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Archive for June, 2007

three books I’m diggin’ this weekend

June 30, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

verybloodymarys.jpg* The Very Bloody Marys by M. Christian

This is M. Christian at his best — back cover: “A gang of Vespa-riding vampires are killing San Franciscans so indiscriminately they threaten to not only drain the city dry — but risk the discovery of vampires everywhere. Gay vampire cop Valentino is called upon to stop the group calling themselves The Very Bloody Marys before the situation gets worse. (…)”

* Naked on the Internet by Audacia Ray

I begged to blog about this book before it came out because it’s just so amazing, complete and a true total examination of women and sex on the Internet — this book will most certainly change the cultural conversation about women’s sexuality online. A must-read for everyone interested in blogging, sex blogs, female sexuality and what all those girls are thinking when they peel it off and post it online.

* Kink by Saskia Walker and Sasha White

If you love the erotica in my podcasts but want a longer, more delicious read, this is for you. Listen to me read a sample of Saskia’s *hot* work in Open Source Sex #34. I’m a big fan of Walker and have published her erotica more than once.

podtech’s little photo problem

June 29, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

Not sex related, but directly related to me and my communities: the Podtech photo misuse issue that’s emerging on blogs and the Yahoo videoblogger mailing list. A few weeks ago I caught this, thanks to Jason pointing it out on my photostream — but haven’t had time to follow up on it until now. The short version is this:

According to this post, Podtech snagged a Flickr photo for their Vloggies promo images and didn’t compensate the photographer, Lan Bui. He invoiced, but it seems he got the runaround; he posted after weeks (months?) of unsatisfactory response from Podtech.

Lots of people blogged about it, but what’s weird is that the three main faces of Podtech — Robert Scoble, John Furrier and Linda Furrier all partially responded to this issue — but only publicly in the comments on other blogs, namely here and here. John Furrier and Scoble responded about the issue on the Yahoo list, but disparagingly about the Vlog community and in one instance saying that they’re “paying tons of content providers all over the world and we lost a TON of money on Vloggies. We invested in the community and now are negotiating with you.” (Scoble). It’s been months and this still isn’t resolved. Is this any way to treat a community concerned about misappropriated content? Telling us our work is a waste of their time (despite the fact that Podtech put *zero* effort into promoting the Vloggies first time around, and IMHO, put Podtech on the map?)

It sucks that Lan Biu’s image got snagged by a big company and he was not immediately compensated — regardless of the “complexity” of the situation being referred to in comments by Podtech employees/owners on *other blogs*, the least they could do is comment on Lan’s blog, or — hello — make a public apology of some kind for a mixup, at the very least.

It’s especially painful to the vlogging and online indymedia communities when even a hint of content ownership violation happens. Even just the way Podtech has *non* responded shows that these big companies are fine to co-opt content-making communities (like vloggers and the Vloggies) but still behave badly (like corporations) when it comes to individuals within those communities, revealing that they still don’t “get it”, at all.

I hope there’s a positive update on all this, soon. That it even got this far is a huge disappointment.

Update: Valleywag picked this up (thank you!), and in the meantime I’ve received two more emails off the videoblogging list. One is from Robert Scoble and the other from Lan Bui. Here, Scoble tells the Yahoo! list that “an employee [at Podtech] made a mistake”. This is a great start. I’m not getting all the mail off this list but these two relate to the issue at hand directly, and contain small details I feel are very relevant. One, that Bui is outright calling Scoble a liar — holy crap. The other is Scoble’s statement saying that “(…) it’s easy to miss the copyright on Flickr”.

Is it, really?

Why do I care so much about this? This whole thing seems (to me) to be a huge, evolving object lesson in the way these big 2.0-ish companies behave toward the communities and individuals they serve. I’m starting to feel like we can rest assured that the people with money (and people who “make it”) will always treat us content creators disposably, and shift the blame when they fuck up — more correctly, when they are publicly called on their transgressions and the self-correction mechanism of 2.0 community scrutiny kicks in. What companies like Podtech say when b/vloggers call them on their accountability is very revealing: we get to see where their values lie. The emails are after the jump.

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cross your legs tight, and read about the g-shot

June 29, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

In early June, the Chronicle/SF Gate devoted a few miles of HTML to an article about the “G-Shot”. This is a new procedure where women who feel (or are convinced they feel) G-Spot inadequacy, have a shot of collagen injected into their urethra. The idea behind the G-Shot is ostensibly to swell up the urethral opening and canal and heighten sensitivity. It was invented (and trademarked) in 2005 by Dr. David Matlock, a Los Angeles gynecologist and plastic surgeon (he now sells G-Shot kits to colleagues and recently opened the Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute of America in Los Angeles).

Re-cross your legs, and chill with me for a minute. Now, historically, people have done, and still do, some seriously wacked things to their bits in order to have better, more intense, funner crazier sex. Guys shoot themselves with caverject to maintain erections on porn sets; they also get silicone injections to add size. Women get their pussies tightened by plastic surgery docs more and more, and less than a hundred years ago gals underwent bizarre mechanical medical procedures for “female hysteria”, not to mention the Spanish Inquisition-style devices doctors once recommended to prevent masturbation.

You really haven’t come a long way, baby. But have you come, lately? The real questions I have about the G-Shot, once I get past my visions of guys with questionable sexual pleasure knowledge hovering over vaginally insecure ladies with three-and-a-half-inch needles are simple. Does it work, or not? Is there any long term-damage to sexual function? Do the docs explain everything before they shoot?

