I want this man to have a book. I’m lobbying for it — no, really.

I recently discovered Demetrius González by way of Flickr; his photos are beautiful, yes, but also to me they’re often incredibly arousing — perhaps because the women he shoots are far from the typical gallery babes, and closer to girls I’d consider more real, and thus, more sexy. More desirable. I found him via a little trick I use to find hot erotic photostreams: I rifle through the “favorited” photos of friends I know are single. And other erotic photographers, of course, but I find that people on the lookout/hunt for sexy fun yield the best results…

Demetrius González self-published a lovely 2008 calendar, Beneath The Skin: Nude Portraits for the 21st Century — but I know him as tanguero on Flickr, which is where a weekend’s worth of pretty girls can be seen. You need to be signed in and have your safe search settings off to see his images — alas, he does not guest pass sets. But he did give me permission to post some of my favorites here (and after the jump). I had some nice fantasies as I combed his work. Yay friday!

(more…)

It’s about time: finally, the realities of sexual predators online, children and teens and sexual abuse are all coming to light — and as I quoted t3knomanser above, the Internet’s role in making kids sexual victims is way overhyped and overblown. Now, there’s data to back it up: In an article titled “Online ‘Predators’ and Their Victims” in American Psychologist (.pdf — read it), the journal of the American Psychological Association, Janis Wolak and co-researchers examined several fears about child sexual predators online — and they concluded that many are myths. The first article about this was Fears of Internet predators unfounded, study finds, but Bruce Schneier’s post on his security and technology blog pulls out the salient bits, such as:

# Internet predators are driving up child sex crime rates.
Finding: Sex assaults on teens fell 52 percent from 1993 to 2005, according to the Justice Department’s National Crime Victimization Survey, the best measure of U.S. crime trends. “The Internet may not be as risky as a lot of other things that parents do without concern, such as driving kids to the mall and leaving them there for two hours,” Wolak said.

# Internet predators are pedophiles.
Finding: Internet predators don’t hit on the prepubescent children whom pedophiles target. They target adolescents, who have more access to computers, more privacy and more interest in sex and romance, Wolak’s team determined from interviews with investigators.

# Internet predators represent a new dimension of child sexual abuse.
Finding: The means of communication is new, according to Wolak, but most Internet-linked offenses are essentially statutory rape: nonforcible sex crimes against minors too young to consent to sexual relationships with adults.

Read his whole post with more of the myths and findings, and the comments are a long but worthwhile read. At the same time, David Pogue at the NYT asks, How Dangerous Is the Internet for Children? He doesn’t mention the study, but talks about his experience being asked to write about the dangers of the Internet for kids for a parenting magazine, and being rejected for not making it into a scare piece — because that’s not what he, as a journalist, was finding. Here’s a snip, with a link to the PBS Frontline documentary Growing Up Online on this very topic, with the same conclusions:

But if you live in terror of what the Internet will do to your children, I encourage you to watch this excellent hour long PBS “Frontline” documentary. (I learned about it in a recent column by Times media critic Virginia Heffernan). It’s free, and it’s online in its entirety. The show surveys the current kids-online situation—thoroughly, open-mindedly and frankly.

Turns out I had it relatively easy writing about the dangers to children under age 12; this documentary focuses on teenagers, 90 percent of whom are online every single day. They are absolutely immersed in chat, Facebook, MySpace and the rest of the Web; it’s part of their ordinary social fabric to an extent that previous generations can’t even imagine. The show carefully examines each danger of the Net. And as presented by the show, the sexual-predator thing is way, way overblown, just as I had suspected. Several interesting interview transcripts accompany the show online; the one with producer Rachel Dretzin goes like this:

“One of the biggest surprises in making this film was the discovery that the threat of online predators is misunderstood and overblown. The data shows that giving out personal information over the Internet makes absolutely no difference when it comes to a child’s vulnerability to predation.” (That one blew my mind, because every single Internet-safety Web site and pamphlet hammers repeatedly on this point: never, ever give out your personal information online.)

“Also, the vast majority of kids who do end up having contact with a stranger they meet over the Internet are seeking out that contact,” Ms. Dretzin goes on. “Most importantly, all the kids we met, without exception, told us the same thing: They would never dream of meeting someone in person they’d met online.” (… read more)

Include the real-life statistics and data on child sexual abuse and you get a fuller picture, which is why I wanted to put this post together. Millions of individuals — particularly children — 65% have been (or are) abused by family members or people they trust or know in real life (and that 30% are abused by their parents, not MySpace).

How sexy are geek/nerd girls? Hot enough to inspire a couple nerdc0re music videos. Thanks to Michelle for MC Chris‘ song Nrrrd Grrrl and post inspiration; I lucked out to find a live version of Schaffer the Darklord’s Nerd Lussst (he’s my fave). Fun stuff:

MC Chris: Nrrrd Grrrl, shot here in SF:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nlaJ4zPbSI[/youtube]

Schaffer the Darklord live at the Knitting Factory in New York, shot by Nerdc0re Rising: The Movie:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bxykh0cvJ8w[/youtube]

Don’t forget MC Frontalot’s love for Goth Girls (MP3). All completed with this link to MC Frontalot’s Pr0n Song lyrics, snip from the middle:

got a boatload of midgets and they’re in command
of a full-grown woman on her knees and hands
got a long hard donkey and a farmgirl too
and the braying’s so dismaying when he starts to spoo
gotta click close
put it away
’cause the internet is f-i-l-t-h-y

lurking in #pass chans on the irc
got dcc’d unexpectedly
with an 80-minute XviD: Nuns In Heat
Part Three, Bad Habits. I’m so l337
that I had that one already
skipped to the part with the fishnet teddy
whipped it out, but to my chagrin
one toss from a win and the boss walked in
said “nuh-uh Front, that terminal ain’t
for a latex crucifix spanking a taint
in big 32-bit color
while them rosary beads get yanked out the cruller”
I said “you can’t fire me; I quit!”
opened up the case, yanked out the hard disk
absconded, all with the data in hand:
31 years of Hustler scans
plans for how to construct a love-swing
alt.binaries.everything
archived since spring of ‘92
receipt for my RealDoll’s stripper shoes

Photo by the superlative Dave Naz.

