Right before I went out last night, I saw the incredibly touching post about Todd by my close friend Thomas — thank you, Thomas.

I walked toward Hayes Valley, and with the beginnings of a sore throat and feeling cut by the sharp, chill wind off Twin Peaks, I hailed a cab. I had a little over ten dollars in my wallet, that should be enough for a neighborhood hop. Not in my budget, but neither is being sick. The cab driver barked, “Where ya goin’ pretty lady?” Hayes Valley, I said. “You goin’ somewhere nice? You look like it!” I told him, Absinthe, corner of Hayes and Gough. I’m meeting my mom for drinks and dinner.

My mom. It felt like a ghost had exhaled from my mouth, like someone else said it. But it felt okay.

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…is here.

(image via the stunning, delicious galleries of Sebastian Solo (via); this hardcore image was my second choice)

This week’s Chron column is a day late (for obvious reasons) but it’s got some razor-sharp teeth — mostly taking the local rag SF Weekly to task for tarring BDSM with an ugly brush (right before Folsom, with sex-positive Kink.com at home here, etc., to name a few reasons). I think you’ll like it, snip:

Like any venerated holiday, the Folsom Street Fair (folsomstreetfair.com), the world’s largest daytime celebration of kinkiness, happens but once a year. This weekend, it’s leather Christmas in the city - and if the weather holds up, we’ll likely see the estimated 400,000 BDSM-lovin’ attendees sweating it out in rubber and leather (or nothing at all) to get a taste of our very own internationally attended Disneyland for kinksters.

I don’t attend every year, and I’m not as kinky as you might think - like many attendees, I just like to watch. One year, a freak thunderstorm rained on the fair, sending leathermen (of all genders) running for cover, while waterproof, rubber-clad bystanders casually moved to drier confines (and in some cases, accent on the confined part). While it rained, the Gary Floyd Band (remember Floyd from that old punk band the Dicks?) played and sang until the water shorted them out, at which point the Buddhist bear frontman Floyd (a friend) finally stopped singing to thank the sky for its blessing.

Another year, I was squeezing my way through the crowd, ogling and trying not to touch anyone’s exposed bits by accident, when I ran into a pair of old friends. It was my recently married pals, Ron and Elisa (not their real names) - and I wasn’t so much surprised to see the house-in-the-suburbs (of Oakland) couple there, as I was to see Ron. He had just returned from his second tour in Iraq; I was elated and relieved to see him home safe and, well, so happy he was grinning from ear to ear. I asked the excitedly affectionate pair, “So, what are you two kids up to?” Elisa exclaimed, “We’re going to go get whipped! Ron was so excited to be home in time for Folsom.”

Like a couple at an amusement park, they were seeing the sights, and were on their way to stand in line for a light taste of the Folsom Street Fair’s fare. Ron concluded, “It’s so good to be home. See you later!” We hugged and I mused on the amazing patchwork quilt that makes up our definition of the “all-American” couple. As the afternoon passed, I caught a glimpse of them still wandering through the crowd, with matching striped backs and more big smiles. (Ron returned to Iraq for a third tour, and is now home, safe and for good.)

Folsom, for the uninitiated, is a taste of our so-called San Francisco values and much more. For locals, it’s just another weekend of impossible-to-get taxis, leather-studded bulges on parade in the Castro (even in Walgreens - is nothing sacred?), and strategizing errands around the SOMA shutdown. We might forget that going to Folsom can be the funnest, craziest, most claustrophobic, most shocking (and for some, arousing, or a sort of homecoming) experience a grown up can have in a daytime, carnivalesque atmosphere. You can buy as many overpriced beers, corsets, whips, BDSM books, DVDs, and “Got Slaves?” T-shirts as you can carry. Or have your slave carry for you, as the case may be.

Folsom is a lot of fun - and it can even be a bit trite, ridiculous, hilarious or boring, as the mystery, fright, and hype about BDSM and kink are (in some cases explicitly) exposed into the light of day for attendees to view from all angles, ask questions about, and see for what they really are about: consensual adult playfulness, in all its colors and extremes. It’s for experienced players and tourists alike, though I think the tourists are the most important part. Not just for the money they spend in our city, but for the chance they get to compare the reality of kink to the media hype - hype seen everywhere from Fox News to Hollywood (where seemingly every serial killer is dressed in a BSDM or transgender wrapper) to last week’s SF Weekly cover for its story about the death of local anti-drug activist Joe Konopka, who was found sans pulse, in BDSM gear. (…)

Link.

(image via)

Today at Fleshbot I blogged about the upcoming porn and technology conference here in SF, Arse Elektronika — read the post! (Yay, I’m back in action!) Pertinent details for Arse right now are: get tickets before they sell out, register as press *now* if you want to cover it (the press list is getting impressive), and set aside the weekend of October 5-7 for talks and panels from a whole lot of futurists and thinkers, and machine demos + interactive installations aplenty — not your typical porn con. At all.