(And now my embattled Chronicle editor moans.) Sadly, the SF Gate piece suffered from a certain typical sex journalism malaise; it was not sex-negative, for a change, but the author began the piece setting us all in doubt as to whether the G-Spot exists at all. The actual sex information about the topic (the G-Spot) was entirely missing from the piece — and later when the procedure is described, it’s totally, utterly confusing as to what’s even going on when the shot is administered. The writer totally danced around the G-Spot’s anatomy, which required an explanation. I mean, seriously — the vagina ceased to be a dark mystery cave like 40 years ago. Was it the writer’s distaste or ignorance? Or is it because the fundamentals of mainstream sex reporting rely on consumers (readers, customers) having the same level of sexual confusion as the women getting the shots, or the men administering them?

The women getting shots, and things like vaginal rejuvination (plastic surgery) are facing some serious issues, which I would love to see explored in any article about the G-Shot. Is anyone devoting time to finding out what these issues are, and what the docs think about them? I mean hey — even famous porn stars have vaginal plastic surgery disasters.

I’d love to see these things (like the G-Shot) reported on by someone with sexual knowledge. Also: even-handedness with pros and cons. The article asked the question “does it work?” but didn’t ask “how does it fail?” though this may be attributed to the writer’s sex knowledge limitations preventing them from knowing what questions to ask. (Keep in mind I’m not in judgment of women making their pussies into Franken-gasm machines if they so desire, as long as they’re informed.)

So, here’s a snip from Enhanced romance: The G-Shot — Is it the latest panacea to improve your love life?:

Karen Roberts scheduled an appointment with her plastic surgeon at the end of a long day. The 22-year-old student at Solano Community College attended morning classes, caught up with homework and took her 4-year-old daughter to a matinee.

By 4 p.m. she sat inside Dr. Justin Salerno’s office, readying to become the surgeon’s first patient to receive an injection called a G-Shot, also known as G-spot Amplification. With a 3 1/2-inch needle, Salerno would pump a small dose of collagen into his patient’s Grafenberg Spot and make it swell to the size of a quarter.

The G-spot has been the subject of lore and controversy since it was first identified in 1950 by the German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg. Some sexologists believe the small area behind the pubic bone and accessible through the anterior wall of the vagina is an erogenous zone that when stimulated leads to heightened sexual arousal and powerful orgasms. Others dispute the zone’s very existence, arguing that studies have turned up no scientific evidence of the G-spot’s location, or only highly questionable results.

In the case of Roberts (a pseudonym used at her request to protect her privacy), she was unsure whether the G-spot existed, and if it truly held the key to a vibrant sex life. But she was willing to find out.

“If I could come home like my husband, have sex and feel that release,” Roberts said before her appointment, “I’d be one happy woman. But instead I come home, I spend all this time concentrating, hoping something will happen and I just end up frustrated.”

The procedure, which has been performed on approximately 250 women nationally in the past two years at a cost of $1,850 each, appealed to Roberts because she felt life’s rigmarole had left her fatigued by the end of the day, hardly in an amorous mood. Even when she felt the surge of excitement, reaching an orgasm was a time-consuming endeavor that took more effort and energy than she and her husband had to offer.

Link.

Now, dig the response in Sound Off about the G-Shot from someone with practical sexual pleasure knowledge, Dr. Carol Queen:

To be sure, there are some women and men who suffer from true sexual dysfunction, who need and could really use pharmaceutical or other medical help.
But most people with sexual issues do not fall into this category. Most people who are unhappy with their sex lives have partners with whom they are incompatible in some way, or they (and their partners) suffer from insufficient or incorrect information about sexual arousal, pleasure and functioning.

Plus, Americans harbor the “Fix it, Doctor” belief that a visit to the physician can and will cure what ails them, even if “what ails ‘em” is not, in fact, an ailment at all.

The real problem with innovations like the “G-Shot” is not that they might not work, though news coverage like the San Francisco Chronicle’s recent article about the procedure devoted scant ink to that possibility.

The real problem is that these Next Big Sex Things obscure the role of good, old-fashioned sexual and anatomical knowledge and the ability of partners to communicate about what they like, what they want, and what works best to arouse and satisfy. They also obscure the fact that different people may best be pleased by different things. That’s because, simply, everyone is not alike.

But then, why would a plastic surgeon devote any time at all to explaining this? There’s no money in that for him, as there assuredly is for doing the “G-Shot” and the next procedure and the next.

Just as most MDs don’t take the time to look up from writing a prescription for Viagra to say “Oh, by the way, if you simply cut out fatty foods and nicotine, cut down on alcohol, and walk twenty minutes every day, you probably wouldn’t need this stuff.”

If most of the new breed of “G-Shot” docs won’t take the time to tell their female patients the basic information needed to succeed at sex, who will?

Link.

Now, I’ll do the thing no one else here has — explain G-Spot anatomy. Read it in an excerpt from The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot, after the jump.

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quote of the week

June 29, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

“I have to get back to watching more Vivid porn, mostly because I don’t have my revolver, which is lucky for everyone involved because I’d hate for the office manager to have to write BASURA across my dead body.”

–a fellow porn reviewer

it’s working! thank you, Oprah

June 29, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

Just got this fabulous email, which has me bouncing off the ceiling:

I caught your article in O magazine which led me to your website which had
me standing on my chair clapping. Just wanted to let you know you rock,
your website links are fantastic and to please keep it UP!!! You reached a
whole new audience with that article.

XOXO,
[redacted]

get smart: the smart girl’s guide to the g-spot is here!