My erotic pain and bondage loving, feminist art gallery owning friend Madison Young has a new movie out, Tail of a Bondage Model — I haven’t seen the film so I can’t vouch for it yet, but Blowfish has a trailer up for it already here (.mov). Also, she added more freebees to her site here (autoplay warning on the video).

Photo by Eddie, prank by BLF, seen last night @ 14th & Valencia in San Francisco.

Image: Lorelei Lee seems to be helping with cleanup at the Armory. Link leads to gallery and videos of her sensory deprivation scene for The Training of O in the Armory’s old shooting range.

It’s pretty funny to wake up with a press release in my inbox, and be like, this is the first press release I’ve ever gotten… from my best friend! I’m not one to regurgitate press releases, but I’ll snip the salient bits from the announcement and ooze just a drop of jealousy that Thomas has Peter Acworth saying things about him like that (me = green eyes). Snips:

Kink.com Welcomes New Public Relations Manager: Taps 20 Year Veteran of Sex Writing, Marketing and Sex Education

SAN FRANCISCO (February 28, 2008)Kink.com announced the hire of veteran writer and sex educator Thomas Roche as Public Relations Manager, in a move founder and Kink.com owner Peter Acworth said would help the company continue its focus not only on sales, but also on community outreach and positive educational messages.

“Thomas doesn’t just bring along his marketing and advertising background,” said Acworth. “He’s been a community sex educator for fifteen years and a professional sexuality writer since the 1980s. He understands our mission, not only to provide fetish entertainment but to change the world’s thinking about alternative sexualities in general.”

Already a widely published author in the erotica world and a six-year veteran of the medical advertising industry, Roche served as Marketing Manager at San Francisco erotic retailer Good Vibrations (www.goodvibes.com) from 2001-2004. From 2005-2008, he was the Managing Editor at Eros Zine (www.eros-zine.com), the cutting-edge erotic arts and culture webzine founded by Eros Guide CEO Byron Mayo.

In 1993, Roche joined local educational group San Francisco Sex Information (www.sfsi.org) as a phone volunteer and since 1998 has served as a member of their all-volunteer training staff, which conducts a four-weekend, 60-hour course in sex education twice a year for healthcare workers, mental health professionals, writers, speakers, educators and the general public.

“I figure there are dream jobs, then there are dream jobs — then there’s Kink.com,” said Roche. “They understand the power of sexual fantasy to liberate, not just to make money. At the core of it is the belief that consensual sexual adventure is a healthy lifestyle choice.”

Continued Roche: “Having written about sex for more than two decades and taught sex ed as well, I believe Kink.com is one of the few porn companies where the dialog about sexuality is driven by the principles of the BDSM community. The work is edgy and taboo, but even more importantly it’s safe, sane and consensual.”

Then it goes on about press and PR blah, blah, affiliates, blah blah… but congrats, Thomas! And all this time, here I was hoping that your new job at Kink would be at Butt Machine Boys… Oooh, he’s going to smack me for that one at our Friday lunch tomorrow…

…which is apparently the new black, or pink, if you will. This week’s SF Chronicle column is Dude, Where’s My G-Spot? and I think you’ll like this one… Snip:

OK, so I was at NOPA last night drinking a delicious absinthe cocktail, and my male companion said something rude, so I left. I was angry: I packed up my pussy and went home, and yes, I know should not have been driving after a cocktail. But when I woke up the next morning, I could find only my keys.

I spent the afternoon wandering around the Castro trying to find where I parked my G-spot. Only to discover that when I got home, some Italian researchers had told the press that I might not have even had one in the first place. How the hell did I get home?

Full disclosure: I just wrote a book called The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot (see also tinynibbles.com/gspot), with fresh facts — and it’s a take-no-prisoners, hold the granola guide to the fact that every single biological female has a G-spot (and how to have fun with it).

So why the new controversy about the G-spot?

Perhaps because in Italy last week, someone did some G-spot spelunking using the “two hands and a flashlight” method. The BBC reported:

“The latest research, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, was carried out (by) the Dr. Emmanuele Jannini at the University of L’Aquila, and involved just 20 women.Ultrasound was used to measure the size and shape of the tissue beyond the ‘front’ wall of the vagina, often suggested as the location of the G-spot. In the nine women who reported being able to achieve vaginal orgasm, the tissues between the vagina and the urethra — which carries urine out of the body — were on average thicker than in the 11 women who could not reach orgasm this way. Dr Jannini said: “For the first time, it is possible to determine by a simple, rapid and inexpensive method if a woman has got a G-spot or not.”

Reading this reminded me of the good old days of Plato’s wandering uterus. Remember those? Good times. Mine always wanders back, like a raccoon in the Haight that remembers where you used to set out the cat food. (…)

Link.

