My favorite holiday! Gosh, being spanked with a lollipop looks fun! Two sexy Halloween babe galleries — here’s the lollipop gallery (via Sex Blog Roundup @ Fleshbot); here’s a nasty messy sexy gothy pumpkin gallery (thanks, A). Here are some Halloweeny links, some with a heavy accent on the *weeny* part…

* Edward Penishands still lives — spotted in Upper Haight and shot with my Helio; still “one of the greatest adult films of all time.” Um, riiiight. That chick *so* looks like Winona.

* Here’s a nice Clockwork Orange babe gallery.

* The LA Times thinks Halloween is A Holiday For Sluttiness. Last time I checked, LA was like Halloween every day. Mojo sent me the link, saying, “It’s the classic “OMG! Halloween is teh sexy!” style column, but I feel it goes way beyond the usual asshattery and deep into mysogyny. It’s completely gross, and I’m not sure why I’m emailing it to you except to share my outrage.”

* Breaking: Halloween = sluts (via). Again. So what am I gonna do with my slutty Easter costume *now*?

* Zombie porn comics: XXXombies by Rick Remender looks fun. And there’s always the gruesome, graphic (really really gross) Porn of the Dead stills gallery.

* Unlike last weekend, Halloween in my neighborhood here in San Francisco is not very sexy right now. Some people might protest.

* In New York, Halloween must be like herding cats — like in this awesome kitty obstacle course video.

* After watching that video and then seeing Zoey Zane’s Halloween Striptease gallery with her weird cyber-KKK TinMan outfit, I might have to clear my head with the kittens a few more times. Then again, I do have Lust for a Vampire and NightWatch to sink my teeth into later, so I think I’ll be able to rinse my brain fairly well.

* Another soothing alternative: just.because’s monsters, melons, pirates and sailors, oh my! gallery @ Flickr. Sweet!

* Then, before I retire into my coffin at dawn, I’ll read from my much-loved copy of the ultra-fabulous The Deluxe Transitive Vampire: The Ultimate Handbook of Grammar for the Innocent, the Eager, and the Doomed. It was a spectacular birthday present (thank you, K!), and contains gems like:

Subjective Complement:
A subjective complement comes hot on the heels of a linking verb to explain or identify the subject. If the subjective compliment is a noun, it is called a “predicate noun.” Examples:

That mound of dirt is her bedfellow.
You will be my nemesis.
Thinking is not her forte.
Your rapture is my anguish.
This harangue is my relief.

Update: Doh! How could I leave out Cory Silverberg’s *excellent* Halloween Sex Tips!? Or — Dan Savage’s fresh, great advice for superhero sex fetish querants!

Wow — open source sex #60 — and it’s hot Halloween erotica. It’s a delicious sample chapter from my 13-chapter (14 files) Halloween erotica audiobook for $7 at digitapub.com, Creatures of the Night Audiobook (also in many multi-device ebook flavors). In the podcast: KC’s “Cops and Robbers”, a woman mistakenly dresses as a famous 70s hamburger-stealing character at a costume party, only to find herself up against a lawman who takes ’search and seizure’ quite seriously. Includes some intense cuffing and spanking — quite delicious. Better than a burger. Enjoy! I’m so proud of all the authors in the collection!

Click here for the podcast post; click here to download the MP3.

Phew — it’s 4am on October 30; I can’t believe I read and completed the audiobook. It’s a sizzling collection of nasty, sweet, hilarious, spooky and sometimes rather dark explicit erotica — 14 DRM-free MP3’s for $7. Read the sales copy after the jump — or just click here to buy it, enjoy it, share it…

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Photo by Maximum Mitch.

The day of Halloween might be best celebrated at home for us San Franciscans — especially those of us in the Castro. Most merchants I’ve been chatting with over the past week have been saying they’re all renting movies and ordering in. Typically, it’s like our version of Mardi Gras, but sadly, every year we get more violence. It’s regular drunken crowd violence, as many people are just rowdy tourists (often not in costume) to just be obnoxious in the street. Some merchants have expressed sadness; saying it used to be a community street party. But last year there were shootings, so the police are closing off my neighborhood at like 6pm — for reals.

Photo by Maximum Mitch.

But saturday night I decided last-minute to have a few friends over (for many cocktails) and we went out for some very old-school Castro Halloween festivities. Lots of costumes, smiles (plenty of polite and smiling police officers, even) and a really great crowd were all out in outrageous outfits. And just plain hot outfits.

Scott has a great photo post about it here. Great, great, great sets of “secret” Castro Halloween:

* Scott Beale
* Lane Hartwell
* Maximum Mitch

Photo “Violet and her Helio” by Maximum Mitch.

I was lucky to be with a very loving ‘brat pack‘ of photographers; we went out, split up keys to my house and met back at the Blogger Bungalow throughout the evening. It was a blast! Our out of town guest this time was my dear friend Steve Diet Goedde (omg, we go back almost ten years).

Photo by Steve Diet Goedde.

I was lucky to be with so much loving, bratty, sweet family. It’s been a rough year for everyone, and we all just had grown-up fun like a bunch of kids. It’s so extreme that it’s been such a painful year, but I’ve never been so happy.

Photo “Morticia and Gomez” by Scott Beale/Laughing Squid.

My close friend Chriso topped every costume in the Castro — his “Senator Craig” mobile toilet stall had him stopping and showing his “wide stance” every ten feet to adoring and cackling fans and queens alike, even some people wanted to “sign” his stall wall. Almost every SFPD officer we saw while walking through the gold-glitter fairy and uber-queeny throngs grinned hugely at the Senator, and laughingly complimented his costume! Even the dreaded ‘blue screen of death’ made an appearance on my doorstep. So awesome.

* An aside, I had no idea how much I look like my own painting of Leila Waddell.

A while back, Libido Films sent me a screener copy of their film Trial Run for review, and a possible DVD-cover quote. Trial Run sounds fun in theory and possible practice — in it, a woman places a personal ad, combs through to find a guy that might be fun, and then her sexy redhead pro-domme friend takes the guy on a “trial run” while our heroine watches; then a final scene where it looks like he’s no longer “in beta”. Sadly I wasn’t in a workspace where I had time to meet their deadline, so the film went on my “must watch” shelf. That’s right next to the “sweet chocolaty jeezuz please never make me watch” shelf. Tonight I cruised over to their site to check out what their sample trailers look like, intending to gather my review post materials, and noticed a number of fun freebies. They have neat little (okay the screens are *too* little, but still) page of trailers for all of their porn films — and I must add that all of their films are non-mainstream, with eager amateurs and quite atmospheric. There’s a little too much time for credits, but hey — they’re indy, so I applaud nonetheless. And I see they recently got their blog on, with original articles, cool.

