhelming number of nominations Forrest had in my inbox (and the astounding awareness Forrest has for geeks of all stripes), adding up to making him the #1 male sexy geek for 2010. He’s known for organizing (the dearly departed) ETech, and the main man behind the extremely popular Ignite sessions, which pop up all over the US, where Forrest curates lineups of nerds with all sorts of obsessions for the shortest, liveliest presentations you’ll ever see onstage about seriously nerdy subjects. This means that of all the people in the world, Forrest knows his geeks, and knows who’s the geekiest of them all on an overwhelming spectrum of topics; there’s no one in the world like him. He’s like The Geek Whisperer. And he’s drop-dead sexy. He’s taken, but that doesn’t mean we can’t stop enjoying (or in my case, being momentarily flustered) by the superb view.

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Photo of Crystal Williams by Joi Ito.

She is a clever clever girl indeed — and makes all the hacker boys (and us girls) swoon and purr with every smile and bit of trouble she stirs up. Crystal Williams is the penultimate Hot Hacker Girl; she once wrote this thing called a thesis titled “When Piracy is Good for Software Companies” which we’re sure went over swimmingly at Adobe, and is the Vice President (Professional Services) for WorkHabit, Inc. (a Drupal-focused company) which is fitting as she’s pretty much the gorgeous face of Drupal — having founded DrupalCampLA and is currently working on DrupalConSF (registration now open!), BarCamp LA, BarCamp China and more. Williams is a privacy and security fetishist, can be spotted in the wilds at hacker conferences around the globe, and likely has an interesting keyring. She’s the hot geek for 2010, and a girl to look out for.

Thank you to everyone who helped compile this list, from Twitter to my inbox, and an occasional whisper in my ear.

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