* Also, check out the short Wired article about artist/filmmaker Michael Sullivan’s new work, The Sex Life of Robots (article has many more incredible images of his work). “Like all of his robots, these models have articulated joints and eyeballs that can be rotated. It takes Sullivan a “couple of days” to build each robot, he says. After he finishes the sculpting process, he finishes up with a layer of paint (black enamel or primer), followed by red oxide or orange washes, and a light buffing adds highlights.” Some of Sullivan’s dioramas will be on display through spring 2008 (opened this week) at Manhattan’s Museum of Sex. The (very transgressive, explicit) video sample is here, unfortunately with embedding disabled by the artist or I’d save you an extra click. Of course, YouTube pulled the clip — art or porn, anyone? If someone finds it linked from another site, ping me and I’ll update with the artist’s video — which deserves to be seen, even if simply behind an “18 or over” age check page.

Update: Video updates on The Sex Life of Robots and more info is here, at our darling Fleshbot.

I am in shock; explanation here.

For the next few days I will miss your deadlines, and not return your emails. Todd is all I care about right now, and I’m now in phone contact with people who are there with him. Light a candle and hope with me. An SRL member — a close friend — just put it best in an email,

“Things are looking good.
Modern medicine.
The’re look to stop the coma drugs ’round Weds/Thurs.
We’ll all know more then.
I will keep you in the smallest loop possible.
Fuck the SRL drama.
Todd is more special to you than anyone here.
I know that.
It has been a very hard time for us all.
Much stress and many tears.
And it breaks my heart to tell you all of this.
I don’t believe in God,
But let us all pray for Todd.
Our friend.
Our love.
He will be alright.
He will be.
Alright.”

I’m fighting the urge to dig out all of our old wedding photos. This is Todd’s site, in case you’re wondering who my sweet, brilliant, wonderful ex-husband is.

Hacker Boy is here with Thai food and Resident Evil DVDs.

Update: here is my altar, full of love and healing. I just talked to Todd’s dad, and he’s in optimistic spirits.

Update 9/27: There is a blog for Todd here; a PayPal donation fund for Todd and Alex (his love) here. Todd’s accident was blogged on Laughing Squid and Boing Boing. I have a personal update about Todd, who he is, with video and images, medical details about the injury, and what this all means to me after the jump.

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And to think that some of us get flowers on our one-year anniversary with the MSM. Others are “parting company” with ABC I’m sure her future promises more “rule breaking” new media adventures. (ahem).

/snap

Speaking of getting spanked on my birthday (okay, I know that’s a stretch), but while I did not (yet), it sure looks like this lucky lass sure did. (found and photo via)

Image of Hacker Boy presenting me with cake by Lane Hartwell.

Hacker Boy was very, very naughty. At the last minute, he turned what I thought was a quiet dinner at his house into an impromptu surprise party for me — I’ve never had one! It worked, I didn’t suspect a thing, and if you were left out, I’m absolutely positive it was because of the quick ‘n dirty nature of the whole, cupcake-laden, absinthe-drenched ambush.

I usually spend my birthdays alone, or try to leave town. The last time I had a party for my birthday, or celebration of any kind, was in 2002 at the SRL shop. The shop was packed; and I had the *extreme* honor of (then) being the most recent person to have their birthday party at SRL since William S. Burroughs.

I feel deeply loved, appreciated and fortified for another year of spreading the love, sex-positivity and silliness. And I’m blown away that people actually sent me stuff from my wishlist — *thank you*. The presents mean SO much, you have no idea. I’m heeding requests to keep some of the wishlist thank you’s anonymous, so I am doing so across the board. Though, I will be taking a sexy photo or two with the goods (and Hacker Boy will endlessly tease me for being a 2.0 camgirl…)

Birthday wishes from my inbox are cut and pasted, just for fun, and continue after the jump. It’s amazing I survived my nightmarish childhood and teens, to land here, with you. Let’s not stop, shall we?

“happy birthday beautiful!!!!!! you are gorgeous and have the best tattoos…. never let anyone cover them up!!!! love margaret“

From SRL @ Robodock in Amsterdam, the first show I’ve missed in 11 years:

“Happy Birthday Sweetheart!
You finally made it to:
Twenty One (21)
Yea, now I can take you out for drinks…….
We all miss and love you here.
No one more than me.
Come back soon.
Please……”

“Happy birthday you amazing, crazy, inspiring, never-tiring, neurotic,
erotic energizer bunny of bloggers! M”

“> oh, happy bday! let’s try and last as long as we possibly can! pt”

“Have a wonderrrrful birthday violet, you hear? Your present is on its way. xxooxx See you at Arse Elektronika! love, Viviane“

Now, more gratuitous lovin’ — sorry if I missed anyone! Thank you, everyone!

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Flowers delivered today to celebrate my one year anniversary as the sex columnist for the SF Chronicle/SF Gate! Which coincides with my birthday, so I’m off to a great start for the weekend. The lady who brought them said, “They specifically said to make it look ‘goth’”. Hee! And — thank you for the overwhelming birthday wishes, and extra props and support this week; I’m behind on email and will try to ping back on emails sooooon….