June 28, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

gspotcover.jpgI’ve got three new books out that I’m just now getting a chance to blog about. Part of the lag time has been because my publisher hasn’t gotten me copies of the books, which is unusual and more than a bit frustrating — especially when the way I discovered my new book Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot was out was when I saw Gram’s review of it on Fleshbot. You know, the blog I write for. So weird.

I’m still waiting for my mine, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get your own copy of what might be the fiercest book I’ve ever written about sex. As I grow in power as a sex writer (after the accident with the double doses of radiation, Liquid Silk, a Swarovski USB drive, a JimmyJane Little Chroma and a P2P copy of Kinsey) — I get to write about sex more and more however the fuck I want. So, in the Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot I dish out the accurate sex info and take no prisoners when it comes to girls coming. Read the intro (after the jump) to see what I mean.

My favorite line: “We’re not searching for a mythical magic button buried somewhere in our pussies; we’re constructing a doomsday device in the basement.”

This book is my fatwa on hippie goddess books about women’s sexuality and guys who say (on their websites, ahem) that female ejaculation is pee. Your time is up.

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audacia ray invades san francisco

June 28, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

I’m so excited about Waking Vixen bringing her book tour for her fabulous, history-making tome Naked on the Internet to San Francisco that I interviewed her about being an ultra-fabulous sex blogger in today’s Chron/SF Gate column. It was either that or buy a dozen cupcakes and gleefully, hysterically roll in them. Which now may actually happen, because I’ve managed to lure Dacia into staying here at the Blogger Bungalow with me while she’s in town. No little adorable frosted baked good within city limits will be safe! Or adorable frosted humans, for that matter. Two sex bloggers, too much porn, digital cameras and a weekend? Sexy nerds, beware. Snip:

Sex writing has grown, and grown up on the Internet, to the point where there are hundreds and hundreds of sex blogs. Maybe thousands. Not even porn blogs or porny splogs, but actual, explicit, literary sex blogs where people write about their fantasies, experiences and philosophies of sex. Name your flavor, down to the most overly specific fetish (nose bondage, anyone?) and there are at least a dozen bloggers showing and telling (but mostly telling) stories about their experiences, with communities of commenters and sidebars of blog-rolled sex-blog pals. No A-list sex-blog lineup would be complete without putting New York fetish model, sex worker and sex educator Audacia (”Dacia” to her friends) Ray (wakingvixen.com) somewhere near the top of the heap.

Ray’s start in the world of sex began when she became a researcher for the New York Museum of Sex. A gifted, articulate and fiercely honest writer unafraid of writing about difficult and highly personal topics, she started Waking Vixen (”Audacia Ray is no sleeping beauty”) back in 2004. Her blog became one of the more legendary, must-click stops in the sex blogosphere, and now she’s the editor of feminist sex-worker magazine Spread, a contributor to several blogs, a porn director and an author whose new book “Naked on the Internet: Hookups, Downloads and Cashing in on Internet Sexploration” is a groundbreaking report on women, sex and the Internet. There may be no other person who knows more about women’s sexual expression, and their experiences being sexual, online today. (Full disclosure: Ray, unbeknownst to me, featured me several times throughout the book.)

Because she’s that kind of girl, Ray launched the book and hit the road on a grrl-powered, DIY book tour across America. July 10, Audacia begins conquering San Francisco — let’s hope she has at least one salacious adventure a day while she’s sexing and blogging on our fair Barbary Coast. I pestered Ray to see what she’ll be up to when she’s here and what it would take to get her to nibble one of our fabulous cupcakes.

Link.

Of course, they didn’t link to her site (I’m sorry Dacia). And someone with sticky copyedit fingers changed the correct spelling “$pread” to “Spread”. Oy.

of pride and porn

June 27, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off


Image: “Violet Blue at SF Pride” by Kevco.

The video is edited and up, the photos are posted and tagged and trussed up like little snacklets of my experience all weekend. The thoughts in my head are about politics and equality and coming back to some very interesting porn (as I describe in the video, which is NSFW), and I’m returning to a general sense of total creative frustration. I could have made the video work-safe and pride-only, especially with the KRON-4 footage and Gavin Newsom window dressing, but I thought, fuck it — this is my experience. Life contains boobs, and I am an adult — who happens to get mailed DVDs of things called Culos Gigantes and the new Penthouse.

In the video I mention the new Penthouse, which is really the most interesting men’s mag out there right now. The centerfold (Sasha Grey) looks like an American Apparel ad but explicit and shot by Terry Richardson; all their featured models are very pretty, some have tattoos (like the cover girl) and the features are quite good. It’s not your snooze-worthy bobble-head blonde, celebutard-packed Playboy, that’s for sure. I think it could use some more weird sex features and some sex and tech stuff, and they still need to lose that tired old men’s mag formula idea of “tricking girls” but it’s been picked up more than once here in the Blogger Bungalow, so there ya go.

Other porn I mentioned in my video are Man’s Ruin, Afrodite Superstar (preview) and Black Worm (post). I haven’t seen any of them yet, but they’re the most interesting ones I got this week.

The video from my weekend is embedded after the jump after a few choice photos and some commentary about my experiences and observations. My creative frustrations will be explained over the next few posts after this one…

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wikipedia traffic metrics: sex ed top in searches

June 27, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

There’s a wee post over on a traffic metrics blog showing that sex (sex ed, especially) is high in Wikipedia search rankings, beating music and movies, and tying with “pop culture”. I wish the author would have included specifics on which sex ed topics are being searched for. But it does show that people are hungry for accurate sex info over titillation, and all that abstinence education, despite the government’s best efforts, is still a big waste. People are going to seek out sex ed no matter what — and that’s a very good thing.