But I also discovered that you can watch shorts of the hotter scenes from each of their films (or buy/download the individual scenes cheap) — and I especially enjoyed their vintage porn video page, with very sexy samplers from 1915 like A Free Ride.

I’ll let you know how Trial Run is in a day or two; then I’ll see what kind of tests I can perform at home. *Such* a good idea…

Image source: unknown.

* Yay, it’s up! With much help from my friends, here’s my handpicked Halloween erotic ebook, in one multi-format .zip. (If you purchased my non-fiction “how to kiss” and want another text format please email me with your purchase # and I’ll send you all formats in a .zip — duh, why didn’t I think of that?) This 13-chapter collection is one of my very favorites; see what happens when I pick erotica freely for its punk-sexy/fun-gothiness! I’m going to try and have the audiobook up ASAP… There’s lots of couples getting quite kinky with costumes and role-play, at least one girl jacking off with Tim Curry, a haunting BDSM promise (or dare) between a couple, girl-girl visitations from beyond and… at least 13 encounters I think are hot and inspiring. (Apols to my gay boyfriends; no boy-on-boy in this one.) There are many stories from Thomas Roche: he’s the king of the goth erotica genre, that’s why… Here’s the “sales” text:

Creatures of the Night, edited by best-selling editor Violet Blue (from the award-winning Best Women’s Erotica series) brings to light 13 DRM-free stories of Halloween adventures with couples who make the most of the season’s offerings. Graveyard trysts, encounters with lesbian ghosts, couples who meet in San Francisco’s Castro district, torn Bauhaus t-shirts, intense explicit sex of many flavors, soundtracks from Rocky Horror, and much more make this collection the most exciting goth-noir-playful-dark inspiration yet. Authors include Alison Tyler, Thomas Roche, Xavier Acton, Elizabeth Colvin and other exciting writers. Creatures of the Night is $7 worth of modern erotica in a multi-format .zip, freely shareable and made especially for Palm, iPhone, iPod Touch, Blackberry, your computer, or any text reading device you prefer.

(The .pdf is especially for the iPhone/Touch, with some easter egg fun.)

Availability: Instant Download
DRM-Free File Format: .zip (includes .pdf, .pdb. .txt)
File Size: 1 MB
ISBN: 978-0-9799019-3-5
Price: $7.00 (USD)

Contents

1 Zombie Love :: by Elizabeth Colvin
2 Bad Kitty :: by Thomas S. Roche
3 Insomniac :: by Serina Jurgens
4 Sweet Transvestite by Michelle Cooper
5 Cops and Robbers by KC
6 A Girl in Coveralls by Thomas S. Roche
7 Spider Bites by Thomas S. Roche
8 Triple X Requiem by Thomas S. Roche
9 Playing for Keeps by Alison Tyler
10 The Lizard Queen by Julia Richards
11 Masquerade Ball by Xavier Acton
12 Five Senses by Oscar Shemoth
13 Creatures of the Night by Thomas S. Roche

Buy “creatures of the night” .zip (all files) now, $7, via Pay Pal.

It came up in discussion at SFSI training last weekend. For separate talks to students, people with different sexual orientations come and talk and answer questions about their orientation. There was a scheduling kerfluff: the straight guy flaked, the gay guy didn’t show (it was a mixup), but the bisexual man swooped in, gave a fantastic talk and was great. I was like, OMG: in a city full of gay men, you have no gay rep, I could almost literally pull a card-carrying straight boy out of my back pocket for you — but the most mystical, mysterious and invisible creature of all, the bisexual male, showed up and spoke for you. I said, “That’s like having a fucking unicorn appear.”

To which Thomas replied, “You’re seen Planet Unicorn, right?”

With a little sexy Morticia eye candy from Isabel Samaras. Also: kitties!

… one of the classics in vlogging has reached its 200th episode! Watch Lo-Fi Saint Louis: Episode #200 The Alley Cat Revue, and look for Irina at Kink.com about a minute in (the jail! where she belongs!) and then just enjoy all the extremely fleshy jiggly goodness of the St. Louis burlesque scene — my pal Bill Streeter’s clearly been working on this scene profile for a long time, it’s well done, and it’s way more explicit than I imagined. Meaning = yummy, natural, happy dancing girls! Happy 200, and hooray for burlesque babes!

I *heart* Lo-Fi!

Image of Lina Romay from Female Vampire (1973).

No — please. It’s my favorite kind of film (even though I watched Fido tonight and *loved* it). My neighborhood is going to be a mess this year, and no one is having a party, so my column this week is my top ten (okay, very offbeat retro and uber-campy barely softcore) lesbian vampire films. Here’s a snip, to hopefully add to your Halloween viewing list:

(…) “The Hunger” was great, though “Vampyros Lesbos” is overrated. Terrified women running from serial killers and monsters are as over as that “sexy schoolgirl” in a bag outfit. In essence, our hunger is only appeased by movies which contain a mixture of lip-licking sexual perversities, delightfully taboo desires, warm and familiar occult influences, a dose of ritualistic sadomasochism whenever possible, powerful and wicked naked girls, campiness fit for any queen, and the satisfaction of knowing that being evil is way more fun than being good any day of the week. Feel free to peruse my list of favorite, unapologetically obscure and ultra-campy softcore vampire flicks from the last century. Join the forces of darkness (and don’t forget the cocktails) for the comforts that an evening of pure feminine evil can provide.

10. “Vampyres” (1974). Directed by the Spanish Jose Larraz and starring Marianne Morris and Anulka, this enjoyable film is hailed as one of the rare treatments of vampirism as an explicitly male fantasy in which women are simultaneously objects of terror and desire. Two malevolently sexy female vampires live in a lovely, decaying old mansion and casually lure passers by into their lair for lunch. Their lunch, that is. One of the victims sports a woody for one of the vampires, and decides to stay, aware of the fact that he’s just her favorite snack, all the while becoming weaker and weaker … Chock full of that good old amour fou, this film lives up to being labeled with “hallucinatory eroticism” and delivers an artfully claustrophobic, sexually explicit tale difficult to forget.