Cory Silverberg at About.com has quite a write-up about my experience with the Tyra Banks Show. And I am stunned, into silence, snip:

(…) If you haven’t had any interaction with Violet Blue yet a recent video blog she posted offers a new reason to meet her (virtually at least) and confirms for me why she’s not only a lovely person, but one of the most important sexual voices of our generation.

A few months ago Violet had an article about women watching porn in O Magazine (the magazine Oprah built). Like all of Violet’s writing the article was great. It was accessible to a wide range of people; it was funny, honest, and genuinely helpful to anyone interested in understanding pornography. It also managed to convey something of the complicated nature of sex without becoming too academic. One thing Violet never does is dumb sex down.

Not surprisingly the article also got Violet a lot of mainstream media attention. And this is how she found herself invited to be on the Tyra Banks show. Unfortunately the rest of the story isn’t quite so funny and it’s a whole lot more dumb. (…)

Link.

Thank you, Cory Silverberg.

Also, OMG update: Defamer blogged it, too! Defamer is one of my favorite blogs — thank you, Mark!

Update: Also seen @ DollyMix.tv, “Violet Blue told to cover up tattoos“; Jezebel, “Porn Ultimatum“; Babeland, “Violet Blue on Tyra Banks Show“; Fleshbot, “Violet Vs. Tyra: Clash Of The Titans”

I’ll be finally turning eighteen, so I can read my own blog. I have no plans, no family, no money and no shortage of very bad porn. I am not depressed, yet. I want to thank all of you — readers, listeners, viewers, emailers, lurkers and friends for another great year here in digital life on this broken but beautiful planet. My blog is my lifeline; thank you for spending time with me.

And, gratuitous: I can’t get the tool I very desperately need right now (a computer made after 2003), but if you want to send me a virtual cupcake, here’s my Amazon wishlist.

Image by Merkley???, titled “Luna — Dinner”. (see also; browser resize warning).

I’ve gotten multiple emails (with hilarious commentary) from fans of my Open Source Sex podcast about its most brilliant review, evah. “have you seen this awesome show review?” “Your show in a nutshell through funny conservative glasses”. (Are those like beer goggles? I have a pair around here somewhere…) And: “You may now re-write your bio.” Indeed. As follows:

Open Source Sex

This Podcast is graphic, undisguised and unapologetic pornography. The host “Violet Blue” lives in San Francisco. I think that tells you all you need to know about her. This is the only podcast for which I did not listen to an entire episode.

This show is pornography. My computer started showing a slideshow of naked people with whips when I hit “play” and things went downhill from there. If you find it on your child’s computer delete it and bring your child to your pastor or a Christian counselor immediately.

I also enjoyed what was said about my pals at Polyamory Weekly, but I am jealous not to be the most dangerous. Don’t you love how the conservatives dwell on the evils with such practiced precision? PW’s review:

Polyamory Weekly

This is easily the most dangerous and socially destructive podcast I’ve ever heard. The program is about Polyamory, the practice of having multiple sexual partners, provided everyone consents and knows what’s going on. It advocates just about every form of perversion you can imagine and the host frequently decries the fact that group marriages aren’t legal in the United States.

The program is not the most sexually explicit, nor is it the most offensive. It’s dangerous because the program seeks to normalize Homosexuality, Bisexuality, wife swapping, bondage and a host of other unChristian behaviors. They side AGAINST the Mormons who want to legalize underage brides, but if all those Mormon brides are 18 or older, they’re all for it.

If your child is listening to Polyamory Weekly, then I recommend you respond as if you’d found deviant magazines in their possession. Do not react with anger, as that will only make matters worse, but respond with Christian love and understanding. Your child has been exposed to dangerous and radical ideas, and needs help with the confusion of ideas that such exposure can create.

Link.

Image via Tokyo Undressed.

Researched and revealed in my Chronicle/SF Gate column this week: Hot spots to have sex in the city (”IKEA is so last year. Violet Blue serves up sizzling locales for sex”). If you’re coming to town for Folsom at the end of the month this might be a good one to remember; I also especially weighted it toward geeks and design freaks. It’s a fun, lighthearted piece (with a loving nod to that fab 71 Miles list). Enjoy, and here’s a snip:

Maybe it’s that your roommates are tired of your Hitachi Magic Wand vibrating their collectibles off their IKEA curio shelves. Or that when you get that dish of the day (or night) home to your thinly-walled San Francisco Victorian, you’re worried your elderly neighbors will dial in a domestic violence call once you tear off the trou and the games begin. Perhaps you just want to get out of the house to get it on — and this time it’s special. Not just any waterfront condo construction site near AT&T Park or parking garage behind Hooters will do.

No, you’ve got your hottie in what Forbes named this year’s No. 1 U.S. city for singles, and we’ve got some of the sexiest places to get it on this side of Paris. But like everything in the city (especially related to sex), alt locations for alt sex come in a rainbow of flavors. Lube up your Google Maps, and set yourself up for a hot night in.