I spent time at a party last weekend with two local pathologists, asking them what they find in people’s butts. The answers were *scary*. So please, please — Wikipedia for all!

meditations on metropolis

June 25, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

Hey — I’m still here. I have lots of photo and video to upload and a column to write; I had quite a weekend. Yes, to those of you who emailed — that was me with those cute girls in that window on 16th Street, flashing our boobies to the cheering dyke march. Yes — I saw Elizabeth Edwards speak (from the table next to the stage; we all agreed she should run instead of her husband). Yes, over the weekend I got another email from someone who wants me to die for talking about sex (a guy who wants me put out of my misery). And yes, I was in the parade with my mom Police Commissioner President Theresa Sparks, and Gavin right behind us, and yes, I met like a zillion officials (DA, police chief, etc) and hung out with oodles of happy and proud LGBT SFPD officers. I also met the gang task force head and had some interesting discussions. And bizarrely, all weekend I was constantly recognized by someone I didn’t know everywhere I went. I’ve been in the world of politics and high-profile discussions of issues like equality and discrimination, and laughing/rubbing shoulders with people who are devoting their lives (and personal safety) to creating positive change. I’ve been understanding a new kind of love and strength and loyalty, and a new kind of hate and ignorance.

So I’m getting slowly back to work here, catching up on the tech world and media I’ve missed, and thinking about a lot of stuff.

Anyone see Metropolis recently? It’s one of my favorite films of all time, and I know it quite well. I just saw this post, and all I can think is, “Eternal Gardens”, anyone?

This is the Metropolis wiki page; an overly wordey review but concise description of the Eternal Gardens is here on Not Coming; this is a fabulous fansite.

it’s gay christmas!

June 22, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

In San Francisco this weekend — it’s Pride, and I have a pretty heavy schedule. I don’t mean to lazyweb my way through with lots of image and random video posts, but I might: check my Flickr page and my show page if I don’t get to update here in the next 24. Tonight: trans march, tomorrow dyke march sideline boobie-flashing, sunday I have a VIP brunch, then I’m in a convertible with my mom Theresa Sparks (SFPD Police Commission President) in the contingent right before Gavin Newsom, surrounded by about 200 LGBT cops (omg, hot women with sidearms!). Then, another VIP reception and hopefully an oxygen tank/margarita IV drip combo — and oh you know my TX1’s battery is *charged*. And Jonno’s here, yaaaayyyy!

Last night I met Duane Cramer (Flash site) and this beautiful model; posted here and here. I really appreciated that for his current Shadow + Light erotic photo show, he included a straight couple (PFLAG) to complete the diversity he believes Pride stands for — “to represent our straight allies and supporters”.

christian spanking porn

June 22, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

Sex writer Greta Christina is quite unnerved by the very real spanking practices in certain fundamentalist christian “biblical marriages” — and she wrote an (ahem) heavy-handed post about it on the Blowfish blog. They even have their own “romantic spanking fiction” for “Christian Domestic Discipline marriage”. Interesting, no?

[video] sex toy gifts from good vibes

June 22, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

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Good Vibes (my former employer) asked me to their warehouse a week ago to give me some toys they thought I might enjoy reviewing. I got some very funny video out of it, both there and when I got home, including a cameo or two by my very wary cat, Alex.

Side info mentioned in the video: Japanese vibrators are extremely high quality; they have the best, most reliable motors. Most sensation creams (like clit ‘tingling’ creams) have arginine in them, which causes flare-ups for people with herpes (so Good Vibes made their own with *no* arginine).

They gave me so much fun stuff I’ve only *begun* my adventures:

The Cone, the JimmyJane Little Chroma (love it), the Sidekick, Hand Cream, a Goldfrau, a Sprocket, a Rippler, Zing Pleasure Cream, a Blackberry Ring and Good Lubrications Warming Gel.

The Cone — omg, the pamphlet that comes with it is *hilarious*. In one image for suggested use, it’s a silhouette of a woman in high heels with the Cone pressed between her and a wall — as if she sat on the Cone, it got wedged in her hoo-hah, and she backed into the hallway like a cat trying to escape a — cone. Total party favor. So far I’ve only tried the Little Chroma, and it’s fantastic. Great for partnered sex, and an *excellent* clit vibe. But then again, JimmyJane has the lustiest, coolest vibes going these days; I did this Fleshbot post on their ultra designer line last week, with art by (Tank Girl and Gorillaz artist) Jamie Hewlett. So hot. Oh, and while I’m on the subject of new sex gear I like, while I was at GV I bought some Silk, a new lube, which I think I might like even better than Liquid Silk, even though the former seems to be riffing off the name. Regardless, they’re both great, top-shelf lubes.

The video is on this show page, and embedded after the jump.

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viva la revolucion: mah sexy sf pride guide

June 21, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

This week’s column on the SFGate/Chron is Ten Ways to Get Lubed in San Francisco, which is a very grownup Pride visitor’s guide, but is also a handy resource for seeing the sexy sights whenever you visit. The Gate turned on comments for this column, and I just made the mistake of reading them. People can really be mean, even over such a fluffy column. Can I go through one week without people being cruel to me? Nope. Though, I did get a very complimentary private email from the Board President of the SF LGBT Pride Celebration Committee — and a friend emailed, “Come on, the hate of uncool people is frequently more satisfying than
the love of the cool. Girl, you know it’s true.”

