The Onion’s 2009 Valentine issue

by Violet Blue on February 10, 2009

Image via The Onion.

…rocks, even when it has a bit of judgmental baggage here and there (just warning you). Highlights include:

* Japan Pledges To Halt Production Of Weirdo Porn That Makes People Puke
* Man Somehow Getting Worse At Sex
* Per Tradition, Ex-Presidents Watch Obamas Christen White House Bed
* Ex-Girlfriend Making Huge Mistake
* 14 Sperm Bank Workers Drown In Tragic Spill (audio)

Violet Blue

The London Times named Violet Blue "One of the 40 bloggers who really count" and Self Magazine named TinyNibbles one of the “Best Sex Resources for Women.” Blue is an autodidact and pundit on sex and technology, hacking and security, porn for women, privacy and bleeding-edge tech culture. She is a journalist for ZDNet, CBS News, CNET; she's an educator, speaker, crisis counselor, volunteer NGO trainer, and the author and editor of over 40 award-winning books.

More Posts - Website - Twitter - Facebook - Google Plus - Flickr - YouTube - Reddit

{ 4 comments }

1 Ken February 11, 2009 at 4:08 pm: Argh. Can’t believe I forgot the most critical step.
Ching-wao tsao duh liou mahng!
2 violet February 11, 2009 at 2:06 pm: my email is in plain sight on the front page of my blog, top, in my mini-bio. it continually amazes me that no one ever sees it.

Ken, you forgot the part about sacrificing the inflatable Nathan Fillion Love Doll, but the ritual should still work ;)
3 Ken February 11, 2009 at 4:44 am: Steal the footstone from a pauper’s grave in a consecrated cemetery. Hide the stone under the mattress of a menstruating female who has given birth to 7 children – no more and no less. Leave the stone there for 7 nights, then retrieve it and at midnight (Pacific Time) under the next full moon, sprinkle the tears of a virgin and soy milk across the surface of the stone while chanting “Violet Blue” exactly 42 times. Immediately afterwards, you must burn your clothing and return the footstone to the grave while completely nude.

As far as I know, that won’t actually accomplish anything – but it’s a fun way to pass the time until Violet answers your e-mail.
4 Raul Velazquez February 10, 2009 at 6:57 pm: VIOLET! ! ! I’m Writting from Mexico City. We are organizing a forum of erotism an porno at “Universidad Iberoamericana”, it’s a University, we are inviting several experts for our diferent themes, from around the world. And you are one vital person for our plans. We need to contact you ! ! Please answer as soon as posible, we’ve been trying to contact you by all our possibilities. my email. [email protected], [email protected]
(( IF ANYBODY KNOWS HOW TO CONTACT VIOLET, PLEASE HELP !!!! ))