October 2005

I love Halloween — and I’ve got a bunch of pictures forthcoming. But first pull on a costume and treat yourself (or trick out to) Halloween porn:

* listen to Open Source Sex 18, with two hot pieces of Halloween erotica (and plenty of oral sex, yum)
* Porn Bread never fails to oooh and ahhh (or eeew and ugh) on every holiday: Halloween is no exception
* erotic vampire movie picks at Viviane’s Sex Carnival
* Dacia directs us to pumpkin dildo creations (and how to make them)

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Still alive… barely! I wrote over 7,000 words today (that’s about 25 pages, give or take) plus three Fleshbot posts; I feel kinda dizzy. But I can safely say that looking over the book’s content that if Focus on the Family got pissed off about my Ultimate Guide to Fellatio enough to try and ban it (back in 2003), they’re going to assemble the angry mob for this next sex guide, for sure. No, I can’t tell you what it’s about, and I really wish I could, but let’s just say I’ve gone happy-skipping into crazy sex territory (and I’m feeling it).

Friends call me and are mad: I got 14 calls today. I cannot answer my phone when I write like this, I can hardly even feed myself, it’s a bizarre feeling of madness and I don’t know where the writing comes from. I wish they understood. If I have any friends left, they are the only ones who understand deadlines and the intense need to write. I disappear when I write like this, I feel translucent. Ghostwriters must feel like this, but even more ghostly, more invisible; I could never be a ghostwriter, even though I can produce content like one. Reading this, you are more in contact with me than my close friends. It really is like dating me, in so many ways; I’m inconsistent but still yours. Reading me is intimacy. I’ll answer my phone saturday, after I lecture to human sexuality students at the UCSF annex in the afternoon about oral sex, and before the dancing, drinking and Halloween parties at night… I’ll be back to my normal bloggy self soon.

My costume this year is most fitting. You’ll see. In the meantime, enjoy Machine Animal Collages.

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No, I have not rushed out to buy a video iPod so I can watch underfed starlets appear to be 1/8″ thick and gulp down penises shrunk to the size of a sunflower seed. No, I’m saving my money for the USB Volkswagen so I can be the first customer service call about how to get the tentacle porn off my car’s hard drive… “Uh, my Jetta is acting *really* weird…”

Actually, no shopping of any kind has occurred since my last post, unless you count my date (Campari) for Saturday’s straight male amateur strip night, “For the Ladies” — and my other dates, bought and paid for in $1 bills. Dancing boys cost money. It’s a lament about modern society. But toss a bill at a boy, and you get some action.

Look at the photos; better yet, watch this delicious QuickTime video of one of the hotties in action. Literally — he and most of the 8 men I saw strip are from Extra Action. Another is a real-life carpenter, one a naked poet from Spain, and the other was delicious Ben, back in town for a bit. Two of the acts were just for me: the hawt Harvey Birdman striptease (I’m a rabid Birdman fan), and the homoerotic arrest scene, yummy! Every time I look at those photos I throw a dollar bill at Hornboy; usually he’s sitting right next to me so it’s getting a little awkward.

I’m overworked, a little depressed and behind in my podcasts… So blogging has been erratic, which I don’t like. And no time off for SRL makes me very unhappy. I’m taking time off from Fleshbot for the next month (and maybe permanently; I’ve been writing, editing and running the site since the hurricane) to get back on my happy porny track. I really enjoy the type of blogging I do for Fleshbot, but the sheer volume and back end work of the daily workload is intense, especially when it’s pretty much a labor of love. Love won’t buy me a new dirt bike, or write my books for me, for that matter.

Wow, I just found out that Hornboy once threw a burrito at Bon Jovi, and missed. That’s hilarious.

Photos: Samatha Wolov

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I really did sleep for 12 hours, yikes. That is, after going out to see Cronenberg’s “History of Violence”, which has sex scenes in it that are hotter than any porn I’ve seen in a long time; when was the last time I saw 69, or people having sex with their clothes on — not to mention sex with such violent heat? Just an incredible film all around, and I’m now a sweaty-palmed Viggo Mortensen fan.

Here are photos from the fun part of my LA trip, especially check them out if you’re a Coop fan; more details coming soon. Now I have to get ready to go to a crazy event being put on by several of the men in Extra Action — an all male-stripper event called “For the Ladies”. It’s Hornboy’s stripping/lapdancing debut! Oh yes, I’m taking lots of one dollar bills and my camera… !

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21 hours in LA, a lot to share after I get some rest; 3 hours of sleep Wednesday; a little over 4 hours last night… I’m a zombie. Perfect for Halloween.

But the ultra-cool thing I waiting for me when I got back was that sexblo.gs asked me to do a self-interview — seriously, check it out (boobie alert).

* Last night’s event in the Porn Valley Dispatch.
* Extremely cool and interesting update about iPod porn from my friend Ed over at Altporn.
* Rumor control, in reply to several emails: No, “Ben” isn’t Adam Curry. And the girl that emailed me in the last post wasn’t Joanna Angel. (But I can still taste email girl on my lips from last night…. sublime. She drives me crazy. If she lived in San Francisco I’d be *too busy* to blog right now, and even less rested.)

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