Comments on: notes from a porn set

By: sasha

sasha — Mon, 05 May 2008 14:23:58 +0000

I was leading a group around Toronto yesterday for a Jane’s Walk (a national walking day here in Canada celebrating urban activist Jane Jacobs). My walk was all about the small old school sex shops, porn theatres and peep shows, places I visit fairly frequently as a sex columnist. I warned the group, many of them women who had never been to these places, “there will be men walking around just yanking on their knobs, it’s part of the whole scene. If you are determined to be appalled, don’t go in.”
While it can be a bit jarring (and often just sort of silly looking) it is true, many guys are simply trying to stay erect or turned on just in case it’s their turn next, or in the case of peepshows, if someone wants to come in and suck their hard dick “right now”. It’s their way of showing they’re horny and ready. I can only imagine the panic at being perceived as impotent or soft in an environment that values male readiness and virility with such rigid (no pun intended seriously) and narrow standards.
Violet, I totally understand your sleepless nights, though. As left leaning sex writers, we want to show maligned professions in a better light, especially since there are so many other people with bigger, louder voices constantly proclaiming their sheer corruption. But the porn and sex industries are a lot more complex than that and sometimes we see things, even through our little lefty eyes, that make us uncomfortable and unhappy. I support you in your explorations, even if I disagree, no matter where they take you!

By: M

Sat, 03 May 2008 23:27:06 +0000

While watching guys stroke themselves to maintain erections may not be considered sexy by some, it is a reality of porn. And one of the realities of porn, is that their livelihood depends on that erection. It’s unfortunate people felt that was “creepy” when the man was attempting to make good on his part of the deal. Remember, this was a porn shoot, not a sex party. There is a big difference.

And for the record, I know exactly where everyone “came from” that night whether it was Craigslist, Porn Valley or friends of friends of employees. And frankly, the best behaved men were the ones from Craigslist.

By: quehanna

quehanna — Fri, 02 May 2008 10:20:25 +0000

My guess is that all the moppets on sfgate can’t wait until Violet posts something, anything so that they can feel good about themselves by sophomoricly (sp?) flaming. Some people will never grow up.

As for the article itself, my gf and I were invited to a private bdsm party that turned out to not be. Basically it was just a lot of people feeling each other up, some having sex ( in a variety of ways ) and me being hit on by people that didn’t know what the term ‘no thank you’ meant. What struck me the most about the evening was the many older men walking around naked and stroking themselves. I was quite uncomfortable there, it was creepy.

I think I know how you felt, Violet.

By: aliyah

aliyah — Fri, 02 May 2008 03:41:03 +0000

i liked the article when i read it this morning on the sfgate site. i was rather annoyed at the majority of comments i read. if so many of those people do not like your writing style, why do they continue to read your articles, then say how much they dislike your topics and writing style?

i, for one, read you as a anticipated part of my day. the article about being on set and the types of people was interesting. very creepy too to realise those who are unable to draw the line at fantasy and reality. i know i would not have been comfortable with drooling guys wanking themselves off like some were. they sound like they have issues that may manifest in a more dangerous fashion at some later date.

please keep up the good work!

By: Steve Hall

Steve Hall — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:19:51 +0000

Violet I always figured a porn shoot would be weird but the thought of all those guys standing around grunting and groaning and jacking themselves as if no one else is in the room is, indeed, creepy. Of course, I’m assuming that isn’t what will be seen in the finished product but its still weird.

While watching people have sex can be arousing, it can be very creepy too.. Definitely a fine line. And definitely weird if you find yourself watching something that isn’t on the comfort zone of that line.

There’s stuff online that I see and I’m like “Who the hell could possibly be into that?” Yet it’s there which means there has to be people out there that are.

So it’s interesting to hear your perspective on sitting in on a shoot. I’m not sure whether I’d be skeeved or I’d like it. Most porn (not that I have a vast knowledge of the genre) is terrible or completely unappealing to me. To each their own, I guess. And I suppose it’s normal for a person to have fairly specific things that work for them and things that don’t.

Good that you got some relief after the stress of the visit.