Comments on: absolutely the worst article about sex ever written – tag: unintentional hilarity

By: Elf Sternberg

Elf Sternberg — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 21:33:58 +0000

I’m late to the party, Violet, and this is so out of date… but that article is still there. So sad.

By: I like flesh

I like flesh — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 19:55:54 +0000

Sounds like someone discovered some Dolcett artwork on the web and decided it was real. I’ve been a fan of his artwork since it was first pirated on Usenet and I have yet to hang or cook my spouse or anyone else nor do I have any desire to do so. But the images get me hot.

By: Agile Cybrog

Agile Cybrog — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 14:35:06 +0000

Fucking nematodes.

Journalists in the broad press who have the quackish temerity to report on human sexuality are, more often than not, slithery dysfunctionals who relate to nothing but the grimy gray wall of conformity, predictability and implied structure.

Most of these people live in emotional cardboard boxes perched precariously on the repressed tracks of a broken inner village that couldn’t relate to expressive human sexuality if their very existence depended on this experience.

In other words, they would rot and DIE before ever attempting to skirt the boundaries of their own self-imposed sexual gulags.

So- why are we surprised when these juniors act like fucking minuses?

Keep up the fantastic work, Violet.

By: Dweller

Dweller — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 15:07:58 +0000

“pert,” I always thought that was solely used in descriptions of small-ish, firm breasts. Well that and the shampoo as mentioned above.

My favorite part, aside from blame internet, (so reminds me of the old hate-on for Rock and Roll,) was the understated notion that “normal” means mainstream vanilla. “Normal” is the vaguest term ever dreamed up.

By: Gorgeousfish

Gorgeousfish — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 09:43:23 +0000

Fantastically funny article. Given us some great inspiration for our next libertine party, and especially ideas for the menu. Themes that spring to mind: Ménage à 2.8, Spit roast for three, Swap al a carte, Bobbitt flambée, Tiny nibbles leading to more!!
I first assume that ABC is the USA equivalent in our wonderful crap British tabloids, with headlines like “TOE JOB TO NO JOB” (Resignation of Cabinet Minister over an affair) or “PORNOCCHIO” (A reference to the “modelling” past of Paul McCartney’s ex-wife Heather Mills when judge in their divorce case called her a liar). Although I suspect that ABC didn’t have their tongue’s in their cheeks or anyone else’s, come to think about it.
And anyway fish sex existed before the internet, at least according to fisherman friend.

By: twizted

twizted — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 07:16:23 +0000

Wow. They got me. It all started so innocently with a pair of nipple clamps. Six months later, I’m wandering the streets at night looking for supple young flesh to roast and mounting squirrels in the park. Braaaaiiiiins!!!!

I think ‘A Dingleberry’ is apt for this piece of breathless crap. Thanks for the laugh. I enjoyed the confusing and surreal ‘related’ article headline on page 3: Feral children Speak in Growls, Squeaks.

By: Natasha Yar-Routh

Natasha Yar-Routh — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 01:50:44 +0000

Ah but this takes me back 40 years to my misspent youth. I frequently saw or read some news report about a ‘dangerous’ trend or fad spreading among the youth. Invariably my firsty reaction was ‘but that is so past it!’. They were at a minimum 6 months behind and always got it completely wrong. Nice to see that the same high journalistic standards still apply.

By: violet

violet — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 01:02:44 +0000

@Elf, glad you caught that too. it’s a not-so-subtle way of stating that any interest in kink equates to an interest in sexualizing children. disgusting, no?

By: Elf M. Sternberg

Elf M. Sternberg — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 20:30:06 +0000

I’m absolutely incensed by her use of the world “teleoiphilia” as an antonym for “paraphilia.” If this woman had spent more than ten seconds reviewing the literature, she would know that teleoiphilia is not an antonym for paraphilia; it’s an antonym for pedophilia. It’s not just that she accuses all kinksters of being incorrigble monsters intent on self-destruction. She’s told her readers that if kinksters can’t be normal, then you’d better keep them away from your kids because they’re always going to be abnormal.

By: Beth

Beth — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 18:18:46 +0000

Fave comment on that article:

“The problem is that reporters apparently can only feel “safe” in covering this stuff if they act like sarcastic teenagers holding a roadkill skunk on the end of a stick.”

So true, for so many things.

Love your work, Vi!

By: Clarisse

Clarisse — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 07:26:38 +0000

* “Couples should have special words, should they become uncomfortable (…)” Anyone have a term we can invent for this? Clearly one is needed.

Hahaha.

As a serious note, though, I’ve been asked to create a workshop on sexual communication for college students, and I’m sneaking in a bunch of BDSM negotiation concepts (shh, don’t tell anyone). I’m trying to think of something else I can call “safeword” so that I can talk about safewords in my workshop without tipping off the Powers That Be that I’m using tactics adopted from The Perverts.

One friend suggested “timeout”. Further suggestions welcome.

By: Patrick

Patrick — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 06:40:27 +0000

Holy shit.

I’m a lurker, and haven’t commented on any of your posts before (but oh how I adore you).

But this is too much. I thought you must SURELY have been exaggerating when you said the article said “Swinging leads to cannibalism.”

But then, there it was! In the section entitled “Dangers of Swinging,” we are told about two such dangers:

1 – Falling in love with a secondary partner.
2 – Becoming a ravenous flesh-eating monster.

No words can express the inanity. I’m just at a loss… And I’m starting to feel a bit peckish.

By: Samiam

Samiam — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 06:19:05 +0000

the only thing i can think of seeing that picture you posted is crush films.

animals + sex = no,

By: Cyn Sorensen

Cyn Sorensen — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 05:42:14 +0000

““sex-perts”. Anyone know what a “pert” is?”

The only thing I can think of is Pert Plus. Another fetish! These “sex-perts” are violating perfectly good shampoo! How disgraceful.

I’m just wondering how the writer could possibly make the leap from sex to cannibalism. It’s not as if these subjects go hand in hand. There’s sex… and then there’s cannibalism. One does not often associate one with the other.

I think I lost a few braincells trying to make sense of what the reporter was trying to say.