9. “Countess Dracula” (1970). Starring stacked British siren Ingrid Pitt, this movie is enticingly hailed as “the most erotic Hammer film,” presumably because it has more states of undress than any other made at that time. In it, Pitt plays the role of Countess Elizabeth Bathory, the “Blood Countess” to the delicious and oversexed hilt. It seems that our poor little rich countess needs to bathe in the blood of unsuspecting virgins in order to retain her supple, uh, youth. Set in the colorful Middle Ages in perfectly gloomy castles and with those easy-to-remove period costumes a la Hammer Horror, it’ll make you want to say “clean the tub tonight, dear, we’re having guests …”

8. “The Bare Breasted Countess,” a.k.a. “Female Vampire” (1973). Jess Franco, a man with a reputation for many excesses himself, came from Spain to direct nearly 200 films. His style branded him as Europe’s Ed Wood, with campy hit-and-miss, violent-erotic movies that are mostly miss and whose weaknesses lie sadly in production values. But when Franco is “on,” you are captive to nothing short of offbeat, brilliant filmmaking. Such is the case with “The Bare Breasted Countess,” starring Franco’s fetish-actress Lina Romay. This nearly X-rated confection centers on the delectable Romay as the mute and mysterious Countess Irena Karnstein, taking a bloody little (then modern) holiday in Portugal. Apparently for our vamp, her sustenance is only satisfying when orally extracted from trouser snakes and sweaty little crevasses — arguably a display of nature at its best. Romay’s portrayal of unconscious animal eroticism is pretty flawless, the story ends rather nicely, and the entire film is a pleasure to consume. Urp! (…)

Link.

Image via ario.

The video went up today; it was so exciting to give this talk to Google people, and the audience was passionate, engaged and the room was packed. I got a lot of really nice emails from viewers/participants afterward. YAY! Such a great experience all around. Do watch my talk if you get a chance.

Watch: Google TechTalks: Violet Blue — sex on the internet, the realities of porn, sexual privacy (on YouTube, not embeddable).

Image by aeric meredith-goujon, also seen here.

I’ve just sent my Canon PowerShot TX1 off to the service center in some square state, wah! See you in (probably) December, my much-loved, much-used, very needed little video friend. The display suddenly decided the world was upside-down, obviously channeling my internal world these days. At least I can still photo moblog with my Ocean until I borrow another camera (I just gave the Xacti back to Irinaski). So, here’s a little link obsession while I flop about madly without a visual recording device:

* Thomas Roche, otaku and the six-foot pussy — it’s not what it sounds like. Or maybe it is. Over at the Blowfish blog, Thomas reflects on the seriousness and the silliness of what we do teaching front-line sex ed at SFSI. It’s a great read.

* A flickr friend has images on a new site that’s all fetishy and sexy; nothing explicit but now I think I have my next two ex-girlfriends all picked out.

* Finally, something to help with my RSI! Super kewt Japanese squishy boobs!

* Be worried about the definition of obscenity, very worried. “Obscenity” has been the government’s definition of “bad porn”, supposedly for extreme or illegal acts according to “community standards” on a case-by-case basis depending on the community. Over on Salon, Greenwald blogs about Sen. Orrin Hatch’s questioning of the new DoJ nominee Mukasey, writing,

As he always does, Sen. Hatch makes clear that — even as we battle the Global Epic War of Civilizations against Islamo-fascism — his primary concern is that the Department of Justice is not doing enough to battle the evils of what even he calls “mainstream, adult pornography.”

Hatch explains that “pornography and obscenity consumption harms individuals, families, communities.” Unfortunately, Hatch said, the DOJ has a “terrible record enforcing adult obscenity law” — such enforcement stopped during the Clinton administration and there is not much more to show for it during the Bush administration.

The problem, Hatch explained, is that the DOJ is only prosecuting “extreme” obscenity — not what he calls “mainstream obscenity.” Since most consumers only access “mainstream obscenity,” not “extreme obscenity,” this strategy is misguided — it prosecutes “too narrow a range of obscenity.” Also, warned Hatch, there are far too few FBI resources being devoted to “mainstream obscenity prosecutions.”

Mukasey promised to review the policy of only prosecuting “extreme” rather than “mainstream” pornography, and vowed: “I recognize that mainstream materials can have an effect of cheapening a society, objectifying women, and endangering children in a way that we can’t tolerate.”

(thanks, Julie!)

* Scarily, I’m following this up with today’s news item, where an anti-porn crusader wants Kansas City juries to redefine what’s obscene, snip:

On September 25, a Johnson County grand jury indicted the video store on misdemeanor criminal charges of promoting obscenity. The store’s alleged crime was renting out four allegedly obscene movies - Don’t Kiss Me I’m Straight, Hellcats 12, Anal Machines and Real Female Masturbation. A man who gave his name as Sean O’Cleary rented the videos in late August and never returned them. He had paid a $100 deposit and, later, called to tell the store that he’d turned the films over to the grand jury.

The grand jury handed down 15 obscenity charges against the store and three other Johnson County businesses. They’re accused of renting out racy videos, selling sex toys and displaying obnoxious Halloween costumes.

* See what kind of person doesn’t return videos!? IMHO, Real Female Masturbation is a pretty tasty amateur series (tho Screaming Orgasms will always be my favorite for seeing cute girls get themselves off).

* Mistaken Identities (fleshbot.com)
* Sex Journo Violet Blue Sues Porn Star Violet Blue Over Name (blog.wired.com)
* Writer Violet Blue Sues Performer Violet Blue (xbiz.com)

I’ll add that if you saw my name listed for a “guest appearance” at the Exotic Erotic Ball this weekend, it’s not me.

My breaking post 6th Circuit 2257 Ruling: 2257 Unconstitutional just went live at Fleshbot! It’s important to read the full article for the details (and they have a copy of the .pdf ruling for download if you want to check it out). But as we all suspected — and now we know we’re not alone in believing — all that “sexually explicit conduct” verbiage was indeed as vague as Tony Soprano saying you could have a “bad accident”. Which I’d rather hear than sit by and watch adult websites trying to tell the difference between a spanking and sunburn in a photo so they stay within the record-keeping laws, or the other serious consequence of the law, putting porn performers at serious privacy and safety risk by making all their private information freely available (and in most cases, for sale) to anyone who asks. Not to mention the recently proposed impact on social networking sites. And this was supposed to be “for the children”.

