From the monthly archives:

June 2009

The SF LGBT Pride parade yearly attracts in excess of over one million visitors to San Francisco — more than doubling the population of our City for a weekend. Someone with copies of the notorious “Love ain’t the problem / Stand up against h8″ graphic taped up a few posters around the parade areas. I saw one, then it disappeared, and I wondered if someone official took it down, or if vandals offended by the idea of gay marriage and an image of two women kissing tore it down. Looking through some Flickr images from the weekend, it looks like this lucky couple not only snagged it, but were inspired. So. Awesome. Str8 against h8!

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ask, and… yeah.

by Violet Blue on June 30, 2009

What’s great is that I was about to randomly post this gallery of Stoya and Astrid and their strap-on session for no reason other than the chemistry is hot, I’m procrastinating work on two anthologies, it would make for a gratuitous porn post and I’m always trying to think of reasons for justifying my porn surfing habits by making such posts, I’m still cranky about blogging ethics discussions and sex writing attitudes (and being called an “activist” for the wrong reasons)… and so, also, I’m still camped out on this hot boy’s couch reading erotica for like the [redacted]th week in a row working on more fucking books about fucking…

My brain is thinking “jump or fall” about so many things at once. With random sparks. Like wanting to never use caps again on my blog (for no other reason that I am *at war* against the shift key), but I know that’s annoying for anyone to read. Wanting to do a post about speaking at LeWeb in December, but moreseo wanting to start work on that talk now because it’s going to funny and entertaining and full of sex/tech goodness and I can’t wait to get into the work, to sink into it, rehearse it, play with it. And also start on a talk that’s in my back pocket I’m putting together about community management in crisis situations and bringing together diverse communities and navigating member/user individualization while still addressing how community managers tactfully, effectively and textually manage “who speaks for ‘we’” (I bring so much to this from working in sex ed and LGBT communities it’s a goldmine of guidance and ideas; I actually have a fistful of handwritten notes with me at all times about this in case I get a chance to start formalizing the talk). I also have the running dialogue in the back of my head that at LeWeb I’ll be sharing a stage with some serious historical figures, and part if me actually thinks, unpublish this, bitches.

I feel like this:


Me, saturday afternoon.

And then I get a comment here, “more kissing girls, please.” And like many of you, I think “aaaahhhh. kissing girls. girls kissing. so simple.” Here you go, click image to get to the full gallery:

I love putting porn in a post that’s not actually about sex. No one ever knows what to do with it. Such a simple disruption method. Plus it’s good handpicked porn that I happen to be enjoying personally, not inserted in a post just for the banal sake of it. It’s like you’re hanging out in my head: always NSFW, and always tricky to link to.

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Image from this explicit free gallery, because I can.

Now here’s a study we can sink our collected [redacted] into. Totally transparent, they cite their data sources, they provide links to the studies so you can decide for yourself what you think, and it’s full of interesting data. Plus it makes us pro-sex toy biased, happy sex life with batteries included, sex ed pro-orgasm beyootches just a tad more smug. Okay, a LOT more smug. Here’s the entertaining and enlightening (and certainly citable) studies summed up in Vibrator Use Common, Linked To Sexual Health. Really, it’s *fascinating*. Snip:

ScienceDaily (June 29, 2009) Two Indiana University studies conducted among nationally representative samples of adult American men and women show that vibrator use during sexual interactions is common, with use being reported by approximately 53 percent of women and 45 percent of men ages 18 to 60. Not only is vibrator use common, but the two studies also show that vibrator use is associated with more positive sexual function and being more proactive in caring for one’s sexual health.

The studies, led by researchers at the Center for Sexual Health Promotion in IU’s School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation, are the first to publish data about vibrator use from nationally representative samples of the U.S. population. This lack of data has existed despite a longstanding practice by many physicians and therapists to recommend vibrator use to help treat sexual dysfunctions or to improve sexual enjoyment.

One study surveyed women. The other surveyed men. Both were published this week by the “Journal of Sexual Medicine,” a leading peer-reviewed journal in the area of urology and sexual health.

“The study about women’s vibrator use affirms what many doctors and therapists have known for decades — that vibrator use is common, it’s linked to positive sexual function such as desire and ease of orgasm, and it’s rarely associated with any side effects,” said Debby Herbenick, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion.