Make a romantic getaway — in town

Every Sunday closest to the full moon, there’s a prix-fixe full moon romantic vegan feast for two at Millennium — also offering an entire five-course aphrodisiac package (including that room you’ll need to get to right away after dining) in conjunction with the upstairs neighbor, the Hotel California.

The Chateau Tivoli Bed & Breakfast Inn, situated near Alamo Square’s famous painted ladies, is considered one of the most romantic B&Bs in town, but that might be from local legends that suggested the park was astrologically ruled by the planet Venus (”A Guide to Mysterious San Francisco” calls the park “The Temple of Venus”).

One of the more stunningly gorgeous and utterly Asian-sexy-modern rooms can be found at the Mandarin Oriental.

Link.

*** Yes, I’m not the only one who is tired of seeing personal attacks in the comments. I got a nice email this morning from a reader who expressed sympathy and frustration. I’ve mentioned to my editor that I’d like to see SF Gate adopt a stricter comment policy, keeping comments on topic, and not just to attack the writer. It’s starting to look like Digg in there, if you know what I mean, and that’s not good for anyone. It’s not just my column (or me) that gets savaged like this, it’s across the board (I’ve been watching). But I get special treatment from the haters because I write about the sex. You know. Long gone are my hopes of seeing comments from people who recommend places I overlooked, forgot or didn’t know about.

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Image courtesy of Blue Blood (the dot net version). But it’s Talk Like A Pirate Day, so there.

Interesting to see this item pop up on Reuters India: anti-porn people are not getting their way, so sad. Though the article’s claims that “the FBI has focused investigations on small operations” is untrue: the biggest porn companies have been targeted in 2257 recordkeeping raids since the start of 2007. Snip from FBI reluctance stalls Bush anti-pornography push:

President George W. Bush, twice elected with solid backing of conservative Christians, promised to curb adult pornography in the United States.

But the administration has had little effect on the $13 billion industry, anti-porn activists say, largely because the FBI has focused investigations on small operations producing extreme forms of smut instead of on the bigger companies.

Adult-obscenity investigations have taken a back seat to more pressing issues such as terrorism, even though former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales named obscenity as a top priority, two FBI officials said.

Internal FBI guidelines also encourage agents to focus on the most egregious violations — material that depicts rape, defecation or sex with animals.

Pornography producers “know that they don’t have to worry about being prosecuted because it’s only the small companies that are producing that kind of material,” said Patrick Trueman, who headed the Justice Department’s Child Exploitation and Obscenity Section between 1988 and 1993.

Even though the prosecution of child pornography has greatly increased, porn-industry insiders agree that adult business has not been dented, despite repeated promises by Bush and his attorneys general to be more aggressive.

(…) “What you have today is a whole generation of people who have grown up with pornography who don’t think there’s anything wrong with it,” Trueman said.

Others question whether the government should be prosecuting adult pornography at all, arguing that its widespread appeal undermines the notion that it violates community standards. Commercial demand will always be better regulator than the threat of prosecution, they say.

Link.

Also — Thomas Roche has a really good sex news wrap this week at Eros Zine, check it out while I’m getting ready to dish on Tyra.

Also also — arrgh, hardcore pirates.

… Is extremely biting. I think you’ll like Los Angeles Erotic Film Fest 2007: Wrap It Up (I’ve been working on it all day, phew). It includes lots of links to photo galleries, coverage by others (good, bad and predictable) and this Altporn, Demystified panel intro video Hacker Boy shot from the front row. The panel was packed, and even had 2.0 porn celebs like Dave Naz and Ashley Blue (I got to meet them!) and more in the audience. Snip:

For two days, the LA Knitting Factory (clearly unaware that inviting porn people into their venerable establishment meant 48 hours of flashbulb-popping, boob-baring antics) turned three rooms into film screening areas and panel presentation spaces. All levels of mainstream — and a heavy handful of indy — porn peeps invaded to talk about themselves, which, of course, no one can get enough of.

The film fest portion ran the gamut from Porn Valley panelists to independent erotic filmmakers and artists giving a taste of the wider range of international, experimental and truly transgressive films and animation. Few outside the Valley were in effect; much of the fest showcased what I already knew about. But instead of the the mind-numbing fan fest of the AVN Expo, LAEFF ‘07 focused more on the porn (and its making) than the stars themselves (though the usual signings and industry trailers were fully represented, yo).

Films shown were in a range of actually exciting categories. “Artrotica” included new work by Martha Colburn, R. Kern, Bruce LaBruce, Eon McKai and Nick Zedd. The Best of CineKink NYC was a delightful collection of seven excellent shorts, including the yummy Honey and Bunny; I loved their inclusion of the biting but hilarious mockumentary “Dick Ho: Asian Male Porn Star”. There were erotic comedy film shorts; an “Eroticore” clip collection with a 20-minute “Not Another Porn Movie” entry by Joanna Angel; a teensy bit of retro clips and more. We were especially excited to see San Francisco’s Other Cinema represented in “Xperimental Eros”, a collection of experimental shorts curated by Noel Lawrence featuring works by Craig Baldwin, Mike Kuchar, Sam Green and Bill Morrison.