Still, it’s nice to discover in the comments that I’m a tool of the revolutionaries, just as you’ve all suspected. I’m leaving the house now to go get some tough(er) love from Thomas. He likes to poke my thick skin until I giggle, or slap him, whichever comes first. It’s how we show affection in the revolution. Snip:

San Francisco is a sexual wrinkle in the space-time continuum. There are many theories on why we seem to be the epicenter of all things bawdy, naughty, dirty and just plain sexy. Some cite history: the famed Barbary Coast days, when the streets boasted ladies in breeches and inexpensive company of all flavors, and sailors were, um, sailors. We had the biggest red-light district in the world for at least a decade. The term “mack” even originated here: French pimps brought girls here by the literal boatload, and the French word for pimp (or “broker”) — maquereau — became shortened on our fine shores to “mack.” As in, San Francisco is your Mack Daddy this weekend.

Theories also abound on why we’re a sexual vortex: those good ol’ maritime ways, how sweaty we all get walking up and down those hills, the weather (fog’s ability to make the Castro into a continual, hard-nipped wet T-shirt contest), the infestation of sex educators, those damn beatniks, those damn hippies, liberal mayors, conservative papers, too much fresh air … oh, and those damn homos. Definitely related to the homos.

Well, at least it is this lovely Pride Weekend, and we’re all better off for it. Because we may not be able to nail down exactly why San Francisco is so sexually encouraging, tolerant, smart and hot all over, but we certainly know how to throw a few parties in celebration of self-determined sexuality as a very normal human birthright. So if you’re in town this weekend for our beloved Pride Parade or Pink Saturday, or just to hang out and marinate in our cherished rainbow stew — and you’re curious about seeing more than the plentiful queergasmic family fare on hand, your only quandary is narrowing down your choices. Get your official Pride events here (hotel and visitor guide is here), but do consider a few well-lubed, quite adult picks from your native sex columnist (…)

Link.

shadow and light excerpts

June 20, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

sandlquinn.jpg

Sweet reader, SVG emails me about the hot hardcore graphic novel series, Shadow and Light — I reviewed a couple of these when I worked at Good Vibes and loved them, and the images in their (slightly censored, bah!) sample galleries are too hot not to share. Above image is from Shadow and Light Vol. 4. Here’s a bio on the artist Parris Quinn and some *tasty* uncensored samples, wow.

quote of the week

June 20, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

“Lord Christ Jesus, I would deep throat Bill Clinton until he came out my ass if only that man could be magically crammed back in the White House, and at the time he was there I didn’t even like the son of a bitch that much.”

–via email, from a (straight male) sex writer friend

john hodgman on ebay — damn, he’s not cheap

June 20, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

Apparently right now on eBay you can bid on a personal pre-show tour of the Daily Show studios right now, led by John Hodgman. I really enjoyed seeing him read in SF last year. I would totally expect a lap dance at those prices, though. The kind where you get to touch. (thanks Praemedia)

catching up on my media: the tommy chong video

June 20, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

You prolly already saw thins but if you didn’t… The segment on the Colbert Report, where Chong describes something so explicit Colbert actually blushes up to his ears (even in the Quicktime version you can see it!), but only after Colbert succinctly breaks down the news/comment/opinion reward cycle for useless news items (like in this case, Paris Hilton). My stomach hurts from laughing.

aaawwww

June 20, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

A moment of happy self-indulgent cuteness: Wired’s Flickr party post, with a stellar shot by Lane Hartwell, captioned, “Robot hackers are sexy, too! Blogger Violet Blue proves the point (…)”. Also pictured, two guys I adore and admire — my pals Nate Pagel and Robert Boyle.

my injured motorcycle friend

June 19, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

Many of you have lit candles, said prayers of all kinds, and sent concerned emails about my friend Amacker who was in a very serious motorcycle accident about 2 weeks ago. She lost control of her motorcycle and suffered an internal decapitation. We can all keep up with her *incredible*, very excellent progress on her blog, which her family and housemates have been diligently updating. This post has an address for sending snail wishes, if ya want. I’m all stocked up on a barrage of filthy gay porn cards for her already.

This is the girl who collects black cats. A very lucky and sweet girl, indeed.

Oprah puts the O in my OMFG

June 18, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

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After being offline all weekend helping a friend get hitched at the Russian River, Hacker Boy and I are getting water at Safeway and he surprises me with that thing you never expect your pale, lanky, broody very boyish companion to say — “Hey, is that the new issue of O?”

It was — and I snapped the above picture in a Russian River cafe — of the O Magazine July issue celebrity contributor’s page with me and Queen Latifah! w00t!!!! They called me a “brazen blogger”, a label which I will never live down from my friends, oy. And that’s a photo by Scott Beale/Laughing Squid, with credit and the LS URL in the fold — and now we’re in Safeways across the *nation*. What’s even more exciting is that it’s a big hyooge two-page article (by me) about porn for women. Do you have any idea how much the anti-porn pundits would kill for an opportunity like this to say the exact opposite about women and porn? Take that, Pure Life Ministries, Bush administration, anti-porn feminists of the past three decades. A salvo has been fired, a flag firmly planted. My book, The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn, is now in O. How crazy-amazing and progressive is that of Oprah!? Very, I think. Especially when you consider the lineup of recommendations I have in it, like:

* Comstock Films
* Fleshbot
* Sugar DVD
* Green Cine
* Bleu Productions
* The Bi Apple
* Cult Epics Vintage Erotica
* Tristan’s Chemistry
* Candida Royalle

We’re winning. Just sayin’. Now I have to go scream into a pillow for a little while. Thank you for the post title, Eve. :D

Update: This is so great: Scott blogged this with sweetness and included his original photo — and my photo of his photo, so taste the delicious meta! Thank you Scott!

