November 2009

Here I am, talking to Oprah about porn. Yay! She’s really fun to talk to. I just found the above segment with my appearance on the show via Twitter.

A little over a week ago I was delighted to be a guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show to talk about female porn consumers, and much much more. To say that I had a great time would be a massive understatement: as I wrote on my Facebook page, I’ve never been treated with such respect, and shared excitement for the subject matter. Oprah has a dream team of very passionate people who love their jobs and love who they work for — that’s obvious. They’re also funny and have a great sense of humor about everything. Recently I’ve had to deal with a lesser entity that is sex-negative; it’s amazing to contrast my experience working for and with Oprah. To say they treated me well would be an understatement. I was treasured and the subject of women and sex was explored in such an honest, unflinching way. Look closely at this show and you’ll notice that Oprah has reframed the entire conversation: we women are not ‘tolerated’ or marginalized for exploring our inhibitions, voicing our desires, or owning our sexual agency — we are embraced. The 1 in 3 consumers of adult material online — women — were finally acknowledged, and with respect for a change. And interest! We’re all checking this stuff out together, and talking to each other about it — as we have for years, starting with my old forum The Smart Girl’s Porn Club (circa 2003).

Myths and stereotypes: smashed! We live in a world where women are more sexually powerful and articulate than any other time in history because of the internet and emergent communicative technologies. Oprah’s hip to it. You’re soaking in it. And that’s really, outrageously exciting for all of us.

Like I said in last week’s column; I wonder how much sexual research has been flawed because researchers forgot the crucial ingredient of female sexual pleasure (and female sexual freedom)?

There was a *lot* of media about the episode, but my faves are here:

* What kind of woman watches porn? Three pages of my writing and research on Oprah.com.
* Oprah – Violet Blue on Porn vs. Erotica (oprah.com)
* Movieline calls me “Oprah’s mouthpiece” (and I loved it, movieline.com)

Images by my dear longtime friend Scott Beale / Laughing Squid (laughingsquid.com), who also shot the bio photo of me for Oprah Magazine back in 2007:

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Image by Noah Kalina.

The iPhone’s app store has long had a reputation for prudery. So it doesn’t surprise me to see the Android pulling ahead with an open model that shows it has the market awareness to truly survive in the wild, allowing room for things like the just-announced, adults-only app store for the Android. I’d already poked around the store and found some cool grownup apps for my Moment, and I’m excited to see where this is headed. iPhone’s app store has so far failed the ‘make your business model sex positive’ test, which would make it able to withstand the changing and growing face of adult consumers (i.e. that 1 in 3 people seeking adult content is female), and I’m excited to see what’s next for my cool new phone. If only people would stop offering to write me apps for the iPhone and I’d get offers from Android developers… I worry that the iPhone app store would not treat my topic with fairness or respect.

Here’s PC Week with more on the story (beware ANNOYING rollover ads):

Seattle-based MiKandi LLC has launched the first adults-only mobile applications store for Google Android smartphones. The store is already available for installation from the MiKandi Web site for compatible mobiles, and will offer a range of both free and paid-for adults-only applications.

According to MiKandi, the company was founded by seven people, including former employees of Microsoft, T-Mobile and Comverse, and adult industry veterans. One of MiKandi LLC’s founders, Shane Isbell, began running an alternative Android applications store — SlideME — before the the Android Marketplace’s official launch.

“[MiKandi LLC] wanted to find a niche that was not currently being served and adult applications were at the top of the list,” Jennifer McEwen, one of the company’s founders, told PC World. “There are no other adult app stores out there to meet this need of users and developers. So we entered the market with MiKandi to provide value to the mobile application ecosystem.”

The app store is very much under development. Though you can install the store itself, it only offers a single app: a “multi-speed vibrator system” called “Dildroid.”

The MiKandi developer portal is currently invite-only, but MiKandi LLC is about to launch an e-mail campaign aiming to recruit app developers. According to the MiKandi Twitter profile, the response from developers and end users alike has been overwhelming. (…read more, pcworld.idg.com.a)

In the iPhone app store, nothing remotely adult is officially allowed, unless you count the many fairly misogynistic bikini apps, versus the iPhone app store’s immediate response to pull a male pinup app (which showed no nudity, while featuring some strategically torn jeans here and there). Gay apps without the sex? No problem. (Though don’t tell them Grindr is a hookup app.) TapGay? Not so much.

