Some *really* nice person (thank you sooo much, R!) bought and sent me Thrusti Kicki Grabbi’s game of Truth or Dare from my Amazon wishlist– so I took a night off from working and feeling generally hopeless to have a really, really *really* hot night with a lucky boy. The game is so easy: take turns rolling the die and select a card based on whether “truth”, “dare” or “wild” (roller’s choice) comes up. Truth came up about ten times more often than dare and I was actually really happy with that; I was nervous about the dares, even though my date was extremely creative when his first dare came up (5 minutes of him in total control of my body and actions). The truth cards revealed so much it was difficult not to want to keep going with them: I got a chance to describe my top five sexual experiences (but without having to explain why, that was cool), and I found out what his ideal threesome would be like in detail — something I’d always wondered and was totally surprised to hear the answer. It wasn’t what I expected, at all. Talking about fantasy sex with someone hot is REALLY fun; the game is a nice way to have “permission” to do this because the cards tell you what you have to talk about. It’s like having a 3rd party application to facilitate information (and arousal). The game “makes” you bring it up, so neither party has to feel awkward asking questions.

The dares were sort of endgame; the first one we picked (actually, he picked) we decided went past both of our comfort levels so we tossed it and drew again — getting the hot him-in-charge for five minutes dare. The other dare we made a future date for (yay another date)! The last dare was… well, the last dare. It told us to each write five things we’d never done with each other before but had always wanted to. Then, put the ten ideas in a hat, and the person who got the “dare” card draws the idea. My idea was picked! It was “strip naked, make out for exactly ten minutes with no hands, with strategically placed lubricant.” Even hotter, he tried to keep me pinned physically throughout — I highly suggest couples try this idea, because between the intense kissing and all the body contact and wiggling… It’s too much.

That naughty game has got to be the best Valentine’s Day gift, ever — I can’t recommend it highly enough.

The hat with the other nine ideas/dares is sitting on my desk. Intact. Waiting… And no, I haven’t peeked, though I really want to…

If you haven’t already seen it, watch Ze Frank’s one-minute video at Laughing Squid, via Fimoculous.

I don’t need to explain my long, torrid, explicit affair with your brand, iTunes podcast stats, and products. I just feel like our relationship is — in trouble. No, it’s not about your boss, I know authority is out of control in anyone’s workplace. And it’s not that we don’t talk anymore, or that I’m not still hot for you. I am. I take you to bed every night, and I wake up with you in the morning. There’s not a hacker boy in my life who does not accept your place in my bedroom, and knows the things we’ve done together.

But — you’re just not satisfying me the way you used to. Granted, your hardware still makes me feverish and your OS… Mon dieu, your OS has been everything this girl has ever needed, wanted and got me through many intense nights (and those mornings when I wake up and need a little, you know). Just thinking of my time with your firmware is making my thighs clench at this very moment.

I hate to be the one to bring this up. I need more. We were non-monogamous at first because I had to work at a company that made me use an OS that really turned me off even to go near it. Ironically, it was a sex toy company. So I’d just practice “safer computing” around all the viruses, exploits and UI-erectile crashes, and think of baseball, or Margaret Thatcher naked in the rain until the day was over and I could get back to all the hot, creative, delicious workflow UI hijinks only you and I could do — really open up to each other and share ourselves. And when we went one-on-one, I took you everywhere, and you took me around the galaxy and back, baby.

I’m going to have to be blunt. I’ve never had it like it’s been with anyone but you. My god, the experimentation we’ve done… And I’m not the cheating kind. But I wish — and if I had the filthy lucre — I wish this was you. I don’t want you to be someone else; I just wish you’d be in that body. It’s almost like you’ve let yourself go, which happens in so many relationships. It’s just so frustrating that our user-interfacing is still so fucking hot.

There, I said it. I guess my needs have changed; I need to be able to get off (blog) out of an oversized purse from anywhere in the world, especially since I have to sex up ETech, SXSW and Google in the next six weeks — and baby, you’re just not keeping it up, if you know what I mean. I’m going to be one highly visible babe. And my physical versions of you are so dated. In public, it’s embarrassing. It’s not something in the water making me feel this way, and it’s definitely not something in the Air.