Update 6/20: Thank you soo much to everyone who has sent me email about this. You have *no idea* how much it means to me right now. Jonno my Jonno, gave me the big juicy props on Fleshbot, making me need to stock up on candied ginger vodka and puppy treats for Pride weekend. (And yes, Thomas, I’ve always wanted to be under Queen Latifah too.) But this one, this email started the waterworks:

Dear Violet,

There aren’t words for how grateful Peggy and I are for the support
you’ve show this quixotic endeavor of ours. I don’t know if you
remember, but before you named “Marie and Jack” as one of the top 5
erotic films of 2003, not even Good Vibrations was interested in
carrying it. (Actually, they weren’t even interested in looking at it!)
Now here we are, four years and four more films later. Not only can
you get our films at GV, but now you can get them at Amazon,
Blockbuster, Barnes & Noble and a bunch of other places that “don’t
carry films like that.”

Your “O” article is a huge accomplishment. Of course I don’t have to
tell you that. You’re the one who’s stuck to your guns through thick
and thin, you know how the kind of dedication it takes, you know that
everyday something happens that gives you every reason to give up.

But you didn’t.

And now you have “planted your flag,” and planted it right at the
very heart of our society. If you haven’t done it already, page
through the July issue. Ignore the edit and just look at the
advertising: Buick, Visa, State Farm, Oil of Olay, Met Life, Clairol,
Covergirl; the list goes on and on and on.

This isn’t just the mainstream, this is the very middle of the
mainstream, and there you are, gently inviting women to consider that
maybe, just maybe, everything they’ve been taught to believe about
themselves, about what nice girls do and don’t do, is wrong; and then
showing them a way to see themselves as full human beings, entitled
to enjoy the richness of who they are.

You’re not mine to be proud of, but I can’t help myself. I’m so proud
of you, so proud of your dedication to the fight, so proud that you
can be both a fierce warrior and a gentle teacher. And of course I’m
proud to call you my friend!

Yours very sincerely,
TC

a day with the Sanyo Xacti waterproof videocamera

June 15, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

As seen on Scott’s post (image via), last night I got my hands on an about-to-be-released Sanyo Xacti E1 waterproof video camera (thanks Irina!). So today I took it to the beach — among other, ahem, places. I love it! wish I had one of my own — except now it seems to be broken; it’s still excreting water from somewhere and the menu button stopped responding about an hour ago. I hope it mends itself by the time I have to give it back next week… Though the stills are just kind of… okay (6.0 mp). Hmmm. Still, I had a blast playing with it today. More info on the Xacti waterproof is here (Gizmodo).

My video is here, and embedded after the jump.

(more…)

the TSA hates your vibrator, and they don’t think I’m very funny either

June 14, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

cleroticcasegirl.jpg
Image found in this explicit gallery (via).

Today’s Chron column is a humorous look at applying the TSA’s travel guidelines to traveling with sex toys (and other adult issues). Lots of people like it, except for the TSA employee who wrote me a very stern letter about how they totally do not have slip ‘n slide orgies with all the lube they confiscate and is totally cranky that I made fun of the TSA. As a friend remarked, “Surprising, because all the TSA folks I’ve encountered seem to be such founts of wit. Oh, well, guess he’s the humorless exception to these ordinarily hilarious cards who protect our skies.”

I’m just tickled to get an email from the TSA that mentions protecting me from a terrorist attack, the history of plots involving liquid explosives for the past 25 years, *and* Peaches Christ all in one go. Now that’s a party. And, incidentally, the column was inspired by a friend who told me, “I didn’t even blush when the TSA person hauled out my favorite vibrator (bagged!), holding the corner of the bag like a dead rat.”

Here’s the column; today’s accompanying emails are after the jump:

The Transportation Security Administration loves lube. Loves it. They collect it. And then they have parties. Your vibrator? Not so much.

If you’re one of the 500,000 (half a million!) people traveling to San Francisco for this year’s Pride Parade, before you pack your one suitcase of sweaters and hot pants (you’ll need both) and your five suitcases of sex toys, think about the TSA for a minute. (Ugh, not like that.) Sure, uniforms are hot, and some of you may have those nonconsensual cavity-search fantasies rarin’ to go, but save your fetishes for Pink Saturday and pack your sex toys with care. Otherwise, be prepared to have your expensive toy collection ripped apart by security dogs and your favorite dick detonated by the feds. Imagine arriving and having to explain, “Honey, they blew up the Ballsy Jeff Stryker 10-inch.”

Link.

(more…)

do not miss Josh Wolf on the Colbert Report

June 13, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

Scott has it here. I am still smiling :)

omg ponies! I mean, podcasts!

