(that’s Todd on the right, with the kewl patch I sewed on his jacket.)

* Todd is awake and responsive mentally, aw yeah! Not so much with the physical yet. Got a great text today from Alex (from Todd’s phone, such a strange thing to see at first) saying they miss me and can’t wait to see me when they come home soon.

* When they get here, I’m going to read to Todd until he can physically make me stop. As I told Hacker Boy last night while walking through the Castro and discussing the concept of ‘deliberate family’ I said, “I made a vow to Todd — well, I made several when we got married. And that was to love him, no matter what, ’till death (and beyond, as we promised). The love has changed shape but the vow will never be broken. I’ll be here when he gets here.”

* Now here’s the hard part. Last week I talked to Todd’s stepmom while she was there (I love her very deeply). It was when they were trying to figure out why/where/what the infection was — in a panic I called and said, “You know he has amoebic dysentery, right? He got it in the tropics about ten years ago and still carries the bacteria.” (Todd often joked to me about the amoebas living in his tummy.) She didn’t know, and immediately wrote it down, answering in a raised, upset voice, “They didn’t even know he was allergic to penicillin!” I think I just repeated, oh my god. (Enterococcus, what the docs found as the source, is related to tropical dysentery. It is most commonly treated with penicillin.)

* If I had been at Robodock, the first thing I would have told the EMT’s was that he is allergic to penicillin. Of course — I knew that. When we were married, I always tried to get Todd to wear a bracelet.

* There is a benefit for Todd and Alex tonight and more in the future. Better yet, here’s the how to help page with PayPal donation info.

My crush on Margaret Cho (image via) just went ultra, with the utterly fucking fabulous article about her Sensuous Woman show in today’s SF Gate Asian Pop column by Jeff Yang — and the fact that Maragaret’s blog had become a full-on vlog of the Sensuous Woman tour and features slideshows and hilarious backstage antics. Tattoos and all, indeed. Here’s a snip from the great Asian Pop piece,

(…) As she told tattoo blog Needled, her ink symbolized that “I own myself, and I can modify and create myself better and more perfect … and being a survivor of childhood physical and sexual abuse, as well as a myriad of eating disorders, this was an entirely revolutionary concept.”

And now, she’s doing it through the rawest form of revelation of all — getting down, dirty, and disrobed. “To me, this whole thing is so far removed from sex — it’s about freedom, it’s about self-esteem, it’s about making visible what was invisible before,” she says. “In the show, I have a little person, Selene Luna, the “Pocket Venus”; I have someone who’s very voluptuous, Miss Dirty Martini. And there’s me, of course. I want to show the full range of size that women can be, and to show people who are so beautiful, but are never seen in a sexual context at all.”

But if the show sounds like nothing but a series of scantily-clad object lessons, that’s completely off the mark. Cho’s goal isn’t in delivering a party line, but in lining up a party that delivers — and “The Sensuous Woman” does, with raunchy humor from transgender standup Ian Harvie, Gay Mafia Comedy Troupe member Kurt Hall (channeling gay rapper LISP), and delirious dyke Diana Yanez, who pairs with Cho in a dozens-duet called “My Puss” — throwing down vaginal volleys like “My puss is so fantastic, your puss it smells like burnt plastic” and “My puss so fine, I flaunt it. Your puss so old, it’s haunted.” It’s catchy, it’s got a beat and you can dance to it.

But the star attraction is still Cho herself — who takes on topics ranging from Britney Spears (”Britney did not look fat at the VMAs. She looked beautiful. If that’s fat, there’s really something wrong with America. She looked high, oh yes. But not fat”) to Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, portrayed as a closet queen so desperate that he forages for penis in every nook and cranny, panhandles for leftover penis, and salvages abandoned penis so it doesn’t go to waste.

Link.

Oh — and this just melted my laptop. In my lap.