I caught this item at Slate, a little bit on how The Canada Border Services Agency prohibits the importation of any materials “deemed to be obscene”, and that their new guide is a bit puzzling (and the irony is not lost on me that they published their new guidelines for obscene DVDs, books, comics, etc. on Valentine’s Day). Slate explains their procedures in brief but clear detail that includes .pdfs to guidelines and blacklisted items in No Obscenity, Please. We’re Canadian. Being who I am, I perused the 17-page document, Quarterly List of Admissible and Prohibited Titles (.pdf) and saw that one of my favorite classic erotic comics was on the prohibited list: Erich von Gotha’s Troubles of Janice (listed in French on the list). I discovered this hot and nasty, and deliriously decadent Victorian-era (though modern) comic while working at the (then) extremely politically correct Good Vibrations. We carried it because it met our scrupulous standards of clearly defined fantasy, and artistic and erotic value; it is a “story of o” — featuring intense/extreme female sexual submission and BDSM (much like what they do at Kink.com), but even GV saw that it was not degrading, although the fantasies suggest nonconsent — while read in the narrative’s context of Janice’s “training” for her husband “Captain”, they are not.I just thought it was interesting. Especially since I just got sent a copy of Greta Christina’s new book, Best Erotic Comics 2008 (like Janice, also published by Last Gasp) and after a few lingering glances, the collection looks to be really quite hot.

Update: My friend Viviane emails,

I thought you’d be amused. My friend Selina Fire’s story was ripped out a Penthouse at the Canadian border:

“BTW, I found out my story for October Penthouse Forum was so dirty it
was BANNED IN CANADA! When the shipment of copies of that issue hit
the Canadian border the Canadian distributor refused to distribute my
story, so it had to be literally cut out of 8,000 copies of the
magazine! My editor said I should be very proud of myself. He said
he only wishes it had been his story, and that this has never happened
in the 10 years he’s been dealing with the Canadians. Luckily for the
folks at Penthouse, other Canadian distributors finally agreed to
carry the remaining thousands of issues that are part of its regular
run up there. Anyway, I feel like I’ve achieved a great honor: Too
Dirty for Penthouse! Holy smokes. :) “

Here’s her post, Banned in Canada.

Still from Vampyros Lesbos via Tmrrw Never Knows’ great collection.

There’s a very obvious reason Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles were so cult-like successful: they were erotic to the core, and Lestat was evil, an anti-hero rife with sexual tension and bloodlusty pathos. I just read that fallen atheist, born-again (after she wrote the good stuff) Rice is coming out with a new book in her Vampire Chronicles, which will “have a definite Christian framework and a focus on the theme of redemption”. Now, I have friends and fans (and fiends) of all faiths, but come on, Rice. Get a clue. Snip from Time:

Upon returning to the church after a more than three-decade absence, the author in 2005 dramatically and publicly declared that she would never again return to writing about vampires. Said Rice in an interview with Christianity Today: “I would never go back, not even if they say you will be financially ruined. I would be a fool for all eternity to turn my back on God like that.”

But never say never. While Rice justifies her decision by saying the book will have a definite Christian framework and a focus on the theme of redemption, she admits that the future chronicle will once again involve the character Lestat and a fictional organization known as the Talamaska that is responsible for investigating the supernatural. Much like the author herself, Lestat will be wrestling with the existence of God throughout the story. “I don’t see it as a violation of my promise, because I won’t be writing about vampires in the same way,” Rice maintains.

Link. (via)

Never say never indeed. I notice she’s not mentioning her previous novels written under the name AN Roquelaure, the Claiming of Sleeping Beauty series where Beauty is put through endless explicit hardcore trials in training as a sexual slave, with a focus on ponygirl sexual servitude and spankings. Lots and lots and lots of spankings. By the 150th spanking on page 150 I was like, okay, I feel spanked, and didn’t finish the series. But — am I the only one who finds it eerily foreshadowy that Lestat was played by Scientology cult fanatic preacher-man Tom Cruise in the film adaptation of Rice’s classic eroto-horror novel, Interview With The Vampire (a casting choice Rice vehemently defended despite fandom opposition)? And now, it looks like Lestat just might become as sexless and fanatical as Cruise-Christ himself?

Granted, Rice hasn’t decried (or mentioned) the sexuality of her vampires, but I remember how sexy and dark and delicious those books made me feel as a young girl. Lestat was evil, true to his nature and it was *all* about the sex. Will we be seeing “The Redemption And Anti-Fetish Salvation of Sleeping Beauty” anytime soon, ’cause her name is *still* all over those books? Lord loves a hypocrite. Rice: I call FAIL.

Monika and Martina by Guido Argentini via Guy Hepner

I’ve been up working since before 9am, and this is my good night kiss to myself — and you, dear reader. I often say that reading my blog is a lot like dating me, and now moreso with comments! It’s been a day of research due at 10am (for a team project I just got an email about completion 30 minutes ago, yay thank you incredible team), column research and writing, making more backend pages for the new site design (mmm, backend) phone meetings and much more. I did get the Goldilocks-style dildo bins while I was out, too — hey, a girl needs a coffee break… In between, I saw and read a few things that are good, bad and downright awful. Here we go:

* This clip of my celebrity crush Viggo Mortensen fighting naked in a men’s sauna (via Fleshbot) is intensely Reservoir Dogs violent, but holy goddamnit Mortensen is sexy and it’s super-hot. Reminds me of my #1 Hollywood sex scene, the one of the stairs from History of Violence (embedded after the jump). #2 is every sweet and tender scene in Secretary, including the typo spanking, also embedded after the jump, though be warned my blog looks weird because that function seems to be bugged/broken for the moment…

* Inventor’s Spot has this top ten list of sexiest lingerie and sex toy ad campaigns (via Viviane). Agree?