June 12, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

lustmedI’m ba-ack…. Open Source Sex audio is in effect. Listen and read:

open source sex 56: erotica (MP3; episode page)
This is very much a new favorite story (and fantasy) for me, and it was a sublime pleasure to read — “Tied to the Kitchen Sink” by Kay Jaybee. It’s in my new book Lust: Erotic Fantasies for Women, and it features a cute ponytailed lass giving a stranger a very unusual (and very *hot*) surprise gift. Soooo yummy! Enjoy.

open source sex 55: erotica (MP3; episode page)
A very explicit and arousing piece of erotica from Felix D’Angelo called “Special Occasion”. Here, a woman picks up some rough trade and has sex with a tough stranger in a motel room — all while being watched.

open source sex 54: prostate pleasure map (MP3; episode page with full transcript)
Gimme some sugar, baby — here’s a quick and sweet lecture about playing with the prostate for pleasure. Yum! This podcast is also a textcast: click the center of your iPod’s trackwheel three times to read the text as you listen to me talk.

open source sex 53: male genital anatomy for pleasure (MP3; episode page with full transcript)
Guess what — I’m back. It’s been quite a ride during the break, and thank you for sticking around (or welcome back if you took a break as well). This new episode has me taking you on a tour of male sexual anatomy for pleasure. From front door to back, I explain physiology and pleasure, and what parts like to be touched, and how. This podcast is also a textcast: click the center of your iPod’s trackwheel three times to read the text as you listen to me talk.

Hot Lust cover art by Samantha Wolov.

rachel kramer bussel explains porn for women and boobies

June 11, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

soft-porn.jpg
Image: Artist Whitney Lee from Made With Sweet Love vacuuming her hook-rug porn.

Okay, maybe not the boobies part, but a girl can dream… Over at HuffPo, Rachel takes a look at the Chronicle Books “humor” book Porn for Women and pokes at finding nuggets of truth in any of it, along with making a few salient comments about what “porn for women” might actually be. She gets comments from sex bloggers, which rawks. She’s going to love my article about porn for women in the July issue of O Magazine (Oprah, yo!). Snip:

A new, 98 page book simply titled Porn for Women from Chronicle Books is causing a stir with its racy images . . . but not in the way you might think. Instead of full frontal nudity, the book mockingly features men (sometimes topless) doing household chores ranging from vacuuming to dusting to cleaning the stove, all with a smile on their faces. These hunky men say things like, “Well, I can’t offer you any solutions, but I am a good listener” and “Is that the baby? I’ll get her” and “Have another piece of cake. I don’t like you looking so thin.” All of women’s aggravations and insecurities are seemingly offered by perfect, successful men (complete with bios describing hobbies such as “Big Brother volunteer” and “giving massages.” Vanessa Valenti of the blog Feministing wrote, “it’s sad that we would need pictures and descriptions of ‘considerate men’ to jerk off to rather than expect it or have it from the men in our actual lives. Porn generally consists of sexual fantasy; making me dinner should be a standard, not something I fantasize about.” When I showed the book to one friend, she flipped through it, then practically smacked it onto the ground.

Link.

It’s regretful that this isn’t more of a parody book — that media is taking the suggested lameness seriously. This could do with a lot more irony. I remember a few years back when Chronicle Books (not the SF Chronicle, whom I write for) invited me to their downtown offices in an effort to court me to write for them; now I see a) how long it’s taking them to get with women and porn and culture, and b) how dated their ideas are. I’ll take the pizza delivery guy trope any day compared to another serving of “what women want” stereotypes, thanks — women’s fantasies are about fucking, not housecleaning, thank you very much.

I’ve got your porn for women right here. And here.

flickr explains moderated settings and boobies

June 11, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

DSC09945
(Above image by seventeenstars; is public in Flickr)

First — this made my nose into a soy latte cannon this morning: Fun With Flickr: Find The Uncensored Boobies! And — it’s filed under “butwhatabouthechildren”! So awesome.

In response to my further questions pressing them for details, Flickr’s Stewart writes me back today with clarifying details on moderating their users’ content:

Hi Violet,

Here are a couple of examples of photos which I set to the
‘moderate’ level:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/violetblue/383620308
http://www.flickr.com/photos/violetblue/371614440
http://www.flickr.com/photos/violetblue/383620313

Someone else on the team went through your account as well,
so I’m not familiar with every image that was moderated. The
easiest way to check them all is to open the organizr and
click on the “more options” button. That will give you an
advanced filter box which will let you limit the photos
displayed on the bottom by privacy setting and safesearch
levels.

The distinctions we use are pretty conventional and should
be familiar — just like you don’t see bare breasts in
general audience TV and magazines depicting sexual fetish
practices are sold over the counter (as opposed to out on
the shelves) and then only with ID. Whether or not one
agrees with these categorizations, they seem to be well
understood. Yes, there are things which are on the
borderline, but the vast majority of photos uploaded to
Flickr are pretty easy to moderate.

To be clear, it doesn’t “upset” us if you upload photos of
boobs. We just want to create an environment where users
can determine for themselves what kinds of things they see.
So, if someone repeatedly ignored instructions or requests
to classify their own photos, then we’d get upset. In your
case, you got placed into the wrong bucket by mistake. The
system is not quite there yet, but we are working on it. In
the meantime, anyone can see any of your stuff, but them
switching safesearch settings is not as simple as it should
be.

Cheers,

- Stewart

things I did *not* buy at the good vibes sample sale

June 11, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

Left to right: Sex Cab for Cutie; The Pursuit of Happy Ass; MILF Street Blues; Thighs Wide Open; Fast Fuck Nation; The Boobs of Hazzard 1 and 2; and Acockalipto.

Also, Good Vibes gave me a cone for testing and reviewing. The Cone scares me. I made a video of my cone-phobia that I’ll edit tomorrow — and Alex offered up his feelings about The Cone, unsolicited.

* And no, that image is not on Flickr.

flickr responds

June 10, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

flickr still not fixed?