Apologies if you’ve already seen this video but it’s incredible, and didn’t get nearly enough press — we thought what Gavin Newsom did here in San Francisco was big, shocking news for gay marriage. But when San Diego mayor Jerry Sanders flipped over 30 years of conservatism and made a big, big public, party-rocking decision, I think may be a more significant event in so many ways especially now. Take 5 minutes and watch the video, and have hope for the future (for a minute, anyway). I keep making friends watch it, and referred to it as a ray of hope in my sexual privacy talk this weekend (my talk was intense, informative, passionate and well-received: Mark Dery told me I was like an anti-evangelist, evangelist!) (Thanks, Jason.)

Image: Brooke and Hilton: Deaf Bunny Girls.

It’s Deaf Bunny! Looks like they just launched and have their first title ready: Naughty Deaf Roommates (sound + autoplay warning). Yes, that’s porn by, and for, deaf people, all in American Sign Language. I really want to see it! (Thanks, SB!)

Matt Ganucheau let me post some of his Arse images — like the one above and the cool photos of his making of Moaning Lisa (below).

Click To Play

A rare glimpse of kink.com with the lights on while we were setting up for Arse Elektronika 2007, the sex and technology conference. at the end, a quick demo of Matt Ganucheau’s interactive “female orgasm simulator” called Moaning Lisa. The video ends abruptly, as my laptop is slowly dying and I’m uploading this after the conference (I was on the last panel, starting at 10 pm, prior to two previous presentations). It’s a fun video — enjoy! Image by Viviane from thesexcarnival.com.

Image of me, as I am right now, by Rose White.

…just found out that my panel has been moved to 10pm. Yes. 10pm. I did two presentations yesterday, and the media coverage is excellent to far. Wired has lots of great images by Lane Hartwell (::smooch::) here and here; Scott Beale has this fantastic post and terrific images. More media has been liveblogged in images on Flickr, especially by metaphorge. The whole conference has been *incredible* — informative, full of ideas and big brains coming together, and even some (non porn) business has been conducted. It reminds me of the creative energy at Webzine 2005 and Vloggercon 2006. Exciting and smart people doing (and talking about) exciting, scary, and even hilarious things — about sex!

I’m working on a video right now, with some incredible footage shot by me and Matt Ganucheau; Eon McKai is behind me at a table with his laptop, being snarky as I write this…

It’s all especially fitting to be at the punchy, we’re-all-tired end of the porn and tech conference on Porn Sunday: October 7, the “official” anti-porn day.

Photo by sweet and lovely Viviane.

Update: Eon just gave me incredibly valuable over-the-shoulder compression advice on my video (of course much will be solved with a new machine, urgh), and now my video will be a tour of Kink.com during Arse setup, with Matt Ganucheau testing and describing Moaning Lisa. I am happy. But tired. Home stretch. But everyone is laughing and having waaaay too much fun.

Cheers to you, Drinkhacker! Image of me as Jonno’s glam GayVN date by sweet Jonno.

Last night — and just in time for the weekend — Drinkhacker created and named a cocktail after me: The Violet Blue. Hmmm, this requires some research :) After the recipe details, they write,

The trick is not to totally overpower the blueberry with the lychee, so feel free to tone down the Soho to taste. My wife downed one of these in a minute flat, and although I’ve got less of a sweet tooth than she does, I’m really enjoying this too. Did I mention it’s got blueberry in it (however minimal)? That means it’s healthy, people! Healthy! Plus, the lightly violet, shimmering look to the cocktail (courtesy of the inimitable Parfait Amour) makes it look way more sophisticated than, say, a Cosmo. Check the picture if you don’t believe me.

Note, the Stoli people had their own little contest to come up with a good use for their vodka. Some of the submitted recipes are quite intriguing (my favorite: Put 4 cups ice in blender. Add whole bottle of Stoli Blueberi. Blend until slushy. Serves one…). Check out the winners here.

About the name: Violet Blue is a local writer and “sex educator” here in San Francisco. I stole her moniker for the drink primarily because of the applicability of the two colors to it… but as with Ms. Blue, and as with all my concoctions, this is also strictly for the over 21 set.

Link.

Earlier this year, a London cabaret created and named a delicious “Cotton Club” style martini after me, which also contained Parfait Amour. When I emailed Drinkhacker a very gracious ‘thank you!’, they added, “If you’re unfamiliar with it, for a long time, Parfait Amour was the only remote form of Creme de Violette on the market. A new brand is finally on the market though… I’m itching to try it when I track some down.”