Like any tech conference that features panels of old media makers and mini-celebs alongside the new media mavericks — and a smattering of artists and writers throughout — some of the panels excited and inspired, while others fell flat into porn’s recurrent Navel Gazing Syndrome. Ron Jeremy made an early exit for another engagement, noted by another tattooed blogger through an unmuffled yawn (…)

Link.

Image by Gia Jordan for AVN @ this gallery (with lots more).

Here’s a fantastic shot of me having fun with the fabulous Fleshbot crush object Dana DeArmond (her paysite, her MySpace blog), who is so smart and snarky and cool, I’d hang out with her any day of the week. Lots of great images from our brief time (and the Altporn, Demystified panel) by Sean Bonner all here, who also snapped the one above. Sean has this great post with a few concise observations about what was discussed on the panel, and the general porny atmosphere. I also had the sublime pleasure of meeting for the first time “in the flesh” my newest girlcrush, Michelle Aston — and the ‘new girlcrush’ part is ironic, since she confessed to me in the Knitting Factory’s bathroom (post-panel) that I’d given her a mind-blowing (and evidently unforgettable) orgasm a couple years ago in my Dorkbot San Francisco Teledildonics talk and live demo. (Demo courtesy of the Museum of Sex staying open late in New York and the gracious use of the Thrillhammer’s teledildonics — here’s the blog post about that demo). Wow! I’ll upload all my media and have a recap soon. And don’t you worry, that Tyra video and full report is on the way — back to SF for us today!

Turtle: “I’m horny
some girls say I have a big dick”

Unicorn: “my boobies are cool”

Unicorn boobies, yay! I think that’s the storyboard for his next porn film, as long as the unicorn has stripey socks ;) I’m at Eon’s in LA, about to head to the film fest for the “Altporn, Demystified” panel. This should be interesting and a lot of fun — I’m especially excited to be on the panel with/meet (Octavio) Winkytiki (site sound alert).

Some things you might have missed, or ought to peep — niblets I’ve been wanting to blog but have been electing to investigate the aging, distended, disintegrating wall between celebrity and reality instead. Vacation from reality almost over. Check this out:

* Tristan Taormino, Village Voice columnist, sex educator, author, editor, friend and ultra-modern porn director wrote up her observations about Belladonna’s announcement to retire from performing in porn over contant STD/I concerns (also @). I really pushed to get someone as hip as Tristan on Tyra; they picked older, safer “romance” porn as the high (and they suggested, the most acceptable) standard for women to make or watch instead. Antiquated. Anyway, Tristan’s comments are very interesting, and Belladonna is truly among the modern young smart mavericks of power-player, business-smart porn women, so the whole thing is a piece of history worth reading. I’ve been repeating for years that the sex acts in porn are unsafe, not instructional and the sexual equivalent of Jackass — don’t try it at home, ever (and that’s why I have this porn act/STD chart on my site). Watch porn for fantasy and fun, and let the people making it make their own informed risks — which thanks to videos like this (insanely long one) by Nina Hartley and Sharon Mitchell, porn women have been empowered to make for themselves while they work in such a risky business (though not as risky as Iraq, hello).

* Zoe Margolis — the famed Brit sex blogger (and again, friend) Girl With A One Track Mind (who wouldn’t even tell me her real name when we met in person and went out for a night drinking in London two years ago) and was outed by UK press when her book came out — wrote a Guardian UK piece, Orgasms For The Hell Of It. Which you wouldn’t think is very controversial for a woman to write about anymore, except for some fucked up reason, still is. Like when I sat in the green room yesterday, stunned watching Tyra prod the pro and anti-porn “ordinary” women into fighting onstage, calling each other ’sluts’. It’s not as quaint and bemusedly antiquated as I’m prone to suggest, as Zoe points out. (ps, *full* Tyra post on the way)

* Pretty girl friday, a day late: a decent Hegre gallery of model Linda getting sand in her crack (in a pretty hot way, above image), and a luscious, explicit black and white pussy play Gallery Carre with model Julia. These were the two I liked of the many that landed in my inbox and didn’t make me want to force-feed all the girls lasagna, if you know what I mean. Too skinny isn’t hot for me, sorry.

* Hot boy saturday begins with a trope and a half — but until you send me the link to the H4wt B0ys of Linux Cal3ndar *or* the Viggo Mortensen See-Through Calvin Klein Outtakes gallery, I have to say the Beckham calendar ain’t so bad. For a Scientologist, anyway.

* Google Blogscoped reports that a German ISP is blocking several porn sites, though I’ll tell you that YouPorn *always* has a fully operative age check page — not that I um, visit several times a week or anything. There are a few interesting comments about Google and sex/porn and their SafeSearch function after the link — I’m especially peeping this info because it looks like I’m giving a talk at Google next month about sex and search. (YAY!) GB sez:

According to Spiegel.de, German internet provider Arcor has blocked porn sites Sex.com, YouPorn.com and another site for its 2.4 million users. A company called Video Buster/ Kirchberg Logistik, themselves an online porn provider at Sexyfilms.de, complained with the internet provider that YouPorn - a YouTube impostor, and already self-censored by Google Germany - and others were not implementing sufficient age verification for the site.