Michael Reece, director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion, said the studies are important for the contributions they make to an understanding of the sexual behaviors and sexual health of adults in today’s society.

“The study about male vibrator use is additionally important because it shows that vibrator use is also common among men, something that has not been documented before,” Reece said. “Also, both studies help us to further understand the way in which American consumers are turning to the marketplace for products that promote their sexual health, and that has important economic implications.”

The studies are the first to document insights into how and why people use vibrators, examine side effects and to explore associations with sexual health behaviors, sexual enjoyment and quality of life measures.

The studies were funded by Church & Dwight Co. Inc., maker of Trojan® brand sexual health products. Here are some of the findings from the studies, which involve survey responses from 2,056 women and 1,047 men ages 18-60. (…read more, sciencedaily.com, thanks K!)

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Gratuitous nude gallery of Natalia A here.

This item made me fascinated; not in a totally snarky way, but in a ‘I wonder who their samples were, what populations they asked, etc.’ because that would actually give me some useful data. Sex and attraction studies are oft cited for generalizations in media because they’re supposedly backed by a reliable data set. I’m always the (ahem) “activist” sex writer who wants to know what’s behind the curtains. Yeah, I might have been the asshole on the porn panel again last weekend at the Cybernet expo. Whatever. So what if I was wearing my “This ain’t no smash and grab: it’s a revolution” t-shirt to talk about sex writing for the porn business, who have historically simultaneously hated and loved me? The article that got me started: Men agree on what’s hot in the opposite sex (but girls do not), snip:

Men agree on what is attractive in the opposite sex far more than women do, says a study. The survey of 4,000 adults found that most men liked women who were thin and posing seductively.

Women, in contrast, were enticed by a far wider range of male characteristics. The results could explain why women feel pressured to conform to a narrow view of attractiveness, and suffer more eating disorders, the scientists said.

Participants in the study rated photographs of men and women aged 18 to 25 for attractiveness.Men’s judgments of women were based primarily around physical features, with a preference for the thin.

As a group, the women rating men showed some preference for thin, muscular subjects, but disagreed on how attractive many men in the study were. Some gave high ratings to men that other women said were not attractive at all. The study by U.S psychologists appears in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

One of the authors, psychologist Dustin Wood said: ‘The study helps explain why women experience stronger norms than men to obtain or maintain certain physical characteristics.
katie price

Queen of the seductive pose: Katie Price ticks the boxes for men as she is thin and confident

‘Men agree a lot more about who they find attractive and unattractive than women agree about who they find attractive and unattractive. (…read more, dailymail.co.uk)

Fuck! Bitches are so mysterious and confusing! So like a woman; can’t make up their minds… we’re just as mysterious as our orgasms… Being a sex nerd and occasional jerk about this stuff, I found the cited source online, the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology and found no such study. Where did it go? Instead, I found the even nerdier-fascinatingly titled, Interacting with sexist men triggers social identity threat among female engineers.

Me, I like ‘em hot, bitter, nerdy, dark, funny and a reckless. The rest (clothes, hair, willingness to get/give a good spanking, willful brattiness, bad reputation, nice ass) usually matches my criteria.

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I just randomly came across this set of Kate Moss from last year’s September 2008 issue of W Magazine. The whole incredibly sultry, nipple-tatstic and very sexy set is here.

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Last month when Courtney Trouble, April Flores, Carlos Batts, Kim Kane and others invaded my house to shoot some indie porn, I wasn’t in the rooms when they were shooting so I didn’t see what they did. And that was fine with me; I was thrilled to have these exciting artists in my house making erotic art within — and being inspired by — my personal environment. So it was especially surreal for me to click ‘play’ on the above video, not know what I was going to see, and then realize after a few moments of recognition that this was in my bathroom, my bathtub; and the mood was moving and very intense for me. Yes, that’s my switchblade. What’s more, it reminds me of this self-portrait photo set (contains nudity) I shot a year and a half ago one particularly lonely christmas in that very same bathtub, still mine:

P1000553

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hot queer girl monday

29 June 2009
Image from Roulette – a porn shoot (...). I missed pretty girl friday -- but after a weekend of celebrating SF LGBTQ Pride, working (getting snidely called an "activist" at the porn expo onstage by another sex writer), networking while everyone and their gay porny sibling is in town, and being […]
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happy gay pride weekend from Miss California (not)