* Horrifying beyond belief: the anonymous tip to this awful, scary news item about an Australian gynecologist — known as “the Butcher of Bega” — who mutilated and abused hundreds of women, even though he’d been reported *ten years ago*:

Carolyn Dewaegeneire, a patient who broke her silence on a national TV news program last week, was admitted to Pambula Hospital on August 2002 to have a minor lesion removed from her labia. Before she lost consciousness to a general anesthetic, she said Reeves leaned over and whispered in her ear: “I’m going to take your clitoris, too.” After the operation she discovered all her external genitalia had been cut off her body. It is alleged Reeves later boasted of removing “all the fun bits” — and said she wouldn’t need them as her husband had died. In 1997, the Professional Standards Committee did not strike him off but banned him from being an obstetrician.

* Off topic: can I just say how happy it makes me to see Comcast get spanked for fucking with clients’ p2p/BitTorrent use!?

* Disney planning an adult boutique club for naughty-minded VIP’s? Can we look forward to Minnie Suicide anytime soon, I hope? Nope — it’s all over the blogs but smells like a resurgent hoax, folks… (Thanks for link #1, C!)

* Guy Hepner sells some incredible erotic art, and his Flickr photostream has tons of arousing, lovely samples from (and of) some very famous people like Helmut Newton, and Drew Barrymore when she was still cute and hot. (Guido Argentini image via.)

* Hot sex scenes after the jump — which is bugged and the presentation is broken because of something in the YouTube script I think (so tired), so watch the yummy videos then hit your “back” button to comment. I hope to have this solved soon:

(more…)

Holy bejeezuz, I got a huge compliment in the form of a shout-out from celebrated SF Chronicle (fellow!) columnist Jon Carroll. Snip:

I realized some time ago that, for a lot of my readers, I’m not on any page at all - I’m on their computer screen, which is located wherever they want it to be. I live on SFGate.com, which is a pretty valuable chunk of real estate itself. The site has just been redesigned to look even spiffier, with HuffPost-like boxes and doodads, and there’s even a box for columnists. There is no Page E2 on SFGate, and this entire column is going to be somewhat bewildering to my readers out there in byte-land.

The space in cyberspace is essentially infinite, which makes it far more flexible than dead-tree space. If SFGate wants to add a columnist, it does; it doesn’t have to fire someone to make room. SFGate readers have recently been treated to Violet Blue’s discussion of the Geek Squad’s porn problem, which is alarming in several ways and not something I’ve seen anywhere in hard copy. Worth the price of admission, which is, let me see, zero.  (…)

Link.

Staying warm in an Extra Action band jacket: more images.

Which will soon become my *life* on spin cycle when March begins (with my upcoming ETech talk, and SXSW here and here speaking engagements)… It’s been a quiet weekend on Tiny Nibbles but a combo of all-work plus some really serious play behind the scenes…

The work has been all about my marching orders to finally put together a video (called a “demo reel”) which is basically like a video resume of all the videoblogging I’ve done. Well, not really all the work — to my amazement, there’s tons of VB-vlogging out there. But rather, trying to nail down highlights of … um, me. Which is a weird feeling, like putting together an ad for yourself. So starting last wednesday I began combing through vlog archives, and spent around 8 hours a day through saturday finally nailing down edits and scenes. It of course all culminated with a major iMovie bug that even stumped Apple’s service department (another day gone, lost to making the video). But I found a workaround: for the interested nerds, it was interpreting certain .mov clips and exporting them super-blown up, so you’d only see 1/4 of the screen, while other clips looked fine. The problem was never solved using Apple’s export function, but I got it to behave with total updates top to bottom on my computer, plus exporting to (only) QuickTime, with h264… Sheesh. I am NOT a technical person, I just solve problems…

But, I realized I have a few favorites from the archives worth re-sharing:

* GETV: Musee Mechanique: Mechanical Amusements From the Past
* GETV: Nerd Salon and Roomba Cockfights

(Check out the quality differences in our old + new GETV videos, wow!)

* me: The Smart Girl’s Guide to the MSM
* me: Sex Toy Gifts From Good Vibes
* me: Xacti Waterproof Field Test
* me: Prep For Maker Faire + SRL Home Movies
* me: Videoblogging Week Day 10 (aka “the cute little cow video”)

Then, the fun bits. Like going *insane* after midnight on saturday night with the Extra Action Marching Band at a private party downtown in a high-rise (see my photoset). Imagine how outofmymind happy I was to be hugged and harassed and nuzzled and told flat-out I was family, dammit, and then I put down the camera and hopped on a table, grabbed a pole and danced inappropriately with/under/on top of trumpet players.

Game party Flickr photoset; use this guest pass to see all images.

I also got to escape to the exclusive (!) White Wolf Games party, where I cruised around the bondage spaces (um, gamers sure can throw a party), hung out with the gorgeous and incredible (and Violet Wand electrified) Poni — the artist formerly known as Evil Ponygirl, who will NOT be appearing at the SF Fetish Ball — ugh, more hurtful name bullshit. Anyway, every touch from Poni tingled and she pet me warmly while we chatted, and it was sweet and fun, just like she is sweet and fun. I have video of go-go dancers, but I’m off the iMovie crack for a few days until I have my tolerance back… And hopefully I’ll have some sexy video for you, like this still image sample:

Now, back to our regularly scheduled blogging, work on my ETech presentation and more columnizing. Oh, and I cleaned out my sex toy treasure chests, so I should remember today to *leave the house* and get some new plastic bins for dildos and plugs, which I can then very Virgo-like subsequently label, “Too Big!” “Too Small!” and “Just Right!”

Image via h.andras_xms.