The apology email I got from Stewart at Flickr is below. It is deeply appreciated:

* * * * * * *

Hi Violet,

I’ve set your account back to ’safe’, though I’ve also set
several of your photos (individually) to the ‘moderate’
setting and one or two to ‘restricted’.

Scott Beale pointed out your blog post and the issue to me
– I’m Flickr’s general manager (and one of the
co-founders) — and I understand your frustration. Short
version: I’m sorry.

Some of it is just a side-effect of the nuances and
complexity of issues we’re trying to address — it’s hard
to be explicit about *exactly* how much breast being
visible marks the difference between safe and moderate, and
most people are able to make a general distinction along the
lines of, say, G, PG-13 and R — but we also have real
problems with the way this is communicated and the way it
is implemented: you should not have to wait 30 days, and
what we’re asking you to do should be made much clearer.

(And, it should be clearer to viewers how to switch off
safe search, along with a few other things. The goal is
definitely not to censor in the sense of make things
unavailable, but to allow viewers some self-determination
in what they want to see. Still a ways to go here.)

All of the problems in our implementation have been
recognized for a while. Several tweaks and fixes have
already been made, more and in process, and we’re still
deciding how best to address a few others.

In the end, if your mind is made up and you move your
photos somewhere else permanently, that’s our loss, but
it’s also fine: we try to cast the net as wide as possible,
but Flickr is never going to be for everyone. And if you
change your mind and keep using Flickr, I can’t promise
that any particular issue is instantly fixed, but I can
promise that we work really, really hard and Flickr will be
better in three months than it is now and better still in 6
months (and 9 months, or 12, or 48)

Cheers,

- Stewart

* * * * * * *

> most people are able to make a general distinction along the
> lines of, say, G, PG-13 and R

I think it is funny that movie directors and producers have a hard time guessing what rating the MPAA will give their work.

So, you can see photos of my cat again, and a selection of pin-up photos. It sounds like they’re honestly trying to make distinctions for ratings — at least amongst themselves. But there are still many unanswered questions — which I emailed to Stewart. My still-unanswered questions are pretty obvious when you read his email, namely: Exactly which photos of mine did he personally censor? It would help me understand their TOU, since I’d restricted many settings of racy photos, myself. I thought I already was doing “the right thing”. I also want to know, how can I — can anyone — prevent this from happening, again? I know I have received special treatment in this situation, and I want to acknowledge that I know it’s not fair to others who are facing the same problems. And now, I have photos to upload from my weekend and I don’t know how to classify them, or if I should use my other service. I still have no idea what’s okay, and how to make the call around what is and isn’t going to get me penalized again (as a paying customer, natch). Confusing.

It seems to me that since the “think of the children” wording is so vague in Flickr’s TOU, this would be a great opportunity for them to make changes that set a concrete example on where they stand, both with how they serve the many communities that use Flickr, and also to the wider culture. The “what’s okay in Sarasota” community standards for obscenity prosecutions is already dubious enough in any context; applying that to a worldwide data network of community clusters is just not going to work.

This touches on a much larger issue that I think is the Achilles’ Heel of 2.0 (especially community and social networking) businesses. Trying to build a business about creating community while hoping to avoid making room for human nature. Sidestepping sexuality (Flickr), attempting to weed it out of community clusters (Tribe), or trying to pretend it doesn’t exist by blanket censorship (YouTube). Each of these responses punish users. And none of them work, and are a constant battle, and destroys relations between the businesses and the communities they’re attempting to serve (and make money off of). It also adds a lot of confusion to conversations about what businesses are legally liable for, what’s permissible and legal for individuals.

Those TOU rules are supposed to be there for people like me, too. I still really want to use Flickr because all my friends are there and I’ve built so much community there. Their rules need to be clear, and they need to be fair, and they need to be evenly distributed. So please, entrepreneurs; if you’re going to build a 2.0 social networking site, start with the way you want to serve the communities, and make one of the first decisions specifically how you’ll handle the way people are going to express themselves in that context. Sexually, and otherwise (like politically and artistically). Make room for us to do so. Let the porn sites be the porn sites, but don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s a black-or-white issue. Or, as with Flickr, don’t think that lingering in the gray area is going to make your users very happy. (Though Stewart seems aware of this.)

Thomas Hawk has some very interesting things to say about all this here (omg kewt photo!). Daniel Terdiman over at Cnet puts all this in a wider context with Flickr’s China censorship here. And Robert Scoble says oh hai wtf here.

And — thank you sooo much for your support in favoriting this horribly scary photo in an effort to raise awareness about the censorship issue.

Update: I received another thoughtful follow-up email from Stewart about Flickr’s guidelines that is well worth reading.

gmail broken

June 08, 2007 By: violet Category: Uncategorized Comments Off

Image by courtneyp.

Aaaaargh.

I got an email from Stewart at Flickr late last night (morning, actually) and want to post an update about my account (mostly re-instated, still no hard answers on exactly what I did wrong or how I can avoid this in the future) but I’m frozen in my tracks because Gmail is broken.

Aaaaaargh.

Update: Wow, Forbes blogged my Flickr problem on their Digital Download blog in Flickr Censors Violet Blue. I’ve posted screencaps of the way it still looks, and comments here and here are very interesting. And to say that I’m overwhelmed by community support would be an understatement! Wow, wow, and thank you. The value of an individual’s contribution is measured by her community — and I’m a very lucky girl to be so supported. It sounds silly, but when Flickr censored my account yesterday I actually cried, pretty much feeling like I don’t belong in any community no matter how hard I try. Now I’m feeling exactly the opposite. :D