These unfortunate, sad and ignorant groupings under the law show what certain lawmakers think of different types of sexual expression, excerpt:

Image producers are only regulated if the images are of “actual sexually explicit conduct.” 18 U.S.C. § 2257(a)(1) (2006). “Actual sexually explicit conduct” is defined to include images of “sexual intercourse, including genital-genital, oral-genital, anal-genital, or oral-anal, whether between persons of the same or opposite sex.” 18 U.S.C. § 2257(h)(1) (2006); see 18 U.S.C. § 2256(2)(A)(i) (2006). It also includes images of bestiality, masturbation, sadistic or masochistic abuse, and “lascivious exhibition of the genitals or pubic area of any person.” 18 U.S.C. § 2257(h)(1) (2006); see 18 U.S.C. § 2256(2)(A)(ii)-(v) (2006).

It’s a relief to see the ruling state this, snip:

While the government is indeed aiming at conduct, child abuse, it is regulating protected speech, sexually explicit images of adults, to get at that conduct. To the extent the government is claiming that a law is considered a conduct regulation as long as the government claims an interest in conduct and not speech, the Supreme Court has rejected that argument. See, e.g., Schneider v. State, 308 U.S. 147, 150 (1939) (holding that the government cannot ban handbills, speech, to vindicate its interest in preventing littering, conduct). The expression at issue here is not conduct, it is speech. Images, including photographs, are protected by the First Amendment as speech as much as “words in books” and “oral utterance[s].” Kaplan v. California, 413 U.S. 147, 119-20 (1973). Indeed, visual images are “a primitive but effective way of communicating ideas . . . a short cut from mind to mind.” W. Va. State Bd. of Ed. v. Barnette, 319 U.S. 624, 632 (1943). Even if the government tried to characterize the regulation as aimed at the conduct of pressing the button on a camera or other recording device to create images, that conduct would be so closely tied to the speech produced, and the government’s interest here is in the speech produced, that it would be better considered to be a speech regulation.

Child abuse, the actual conduct in which the government is interested, is already illegal. Child pornography, while speech, can be considered more like conduct because the conduct depicted is illegal, and if that illegality did not occur, no images of child pornography would be created.

(…) Adult sexual conduct is not illegal and it is in fact constitutionally protected. See, e.g., Lawrence v. Texas, 539 U.S. 558 (2003). The regulation of visual depictions of adult sexual activity is not based on its intrinsic relation to illegal conduct.

I’m still looking over the .pdf right now. We’ll see what happens next. It’s exciting to see one of the new owners of Good Vibes, Rondee Kamins (she is the CEO of GVA), named as a fighter in this ruling. (Thanks, Julie!)

(photo shot + uploaded to flickr on-site with my Helio Ocean, yay!)

Grrrr! Argh! I am quite ill today and just checked in with the She’s Geeky organizers; I’m going to try and give my talk tomorrow instead of today. I was scheduled for a 3:30 presentation on sexual privacy (and anonymity) but am too sick to do it. Perhaps exhaustion combined with something I ate? At any rate, I’m going to check back in with them tonight and see if I feel up to giving the talk tomorrow, during the open “unconference” — there are many readers I was hoping to meet in person and connect with at the She’s Geeky conference — and it’s at the historic Computer History Museum, so I’m going to be really upset if I miss it :(

On a lighter note, lecturing this weekend to SFSI students at the UCSF annex went great; above is an image of my oral sex talk notes from yesterday afternoon/evening, in LOL courtesy of my co-presenter, Thomas (a few more here)… !

And, don’t miss this incredible, in-depth review of my book The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Strap-On Sex (thanks for the link, Alison Tyler!) I feel like the reviewer really took her time to understand the topic and the potential readership — and she took quite a bit of time to learn about me as well. So amazing! Here’s an excerpt:

The author herself says of the subject:

“Everything I’ve come across so far seems to be playing into the stereotypes that plague male- on-female anal sex. (”You’re going to take my cock up that little ass,” etc.) I don’t peg my man to work out my aggression, I peg him because the prostate is a wondrous thing…

“Pegging in most porn is festooned with stereotypes of shame and pain, like most sex in mainstream porn. And, unfortunately, these stereotypes have seeped into online sex culture. But you don’t have to be Mistress Asscrusher, and he doesn’t have to answer to Worthless Buttslut, in order to enjoy strap-on sex. Like I explain in my book, most couples who peg do it because it’s fun, intimate, new, exciting, and quite loving.”

So, let’s look at The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Strap-On Sex. The book is set out in twelve chapters, which cover every aspect of introductory strap on sex that you can think of, and quite a few you probably haven’t thought of, lol.

The contents page not only provides chapter titles but sub headings, which means its easy to track down a specific topic. Chapter 1 (”The Forbidden Zone”), for example, provides background, talks about the “Bend over Boyfriend” phenomena and gives the recent history of the term “pegging”, now used to describe male penetrative sex for straight couples. Chapter 2 (”What It Isn’t”) discusses myths about pegging. Chapter 3 and 4 explore male anatomy. Chapter 5 (”How pegging Works (Oh So Well)”) looks at the mechanics of male orgasm and fantasies and realities of pegging.

We then move on to several chapters covering communication (”How to Ask for It” … ) before moving on to the practicalities of anal foreplay and penetration (”Anal Penetration Rules! I Mean, Rules”) with both viewpoints being covered (”His Concerns: Staying Hard and Keeping Clean”). Chapter 10 explores harnesses and dildos. Chapter 11 (”The Art of Pegging”) provides a terrific list of “how to” options (”How to come in a Harness” … “Fun Things to do When You’re Fucking him”). The final chapter provides resources for further reading, shopping links and safe sex info. Several chapters conclude with erotic pegging stories by Alison Tyler.

Violet Blue writes in an informal style that instantly engages the reader (”give a man the anal attention he craves, and you might as well have tossed a pat of butter into a hot pan”). Or both readers, actually - as the author constantly seeks to engage and reassure both parties:

“To me, the discovery that a male lover enjoys receiving anal penetration opens up a whole new world of sexual adventure between the two of us. It means he wants to share something really intimate - and something he finds powerfully pleasurable - with me.