The Geek Squad has been known for their file-rifling, porn-stealing issues for a while (thanks to Consumerist). But only when local blogger Ariel Waldman asked about their classic, “it’s sex so who cares” issues at a San Francisco marketing and customer service summit conference, did Best Buy’s Geek Squad’s privacy, porn, sex and anti-blogger attitude come to light. (Long after everyone who read a blog knew that Geek Squad had been going through users’ personal files, and learned the disgusting truth when a guilt-racked Best Buy employee was the whistle blower on what they all did with porn performer Jasmine Grey’s trust and livelihood — fessing up only after Grey died in a tragic car crash.) On video: Ariel asked, and Eddie caught it on film. Plus *more*… We are the media, indeed — this week’s column is The Geek Squad’s ongoing porn problem / Bloggers catch the tech service pilfering porn and it turns into a local PR disaster, while Violet Blue wonders ‘Is nothing sacred? Snip from the midsection:

(…) No public statements have been made from the Geek Squad’s PR department about the porn theft exposed by Consumerist, their exploitation of Jasmine Grey, or the Geek Squad’s practice of examining their customers’ files during the process of equipment repair.

That is, until the Customer Service is the New Marketing summit and conference here in San Francisco two weeks ago. The Geek Squad came with a team who hovered on a balcony over the conference while Geek Squad founder Robert Stephens took the stage for his talk, entitled “Marketing is a Tax You Pay for Being Unremarkable.” Little did he realize that while he was onstage, there were full-on back-channel conversations on various social networking instant message sites about Geek Squad’s nonconsensual “customer service.”

So when it came time for Q & A, local blogger, respected social community management expert, professional social media insights consultant, Engadget columnist, and community manager for Pownce Ariel Waldman spoke up.

Rather than drop off Stephens at Kink.com for a lesson in respect at the (feminist-identified) boot heels of Princess Donna, Waldman asked Stephens for a statement in front of his peers, asking what kind of outreach the Geek Squad plans on doing to make their customers feel safe from exploitation like this in the future.

You can watch their exchange here at the 46:10 mark (the session was recorded by local GETV vlogger Eddie Codel). You can also see Waldman’s take on his response to her question here:

“Robert’s response immediately jumped into a cringe-worthy response, by saying first and foremost that bloggers are not journalists and don’t ever hold themselves to the same standards as journalists. He then called out Ben Popken from Consumerist for asking for his response to these issues, but having already published the story. He said if bloggers publish the story first without waiting for his response that it’s not a 2-way conversation and he just won’t respond to it at all. He said bloggers will need to someday need to hold themselves to journalist standards because they have far too much competition to not to.So, he didn’t answer AT ALL about things they’re trying to do to make people or their customers feel better about these issues. He was defensive about the question, instead of being sensitive to the issue, which was disappointing. If you’re for enabling conversation within your company, you should be for enabling positive conversation online as well, instead of writing it off as bloggers only being a form of disrespectful trolls.”

Personally, my reaction would have been to get on the Ocean with Princess Donna for an emergency takedown, followed by a trip to the Armory for some serious blogosphere discipline and knee-pad-needed lessons in sexual privacy. Followed by a dog-collar-and-leash march over to the Electronic Frontier Foundation for more sexual identity and privacy deprogramming.

According to Consumerist in the breakout post “Geek Squad Hatched Plot To Harvest Porn From Pornstar Jasmine Grey’s Hard Drive, Days Before She Died In Car Crash,” it wasn’t an isolated employee (or ‘one luggage handler,’ as Stephens might say): An entire team passed Jasmine Grey’s pictures around. The Geek Squad whistle-blower told Consumerist (…) Link.

See also: My friend Jesse Jane’s post, How the Geek Squad Scored My Porn (on her kickass blog), which I wish I’d caught before filing my column.

Hey! Notice anything different around here? Leave a comment of love for the man behind the curtain and tell me what you think (in the WTFMTFBBQ comments!? Do they work?), and the hours of non-paid volunteer work which made the beginning of tinynibbles version xxx.666 (aka version puttytat) possible. Thank you 0×0000 (Jonathan Moore)! The redesign is making me drool and quiver… It’s gorgeous. I no longer have to fire up 2 old computers and an external hard drive to make a change to my site!

Aaaand: I’m deeply conflicted about the beginning, but as you might have already seen on Laughing Squid — I’m an (and on) Internet Superstar. The interview (halfway through) is one of the best I’ve done *ever* and I really like Martin Sargent way too much, and I’m frighteningly happy about the interview itself. I just regret the way too long, passe and pastiche intro jokes about something, that as a friend put in an email yesterday: “(…) this woman has used and abused your name and cost you time, money, blood, sweat, and tears. You never should have had to suffer this indignity.” (Like her recent pregnant gangbang porn a friend just told me about found on a clip site, for example… Ugh. ***see update*** ) Still, it’s a great interview and you see me admit how tough it is to be me and be a flawed human who dates, and the embarrassingly obvious things on my sexual “to-do” lists. I look way better in the (unscripted) interview than in the still-frame shot, and endless thanks to the love @ Madame S for providing the sex toy props to help me keep Sargent under control.

***Update: “I met with Ms. Johnson and she assures me that the statements my friend made to me mischaracterizes the situation.”

Enjoy the new blog… I’ve never been so stoked about my blog (= my life) ever! Except I’m still having problems making it look right in drafts or if I have links *really* linked… Patience and love, please :D

Geek Squad fun update: A reader emailed me this so we can all make patches and wear them (thanks, S!)…

Dig Thomas Roche’s awesome post OTAKU MAnKO: Unlimited Minutes:

For the last few years I’ve had a day job where I write oodles and oodles of articles about porn, fetish and adults-only events. I almost never see the sun; I drink more coffee than the nation of Turkey and when I get home after a 10 or 11 hour day, I often respond to my significant other’s “How was your day?” with a crazed owl-like stare for a few minutes until I remember that this language I type in can, occasionally, also be spoken.