I guess it’s time to write that Craigslist ad for a stern yet tender Ubuntu sugar daddy; one with a firm hand. I could swing that way… I think. I still want to stay together, but I’m just not getting my needs met. Nor can I present anywhere with my dated iBook; people change, but ports don’t. I dunno, maybe we could work it out with a newer 15″ MacBook Pro, some high-end leather restraints, and *definitely* some short-term negotiation for threesomes with this Eee…

Image of Anna from nerdpr0n — hi Anna! Nice stack (of books)…

Update/Post Script: Check out Love Honey UK’s data and chart breakdown analysis, Mac v Windows: Who Spends The Most on Sex Toys? (via)

They made me undress for the email interview. They said Grant did it, so I had to.

I’m giddy with the way the interview turned out, and honored to be in their lineup: this week, Em & Lo (those prolific Nerve.com veterans) are featuring me (!) — The Bedpost Interview: Violet Blue is just now up on their snazzy, fun new blog that is a must-add to RSS and linklove pages alike. Here’s a snip:

(…) Jeez-us. When does she find time to have sex? Somehow, Violet managed to shuffle her busy schedule in order to fill out our official “Bedpost Interview” questionnaire. Her answers just go to show that the best ingredient for good sex is a decent sense o’ humor.

Is sex like pizza, even when it’s bad it’s good? Why or why not?
Yes, the delivery boy always comes before I can find my wallet.

Craziest place you’ve ever had sex?
Steve Jobs’s office. During the ‘08 keynote, of course.

Most underrated erogenous zone?
My local bar.

How does your work affect your sex life?
After three years at Fleshbot and seven at tinynibbles, I can now blog with lube-covered toes, assess a porn video in 20 seconds (seen Helvetica? It’s like that), and MacGyver a sex toy/jailbreak tool in 30 seconds with a gum wrapper, 0.08 of an ounce of Astroglide and a “Ballsy Supercock Jeff Stryker King Dong” (in purple), all while having raging sex. My work has also made me a porn snob. I have a couple thousand dollars worth of free, bad, fire-hazard-creating sex toys and bad porn I don’t want and cannot give away no matter how hard I try, but my lovers have constant zombie-like grins, so it equals out.

Favorite on-screen sex scene? (…)

Link. Now go also dig their interviews with Rachel Kramer Bussel and Grant Stoddard.

Image: Rubella, knitting nerd via Nerd Girl X.

I got an exclusive gallery from Nerd Girl X (thank you NGX!) where the nerdiness ranges from yarn to gaming and beyond — *lots* of girls with glasses, yay: and I put together a really incredible mini-list of fleshy-glamorous Rio Carnaval 2008 Flickr sets from last weekend… Check ‘em out when you get a chance.

Update 2, 4:30 PST: Still up and down (heh) depending where you are, so it’s a catching/proxy issue? Depending on where you are, some RedTube URLs will redirect you to a site selling websapce (spamtabulousness). No reports of malware so far.

Update: site’s back up, that was a quick fix the porn now flows freely once again. Hooray!

A reader just let me know that fave free porn clip site RedTube.com’s been hacked, delivering a message of “no porn”. A visit only gets you a “hacked by” page, but RedTube’s embeds are still there so the content is still active, likely stored elsewhere. Looks like RedTube has a long night ahead of them, lots of miserable “backdoor jokes”, and not the fun kind…

Here’s the mother of all videos — in case you were wanted to see more of my saturday night and what the animal and popcorn outfits were up to… When the hot deer-head girl ripped her mask up and screamed a grinning, “VIOLET BLUE!” and came after me with popcorn, I knew it was all over. The moment of chaos/darkness/silver pom-poms is one of the flag boys climbing *on* me. (I woke up this morning with fake popcorn in my ear and hairline; my back today is fine.) I love the blonde in the background absently picking popcorn out of her teeth the whole time; I almost like that better than the boobies and grinding. Is this a sign of age, or wisdom?