Image by me when I went to NY with the band in 2005!

They have *no* idea… ! Congrats to my friends and family in Extra Action for this great writeup in Naughty America, snip:

“It felt like everything was coming to a climax – and all of the sudden the floor below me was completely wet,” recalled Lily Greene. “My shoes were drenched, literally, up to my ankles. Everything was soaking wet! I had no idea what was going on.”

It was, after all, 29-year-old Greene’s first time seeing Extra Action Marching Band. But stories like Greene’s are a dime a dozen whenever this particular group is involved.

The Oakland-based band’s obstreperous birth took place in the late ‘90s when group founder Simon Cheffins connected with a handful of drummers and began playing gigs around the Bay Area. In a matter of years the band had exploded in size, from five people when it started to well more than 40 members in 2002. That number has decreased only slightly since then.

The percussionists, a muscly crew of strikingly attractive and heavily tattooed guys and girls, were joined by the brass section, a riotous mixture of fedora-wearing, mutton chop laden men and seductive, 1950s pin-up-model-quality women.

Add to these a wildly salacious and scantily clad flag team, a sincere love of performance art and an overwhelming proclivity for hedonism, and the Extra Action recipe is complete.

As Extra Action percussionist Jon Schainker explains, one of the main goals in the formation of the band was to break the mold of the pedantic, straight-laced marching band stereotype held by many people.

Link.

Image via southpaw20’s bubblewrap tag.

Over at Guardian UK, there’s a nifty article about the invention of bubble wrap, on its 50th anniversary. 50 years of wrap? That’s more than I thought — but it does bring to mind the number of times I’ve heard people confessing to having a bubble wrap fetish, and for some, it’s sexual.

Image via blkstar50’s anti-mall series.

Some like to fuck it, penetrate themselves with it, crush it (video), wrap up in it, wear a bra and panty set made of it (or bikini), take soft erotic photos in it, altchick nude self-portraits, cheesy porn paysite chicks use it, and I’ve even spotted a wedding dress or two. It makes the kittehs crazy! Popping it is just ever so satisfying… Morseo than popping it online.

A sweet surprise — Adam Curry is featuring my Open Source Sex Podcast in the newest episode of his PodShow’s PodFinder, Episode 28: I Want Your Sex(casts). It’s a nice review of a handful of great, current sex podcasts — and thanks for the compliments, Adam! (There’s an excerpt of my sex-ed G-spot podcast in it; he didn’t mention that the other half of my podcast is explicit erotica from top authors, but that’s kewl…) Here’s a direct link to the MP3, here’s a link to the I Want Your Sex(casts) show archive with links to all the podcasts he reviewed. Yay!

PS: They missed my pal Nobilis’ erotica podcast — an oversight, for sure.

Image via mckibillo’s Wonderfest set.

I’m working on my talk right now, phew. But through my fever I had a lot of fun writing Arse Elektronika 2007: Porn and Tech Conference (”Violet Blue holds hope for the future of sex, despite the musical condoms”). Snip:

This weekend in San Francisco, futurists, tech experts, sexologists, and a who’s-who list of emergent sex and technology experts are lined up for talks and panels at Arse Elektronika 2007, a conference about “pr0n and innovation” — or the intersections of sex and technology. At our local Porn Palace, this first-of-its-kind international meeting of the (very geeky) minds on the subject of sex and tech looks to be both a humorous (ahem) poke at past sci-fi visions of “future sex” and some realistic explorations of technology’s undeniably constant relationship with sex.

Or maybe it’s just what happens when you combine the monkeys with the typewriters. You know, you either get Shakespeare or a monkey humping a keyboard. Likely, both — but I think many of us hope it’s a pleasant combination of the two. Most often, it’s not. For instance, there’s some yummy porn on my iPod right now, but still some scientists feel the need to invent electronic singing condoms. Deep down, I can’t help but think these powers need to be used for good, not evil.

