Anyway, I’ve spoken to my doctor about it numerous times, and she says there’s basically nothing that can be done physically and recommended a sex therapist. Which I’ve been putting off since it just seems so awkward to discuss in a professional setting … but perhaps it’s time I grow the ladyballs you think I have and do that!

and that’s not to say I don’t appreciate your criticism, because I do — though I think that I’d like to say in my defense that my intention was to criticize the prudishness of CNN for not openly saying what the problems really are and how they actually affect women. and especially their prudishness for painting it all over with a whitewash of medical advice. I did not mean to call women with sexual problems prudish in any way, I would never ever intend to come off like that. I was angry that CNN didn’t present all the ways we can combine various tools to try and find solutions. I absolutely do not think that women who chose medical/chemical routes are prudes at all — they are likely the opposite, even if for the sole act of standing up and saying HEY! I deserve an orgasm, maybe even a couple hundred, and you docs owe it to me just as much as men are handed the little blue pills while Big Pharma just scratches its head and goes ‘it’s complicated, that girl stuff’. a prudish woman is not brave like you are. a prudish woman sits there and takes it and says nothing. but a prudish media outlet will pretend to report on a serious issue, while not really tell us what’s going on or explain all the tools available to actually try and *help* someone with a sex problem. it’s fucking dishonest and I’m sick of it.

that said, welcome to the site. you’re an approved anon commenter now, and I hope you’ll tell me what’s what anytime you want. I’m thankful for the time, thought, consideration and ladyballs you bring to the comments here.

Sometimes, libido just disappears for unknown reasons. Mine did a couple of years ago. I used to do all the things on your list as a matter of course; I was very sexually motivated and open-minded. Then my libido just dropped off over a period of a couple of months, and I went from masturbating or having sex daily, to literally *never* thinking about sex, unless I start to feel that it’s gone a bit long without being intimate with my partner to re-connect and protect our relationship.

I used to get really wet; now I don’t at all. My clitoris used to grow and get erect; now it stays small and overly sensitive to touch. I just don’t feel like sex, and my body doesn’t get aroused. That is the sexual dysfunction they don’t know how to treat, except with drugs. It’s literally impotence, exactly like not being able to get it up. It’s nothing to do with not being free or open-minded, and maybe I’m being sensitive about it (it really demolishes your sense of self and sexual confidence) but I find it kind of insulting that you are assuming women with sexual problems are somehow prudish.

I cannot imagine a more fun health regimen! And I have seen health benefits, the most interesting being more regular periods.

I hope someone in my (past) shoes reads this entry. Thanks for this excellent advice.

From the anti-porn Feminista to the darkly-aged Christian Fundamentalist a female, married or otherwise, certainly has a very tough road to investigate in her quest for ultimate independence.

Ultimately the list above is about mental and emotional agility and flexibility. A feature sorely lacking in the prudish and uptight.

The mental capacity to objectively orient oneself in a sea of sexual data can be a burden if rigidity and conventionality dominate cognitive function and visceral reaction.

It is almost amazing that Violet has to ‘qualify’ sexual fantasy (tip 2). To many liberal minds this may seem absurd. Shockingly, it IS a necessary qualification due to the significant number of females roaming the hinterland that live in a perpetual state of sexual conviction and condemnation. I see much of this from my vantage point.