At this time, YouPorn already does ask users accessing the site from Germany to confirm they’re over 18 years old (this may or may not happen from the US or other places). However, Sexyfilms on their site are using a set of much more secure verification checks, e.g. one called “postident” in which a person is required to hand out their identity card witnessed by a post office employee in order to receive a ticket. Sex.com on the other hand shows a different result here when directly accessed versus what the Google cache shows; perhaps the site is using geolocation to change its appearance and content. The group behind Sexyfilms now claims that the easier age check allegedly employed by Sex.com and others is a competitive disadvantage.

Link.

* Update, Google-related: Looks like Google just appealed to the UN about setting global privacy standards. Of course, porn and sexual privacy isn’t mentioned at all, but I think it’s essential that we think about it in those terms — especially since the US government loves to use porn to undermine our privacy rights (and actively wants to do so on the internet and with social networking sites).

Image via.

Note: this was a two-part series for my Open Source Sex Chron column that (I think) reads best together, in sequence. Here’s Rape of the Real Doll Part One, and here’s a snip from the rest — Rape of the Real Doll Part Two:

IDollators are seen by Swanson as “not being able to have romantic relationships or whatever — or that desire for companionship as well as to enact violent fantasy.” “Lars and The Real Girl” is already being called “Capra with creep factor” and a film “about a blow-up doll delusion.” So the assumption here is that anything feminine and sexually receptive (indistinguishable for many people) is just “asking for it” (i.e. rape and/or the enactment of non-consenting violent sexual fantasies). And that like those dated porn-viewer stereotypes of men in raincoats, male sexuality is never less than one degree away from delusion, powerlessness over self-control and violence.

Pretty much everyone gets that these dolls are being used for sex — even if the sex itself is treated lightly (if at all), as evidenced in a PG-13 rating for “Lars and the Real Girl.” In other cases, the actual act of sex with a lifelike doll is detailed in graphic and snarky humor, as with Grant Stoddard’s 2004 Nerve.com story “I Did It For Science: Sex Doll” (nerve.com/Regulars/ididitforscience/SexDoll). Here Stoddard peruses a few Web sites and basically has a one-night stand — OK, a maybe a 15-minute daytime quickie — with a RealDoll prototype. Throughout the piece, Stoddard’s fascination and arousal are liberally laced with his own profound discomfort (”Grabbing her hand, I shrieked. Karen’s skeleton was discernible through her flesh, just like a real person’s. Regaining my composure, I moved my hand between her legs.”). In his conclusion, he rates the experience well and brackets it within the context of sexual fantasy, though to him the main advantage seems to be a partner who won’t resent male selfishness, as in, a fantasy partner who’ll never say no.

No matter what, it’s difficult for media perception to escape labeling what’s going on with the dolls as some sort of female degradation. But ask the iDollators themselves, and you might get a different story. (…)

Link.

* met by a driver with “BLUE” sign at the gate; delivered in a limo
* at the top floor of a really nice hotel with a great view of Madison Square Garden
* Tyra’s people had a little cash waiting for me when I checked in, sweeeeet
* knowing all my NY friends want to see me but I’m Tyra’s tomorrow until later than I thought, (whole show) then fly out
* exhausted
* on the floor wondering if any of this is real, or even worth it anymore. somehow feel more profoundly alone than ever.
* photoblogging every move on my Flickr photostream as it happens (via my Helio Ocean)
* will also be filming tomorrow’s events for my vlog — we’ll see what I can get away with tomorrow, which I hope is a lot
* they will be doing my hair and makeup tomorrow. I am not going to let them cover my tattoos. (they wanted my dress sizes and eye color, among other things.)
* strangely convinced that I will have a lot of fun and say fearless things with a cheeky grin. feels like I’m about to visit another planet for kicks and science (Ocean = tricorder), but not “going native”.

I met Bart Nagel in a bar tonight, and he swiped my Canon Powershot TX1 for a sec and took this photo — I also met the very sweet Charles Ogilvie and had a second with my dear friend Xeni and more friends; we all had much fun faking “myspace poses” and even the Sean Bonner worked it (but George topped us all). FYI — the blog here gets more personal (like this post) over the next week, as I fly to NY to be filmed for Tyra Banks thursday (all audience members get copies of my Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn book, w00t!) and then to LA for the film fest panel… I’m, of course, blogging and filming the whole multifaceted ordeals… ;)

* For a taste of visual sexiness unrelated to my weird life, visit this.

Hacker Boy sends me this xkcd comic saying, “How we found each other.”