Since I pretty rarely talk on the phone, I’ve spent some years now as a mobile-impaired American — that is to say, I’ve had one of those cheap pay-per-minute cell phone plans for which “Unlimited minutes” means “Limited only by your rapidly-dwindling bank balance.”

I’m switching jobs, though, and there will be a lot of phone calls in my immediate future. Soon I’ll be one of those schmoes you see walking down the street with a Borg headset saying things like “You tell Antonio we’ll need documentation on PX4 migration and a twenty RSV, maybe a CTTA with vio markers and a TS4 or, more probably, “Let’s run it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes.” “Unlimited minutes” for me is pretty soon going to mean “Limited only by the hours in the day and the number of people you can keep on hold at one time.”

What does this have to do with my sex life? Plenty. Because, you see, pay-per-minute plans are a really crappy way to have phone sex.

(…) No, no, I’m talking about free phone sex, the kind you have with a boyfriend, girlfriend, otherfriend, fuckbuddy or distant acquaintance, or whatever. It’s hot, it’s taboo, it’s sleazy and it’s wrong, which makes it overridingly awesome, especially if you have it while rollerblading in the park, sitting in traffic or pretending to take an important sales call in the hallway in the corridor outside the corporate boardroom while your boss laserpoints a flow chart and says things like “Maximize the supply chain lead conversion ratio through product development interdynamics” and “Focus on center-specific IT protocols while codifying network goals” — and you stand outside saying, “Sure, we can get you those documents by EOB Tuesday” (then whispering) “Yeah, slut, work that fuckin’ egg beater, you sick little spank monkey!”

I mean, what could be dirtier? The unlimited-minute cell phone plan, like the white collar job, carries with it as a God(dess)-given fringe benefit the right to a conversational reacharound in the most inappropriate possible situations. How the hell else is a self-respecting secret pervert supposed to make it through the day, let alone anything resembling a commute?

Problem is, in many ways I’m shy as all fuck, a fact lamented in these hallowed pages just last week. My own phone sex experiences are few and far between, and tend to be rather famously unsuccessful. Which is why despite my ability to disgorge 75,000 words of profligate sexual debauchery in what amounts to a weeklong almost unbroken cafe-table fuckfest of Yergacheffe-fueled delirium, when faced with the possibility of phone sex with a steamy goddess of love, stern bitch in combat boots, college girl in a bunny suit or other willing participant, I tend to tremble uncontrollably and burble things like “Stick your finger up my butt!” and “Boobs!!”

Link: read more.

Hot image via Omegadead.

Back when I had expendable cash, I purchased an Eye-Fi card, in hopes that I could liveblog parties and conventions/summits and events from my nice(er) camera than the phonecammy (but crazy reliable) Helio Ocean. I got it off Amazon, it worked once. In someone elses’ house; I tried to reconfigure it to work in *my own house* and got a message that it needed an update. I clicked the update buttons (me = Leopard, iBook) and it stalled and stalled… and then broke. I’ve been trying to get it to see the card ever since; it keeps telling me I need updates. I emailed custie service, got a reply long after my email, then did as they told me to. I replied saying ’still, no recognition of my card and got an auto-response that I emailed from an unidentified address. Then nothing from Eye-Fi for weeks. Then an email asking what OS I was using, followed by “this ticket has been closed as SOLVED.”

I just spent a whole evening trying to reinstall the software, update the card, even deleted the account to re–gift the card to a friend (as suggested on their site) to get a circle-jerk of ‘no account exists’ or ‘create a new account’ with grayed-out buttons.

So o hai — fuck you, Eye-Fi. Don’t get one, they FAIL. Do not buy one. All their website hype is BS; the only person that seems to make it work is my sweet friend Phillip, but that’s no surprise, is it… ?

Talk about being jacked around. Grrr.

Update: Great news! Eye-Fi saw this and contacted me and apologized for all the chaos, and they’re sending me a new card, with an offer of help if Irun into problems. Yay and thank you! That’s great customer service and blogger outreach. I think if I have one that works I can really push it in some fun ways. I’m sending my old one back so they can see if something went kaplooey in the upgrades… Wheee!

Today I’m on the front page of Melbourne’s newspaper, The Age (story here):

It’s officially a meme — the hilarious Steve Jobs Is Your New Bicycle generator comes up with this as a possible result (thanks C!):

And it just wouldn’t be a nice day without seeing something like this (Merkley??? does household chores):

* It is now finally legal to sell vibrators and sex toys in Texas — due to the legal machine of Phil Harvey at Adam and Eve.

* Japanese Wii porn (hardcore video). *Now* I’ll learn tennis. (thanks, well-known mystery vlogger!)

* Dacia has this superlative post about the ethics behind people who post the writings of sex workers and their clients — and the (IMHO) fucked up comeback of — summed up in the woman’s post title — “So, Would It Be OK If I Fucked For Money?” Audacia Ray proved her mettle hitting back with “Jeez, I guess now we know a little better her attitude about sex workers - many of whom don’t fuck for money. I want to have as many voices chiming in as possible, but the whole idea of submitting stories to a blog without comments and without connection to sex worker communities… like I said, I think there are better places for those stories to be told.” The comments say it all — read it. There’s a whole different kind of sexploitation going on when the age-old stereotypes are used for consumption from a sex-negative space, and not from a true desire to understand and tell a story.

* Check out this Flickr porn experiment. Do the wives know? Yikes. Great post. (thanks, JL!)

* Speaking of: there are hot art photos in violetta225’s photostream (no relation).

* I did have a Valentine’s Day post on Fleshbot — it was chocolaty messy goodness.