“I know that he probably hasn’t been able to play like this with most of his other lovers … but he feels confident that we can do it… when a man tells me he wants me to strap it on and give it to him - I know I’ve found a lover who is playful, trusting, interested in having excellent sexual communication and who thinks I’m the hottest girl for the job”

The text is full of useful practicalities. A few examples … such as “How To Find the Prostate with Your Eyes Closed” (…)

Link.

After much hard work — writing and editing the book, mucking around with files and tech, and testing files on a few eager, and very patient friends — it’s here! My first self-published, multi-format ebook! “how to kiss” is all about kissing: nine fat chapters of how-to’s and hot erotica (two boy-girl stories with lots of explicit oral contact, yum). First kisses — how to give and get ‘em — hot spots and erogenous zones, making your mouth sexy, advanced kissing techniques and oral seductions, kissing bugs (how to avoid the bad kinds), hickies, what to do when a kiss goes bad (or you wind up with a bad kisser), countless kissing techniques and styles… Oh, and it’s silly and fun, and for all genders and orientations.

There are three juicy DRM-free versions, all for $10. The iPhone/iPod Touch/most formats version is a .pdf that looks great on the iPhone and superb on any computer desktop. The Palm/Treo version is a .pdb that comes through in color (!) in WordSmith and looks fab in the free eReader. I’ve also created a clean and simple .txt version for people who like to convert books with things like Plucker.

All versions have purchasing links in this Digita Publications how to kiss :: ebook post.

I’d especially like to smooch my test bunnies: Ryan, Hacker Boy, Thomas and Viviane. (Your purchase helps me pay Thomas for his story!) I really want to thank the people across the internets and blogosphere I privately surveyed a while back — all who confirmed my intuition about file formats and DRM alike (I really understand now how it’s coming to an end, and how angry users are about it). And I’m glad this book, which I originally wrote for a paper publisher and then withdrew because I wanted it in digital form first, has turned into something really fucking cool.

The book’s details and complete description are here and after the jump. And again — no DRM, because I believe that when you buy a book, you own it — you should be able to read it anywhere and on anything you want, and books are for sharing. Especially with a lover.

(more…)

Censorin’ UR n00dz. Check out this Google AP (!) item — my 2.0 Porn or Not? talk was the same day, sigh:

New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo on Tuesday announced an agreement with social networking Web site Facebook to enforce safeguards against obscene content and sexual predators using the site.

The agreement calls for Facebook to respond and begin addressing complaints of nudity or pornography or unwelcome contact within 24 hours of receiving them, and to report to the complainant within 72 hours on how it will respond.

It also calls for Facebook, which has about 47 million users, to allow someone independent - and approved by Cuomo’s office - to report for two years on its compliance with the new safeguards.

“These social networking sites are attractive. We want to make sure they’re safe,” Cuomo said at a news conference. “Facebook will have the safest interactions of its kind on the Internet.”

Link.

Seeing images of clothes-on, clothes off in identical poses is one of my fascinations; I think it’s relatively easy (okay, easier) to do with today’s tech. I’ve previously blogged a retro version here and a modern version in full here. But imagine my surprise when I got (1920s, San Francisco based) photographer Albert Arthur Allen’s book Premiere Nudes for my birthday, and saw image after image of exactly this — from the 1930s. The book is gorgeous glorious and unerringly sexy — I love it. (Another sexy snap is here.) And they’re San Francisco girls! I’ve been keeping it in my bedroom on a table next to my closet doors for inspiration when I get (un)dressed.

Not sex-related (by strict definition, anyway), but… if you haven’t seen it yet, Galacticast’s “Starfleet Academy” is one of my favorite episodes to date. Okay, maybe I’m biased — especially to see one of my closest friends, Sean Bonner make a cameo as Wil Wheaton! It’s really kind of dirty just how young Sean looks without his usual sexxxay facial scruff… It took Alex a minute to recognize him.

It’s been a long time since I’ve full-on reviewed a porn film, but I’ve watched Eon McKai’s Debbie Loves Dallas more than once now — alone, and with Hacker Boy — and I’m still thinking about the snark, laughing about the fucking relevant and hilarious jokes, and kinda way too turned on by Dana DeArmond. For her brains. She’s a star to reckon with. And the guys are hot. OMG — they’re not hot hacker boys (my flava), but *damn*…

First off, I was so excited when I heard that Debbie Loves Dallas (Vivid link + trailer; HD, all region codes) wasn’t going to be yet another porn remake of the same old theme (I was worried because it’s from mainstream Vivid, and my friend Eon directed it but I still wasn’t sure it would be for *me* and mine, if you know what I mean. But — in the trailer, “We’ve kind of fallen off that path. Okay?”) It turned out to be a funny, hot, and carefully layered porn film. And now, any chance I can get to watch uber-hot Dana DeArmond licking the nearest available object while she’s being fucked deliciously hard, is just a chance I must take. I do it for you. Below is a full review.

Debbie Loves Dallas is all about porn starlet Debbie and her sexy porn girlfriends having a race to see who can “get to” and fuck MC frontman “Punky” (of the band Dallas), a dorky (though big-dicked) Napoleon Dynamite of a dude. But while the story takes place in “Porn Valley”, the film itself — and the chemistry-laden sex, snarkily-subtle acting, and hot natural bodies of the girls *and guys* is far, far and away from typical Porn Valley offerings.

The film continually mocks itself, porn, and celebrity, and manages to be laugh-out-loud-funny and a hyooge turn-on all at once. The first sex scene sets the tone for the intensity of the fucking for the rest of the film — which is intense — and cracks us up at the same time. The girls have gone from yawning their way through a porn shoot for “Smells Like Teen Pussy” to hitting up the local “mr.hookup” (”The Deez”, played perfectly by Tommy Pistol) for access to Dallas. (Incidentally, “The Deez” is a term used by a number of rappers referring to police, feds, dea, and other law enforcement agencies. “Yo, toss the joint the deez is coming!”) The Deez sells everything, and subtle commentary about even our current attitudes about file sharing seeps throughout the film as evidenced in one of Deez’s lesser lines where he brags about all the stuff and drugs he can get and sell, but “music — I give music for free.”