It helps to keep a sense of humor, which is liberally laced throughout Arse Elektronika’s lineup and manifesto. We wanted Barbarella; we got Buffy the Vampire Layer. We hoped for virtual sex; yet we still find ourselves staring at a blank window that says, “buffering.” As humans, we’ve always sexualized our technologies — otherwise, why was Maria from “Metropolis” so damn sexy? — but our fantasies never match up with what we hope the tech will do for us. Meanwhile, there’s a growing debate as to whether porn leads tech innovation or vice-versa — while pundits like myself argue they’re playing in tandem.

When Slate released the first textcast last year (a podcast with scrollable, readable text for the iPod), I rushed to figure out how it was done for my sex-ed Open Source Sex podcast. When I succeeded as the second textcaster, one of Slate’s editors remarked to me in an e-mail that he thought it was funny to see “porn following tech, rather than the other way around.” For someone like myself, who has watched mainstream porn and sex un-savvy inventors fumble around, sometimes with disastrous results, to mix porn and tech to create consumer goods, his reaction was surprising. (Not to mention that I’m not podcasting “porn.”)

Of course there’s porn for your iPhone, but it’s not a chicken or egg question; the iPhone (ahem) came first. But there’s no denying that the VHS tape (remember those?) changed porn for consumers and creators alike; and there’s definitely a causal relationship between new technologies’ (VHS, DVD, Internet) inherent privacies and limited customizability influence and our cultural experience and expressions of ourselves sexually. The widespread perception that porn leads technology is pervasive, but unproven; perhaps the disappointment, hope or fear (!) that this is true is what motivates the meeting of the minds this weekend at Arse Elektronika.

Link.

Image via lyddite’s playful vintage panties bras photoset.

My friend Anna (the one I judged The Vloggies with last year) just had one of her National Geographic documentaries air last weekend — Bra Business. I missed it, but Nat Geo is so cool about sharing media they have it up now on YouTube. I found the making of bras totally engrossing. Congrats, Anna! (It’s her voice narrating, too.) Video and two more cute retro bra-tastic pics are after the jump.

(more…)

Image: winner of the Second Life “best boobs” contest 2007, Keumjoo Ahn.

Noticed in the MSM headlines this week that Newt Gingrich is parroting the current Republican party line that Hilary is the “one to beat” — and considering what happened in Gingrich’s recent Second Life appearance, the double entendres are flying around my head like human-animal hybrids in SL. To say the least, being “accosted” by nekkid girls and black cats in Obama t-shirts was probably not what the conservative politician expected in his live visit. Or maybe it was the *real* reason he visited SL (as himself, anyway). Too bad protesters were limited to *five* (according to the article). Snip:

A funny thing happened when Newt Gingrich visited Second Life. The first thing he saw was “a lovely young digital lady” - who was completely naked!

“This is the new technology of the 21st century,” Gingrich told the audience later - though he was referring to online political forums. But the truth turned out to be much more complicated…

As Gingrich spoke, he endured some “cyber-heckling,” according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. “A small group of protesters gathered in the neighboring sims,” reports the Second Life News Network, “and shouts could be heard during the press conference.” In an online video, CNN notes that Gingrich’s Second Life audience included “sundry protesters - and people generally flying around.” And in the front row of Gingrich’s audience sat a giant cat wearing a Barack Obama t-shirt.

“I had heard that it went smoothly - well, by SL standards,” said one Second Life user.

Link (thanks, El!)

Update: Now reports are saying that there was no nudity at all, as told by David Cassel in Fighting Nudity in Second Life. It’s well worth a read; the digital-organic politics and tactics around preserving the so-called dignity of conservative politicians like Gingrich is fascinating.

…or some other awful bug has me very ill; swollen throat, upper respiratory ickiness. Am flat-out sick. The setbacks with Todd don’t help. Talked to his dad last night and they’re in the air to Holland right now; hearing the VA doc say, “well know more when we get on the ground” was poignantly reassuring, somehow. So I’m going to do some blogging here and work on a column, to try and move through the fever, the anguish. Drinking carrot juice, sipping soup (can’t swallow solids), and HB is doting on this sick girl ever so sweetly.