This I know. Because my butt plug tells me so. Sing along with me, people!

There was a huge box on my doorstep today; a giant gift from Tantus Silicone. Metis, the woman behind Tantus, is one of my heroes — because I think she single-handedly mainstreamed silicone toys, getting these safe, incredibly pleasurable toys into garden-variety porn shops. It was no small feat; not many people know how insane something like that was to undertake, and to get these smart products into in such an old-boys’ network. She’s worked tirelessly, patiently for years educating creepy old porn distributors as to why they should even care about what people stick into their bodies, and what responsible sex toy retailing means — all to an industry that historically doesn’t give a shit. Now you can find Tantus products *almost everywhere*, including even jack shacks in seedy parts of town all over the US. You go, girl. She is seriously St. Fuckin’ Metis.

Anyway, I sniffed her panties over all of this big time on the Stockroom Forums, and she sent me this incredible thank-you gift. We are all in this together. Jesus in a sparkly rubber thong, I can’t wait to find playmates to review the goodies with!

Pictured: black vibrating FeelDoe Stout (eeheehee!), purple G-Force, purple Bend Over Beginner Harness Kit, copper Ripple Plug, purple vibrating Pro Touch Plug, and a couple things I can’t idenitfy, like the white dildo — which I’m particularly excited about because white dildos are hard to find — and the Charmer dildo; the red thing I have no idea what it is. I’m guessing it’s for clit stim worn on a guy’s cock/balls as a cock ring, or fitted onto/into a harness and dildo rig for clit stim. Please *don’t* tell me if you know. I’m ready to dust off Tiny Nibbles’ Research Labs for the good of Planet Earth to find out. Fortunately for me, Earthlings are easy and “anal probe” is already in the lexicon.