When out at lunch with a friend recently, she asked for some serious sexual advice for her friend. Her friend, it turns out (and really, it was her friend, not herself) — her friend is a 22 year old woman who has never had an orgasm. Miss 22, she found out, had told her this and also that she did not masturbate because she didn’t know how. After their conversation, Miss 22 did an informal survey of her friends, and lo, they were all women who openly admitted to masturbating, which left Miss 22 feeling like she’d really been left out. She came back to my friend and asked for advice. Her friend came to me.
I don’t have the bandwidth right now to answer sex advice questions — and apologies if you’ve emailed me and I have not had a chance to respond. Please call or email SFSI.org, where I teach, and learn. I’m so swamped I can barely keep my friends from thinking I’ll never email them back. But this was face to face, and I told her to get a book I Iove. She said “Sex for One? I got that for her and she was too overwhelmed by it.” I told her I never recommend that book for that very reason, because it opens with the author talking about her experiences at group masturbation parties, and that always puts women off who are new to the whole concept of female orgasm — let alone group sex parties! No, I told her to get a copy of the outstanding When the Earth Moves by Mikaya Heart. Also: Lou Paget’s Orgasms: How to Have Them, Give Them, and Keep Them Coming, The Guide to Getting It On by Paul Joannides (Psy. D.) and for follow-up reading, The Clitoral Truth by Rebecca Chalker. Advanced orgasmic exploration is in The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot (also UK) These are all no-nonsense, plain talk, fun attitude practical books that are outstanding for beginners. And to pair it with erotica: because she’s heterosexual I recommended Lust: Erotic Fantasies for Women (also UK) and Girls On Top: Erotic Fantasies for Women (also UK) — both because they’re packed with well-written women’s erotic fantasies, by women, for women.
Just thought I’d pass it along.