The scene holds no pretense when DeArmond stays behind for a screw with The Deez. But like all the other sex scens in DLD, we’re fully engaged; between their insanely hot fuck and moments where The Deez smacks Dana’s gorgeous little tits with his fat cock saying, “The Deez is very angry with your titties” — and DeArmond replies, somehow sweet and nasty all at once with a giggle, “The Deez is *so* not angry at my titties right now…” It made me laugh and want mimic the hot onscreen action.

The edits are clever and narrate the internal and external worlds of the characters, even when they’re playing sport fucking games — whether the sweaty and delicious two girls on three guys at the recording studio, the two-girl blowjob competition to get past a security guard or the cute and slippery three-girl scene that nearly ends when one girl tries to playfully flee and turns into a laughing, tit-slapping game of “make her come”.

The viewer is never bored, or disappointed with what’s onscreen, and the performers are — for once — almost all totally fuckable. It’s not altporn, and it’s not going to fit in any category, porn or otherwise. It’s *awesome*, fun, brilliantly ironic, original, nasty-hot sex, Dana is unbelievably amazing with fucking and irreverent line delivery, one of the (hot) male porn stars (and for once, again this film has hothothot guys) has an Aqua Teen Hunger Force tattoo on his *hip*. That kind of says it all… It’s formula without the formula, and goddamn the girls are *getting off*. I haven’t been this excited by a porn film in a long time. It’s porn as porn, no bullshit about “now we have sex” yet funny when it happens, and makes fun of porn without being stupid; it’s crazy-smart. the editing is tight and really interesting. (Compelling, actually; the editing is fantastic narrative for the sex, which is off the charts hot. Thigh-clenching, for this reviewer). And what’s great is that it’s beyond alt; the performers look like that hot guy or girl at the free wifi cafe but sans the current sellout version of “altporn” current tropes, if you know what I mean.

Wow. It’s just been a long time since I’ve been excited about (non-online) porn again. I don’t know where to send you to buy or rent it yet because it just came out, but look for it. I’ll post if any reliable carriers I know pick it up.

Blame the rant/review/self-disclosure on the fact that yes, DLD led to hot sex at least once, and it’s been a late night with Campari and a good friend on the phone for a few hours, one who lives way too far from me. I’m so glad Eon slipped me a copy of his new film. It feels like we’re all doing good work we believe in, and it shows.

As I mentioned a post back, last night at the DNA Lounge in San Francisco, I gave a five-minute talk for the nationwide O’Reilly Radar Ignite series — my talk was called “Porn or Not?” and discussed how online 2.0 social networking communities (like Flickr) are trying to police their users for adult (or “offensive” sexual) content, and how that’s working out for them. Or not. Mostly not. I had 20 slides that were automatically advanced every 15 seconds, and by the end of the talk I had veered so hysterically (and hilariously) just to the right of my script (but not all the way off), that I ended up on the stage floor on my (stripey-socked) knees… Oh, just listen and enjoy! The place was packed and the audience really loved it. Yay!

In my new podcast, I have the live audio of my talk as it was recorded from the DNA’s stream of last night’s SF Ignite talks.

Here’s the direct MP3; or here’s a link to the podcast post.

Image: porn or not? From my talk.

Sexy Shirley Eaton image via peter-noster.

That’s the topic of this week’s Chronicle/SF Gate column, My erotica is not your child porn: When a sex blogger’s content is used for spam evil, Violet Blue has advice. It’s about pay-per-post, geek erotica, and child porn splogs — a true story I found myself helping someone navigate last week. In it we get great advice about dealing with RSS content theft from Metblogs, and I tell exactly what to do when you come across illegal (and horrifying) porn. I researched the topic earlier this year when a reader emailed me in disgust, shock and panicked trauma when she (a porn-lovin’ gal) had accidentally found something awful. I don’t know what she found, and I couldn’t help with her certain PTSD, but I could tell her who to report to. (Right now over half the links in my column are missing; hopefully they’ll be fixed when you wake up and read this in the morning — seems like a glitch, as they’re *not* links to sex sites.) Here’s a snip from the piece:

When sex-positive feminist blogger Adorkable Grrl wrote an explicit erotic piece about geek girls needing love too, she chose to publish it under a pseudonym and try out a different blogging platform, just for kicks. She signed up to be paid $2 by the pay-per-post service Thisisby.us, and off went her sweet story of nerdy Eros into the world for others to enjoy.

Or so she hoped.

But the last place she thought it would end up was as child porn search engine linkbait on a splog (spam blog). A few days after her piece went live, she discovered, to her utter horror, via a friend’s Google search of her pseudonym, that her content had been republished in full on a splog under the vile post title, “12 year old girls get f-d: LemmeFind.us US Meta Search Engine.”

Adorkable immediately issued a blog post statement saying, “I am horrified. Just horrified. I am literally shaking and about to throw-up. I feel HORRIBLY violated. Like I’ve been raped, even.” Adorkable e-mailed me, saying she felt violated one step further, as her sexual expression through writing gives her feminine empowerment, telling me:

“Reading you and Audacia Ray (wakingvixen.com) and Amber Rhea has really made me more confident in feeling like … there is a time and place for most things — and the erotica I’ve been attracted to since I was a young woman (reading Anais Nin and Diane di Prima) wasn’t wrong or bad … and, that wanting to WRITE in that manner was artful. The thing that hurt me the most about the whole situation was the idea of having something I considered to be coy, sexy and artful associated with something clearly delineated in my head as actually being wrong and potentially harmful … both to me and to any child … by proxy of that site even existing and allowing child pornography to be posted.”

Adorkable Grrl didn’t just write a blog post and send e-mails; she also sent a cease and desist to the offending Web site, and asked for my advice. Being no stranger to having my content reposted without permission, or having my RSS feeds pilfered, I did a quick public records (whois) lookup for the URL offering her content as child porn bait, and discovered that the site was registered in India, but hosted by American company GoDaddy. I sent Adorkable Grrl the information, telling her to take extreme measures (…)

Link.

Update: SF Gate fixed my links, phew. It just sux that’s the version that went out in the RSS. And, GoDaddy sent me a *great* panicked email in the afternoon, saying they were just the registrar, not the host (which was amended)… They were polite but also not; their rep told me they *never* heard from Adorkable Grrl. (”In keeping with our interest in self-policing, we asked our 24/7 Abuse Department to review this thoroughly. We found no complaints tied to LemmeFInd.us, adorkable grrl or [redacted] (the blogger).”) I politely pointed them to her October 12 post about contacting GoDaddy and not getting a response.