* I think the GAYVN’s are having major growing pains. I mean, cash bar and 1.5 minutes of Derek and Romaine!? And the announcer screwed up the name(s) of the winner for “Best Bisexual Film” so bad no one knew who won, so no one took the stage to accept. I here by decree we have a LBT (sans G) awards show instead. How hot would that be — nummy lesbians and hot trannies a go-go…

* Everything about “Sexina: Pornstar P.I.” scares the living hell out of me, from Adam West (OG Batman) to Davey Jones (OG Monkee). Yup, you read that right. Do I dare venture to the SF Film Fest for it? Uhhh… (via, + article)

* According to my sources, Eros Zine will be suspending publication as of their February 19, 2008 issue. Wow.

* Best quote of the day: “Why the HELL aren’t porn performers in the Screen Actors’ Guild!?”

* Best answer: “The acronym.”

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A girl and her GB500. Need I say more? Pure unfiltered happy.

Here’s the whole video — it’s long but I think it came out well. Here is the Google Doc link to the text I based my talk on (with linked citations throughout) and here is a link to the public Google Slideshow doc I used while I spoke. Enjoy!

Oh oh oh — and this is also the debut of my teen sex ed resource page, linked at the “under 18″ on my entry age-check page.

Here are the chastity belts loaned from Madame S:

Now, back to our regularly scheduled blogging…

I gave my Google Tech Talk today at Google HQ in Mountain View — what a great group of people. Funny, a bit raucous (in all the right ways), and fun. The room was full, and it was twice the size of the last room I spoke at Google in… Phew! And look — I scored some Google condoms for Valentine’s Day!

Thank you Google, and especially to my host and those I connected with. See you in April! I’ll publish the entire talk in text with links in the next few days, plus the Google Doc slides I used — it’s waaaay easier than PowerPoint. I’m never using PP again :)

Special thanks to Madame S for providing the chastity belts!

Looks like it’ll be a while until I get my blog/backend finished, so I’m giving up on it for a while — and now I’m off to teach abstinence to Google! Wish me luck, I’m super-nervous. Also, read my column today — Don’t Brood, Get in the Mood.

Love,
me!

Photo of Deborah by the known universe.

I’ve got some major work to do on the — haha, I know — back end of Tiny Nibbles and the blog starting this afternoon, so I just want to let readers know that:

a) the blog might be quiet for a day or two (my site is sprawling, like 170+ pages, not including archives, so there’s a lot to manage)
b) you might see some odd test posts here and there that will likely be temporary (though I’ll try to make them entertaining)
c) I may lose it from staring at screen and code and have to do some moblogging, which I’ll post on my Flickr page — if it’s naughty (hope hope hope), I’ll guest pass it for ya.

Don’t take a cold shower yet! Watch a BDSM exercise class and dig sexy leopard print tasers (plus other sexy weapons).

Stay warm for me: I’ll be expecting our friendship with benefits when I get my upgrades/changes done. In the meantime, I’m making your pretty girl friday/saturday dedicated to hotness from talented indies. Such as:

* the beautiful women and n00ds in the known universe’s Flickr sets (image via)
* the wonderful hotel photos and book-sexy color nudes in barneyljc’s Flickr photostream, like this one in London
* the outrageous candy-inspired oil paintings of pretty naked girls and snowy candyland scenery by my new favorite painter, Will Cotton
* super moody, eloquent and strangely arousing photos by Linus Ricard (below image via, found via my pal ponyXpress, whose blog is a weekend of sexy femme photo arousal all on its own…)

I’m at home tonight working on my next Google Tech Talk and it’s so crazy sex nerdy fun and full of research that I’m just sitting here alone, wishing…. I hereby make a wish for a financial benefactor so all I have to do is write my Chron column, give Google Tech Talks on sex, and blog (usage: verb) in my extra time. (Just rent on my apartment and a functional laptop! I can freelance the cat food and lube and absinthe bills!)

You see, on Valentine’s Day next week, I’m giving another Google Tech talk, my second — it’s an hour-long “abstinence-only” lesson, with benefits. It’s for their own good, of course. I’m the teacher, they’re the (unknowing) students, and I have props and visuals, and data and research and OMG *actual* handouts. You won’t believe the stuff I’m discovering in my research… I am SO excited for this one. I’ve been asked to talk there monthly, but since all this is in my “spare” time I’ve agreed to bi-monthly (insert bi joke here).

But I wish this was all I did. It’s bringing me so much joy to bring together so many facets of my sex ed experience and knowledge (and snarkiness) in such a relevant, fun, informative and direct channel; more joy than I’ve felt about my work in a long time. And it’s going to *rock* the staff. Of course, I’m signing permission to have the video posted online afterward, and I’ll let you know the minute that goes on YouTube.

So I’m going to pause from my research now, and go find the antique brass dildo I bought at the Bayview flea market for $1 and polish it until a genie appears…

I want to thank sweet, generous local adult retailer/manufacturer Madame S and Mr. S Leathers for loaning me some very *interesting* props to bring on the Internet Superstar show today — I think I actually used one for self-defense at one point. There’s a reason Martin Sargent’s mom only lets him film out in the backyard shed… It was the most fun I’ve had on a show to date, and Martin even had *me* blushing at one point. No small feat there… I’ll let you know when the show is airing as soon as I find out.

Then, I just saw I have 365 comments on my Chronicle column today. Jeebus on a glitter butt plug pogo stick, that’s a lot to read through… :)

Inflatable Godzilla meets his match with a blow-up doll Russian mail order bride. Let’s just say it is an epic tale of love, a story depicting triumph of passionate will over the vinyl-pressed orifice-challenged, and a few tricks from the “homeland”. Found via Silent Porn Star.

