Snakes on a Plane opens today (friday) — I shall now brag that I am going to a private screening in a rented movie theater with an open bar to see it. w00t! I have no date for this event — I have a date with the motherfucking snakes! I will take photos until alcohol impairs my motor functions, and then I will take video. Why? Because it is *the* gift that keeps on giving. Bad movies on contrived premises, heckling, whiskey and beer and possible weeping/model plane glue huffing will be the order of the day. It will be friday night and I will film anyone who gives me a titty flash. Chances are high that the crazy tit flasher will be myself, in which case I will film it, upload it in a reckless drunken stupor while screaming “snaaakes” at my Apple cinema display until my gay downstairs neighbors flee for the ‘quiet’ neighborhood leather bars, and then I’ll feel betrayed and hurt and angry at myself in the morning (AGAIN), at which point I will email the link to all my friends who are so tired of seeing my boobies they could probably draw them in their sleep. That’s my big friday night plan. If any readers have hot snakey URL action, send it to me and I’ll update this post. Now, about those mthfknsnakes…

* Photo via Iguana Art where there are MORE snakes on tits, ass, in mouths and … not planes.
* It’s all about Zhora from Blade Runner.
* These days you’d never get a snake dildo on a plane. Or a motherfucking snake vibrator.
* Vintage: Carlotta Tattooed by Serpentina Queen of the Snake Girls in the Snake Girl Cage.
* For hire: dances with snakes.
* Trouser snake from hell, of the hilarious kind. Oh, it gets worse.
* Sexy fleshy bellydancers and snakes in Snake Kin’s Gallery.
* Don’t forget Owen Wilson’s epic motherfucking sea serpent in a hot tub, earning him the nickname “Butterscotch Stallion”.
* You’ll find all kinds of inky snakes that Sam Jackson can’t get off in the InkyGirls gallery.
* Fetish model Paige is just fucking sexy and charmed by snakes, no plane necessary.
* And everyone loves Voltaire’s snake vertebrae tattoo (onaplane).

Update: Thomas Roche, editor from Eros Zine, sends me “Motherfucking snake on a motherfucking redhead (WDR Fetish Photography)”

OMFGGGG Update: Jonno taps that snake ass at Fleshbot with Snakes on a Playmate, including this salacious quote: “For a special bonus, don’t miss our own herpetological hottie Violet Blue as she rounds up some of the most salacious snake-related video moments on YouTube and elsewhere.”

Ow, hangover update: Snakes on a Plane album from last night’s SoaP debauchery. Ow. Loud noises frighten and hurt me right now. Ow.

Motherfucking snakes on hot babes videos after the jump.

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OMG, snakes on Salma Hayek — her hothothot snake dance in From Dusk ‘Till Dawn:

Snakes on a Maxim model (on a plane) — Elsa Pataky’s photo shoot:

If you came here for dirty, here it is — it’s just called “A snake” and while I found no snakes (on no motherfucking planes) I did get turned on watching this video. Plus the music is by “Violet Rain”. A coincidence? I think not.

So very DoucheTube; random cute girl dancing to Snakes on a Plane theme song (I do not think she is on a plane for the duration, I only made it through 30 seconds of the video and I have been drinking, as it’s actually like 1am thursday right now and I’m doing this post apres-bar):

The *actual* music video, if you really want to crack up/punish yourself — Cobra Starship - “Snakes on A Plane (Bring It)”. It’s just unfuckingbelivable this stuff gets made (on a plane or not):

Oh yeah — you asked me to bring it, and I brought a little more — it’s the Snakes on a Plane trailer:

But you’re here for something over the edge, yes? How about a contortionist fetish snake dance (on a mfknplane)?