…That’s how I feel, anyway. Above image is my delightful discovery that my article about “Lars and the Real Girl” was not only in the sunday San Francisco Chronicle — but it made the pink section in a two-page spread! I bought it monday night, that’s how it’s going these days.

In my last post I mentioned that I’d done two Fleshbot posts, but didn’t tell you about the second one, about Juicy Little Fat Grl. Well, it’s a fun review — but now it’s even more interesting by the action in the comments. Of course, someone said lame things about fat girls. But when you read Juicy’s response… it makes the world feel like a really nice place to be in these days.

Which, it’s starting to be for me. My finances are still a disaster — I’m not alone, as the book distributor bankruptcy still has so many of us indie writers and our publishers gasping for breath, even ten months later. I got an email last week from a friend who publishes (non-sex books), saying, “We are coming up for air, finally. This year, we lost about 90% of our other publishing company’s revenue. Our book club folded. So things have been a bit unsteady. But looking brighter now.” Brighter, indeed — Todd is starting to move and be more cognitive; there isn’t a morning, afternoon or night I fall asleep without thinking about him. I’m researching alt ways he can control a computer and cool podcasts to listen to when he gets back (and might be in a care facility for a while). So I’m feeling upbeat about it, and the nightmares are fewer — though I texted them over in Amsterdam today that it’ll be ironic if Todd has to learn to write with his right hand… And I’m truly, deeply blown away by gifts readers sent me for my birthday, making me feel a lot less alone in all of this and giving me some really amazing resources, tools and toys in the process. Quite a few items shipped without sender info; thank you, whoever you are. I hope I’ve given you something delicious and inspiring somewhere in all this bandwidth in return.

And if you missed my “Porn or Not?” presentation for SF Ignite last night — you really missed it. I’m going to try and at least hijack the audio for a podcast, so you can hear me go off the deep end talking (with 20 15-second sides about) porn, community standards, “I know it when I see it”, Fleshbot and Coeds with Colds — finishing with me going totally crazy out of my mind in a breathless rant about how I can’t find good porn on flickr anymore and people are taking to the streets to stop tentacle porn and falling on my (stripey-socked) knees crawling across the stage at the DNA Lounge screaming, “Oh dear gawd please Creative Commons save me!!!!!!!”

* I’m presenting a five-minute piece called “Porn or Not?” at SF Ignite at the DNA Lounge tomorrow night: that’s part of my current insanity (plus my column deadline, this week’s is a doozy).

* All I want to do is drink a cocktail and make a robot. And then drink another cocktail and make something go ‘boom!’ And then have sex like a lot, then repeat. Argh.

* I have two great posts at Fleshbot today that I slaved over all day yesterday: featured is the big Good Vibes Amateur Erotic Film Fest: It’s A Wrap, with three live, close-up burlesque videos and an image gallery, all shot by me.

* I wish I was in London.

* Or in space with a whip.

* Meanwhile, check out Erika Lust’s new “Five Sensual Stories” trailer, before they yank it.

Ooops, I almost forgot — I have to go out and buy one of those paper thingies; I’ve got a short article about the Hollywood film, “Lars and the Real Girl” in the Sunday San Francisco Chronicle. It’s my full-on paper debut, yay! Glad I remembered…

I uploaded a new podcast, open source sex #58 (MP3 link; podcast post link) last week — quietly launching my first audiobook and the start of my own new, indy digital media publishing venture, Digita Publications. The podcast is the book’s introduction, and also comes in the $5, nine-chapter .zip file. I’ve been working on this project for months; researching formats for audiobooks and ebooks, setting up the blog and payment system. And as you all know, I have no problem with creating (and editing) audio and text about sex that people really seem to like. Open the champagne! Inexpensive, high-quality sex ed by me, and erotica by other authors is here — DRM-free, and the good feeling that comes with giving direct payment to the artist(s). It’s all original, unpublished content (unless indicated; ebooks will link to relevant podcasts, etc.) And my ongoing podcast, as erratic as it is, will still always be free and available to anyone.

For my first Digita Pubs product, it’s open source sex ed audio :: pleasure zone basics (and so far the feedback has me giddy: my first customer was Gala Darling, swoon…). The full description is on the product page (and after the jump) — next week I’ll be releasing my first ebook in three DRM-free formats, and as of this writing I have two completed sex ed audiobooks (pleasure basics, next up is how-to’s for couples), and five nearly-finished ebooks: three are sex ed, and two are erotica collections I’ve curated from a variety of authors. I’m planning audio versions of all the ebooks. I’m quite serious about this — I’m sick and tired of the conservative distribution lockdown on ebooks and audiobooks. I think DRM should stand for “Doomed Rights Management”. That’s right — my $5 and $10 audio and ebooks will be totally shareable.

It’s especially fitting that I’m announcing it today, after receiving a standard rejection email from iTunes, where I applied to be an indy artist/publisher — as revealed in the email, iTunes only deals exclusively with Audible.com for audiobooks. How’s that for exclusive distribution channels? Pretty hypocritical of a company that’s been trying to make some “DRM-free” noise, if you ask me. You see, Audible is a subscription-only service for customers, and as a content creator you can either apply with *at least* five items you’re willing to hand the rights over to Audible (and let them lock up with their proprietary DRM) — or, get your book accepted then printed first with a publisher they work with and *then* comes the DRM. Audible is simply “printing” books on a different kind of paper, and screwing dimes out of everyone who comes into contact with the entire process.

To me, this is the truest form of strangling a distribution channel and forcing fresh, creative and new voices to go elsewhere. And Audible — subscriptions, DRM, exclusivity agreements… it’s such a doomed business model. Dinosaurs. I’d never give content I cared about to a system like this because it’s not built to last, and I’d never make anyone looking for my work (especially the nonbiased, all-inclusive, accurate sex information) have to pay to subscribe to an antiquated service. This whole thing shows me that a big shift in e-media is about to happen, and someone is going to make *bank* off competing with iTunes and Audible. Fifty bucks for Harry Potter audio that you can’t move to different players and is a huge giant file (or two)? User unfriendly, indeed.

It’s not like I need to prove my market to iTunes — they’ve provided literally *millions* of downloads of my free (and ad-free) podcast around the world (and it’s a weird feeling to write that, but it’s true). It’s more like they’re the only game in town right now, and their game stinks.