* You thought the Japanese tea that (allegedly) made boobies bigger was the next — er — big thing. But how about F-Cup cookies? (side image via)

* Please, please, please email those totally disconnected lawmakers about your right to put a photo of breastfeeding on Facebook or your adult right to look at porn (or even post an image of booty) — go here, copy the text and email it off. It’s that easy and more important then you think. Fuck 2257’s privacy invasions on social networking sites! Monday (like, today) is our last chance.

* Porn peeps concerned about piracy? Read about it here, then go to YouPorn and wait for the next wave of *real porn*. Loud whispers tell me that old tyme-porn DVD is dead. Poor old porn media. Sound familiar? They should learn about the worth of making media ready for porn blogging. We’ve been trying to tell them for years… Echoes of the sad, tired, DRM’d past anyone? Yaaawn. (Yes, there will be much hate waiting for me at next weekend’s Erotica LA Film Fest, I’m sure.)

* Quentin and Asia Argento (when not in a linebacker’s jacket) want to make porn. Are we excited? Um, not so much when we have Maria Beatty, thanks.

* Eye candy: well, that would be pretty much everything haute couture latex at Vex Clothing (top image via, omg I want everything in their fairy line sooo bad). Their new line rocks, but between the rubber argyle socks and garter dresses and plus-size models next to twig-size models, they’ve got the hottest rubber couture shop in dot com town, as fas as I’m concerned. That rubber hair-fringed skirt, paired with Coco de Mer’s human hair whips… Yes, I want it all, even just for its own sake…

This is a pic by Aaron Dunn, who has a lot of very sexy galleries — but it’s via my (deep dark secret favorite new fetish blog), Bunnylicious (via). See also, previously: Aaron Dunn’s Optimus Prime Hot Robot Love!

More scary bunny action: check out this fetish bunny leather hood video: girl-with-a-sawzall-dildo gone rabid I just found at Stockroom.

* I almost used “via” as a noun within a sentence while composing this. Any other bloggers have this happen yet?

Take a break from worrying about our sexual privacy and freedom, and rinse your eyes with some really hot photos taken of Madison Young (whom I interviewed here). Wow, Madison’s hair is really getting long. :)

The series is by one of my favorite photographers, Samantha Wolov. Some of you might recognize her work from the covers of my books Lust and Best Women’s Erotica 2007, and hopefully more in the future. The free gallery previews at Nerve go far enough to tease us nicely.

That’s right — it’s the return of ‘pretty girl friday‘! (Hmmm, maybe I need to start a ‘hot boy saturday, too…)

Image: from when I rode with the SFPD contingent in the 2007 Pride Parade.

My dear sweetness Lawgeek sends me this news item on Reuters, about an officer who was fired for running a sex website with his wife when off the clock. A three-judge 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled against the (former) officer’s First Amendment free speech right (and “right to privacy”) focused case — which, of course, directly affects any individual’s sexual privacy online.

The judges ruled that because what the (former) officer did was “vulgar,” “indecent,” “sleazy,” and “disreputable”, he has no right to keep his job as a public servant. The thing is — what the former officer and his wife did was simple, boring amateur porn. I’m surprised anyone even paid for it (I’m sorry). It was just him and her having sex (hello, a man and his wife, in love, etc.), her masturbating, and occasionally her swinging with another woman. They made an amateur paysite — the “offense” here is one couple simply being exhibitionist swingers.

Below is the Reuters piece. After the jump I’ve cut and pasted the opinion of the *one dissenting judge* (from the full opinion on the 9th circuit website, PDF) The dissenting judge (Canby) has a chilling opposition to this. His comments on how this affects the First Amendment, gay rights, adult sexual privacy (and freedom), and even racial relations are worth reading, and bring that whole “chilling effect” home to roost. Reuters:

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - An Arizona police department had the right to fire a police officer who made and sold “vulgar and indecent” sex videos in which he performs with his wife, a U.S. appeals court ruled.

The 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals said on Wednesday that Ronald Dible had engaged in “sleazy activities” and ruled that a lower court had properly dismissed Dible’s claims that the Chandler, Arizona, police department infringed his First Amendment rights to free speech by firing him.

Dible lost his job in 2002 after the Chandler police department learned he was running a sexually explicit Web site featuring him and wife, Megan, which they operated to make money.

“We have not yet abandoned our social codes to the point that a city can be sanctioned for violating a police officer’s First Amendment rights when he causes disrespect of the police department and its members by performing in and purveying pictures of his and his wife’s sexually explicit activities over the Internet,” Judge Ferdinand Fernandez wrote for a three-judge panel.

“Ronald Dible may have the constitutional right to run his sex-oriented business but he has no constitutional right to be a policeman for the city at the same time.

“The law and their own safety demands that they be given a degree of respect, and the sleazy activities of Ronald and Megan Dible could not help but undermine that respect.

“His activities were simply vulgar and indecent.”

Link.

