Image via Wysoccan.
With no small amount of irony, I’m realizing that this post, about sex and Zen Buddhism will likely piss off more people than my last post about the HIV outbreak. Quietly, in a meditative kind of way, of course. So I’ll blame it all on my friend Brad Warner, a Zen Master who asks Who Would Buddha Fuck? Snip:
The answer to the question “who would Buddha fuck?” is that he wouldn’t. He left his wife to pursue the deeper Truth of the Universe. Later on she dropped whatever grudge she must have had and became a Buddhist nun. But as far as we know they did not get back together as husband and wife again even after she joined the order.
But, y’see, before Buddha became Buddha he got more ass than a toilet seat. Compared to the founders of most major religions Buddha was the Gene Simmons of the spiritual scene. One of the randiest saviors this planet has ever produced!
Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha-to-be, was born into a royal family and reportedly had quite a harem in his youth. His dad, the king, had a special “chamber of love” built for the boy where the raunchy little tyke spent his days partaking in all kinds of debauchery. According to Lust for Enlightenment by John Stevens, the ever horny prince availed himself of pleasure girls adept at such skills as “war of the tongues,” “kissing the stalk,” “sucking a mango,” “opening the blossom,” as well as sex positions known as “the union of cats,” “the pressing of an elephant,” “bee buzzing over honey” and, best of all, “the union of three.” Sometimes the girls teamed up to perform the yogini chakra in which the salivating Siddhartha made love simultaneously with three, five, seven or nine partners.
Suffice it to say, by the time Buddha gave up sex he’d tried pretty much everything there was to try.
The first Buddhist monks attempted to emulate Buddha’s later life in terms of sex, meaning they usually became celibate.
Later on other Buddhists in the Tantric tradition took a completely different outlook (…read more, suicidegirls.com)
* Don’t get your Zen panties in a bunch. I personally know Brad is a virgin. He told me so when I interviewed him on GETV.
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I will avert my eyes…
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