happy birthday crankypants!

by Violet Blue on March 20, 2006

girl boosey
Today is my friend Crankypants’ birthday; in true Crankypants form he won’t let me take him out to dinner tonight. Harumph. He works for I think the largest sex book distributor in the world, and I’d be cranky in the pants too if I did that; us sex writers are high maintenance. I’m cranky, too — I spent hours today trying to figure out why my Logitech USB headset suddenly stopped working with my laptop; just to have it suddenly stop working with my main computer. Audio goes out through the mic, but none comes in the headphones. I hate audio today. Grrr. Plus I’m all sore, and I can’t tell if it’s from the new hip-hop dance classes I’m taking or the sex accident I had on saturday night. If my ass was a car, I drank too much and crashed my Vulva; the report from Hornboy is that I fell off the bed after the Chinese wedding. I told Thomas and he said, “Okay. That statement has now merged with the SF Fetish Ball stage show in my mind, and from now on every time I think of you I will see you doing the porn star tumble off a bondage bed from a piledriver position, with a Catholic priest presiding over it all while underage boys sing Beijing opera around you. Help!” (Did I go to the ball? No! They were rude when I called as a press inquiry. Lame.)

But to make up for the pointlessness of my day (besides doing my taxes) I added an update to the unsafe page: I started a list of responsible sex toy retailers, inlcuding newcomers South Coast Pleasure and adorable (UK) Tickled Online. Please do email me with suggestions and sites I missed; I know there are more out there. I’m also looking at the new San Francisco Wiki Directory (ess-eff.com) with a leer that should make any Wiki cross its legs in a mixture of fear and delight. This could be really cool.

In the meantime I’m drooling over the Collette Corset at Stockroom. Anyone want to trade a Logitech headset for it? Brand new, works with any computer but mine… :(

Holy baby jesus butt plug, Hornboy just gave me a trumpet! (Yes, I know the image is a baritone.)

Violet Blue

The London Times named Violet Blue "One of the 40 bloggers who really count" and Self Magazine named TinyNibbles one of the “Best Sex Resources for Women.” Blue is an autodidact and pundit on sex and technology, hacking and security, porn for women, privacy and bleeding-edge tech culture. She is a journalist for ZDNet, CBS News, CNET; she's an educator, speaker, crisis counselor, volunteer NGO trainer, and the author and editor of over 40 award-winning books.

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