Now hear from the one judge who disagreed (I redacted previous case references for readability — it’s long and only part of his opinion):

(more…)

I’m wholly reposting this from Viviane because a) it’s scary-important, and b) we are friends so I don’t think she’ll mind. Like social networking sites? (Flickr, Pownce, MySpace, etc. etc.) Want the DoJ to be able to search you without a warrant if they think you’ve posted a “sexually explicit” photo? Think the DoJ would believe you if a troll posted an “obscene” image with an account made in your name, using your personal info as an act of evil? Can you imagine how not free we’d all be on the Internet all of a sudden — and how ruined social networking sites would be business-wise? (Bonus question: remember when Tribe “cleaned up” and blamed 2257 — where are they now?) If you’re an adult who uses the Internet, read this. *None of what the regulations propose have anything to do with actually stopping child pornography.* We have until September 10. Text:

The comment period for the proposed regs for Section 2257 ends in just 4 days. From the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force:

While many of the regulations pertain to companies that produce adult entertainment magazines and videos (and are extremely burdensome), they would also affect anyone who uses an adult social-networking site. Here’s how:

* The regulations would require the people running a site to get and maintain personal information from every user (that means you) who posts a “sexually explicit” photo, including your photo ID (driver’s license, passport, or military ID).

* The regulations would allow the Attorney General to conduct warrantless searches at will on the sites’ records, including your personal information.

* There are few safeguards over what the FBI can do with the information it obtains.

* If a site operator fails to comply with the regulations, he or she would face a prison sentence of up to 5 years.

Please follow this link to their activist center, for a sample form letter and the email address to send it to. Make sure it says in the subject line: Section 2257 Docket No. CRM 104.

Link to full explanation, with sample letter and email address.

In a follow-up re: images in my Rape of the Real Doll column post, I got an email from a reader who pointed me toward more from this gorgeous photo series — prompting me to let you know that the Low Tek Photography image in the last post is not a doll, but a *real girl*. Indeed. Should “real girl” go in quotes? Lars? More from his amazing series is here. (thanks, “Fred”!)

Image by LowTek, via.

This week’s column at the Chronicle / SF Gate is The Rape of the Real Doll, Part One: Violet Blue explores why silicone just seems to be “asking for it”. Kudos to teh chronic for running this edgy piece — there’s some extreme ground covered here. On a fun note, yes, I do include the mockumentary video Kink.com made when their doll was discovered sexually violated by a “mystery assailant”.

Today’s column is one half of my two-part exploration on cultural perceptions about ultra-realistic sex dolls; the people who use (and have relationships) with them, the feminist who rapes her twin sex doll and films it, the type of sex people have with these dolls, that good old ‘uncanny valley’ and quite a bit more.

In Rape of the Real Doll, I also cover the upcoming Hollywood film (and link to the trailer). Next week’s part two goes even further, while non-judgmentally showing the perspectives and relationships of *actual* iDollators. Here’s a snip:

In previous columns, women working in porn have asked themselves some pretty interesting (and often ironic) questions. Such as, “How many anal scenes does it take to open a feminist art gallery?” — in reference to international bondage model Madison Young’s new feminist art space, Femina Potens, which she’s primarily funded with her highly successful porn career. A few months ago, feminist dyke porn director Shine Louise Houston wondered (while founding lucrative lesbo-porn empire Pink and White Productions), “How many bad porn videos do I have to sell to get enough cash to build my online lesbian porn empire?”

This week, the question seems to be, “How many times do I have to rape myself to lube up my MFA?”

Or rather, it’s performance artist Amber Hank Swanson’s question, who, according to the Chicago Reader, is currently filming a movie called “To Have, To Hold, To Violate: The Making of Amber Doll.” It includes “video reenactments of rape scenes from movies” where Swanson faux-rapes her custom-made look-alike silicone sex doll (via 3-D facial scans and the expertise of the RealDoll company). In “To Have”, she enacts a Vegas marriage (in matching gowns), sluttifies Amber Doll with clothes that she describes as “asking for it,” and enacts mock-rape scenes from Hollywood films on camera, where Amber and her doll are dressed as faux-rape victims.

Swanson isn’t the only one making movies about relationships with realistic sex dolls, and Hollywood’s got one in the can and ready to go. “Lars and the Real Girl” is an MGM comedy set for limited release October 12 and described as:

“A heartfelt comedy starring Academy-Award-nominated Ryan Gosling as Lars Lindstrom, a lovable introvert whose emotional baggage has kept him from fully embracing life. After years of what is almost solitude, he invites Bianca, a friend he met on the Internet to visit him. He introduces Bianca to his brother Gus (Paul Schneider) and his wife Karen (Emily Mortimer) and they are stunned. They don’t know what to say to Lars or Bianca — because she is a life-size doll, not a real person and he is treating her as though she is alive. (…)

Link.

I can’t wait to see the comments on this one. Middle image, “Caroline bride” randomly found on Flickr here and is not associated with “Lars and the Real Girl” — but you get the idea. Bonus image:

Wow — I’m so blown away I can’t keep it to myself. It just took me literally 30 seconds to log into my Helio account page, switch phones and sync all my contacts. I left my Ocean at Hacker Boy’s by accident (on the cat, actually) so plugged in the Fin and — hello, sexy, ultra-slim phone :D