I’m about to run out and go be a guest on Internet Superstar, so I got myself in the right mood (feeling nervous, as usual) by watching this Eddie Izzard bit on hacking and computers. Enjoy!

Image of Nicole @ 4am at local 24-hour grease pit Sparky’s by Merkley??? This is how we all look when we end up there at 4am. And eventually, we all do.

It’s cold, we just had a million days of freezing rain, everyone’s depressed and breaking up, and it’s dark and I’m trying to be all “Wig in a Box” about my life and… Yet, San Franciscans still can’t keep their clothes on, or keep me from loving them. But dammit, it’s cold, and I don’t want everyone to get the flu again like we all did in January. Hence this week’s column: a love letter to the wicked little town that just can’t keep its clothes on. Here’s a snip from Naked in San Francisco - When it’s so cold and rainy, why can’t we all just keep our clothes on?:

Dear San Francisco,

I love you. You’ve raised me the hard way, you’ve lovingly taught me about diversity and compassion and understanding, and most importantly how to say things like, “You go, girl — and take those tacky shoes with you.” Our relationship means more to me than anything. But now I feel like I’m getting all grown up on you, and have to get a nagging issue off my B-cups:

It is cold and rainy outside. In fact, it’s freezing. If you must go out, please put some clothes on.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy the bobbing bits and jiggly jugs that ornament Bay to Breakers annually; that’s all sporty and in May, and runners stay warm. (Or so I’ve heard. Do I look like a girl who jogs?) The recent San Francisco No Pants Subway Ride looked chilly, but at least you all had your undies and tops on so you didn’t catch a cold or the devastating MUNIan-flu that seems to be making the rounds right now. The San Francisco World Naked Bike Ride (sanfrancisco.worldnakedbikeride.org) takes place in June — admittedly not our warmest month, but still. And our nude beaches? That’s just another predictable summer feature. At least our Folsom Street Fair (folsomstreetfair.org), the nationwide poster-child for anti-sex fundies’ “look at the nekkid sodomites” hand-wringing, was probably carefully negotiated by BDSM Best Standards and Practices to be held in late September, guaranteeing asses sunburned in the shape of chaps and rope-harness tan lines for all.

Right now, the FCC is about to slap ABC affiliates with a $1.4 million fine for a glimpse of actress Charlotte Ross’ naked behind in an episode of NYPD Blue that aired five years ago (thanks to current administration politics and the American Family Association). It’s a glimpse of normal human nudity after 9 p.m. and the fine proves the FCC is clearly out of touch with the communities it serves, the real world and the future. It looks like the FCC is a much bigger threat to broadcast TV revenue than YouTube. (My NSFW analysis and coverage, with video, is at tinyurl.com/2cym33.)

But my sweet, sweet San Francisco: We’re way more tolerant than that minority. Even if sometimes on Craigslist someone has to express a few personal ground rules for gym-room posing and pecker-peeping, as in this Best of Craigslist posting:

“Dear San Francisco Gymnasium Nude Guy: (…)

Link.

… is after the jump. :)

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Image of Amsterdam’s red light district at night by smudo.

There are what seem like a bazillion blogs written by sex workers of all genders, vocations and nationalities — for fun, personal blog-therapy and for profit, all over the lube-slick Internets. But blogs by their clients are rare, and thusly pretty fascinating. I became Internet pals over the years with one of the more well-known blogging “johns” who wrote of his first-person experiences and ratings of service providers at Viewing the Local Antiquities, until he stopped last April. I got a tip in my inbox a few days ago that the largest and most popular prostitution nightclub in Rio was just declared “state property” by the government and how it’ll be turned into an art and sound museum by March (putting up to 1000 workers out; I have a quick news post about it for Fleshbot tomorrow). But I got a chance to cruise (pardon the pun) my tipper’s blog, and he’s quite a dedicated client — and also an accomplished writer, very articulate and is exploring the boundaries and definitions between sex work and traditional relationships in detail. I haven’t seen candor like this in quite a while, especially without romanticizing the sex worker and client exchange. (In my opinion, anyway — I know plenty of sex workers but have never done sex work myself so I know I have a singular view, and this is a caveat because I’m sure someone will disagree with me.) He writes on Sex Tourism / Sex Travel - Adventures of an Average Joe about himself saying,

I’ve been a dedicated sex tourist since 2003. In other words, I love fucking foreign hookers, especially in Brazil. Not that I like paying for sex. But the working girls I’ve met have blown me away. It’s a long way from my conservative roots as a yeshiva boy and later an advocate for tougher anti-crime laws. I’d always considered the idea of paying for sex repellent. At least until my first trip to Rio de Janeiro. It turned my world upside down. Now I’d marry the right Brazilian hooker in a heartbeat. (Of course I’m so commitment-phobic, finding the “right” girl seems unlikely.)

In recent years I’ve written extensively about my experiences with sex tourism for Hustler, Maxim, and other magazines. I’ve been to Rio de Janeiro about a dozen times. I’ve also enjoyed sexcapades in the Dominican Republic and Costa Rica.

This blog exists to give you a titillating glimpse at “alternative possibilities” regarding sex and romance. I have no desire to shove my outlook on sex tourism in the face of anyone with moral objections to prostitution. There are good reasons why many people consider the world’s oldest profession immoral. Many prostitutes lead lives of inconceivable pain, trapped in a spiral of drugs, disease and abuse. But other working girls are as grounded as you and me (hopefully more than me, because I’m a fucking basket case) and they’re comfortable with their profession.

Link. He also has all of his articles online, if you want a bird’s eye of his experiences paying for sex around the world. Interesting stuff.