All my digital books are registered with ISBN numbers (and my trademark, yo) — and if you’re a book and tech geek, you’ll love that I’ve just officially registered the first .zip file with an ISBN number (I don’t know of any other, and let’s just say there’s no category for it in the ISBN database). Now, let’s see how Amazon reacts when I contact them. At present, they sell the hell out of 20 of my print books… I wonder what their reaction will be, or if I’ll find out about *their* exclusive distribution deals.

The fun thing about getting the DRM-free MP3 files will be that you can send them to a lover (little hints, suggestions, ideas — it is ‘open source sex’ after all), or you can put the files on shuffle at home or on your trip or commute, and enjoy the surprises.

The book’s description and details are here, and after the jump. Subscribe to the Digita Publications RSS feed for access to new products before they’re officially announced.

Maybe I’ll have that champagne tomorrow night, and raise a glass in your direction — the screen, of course :)

Love,
me

(more…)

Image in seany’s Arse set.

The first video, Kink Hosts International Conference on Sex & Technology, is from Behind Kink News — it’s a truly excellent segment that covers the conference succinctly, with great quotes by Monochom’s Johannes. At the end, you’ll see bits of the opening night performance, with the girl who went a round behind the sheet with one of Fucking Machines‘ robotic stars — she said it was her first time with a vibrator, and (look quick and) you can see the machine operator dodge her ejaculation (orgasm) when she comes. Awesome! Don’t miss it, especially if you wished you were with us at Arse.

Then there’s the video by BotJunkie. Watching her body when she comes is intense! Hot.

Today I spoke to a packed (standing and sitting on the floor, even) room at Google about sexual privacy online in all forms, understanding sex and search (and who looks for it and why) and so much more. It was a tremendous opportunity to demystify sex and porn (and user perceptions of sexual privacy and anonymity; and the consequences of these assumptions). What a fucking fantastic time; the talk went great, I got a lot of really thoughtful questions, and kept the attendees laughing (for the most part, I think). So cool.

The whole talk was recorded and will be on Google Video in the next few days, then YouTube — I’ll post when it goes up if you want to see what I said to Google (and I’ll include talk-relevant links as well). I’ve been asked to go back and speak again. Wow! There are a few cute audience snaps here. And I promised at least one person in the crowd I’d link to this (link updated; I should really re-do the national section and finish this project, hmmm).

Also — I think Google hires mostly cute people. Just sayin’

Hee hee! I had no idea about this “advanced publicity”. A new friend just emailed me this shot he took on a door at Google today — uh oh, they know I’m coming ;) Tomorrow’s talk is going to be fun (and recorded, and available to watch later online). Image in flyer by Scott Beale/Laughing Squid.

whoah — image by mzvm from the 2007 Barcelona International Erotic Film Fest.

I’m going! Gore’s a bore, plus it’s pr0n at the Castro!

This is one of my most favorite interviews, ever: today’s SF Gate / Chronicle column is The Sex Columnist Meta-Universe. The openness, honesty and sharp articulate observations Rachel Kramer Bussel has about the state (and future) of sex columns is *amazing*. Note: she never, ever wrote an abbreviated version of the word “fuck” — that’s the SF Gate’s prudishness in being unable to publish even a quoted version of that very scary word. There’s a lot of great info here (and it’s a long piece); I’ve been waiting to do this topic for a while, and Rachel nails it. Snip:

VB: what do you think is the future of the sex column? Does technology and blogging/self-publishing play a role?

RKB: I think blogging and the ability to instantaneously respond to news items has changed the way we approach all media. We’re seeing people talking back to columnists, and going much further in the sexual realm than most papers, even alternative weeklies, will publish. I’m surprised more papers aren’t having people do what you’re doing with an online only column, and to be honest, I read almost all the media I do read online, and plenty of other people do, too, so I don’t know what’s stopping them.

I think “Sex and the City” did a real disservice to the sex column, because it stemmed from the idea that all these columns are cults of personality, where people are breathlessly awaiting the author’s next erotic move, like sex is a game to be played. At the same time, I think there’s something to be said for having a really strong personal voice instead of an omniscient tone, because at the end of the day, no one knows everything about sex, we all have things we can learn.

VB: What are you most excited about in regard to sex writing in general right now?

RKB: I’d really like to see smart sex writing, writing that can take sex apart and try to put it back together, that doesn’t just put a box around “sex writing” and give it glaring neon lights but assumes that sex is part of everything else in our lives. I think some of the best sex writing is going to come from the unexpected sources, not the same old same old. Like I’d love to see a memoir by a submissive man, because we’ve seen one from a professional submissive and dommes and strippers and hookers. I’d love to see more men writing frankly, not jokingly, about sex.

I just finished putting together “Best Sex Writing 2008,” which will be out in December, and I’m so proud of it, not only because it’s my first nonfiction anthology, but also because it takes sex apart and brings readers to unexpected places. I think I can safely say it’s nothing like what you’d expect from a “sex column” per se, and includes work originally published on parenting site Babble.com as well as work from sex worker mag $pread, Jewish mag Heeb, and an anthology about weddings called Altared. (That piece is on sex on the wedding night.) I like sex writing that makes me think, makes me cringe, makes me angry, makes me look at it in a new way.

I also really don’t like the idea that we are all talking to each other. I totally value the sex writing community I’m part of and the sites that are furthering that, like The Peeq and The Sex Carnival, but sometimes I wonder if we aren’t preaching to the choir and alienating others in the process. I want my work to be as inclusive as possible, because sex isn’t just for some selected group of people, it’s for everyone, and I’m open to reading about and learning from all kinds of folks, including Joan Sewell, who wrote a memoir called “I’d Rather Eat Chocolate,” about her low libido, to Paul Coughlin, who wrote “No More Christian Nice Guy.” I’m not saying I agree with those books 100 percent, but they opened my eyes to new ideas, and I value that. I am as sex-positive as the next perverted bisexual liberal, but I don’t think sex-positivity should be solely the domain of any political party or that it means policing others’ sexuality or judging it. There’s no “better than” or “less than,” if that makes sense. Ironically, I guess what I’m saying is that I’d like to see some kind of “Married, Not Dead” column that was actually good. Where sex within marriage, within long-term monogamous relationships, wasn’t treated as a joke or punch line or gender-roled cliche, but something that grows and morphs and transforms people.

Link.