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I really admire the beauty in those European pinup models (and big-name photographers) at Met Art and generally regard their work highly — the combination of tasteful and explicit content with fairly wholesome-looking, natural ladies unarguably puts our domestic men’s magazines to shame. But I’ve always wondered what the vibe is during the shoots, and what it’s all like.

Then I got an email with this link to video of a number of photo shoots with cute model Chantelle :)

Very cool. After watching it, I went into the free gallery database and found a couple of galleries with Chantelle for research purposes, of course, but interestingly I also found a couple of the scenarios shown in her video. I love this one with the heart shaped locket. Posed, but pretty. This set called Famous is in the video, as is this gorgeous set in natural light and shadows (main post image source). Neat stuff. Enjoy!

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Image by yasu529.

This is one of those items that does not necessarily have a happy ending, nor give anyone happy face (especially not anyone who deep-sixes a dubious suppository into their precious parts). However, the last word on the topic, provided by longtime friend, colleague and fellow sex educator Charlie Glickman had me rooting like a gothy sex nerd cheerleader from my office chair tonight. (I assisted Charlie in developing and working together in a professional sex ed department for many years.)

Femimint Hygiene: Vagina Mints? Dear Mother Mary with an Altoids fetish, NO! Snip:

(…) So where did the idea for this curiously wrong mint come from? Linger’s website (a little NSFW) offers up a wondrous, romantic tale about the supposed discoverer of femimint hygiene, an unnamed woman who was seduced in India by a man with skin “the color of caramel.” He quelled her fears of tasting bad “down there” with a mysterious, Eastern mint. “When I returned to the States, I brought the tingly sweet tasting mint with me,” she writes. I’ve requested an interview with this mysterious entrepreneur, but have yet to speak with her. However, Linger’s PR guy did send me a sample—made in exotic New Jersey. But that was just my first taste of disappointment.

And then, Dr. Glickman makes us trade our mortification for reason, wit… and something like a slap:

(…) So how does Linger manage to pass off breath mints as vaginal Tic Tacs in $7.99 packs? Despite the salacious creation story and testimonials on its site (“It gets a little warm as it starts to dissolve which took just under an hour. Then, it is SO good!!”), the mint is labeled “for novelty use only.” This is a common practice in the sex-products industry, explains Charlie Glickman, the education program manager at Good Vibrations. It gives manufacturers some cover if something goes awry, he explains. “They could say, ‘It’s just a novelty toy. You weren’t actually expecting to use this were you?’” And if you actually do expect to use Linger to “flavor the woman in a manner that is safe and effective,” be warned: its primary ingredient is sugar, which is not safe for the vagina. It messes up the pH and can lead to a really painful yeast infection, a condition that definitely doesn’t make someone want to “linger.”(…read it all, motherjones.com, thanks Praemedia!)

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I’ve been angling to do a lascivious housewares post for a few days now, and while longtime readers know how much I’ve yearned for the Seven Deadly Sins Plate Set, I found a few things that make me want to spend money I don’t have and complete my wanna-be naughty cupboard collection. (I include my Laughing Squid Mug as part of my geek-pervy collection, BTW.)

Above we have the very clever Wanker and Lesbo plates; below we have the Bitch and Wanker Tea Set (want! perfect for me and the boy!) and the lusty, must have for my bar Ceramic Cock Bottle Stopper. Beyond that, I sort of want to pair the Flutterby Vibrator Jade with the *adorable* Grey Union Jack Cushion. (More here.) Also for the bar, I loved Sin in Linen’s Girl Power Rock cocktail glasses with wonderful images for (ahem) shoe lovers. Add to that the stunning, really gorgeous yet inconspicuous high end designer Condom Dispenser from Uncommon Goods, and you’re arriving in style.

Have you seen any more lascivious housewares? Let me know!

Full disclosure: Coco de Mer is a lovingly handpicked sponsor of Tiny Nibbles — among the supporters I’ve personally chosen to partner with and who make this blog possible — and I’m delighted to say I’m meeting the London contingent next month (this post links to their online US store). This post is not part of the sponsorship, they didn’t know I was going to do it, and is more like a personal wishlist :)

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