This week’s Chronicle/Gate column is How To: Seduce A Mac Geek — A Macworld Sex Guide. The mail is coming in hot and heavy, here’s a snip:
Avoid Opening Lines About Intel
Also, don’t jump the gun and start talking about the OS X Tiger Family Pack. This is probably the one time you’ll be able to deliver the nerdiest opening pickup line about your second-generation Shuffle you ever imagined and have it work out for the best. You need to make what they call in science-fiction movies ‘first contact.’ Mars, meet Venus; Harry, meet Sally; Sigourney, meet aliens; Nano, meet dock. Here are a few suggestions:
* Talk about the Moscone Convention Center. Examples: ‘What’s that smell? Isn’t that old Greyhound bus station carpet smell romantic?’ ‘Isn’t the security here great/awful/in violation of my civil rights/apocalyptic?’ ‘Are the bathrooms on 5th or 6th Street? Isn’t there a shuttle?’ ‘I’ve been here for 10 days. Do you know the way out?’
* Talk about the reason you’re there. ‘How long have you been a fan of DRM?’ ‘This is one of my favorite places to get free pens with URLs printed on them. Do you like branded Post-its, too?’ ‘The after-parties here are legendary. Did you hear what happened last year at the O’Reilly booth with the Crisco and a stack of Make magazines?’”
Link.
Bonus @ Laughing Squid: today yesterday someone pranked first goatse on the *entire* Apple store. It’s a fun week here!
Update, reader comment: Adam writes, “*Loved* today’s column, the last line in particular. It kinda reminded me of this.”
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