26 June 2009
Image by malecution. This week's SF Chronicle column was fun to write; instead of the usual SF Pride guide, I wrote a faux how-to guide to staying "safe" from homosexual activity in San Francisco over the weekend from ex Miss California Carrie Prejean, who is actually more famous for being against […]
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China’s online “porn” ban to extend to sexual health sites

25 June 2009
Image by Danny Choo. This is getting really out of control -- extreme, bizarre and I think now has the potential to become dangerous. There have been a lot of headlines about the Chinese government's intent and implementation to ban not only whatever they deem pornographic but also "vulgar information". Another […]
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what happens when I get “behind” in my blogging

25 June 2009
Image of Claire Adams and Lorelei Lee from this gallery. I have no idea where this week went, except I know I've been really busy -- though not as busy as the enthusiastic, happy pervs over at Kink who just launched the new site Everything Butt! It's about... you know, butts: […]
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lesbians = 1 cowboys = ?

25 June 2009
CowboyAtom.com: Funny Videos | Cinematic Comedy | Romantic Comedies Cowboy is written, directed and starring Matthew Modine; no sex but it's hot and cute. Thanks, DD! On that note, see also: the 100 Hottest Butches, just in time for Pride weekend. Big props for seeing locals Shine Louise Houston, Syd Blakovich […]
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hello, Zivity!

22 June 2009
Image by Merkley??? from my Zivity photoset. I'm very excited to announce that I'm now part of the Zivity modeling community! My first set went live today -- if you're a member, feel free to vote for me and Merkley???, who shot my first set. (OMG) I really like Zivity's community-focused […]
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hai gorgeous: Jody Kovac

21 June 2009
Image of Jody Kovac by Art Silva. One thing I miss doing since I quit Fleshbot is doing "crush object" posts, where I come across a beautiful model in my various porny online adventures, discover that she has substance not only in her work but also in her web presence, and […]
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Friday Nibbles: Lindsay Lohan, HIV Outbreak And Osha, Nude Yoga

19 June 2009
Image of Lindsay Lohan via Single Scoop. * French animated condoms (video) are scary and explicit. I know they are trying to be cute. But -- le yikes! (xhamster.com, thanks DD!) * Google really wants to be in China. I am dying to know exactly how they're determining what porn sites to […]
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groovy hot boy pink missle of love post

19 June 2009
Too late for my Hot Boy Thursday as usual (I gleefuly blame my Hot Boy Friday), but I'm not going to let that stop me from posting a gratuitous image of the why-do-you-have-to-be-so-delicious Daniel Craig, and point you to a few handpicked, tasteful boy-licious galleries. My top pick is Gabriel […]
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Pink Dildo Nation And The Groovy Missile: checking out Hannah’s Honeypot(s)

18 June 2009
Image from Beneath Three Hair Colors. I just sort of needed a porn break today. A break that is all about porn. I am tired of all these posts full of thoughts. Too much thinking. And I'm trying to make peace with my inner blonde, or an outer blonde if I […]
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this week’s Chron column: asking Hunch about sex

18 June 2009
This week I had a little naughty fun with the new startup Hunch. In addition to asking the surprisingly intuitive service about sex (and have it be a scary non-intuitive experience), I asked it if I was gay -- and boy, were the results hilarious. There is no bisexual orientation. […]
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how SF Weekly / Matt Smith harmed a source (sex, journalists, and trust, part bazillion)

18 June 2009
Image of Darenzia and Mz Berlin by Christine Kessler (photographer: cover of my book Best Women's Erotica 2009). As some of you may remember a couple weeks ago, I wrote SF Weekly's Matt Smith Screws Kink.com: Unfair, Unbalanced, Malfeasant Journalism. In it, I detailed how Smith acted irresponsibly to get a […]
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“Tie Me Up” by Dirty Stop Out and Agent Provocateur

18 June 2009
Today Agent Provocateur announced their "Tie Me Up" contest featuring Dirty Stop Out's video of the same name, and as you can see above, it's incredibly hot. Took me a minute to find the video in an embeddable version; if I could tell AP anything besides how much I want […]
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the incredible art of Fernando Vicente

17 June 2009
Visit Fernando Vicente's website (and see his gorgeous pin-ups), but do not miss his fabulous blog where these images live -- plus a lot more. Wow. (via a long link trail, started by Praemedia)
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