This is none other than my friends, the Extra Action Marching Band. They are available to play any event, from presidential inaugural speeches, prison breaks, 5150’s and weddings, to Bar Mitzvahs…

I gave up trying to edit all the other videos for you; this is certainly one of the money shots of great EA Marching Band moments. :)

Click To Play

I have a lot of video: here’s a (unedited) teeny sample of what happened to me last night:

Click To Play

When they see me, they show me the love. I haven’t been hugged and smooched so much in a long time; that’s what I get for leaving the house I guess. I missed them SO MUCH. I was shown a lot of love, and ended up on the floor being orally force-fed something that was supposed to be popcorn but was sweet-flavored, hurt my back being “fed” and slipping in water and butter and (fuids?), bashed my *totally fucking excellent survivor camera* Lumix on the concrete floor and had it (and me) sprayed with gawd knows what liquids, and then had a flag boy smile and spit out one of my earrings afterward.I don’t know exactly what happened to me. I seem to be home safe alone, save for a restless kitten. I’ll piece the videos together tomorrow for you; they’re fucking hot as hell. Meanwhile, view the whole set I shot with this guest pass:http://www.flickr.com/gp/97761563@N00/XvpE96

A few faves after the jump… now bed? Fuck, I’m wired and… is it sunday already? Who wants to get a *late* brunch…

(more…)

I just got finished doing my (highly enjoyable) duty as a judge in the Instructables 2008 Laser Cutter contest, where the winner gets a $15,000 VersaLaser. There are 14 incredible finalists, and winners will be announced Monday afternoon-ish. But after culling the 14 tutorials, I spotted this funny “Instructable”: How to make out. It goes well with my other favorite Instructables, Boobs in a Box and Squishy Breast Stress Relief Toy.

I’ve always wanted to own a Swedish Lelo vibrator — they’re really the top of the line but I just can’t justify spending so much on a vibe when I desperately need a new laptop (and meanwhile Helio has me bathed in phones… which apparently works extremely well for both of us, but the mind boggles). Anyway, when I saw that Lelo has a special version of their incredibly designed, rechargeable Nea Black Pearl Valentine Edition I got all wistful. Spotted first over at Josh Spear’s superlative art and design blog (read his post about it, with review — the lucky bastard got one for review ::envy::). Sayeth Josh, “The Valentine Edition was designed by Jesper Kouthoofd (from Acne) who chose to ‘interpret the romanticized aesthetics of an archetypal sweet heart tattoo.’ The final product ‘hints at an age of innocence - vintage 1950 - with undertones of a tender naivety reserved for the realm of pristine love.’”

Want. Anyway, you can get them at the source or here at Amazon, or here from local online retailer Blowfish.

Of course it can! Man, it’s so gloomy and rainy and cold outside here in San Francisco, I went and got myself on a mailing list for goth and altgirl galleries. In addition to the fact that I was getting tired of combing through stick figure Barbie Euro babes for my friday fun feature; I’m just working toward pretty girl diversity around here.

Speaking of Barbies… Okay, I surely did what Rose and Marriah are doing with their dolls above back when I was a Barbie-owning brat, but I definitely didn’t grow up and do what they’re doing to poor Barbs in this gallery. Check out the strangely gloomy glamor in Kellie’s smiley, sepia rooftop set. Since I know there are Justine Joli fans who haunt these pages, I’d be remiss not to send you to her new explicit corset shoot, though it’s not a favorite of mine by any means. On the art nude side of things, I think Cindy Hope has a remarkable face, and I’m actually being serious.

On an intense BDSM note, remember that cutie Andy San Dimas that I profiled on Fleshbot last month, and then she took this picture for me (shot with Jonno’s iPhone)… I just saw that she did a Kink.com shoot for Device Bondage last week — here are images and video. Wow, that’s intense; I know those little clips can really sting.

And, as always, LOLbabe captions are encouraged and will be applied if you send them in… :)

Just spotted at Guardian UK, KittieDex - helping you keep up with cute animals in the news (fun article), and here’s their ‘Dex:

So naturally, I had to make my own. Here’s the FetishDex — I had to be careful with general categories (and sadly left some good ones out) because DayLife Labs pulls results from mainstream media news sources, so a fetish like “latex” might skew the data with results about materials manufacturing:

And then I had to make a SexDex, of general sex topics:

Of course, it can be used to see which tropes and stereotypes the media parade about like little ponies the most in regard to sex — it’s the TropeDex:

Or, how wingnuts get taken seriously, the sequel. Looks like it’s not just the fundies that “cook the books” when it comes to pushing their anti-porn and anti-sex agendas. This is a great example of something I often point out about data and research when it comes to topics like “porn addiction”, “sex addiction”, porn leading to rape or abuse, that MySpace is the leading cause of pedophilia, that teens need prayer and not condoms, etc. There simply is no unbiased data to prove the points. But here’s how it works…

Local anti-porn and anti-sex radical feminist Melissa Farley just came out with a new book about prostitution in Nevada (another one of her pet causes), and the researchers whose data she based her conclusions on are furious (and bewildered) to see their findings so distorted — and the distortions being eaten up by the mainstream media with their gold-stamped fourth estate spoons.

The thing to remember, besides that no one ever questions anti-sex propaganda in public, is that Farley is the person who in March 2007, testified in hearings against Kink.com’s purchase of the San Francisco Armory, comparing the images produced by Kink.com to images of prisoner abuse at Abu Ghraib.

When Kink bought the Armory, local MSM — namely, the SF Chronicle, whom I write for — swallowed the anti-porn stance and ran with it. Which is why I wrote (in my Chronicle column, upsetting many) Kink.com and Porn Hysteria: The Lie of Unbiased Reporting. This piece is in the brand-new anthology Best Sex Writing 2008, I’m proud to say.

Farely’s data-distortions remind me of when I gave my last Google Tech Talk about sexual privacy: I wanted to give the talk after I heard that anti-porn pundit Shelley Lubben was going to speak there about the evils of porn and how it’s our biggest threat to families and children and she was going to plead Google to do something about it. I wanted to counterpoint and show data: in my presentation, I was told by an attendee that she canceled her talk after a couple people from Google offered to help Lubben come up with data and links to support her asssertions. (It’s all in the video, viewed 1,053,471 times, y4y!)

The details about Farley cooking the books (literally) from the POV of the researchers whose data she morphed are in Bewildered, academics pore over sex-trade hysteria - They try to figure out how they got steamrolled:

(…) For Brents and Hausbeck, who have spent more than a decade researching Nevada’s prostitutes, this was like watching an Etch A Sketch being hung in the Louvre. And it worked. The media sucked up sensationalized stories of women ground up like meat by the Vegas sex industry while the researchers were silenced in the stampede.

What happened? they wondered at a quiet academic gathering Sunday. And why was Las Vegas, that bastion of anti-puritanism with its short-skirted cocktail waitresses and its women direct to your room, so quick to hitch up to the anti-prostitution bandwagon? So quick to bite the hand that feeds it?

The duo was caught off guard by a media blitz over San Francisco researcher Melissa Farley’s self-published book, “Prostitution & Trafficking in Nevada: Making the Connections.” Days before Farley started selling it, the book was catapulted into credibility by New York Times columnist Bob Herbert, who swallowed Farley’s thesis — that sex work is violence against women and Nevada is the epicenter of that violence in America — and repurposed it for an article in which he declared: “There is probably no city in America where women are treated worse than in Las Vegas.”

This national coverage horrified the professors, who questioned Farley’s methodology and said she cited their academic work but misinterpreted it in her text. They say her research is anecdotal, not peer-reviewed, and funded by questionable sources.

Why didn’t Herbert, the professors asked, stop to suggest what their own research bares: That some women choose to sell their bodies. And why was Farley’s viewpoint presented as gospel by local reporters, though whenever either Hausbeck or Brents winds up in the media, asserting that not every woman is so helpless as to fall into sex work without a say in the matter, a reporter inevitably seeks out someone like Farley for a flaming counterpoint? Why, they want to know, does the quest for journalistic balance cut only one way? (…)

Link (thanks, anon tipper!).

I’m feeling the same anger and astonishment as Cory Silverberg about this one. What kind of twatwaffle journalist goes into a sex toy shop, records buying a vibrator, then reports the store to the police to get her story? Cory sez,

(…) The story isn’t even about a government or police crackdown on sex toy retailers, it’s about a VERY slow news day in Jackson, Mississippi and what I can only imagine is a very troubled “reporter”.

After hearing rumors that the “Adult Video and Books” boutique on McDowell Road, which had previously been busted for selling sex toys, was at it again, the intrepid Kandiss Crone from the 3 On Your Side “news” team decided to go undercover. Based on the secret audio recording, it sounds like she was confronted with a helpful sales person who sold her a vibrator (she chose “the purple one”). She then went back to confront an unimpressed but entirely pleasant store owner who tried to explain to Ms. Crone all the different places on your body you can use a vibrator (the ones not prohibited by law in Mississippi).

You really have to watch the segment to believe it. I’ve watched it twice, and am left with several thoughts (…)

Link (includes the video, incredibly). Let’s just say that WLBT 3 is NOT on your side.

…is embedded after the jump. It’s almost educational. Think it’s from the 1930s?

(more…)